


Young & Reckless

by AnotherGallavichLove



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, Barebacking, Blow Jobs, Fluff, High School AU, High School Marriage, Kissing, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Mickey and Mandy are twins, Mickey in glasses, Summer Camp AU, Tags will be added in the future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-06-05 23:27:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 104,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6727666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherGallavichLove/pseuds/AnotherGallavichLove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Moving to Chicago together with his sister had never exactly been a part of Mickey's life-plan. Becoming an annual camp counselor had never really been a part of Ian's. And neither of them had planned on meeting the love of their life at seventeen years old.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lovestruck

Mickey’s eyes were focused on the long, gravel road ahead of him, his right hand lazily curled around the upper part of the leather covered steering-wheel while he had his chin leaned into the open palm of his left. The singing of the early birds was loud enough to reach inside of the old, military green SUV, the crunch of the tires just barely mixing with the cheerful sound.

 

A very light headache was present in the back of Mickey’s head, most likely thanks to the fact that his body wasn’t used to getting up at five am - especially not in the summer time. The thin, white v-neck hung loosely over his upper body, accompanied by the black surfer shorts sitting on his hips, because the sun was beating down with way too much force for him to be alright with wearing jeans right now. His chuck-covered foot pressed lightly down at the gas every now and then, taking the car further and further along the skinny gravel road.

 

The calming sounds of the crunching gravel and the singing birds were joined by the soft, even breaths of Mickey’s twin sister. Mandy had of course insisted that her brother drive so that she could grab a few extra hours of sleep; now she was sitting in the passenger seat, her temple leaned against the glass window, the dark hair pulled up into a lazy half-ponytail on top of her head. Her thin cobalt-blue tank top was stretched tightly across her upper body, covering her all the while not making her want to tear her own skin off in a heat as bad as this one. Her regular old pair of light washed and distressed denim shorts hung loosely from her hips, a pair of black flip flops sitting on her feet.

 

A part of Mickey cursed her for being able to sleep - surely an hour or so long nap would cure his headache - but at the same time he didn’t really mind this too much. The time was slowly ticking closer to half past six; it was rare that he and his sister were up this early at all; he rarely got the chance to listen to the birds or see the sun come up. Granted, Mickey wasn’t the type of person to miss out on sleep just to experience these things, but on the rare occasions that he had no choice but to get up early - like today - he didn’t exactly mind it at all either.

 

A soft, comfortable sigh slipped out from in between Mickey’s parted lips and he moved his right hand a little bit further up the steering-wheel while his left one left his chin to push his square glasses a little bit further up his nose before he switched, moving around a little bit in the seat to place his free hand onto the steering-wheel, his right one landing in his lap to rest of a few seconds. He tilted his neck backwards just a little bit, his eyes staying focused on the skinny road ahead while he swallowed a little bit, feeling himself grow ever so slightly more awake with every crunch of the tires.

 

  
***

 

  
A long, annoyed breath slipped out from in between Ian’s parted lips as he straightened up again, frowning down at the mess of fabric and tent-poles. He had done this a thousand times over before, so technically there wasn’t a problem for him with setting up the tents for the summer; but it was as if everything became so much more complicated in the heat - this had to be the warmest summer Chicago had seen in years. Since Ian was among the oldest counselors - and the one that had worked the most amount of summers in the past - it fell on him to do the routine things like these so that it would all go smoothly. Setting up the tents, making sure they all had enough food; things that would most likely take the newbies hours to get done.

 

Usually, Ian was kind of excited to help out here a few weeks during the summer. Being a camp-counselor was kind of fun, not to mention the fact that he was being paid a little bit for it. However, this year it looked to be a little bit less fun than it usually was. The unbelievably annoying heat was one of the reasons why, not to mention the fact that Scooter and Sabrina had been too busy to go with him. The three of them usually joked around and did all kinds of stupid stuff for the couple of weeks they were here, but now Ian was alone. Well - as far as he saw it anyway.

 

A few of the children had already arrived; Ian could hear them somewhere in the distance. Screaming and laughing and playing in the water a few meters away. Another sigh escaped him while he crossed his arms over his chest, looking around; he could just barely see the hint of the sparkly surface of the cold and refreshing lake from his spot up in the woods. All he really wanted to do was go down there and cool down, but he knew that that wasn’t an option - he had too much to get done before he could actually start to have some kind of fun what so ever.

 

So instead, Ian bent down and picked his bottle of water up from the ground, pouring some into the open palm of his left hand and smearing it over his face, hoping that it would help cool him down - at least for a second or so. Thankfully, Ian had been smart enough to let Fiona buzz his hair off the other day - what he had done in a heat like this one, had he had long hair, he didn’t know. A black wife beater sat tightly around his torso, and he silently cursed himself for picking such a dark color today of all days; his pair of dark green surfer shorts hung from his hips, ending right by his knees while a pair of Lip’s old, black flip-flops sat on his feet.

 

Yet another deep and slightly annoyed sigh escaped Ian’s lips as he looked back down at the mess in front of him that was somehow supposed to become a tent. The sun continued beating down over the woods, seeming to become hotter and hotter with every single second that passed; Ian could hear the sound of the cars driving over the gravel, arriving to the campsite one by one a few minutes away from where he was standing. Finally, Ian bit the bullet and bent down to start to get this tent in order - the sooner he got it done, the sooner he could go on with his day and do something that would actually bring him at least a small amount of joy.

 

  
***

 

  
A couple of minutes after seven, Mickey’s headache was slowly starting to decrease as he woke up a little bit more, finally pulling the car into the parking lot. It wasn’t much of one, actually; it was more of a large square in the middle of the woods, outlined by a low log fence. It was already littered by a few cars here and there, letting Mickey know that he had come to the right place despite the shady directions they had been given. The low crunch of the gravel underneath them still registered in Mickey’s brain as he found a good spot to park their large SUV, the birds continuing their singing.

 

Soon enough, he turned the key, shutting the car off. A soft breath fell out from in between his lips and he stayed still for a second or two, using his left hand to lift his glasses off of his face so that he could rub some of the still remaining sleep out of his eyes before putting them back on, running a hand through his unstyled black hair.

 

“Mands” Mickey woke his twin up, turning to look at her while pushing her shoulder to gain some of her attention. Mandy’s dark eyebrows furrowed in annoyance to begin with, her tongue darting out to swipe across her dry bottom lip as her body slowly started moving a little bit, letting Mickey know that his weak wakeup call had thankfully been enough. Without opening her eyes, Mandy lifted her head off of the glass window, sitting up straight in her seat while bringing her hands up to her face, running them over her features a few times to wake herself up before she let them drop to her lap, her eyes blinking open to focus on the sunlit woods ahead of them.

 

“We’re here?” Her voice was tired and raspy - several times the Milkovich twins had been accused of having the same exact voices, save for different pitches and maybe it wasn’t too far off either.

 

“Yeah” Mickey answered, undoing his seat-belt and getting out of the vehicle, leaving his sister to do the same. To be honest, moving to Chicago together hadn’t been all that appealing to Mickey to begin with, but though they weren’t eighteen yet, after getting emancipated they were finally free of Terry, so moving somewhere far away had seemed like the obvious choice. One thing had kind of led to another, and through patience and persistence, three months later, here they were. They shared a good apartment in the city, and in the fall they were starting their senior year at a new high school.

 

Finding a summer job until then? Well, that one was pure luck. Taking care of children had never been Mickey’s thing - nor Mandy’s, really - but while they had been signing up to go to school, they had been told about this summer camp. Apparently it was something that happened every year, and as long as you were over thirteen years old, you could sign up as a counselor and even get paid for it - granted not a lot, but still. Mandy had talked Mickey into it, and had it not been for this fucking heat, maybe he wouldn’t even be regretting his agreeing to it.

 

The thin, white fabric was starting to cling to his body just a little bit as Mickey pushed his glasses further up his nose; it was more of a habit than anything else, really. His tattooed fingers curled around the door to the backseat and he pulled it open, retrieving both his own gymbag and his twin sister’s before slamming it shut again, pressing the button to lock the car. Mandy’s legs ached a little bit as she walked, unused to being straight and standing up after the hours sitting in that car. She had let her hair loose and she had the thin black hairtie wrapped around her right wrist as she gathered the dark stands back up into a more proper ponytail, leaving her bangs completely out of it.

 

Mickey handed his sister her grey gymbag and she hung it over her shoulder, both of them still a little bit too tired to speak much to one another when they really didn’t have to. The sun continued beating down over the state, the birds singing in what sounded in just about each and every tree. From the parking lot, they were pretty much surrounded by trees; though they could see the lake quite clearly and they could also hear people talking somewhere close, children laughing. Mandy reached up, adjusting her nose-ring a little bit - a habit much like the one her brother had of pushing up his glasses. They made their way across the brown, sandy gravel, the tiny stones crunching a little bit beneath their feet.

 

It didn’t take very long before somebody approached the twins. Right as they stepped off of the gravel and into the woods, walking towards the sound of the people, they spotted a tall man coming towards them - he was clearly too old to be a high-school student; Mandy would guess late twenties, which made her assume that he was the leader of the whole thing. He had a black wife-beater stretched out across his upper body, a pair of white basketball shorts hanging low on his hips. His hair was quite ordinary, a medium brown color and a little bit longer than a buzzcut, yet not really enough to style.

 

As the man got closer to Mickey and Mandy, a welcoming smile started to appear on his thin lips.

 

“I take it you two are the newest counselors?”

 

  
***

 

  
“Ian!” Ian was torn out of the haze of his own mind by Dave calling his name from a bit away. He had had his arms crossed over his chest, frowning at the tents around himself that were by now actually that - tents instead of a random mess of poles and fabric. He was a little bit proud of himself that he had actually put them all up despite how much he had been dreading it; he hadn’t put any of them too close together, instead they were spread out around the campsite with a good amount of space in between - although close enough that you could at least somewhat see them all at the same time.

 

That pride aside, he wasn’t feeling much better about spending the next couple of weeks here like this. It seemed that with every single second that passed, the hotter it became and by now he was pretty sure that he was sweating enough that there were drops of it rolling down his neck - that was quite possibly an exaggeration, but his point stood nonetheless. The fabric of his wife-beater was completely glued his torso, his mouth dry with the need for water. He stayed standing still for another second or so before he bent down and picked his bottle up off of the ground, starting to head in the direction of the parking lot and Dave’s voice.

 

“Yeah” He said once he was close enough for the camp-leader to hear him, knowing after all of these years exactly what he wanted. There were always one or two new counsellors joining, and since Ian was the one who had been here the longest, he was always the one who got to show them the ropes and teach them how to do different things around here. A few steps after the word had left Ian’s mouth, he was standing by Dave’s side, and although he was pretty sure that the older man was talking or explaining something, he couldn’t listen.

 

Ian’s throat was completely an utterly dry in a way that he had never once experienced in the past. There were two people around his age standing in front of him, a boy and a girl - they looked like siblings or possibly even twins. Ian’s eyes were immediately drawn to the boy, and that was the reason why he couldn’t listen. Couldn’t talk.

 

This guy had to be the hottest human being that he had ever seen. It was cheesy and pathetic, but it was the truth - he couldn’t explain it. He had on a white v-neck - the fabric just thin enough that Ian could see the pale color of his torso peaking through. The piece of clothing clung to his body in the heat, hugging the muscles of his arms in a way that made Ian’s mouth even more dry. The guy’s thick, pink lips were slightly parted and Ian wasn’t sure how a pair of lips could be beautiful, but they were. A pair of medium sized square glasses framed his eyes, and though he wasn’t looking into Ian’s, Ian just somehow knew that they were beautiful as well.

 

The guy’s hair was just as jet-black as his sister’s, his frame standing just ever so slightly taller, making him quite short - at least in comparison to Ian. There were so many different things about this guy that made Ian incredibly attracted to him just right off the bat, and it took him quite a few seconds to gather up the willpower to stop gawking and tune Dave’s words back into his brain. Holy fuck.

 

“…And then come back and we’ll make sure all the kids are here” Ian only managed to catch the very last few words, but thankfully he could train newbies in his sleep by now - Dave mostly talked for the sake of the new counselors and not because Ian wouldn’t know what to do. His arms were hanging limply by his sides and he forced himself to straighten up a little bit - maybe to feel better or maybe to look better just in case this guy just so happened to be into guys, he chose not to dwell on it all too much. Dave walked away towards the lake, leaving Ian alone with the siblings.

 

“I’m Ian” Ian reached a hand forwards as he introduced himself; maybe Dave had revealed his name to the two of them while he hadn’t been listening, but he figured he’d rather be safe than sorry. The girl took it, greeting the redhead politely.

 

“Mandy” She said her name as they let their hands drop before she hitched her seemingly heavy bag a little bit further up onto her skinny shoulder. Thanks to the heat, a few of the black strands of her bangs stuck to her forehead, and Ian could only imagine that he would be looking the same had he not given his sister permission to shave most of his own hair off. “This is my brother, Mickey” Mandy said then, nodding her head to her left, unknowingly giving Ian the permission to do the thing he was craving to do - look at him again.

 

Now that he was a little bit closer and was actually able to look into the guy’s - Mickey’s - eyes, he could tell that the orbs framed by the thick glasses were a deep blue color - or maybe green? - actually, no. They were blue. Mickey looked up at Ian, quite a height difference in between the two despite the fact that they weren’t standing all that close.

 

Ian reached his hand forwards to greet Mickey the same way he had greeted Mandy, but Mickey shook his head a little bit, putting his hand up in between them in a gesture that said ‘ _Nah, man. We’re good_ ’.

 

“Hey” He just nodded once with the rasped word, looking up at Ian, most likely in an effort to make the gesture seem a little bit less rude. Ian didn’t have a problem. His heart still felt as if it had stopped in his chest, his throat dry. He didn’t know what the fuck it was about this guy that made him react like this, but he wished that he knew how to stop it. Hopefully Mickey would mention his girlfriend soon - or say or do anything that would make Ian realize that he didn’t have a shot in hell so that he could shake this weird instant crush off.

 

“Anyway” Thankfully Ian managed to somewhat snap himself out of the trance - hopefully before either of the twins had noticed his love-struck state. Mickey pushed his glasses further up his nose, and it took everything Ian had inside of him not to smile or lick his lips as how that tiny act somehow managed to be both really fucking cute and really fucking hot at the same time. “You can pick a tent and drop your bags off first, come on” Ian managed to keep his voice surprisingly sure and smooth as he turned around and started walking back into the woods, hearing the crunch of the siblings following him.

 

Since they couldn’t currently see his face, he took the opportunity to clench his eyes closed, cursing himself for getting crushes to fucking easily - and for becoming to clumsy when the one he had one on was in his presence. This wasn’t fucking normal, and the only thing he could think to do was to shake it off. What were the odds that Mickey would be into him anyway? Or even gay, for that matter? Not that large at all.

 

Ian stopped in the middle of the campsite and turned around, gesturing at all of the tents that surrounded the three of them.

 

“That one’s mine, and those are taken” He spoke, excluding three tents from Mickey and Mandy’s choices. As long as he kept his eyes off of the guy, he seemed to be able to handle himself just fine, so that’s what he did.

 

The siblings both chose one tent to share, and then the party of three continued walking, the Milkovich’s trailing after Ian as the taller man made sure to keep his shoulders rolled backwards, hoping that he looked a little bit more confident with everything than he felt inside. His skin was covered in a thin layer of sweat thanks to the sun that was still beating down, and it didn’t do much for his dry throat - he couldn’t tell if it was because his body wanted more water or because his body wanted the guy - but that’s as far as Ian ever let his thought trail go. If he were to allow himself to get carried away, nothing good would ever come from that.

 

  
***

 

  
Mickey trailed a few steps behind Ian, making sure to keep his gaze fixed onto the ground beneath his feet, moving along. He didn’t dare look up at all, because he had a feeling that if he did that, his eyes would immediately end up glued to Ian’s muscular back and he wouldn’t risk that. He wasn’t all too sure what the fuck was going on with him, really - well, actually he kind of did, of course. He was a seventeen yearold gay guy, after all. But he had never become attracted to somebody this quickly ever before, not in this way.

 

The second he had laid eyes on the guy whom he still knew nothing at all about save for his name, his throat had completely closed up. It was as if his heart has stopped beating and started slamming against the inside of his ribcage all at the same time, and it didn’t make any sense. As if these couple of weeks weren’t going to be burden enough, he now had to battle with having a… crush? He supposed that might be the correct term. On a guy who most likely wasn’t even the slightest bit gay.

 

The burning sun didn’t make any of it better either. Mickey had hoped that it would end up running away at some point, but with every second that passed and with every step that the three of them took forwards, it seemed that it only became hotter and hotter, making Mickey sweat more and more. He could also easily imagine that he would be battling a pretty bad sunburn in a day or so. A somewhat silent sigh escaped Mickey’s lips, and he lifted his right hand up to his face, pushing his glasses a little bit further up his nose.

 

A part of Mickey was a little bit scared that his sister had ended up catching onto his sudden attraction to this guy, but when he straightened up and turned his head to his right to look at her, he realized that she hadn’t. She had her arms hanging limply by her sides, her ponytail bopping with every step she took as her gaze stayed on the ground, eyebrows slightly furrowed.

 

After seventeen years, Mickey knew all of those facts added up to Mandy being way too tired to pay attention to anybody but herself - which seemed fucking unfair seeing as she was the one who had gotten the chance to take a nap in the car while Mickey drove them here, but under the circumstances, he was just happy for it. If Mandy realized that Mickey found Ian attractive, he was well aware of the fact that she would never shut up about it.

 

  
***

 

  
The next few hours were completely miserable in Mickey’s opinion, though the main reason for that was of course the heat so there was nothing that anybody could really do about it. He felt as if his t shirt clung more and more to his body with every second that passed and all he wanted was for the nightfall to come so that the air could hopefully become just a little bit lighter.

 

Thankfully, after Ian had given him and Mandy their quick tour, he had split to greet the arriving children or something similar - Mickey wasn’t actually listening. He still had a difficult time when it came to that - and he didn’t see him for quite a few hours, which meant that he didn’t have to think or worry about the way his heart seemed to act up whenever he laid eyes on him. It wasn’t normal, and it was annoying as fuck, but just like the beating sun, there wasn’t anything he could do about it at the moment.

 

The first day wasn’t that eventful - from what the twins had been able to gather, it was usually always about just getting everybody into their tents and making sure that all of the children were happy and fed, and the activities and shit would start up for real tomorrow. Apparently there was going to be fishing, swimming, kayaking and all kinds of shit like that that Mickey would never think to do in a million years unless he was getting paid for it. But he was, so here he was. Well, technically he was getting paid to take care of the kids while they did those things, but same same. Or different; whatever.

 

As the clock was starting to tick towards six pm, Mickey and Mandy were both a few minutes away from the site where the tents were placed, both of them carrying some wood for the fire per Dave’s orders. Mickey honestly didn’t understand why the camp wasn’t just held in some kind of cabin where they could just switch on a lamp - since the camp was somehow connected to the school, surely they could afford renting one for a few weeks - but from what he had understood, this camp was all about getting closer to nature or some shit, he honestly hadn’t really been listening. The most important thing was that he and Mandy would end up earning a few bucks to get them started now that they legally had to support themselves - since they went to school, they did get some extra money, though.

 

The sun had started to settle down a little but, burning into Mickey’s skin a little bit less than it had been this morning. The heat was still fucking unbearable, though, making it a little bit hard to breathe. He almost felt as if they were back in Texas despite the fact that they had both fought hard to get out of there. The birds had quieted down a little bit, but Mickey could still here them to somewhat of a degree, sitting in a tree somewhere above them, singing. Sticks and stones crunched beneath Mickey and Mandy’s feet as they walked around, looking to find a little bit more wood to make sure that the fire would at least end up somewhat of a decent size.

 

A comfortable silence sat in between the siblings, neither of them feeling the need to say anything. Mickey swallowed, carrying all of the sticks in his left hand and letting his right hand free so that he could use it to push his glasses a little bit further up his nose, not sure if he needed to or if it was just a habit. After a year of wearing those things, he had never once dropped them, but he still pushed at them quite a lot.

 

Soon, the siblings decided that they probably had enough to make a fire in the middle of camp, so Mickey and Mandy both started heading back across the road, the gravel crunching beneath their feet. Both siblings were ever so slightly starting to feel the effects of getting up so uncomfortably early as they had been forced to this morning, more and more energy seeping out of their bodies and though neither of them were particularly looking forwards to sleeping in a fucking tent, sleep was something that they were in fact looking forwards to.

 

With every step they took, more and more sounds started registering with them. From the sounds of it, the children were playing a game or something - at least that would be Mandy’s guess from the way in which they were laughing and screaming. She was thankful that said children weren’t all too small - her guess would be about eight to twelve so you could at least talk to them. Had they been toddlers, neither of the Milkovich twins would have been very sure about how to handle them.

 

Once they made it back to camp, Dave accepted the wood and dropped it down into the stone circle he had created for the fire, thanking them. After that, the darkness pretty soon started falling over the woods and as the blaring heat relaxed a little bit, Mickey couldn’t help but think that maybe this wouldn’t be so bad at all.

 

  
***

 

  
Later that night, one or two of the younger kids had crawled inside of their tents to go to sleep, leaving Mickey, Mandy, Ian, Dave and a few other counselors left around the fire together with the older ones. Mickey had his eyes focused into the fire, just like his sister as Dave lazily strummed his guitar in the tune of some kids song like the most cliché camp leader ever. A few of the kids sang along, and Mandy had her legs stretched out in front of herself, leaning her left cheek against her brother’s shoulder as she was starting to become even more tired with every second that passed.

 

Mickey swallowed, using his free left hand to push his glasses up his nose as he tore his eyes away from the orange flames, looking up. By chance, he found a pair of green eyes already looking at him, the fire casting shadows over Ian’s face that could probably be described as beautiful.

 

Yeah, Mickey realized as he willed his heart to slow down its pace. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so here's my logic with this, right? I have so many ideas for more dramatic fics, plots that include murders and ghosts and other forms of death and other shit like that. But the thing is that I think this is what I need right now. Something simple and cute (although of course this fic will include quite a bit of angst, because I'm the writer, duh) but in comparison to some of the other ideas that I have written down, it's quite simple and fluffy. 
> 
> In case it wasn't obvious, this won't be much of a slow burn. It's going to focus a lot on what Ian and Mickey go through once they're a couple, rather than them actually getting together to begin with. Also, heads up that excluding Ian and Mickey, Mandy will be the biggest character in this story, because I don't feel as if I've expressed enough love for her lately. 
> 
> So yeah. Here it is. My new story. I hope that some of you are excited for it, and I'm wishing you all an amazing day <3


	2. Distractions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was just something about him, and Ian wasn’t all too sure what it was. Sure, with the muscular arms and perfectly arched eyebrows, he was attractive. The glasses and the thick lips even made him cute, but it was more than that. There was something else that Ian couldn’t quite put his finger on - something that made Mickey different from just some random hot guy.

The slightly muffled sound of the early birds singing slowly slipped inside of Mickey’s head, registering with him. He wasn’t quite awake enough to realize what it was, though so instead it morphed and blended into his meaningless dream as he flipped over onto his stomach, subconsciously attempting to shut the sound out along with the morning sun that was slipping in through the thin roof of the blue tent. 

 

Half of his face ended up buried in the pillow as he did his best to try to fall back into a deep sleep for a while longer. The sleeping bag next to him made some sounds as his sister turned, moving around and he knew that she was in the same state of semi-sleep as he was. Despite the fact that Mickey tried to get his brain to relax, he only seemed to wake up more for every second that passed, and the realization drew a quiet, low groan out of his throat as he clenched his eyes shut, soft breaths escaping his lips. 

 

The last of them had all gone to bed at around eleven last night, and at that point Mickey had gotten dressed in his hoodie and a pair of sweatpants because it had actually been quite cold inside of the tent.

 

Now he was starting to regret that decision though, because the more he woke up, the hotter his body seemed to become - in fact, he wouldn’t be very surprised if this day would end up becoming even more miserable than yesterday and to be honest, he wasn’t looking forwards to it all that much. Even his fucking feet were hot. Another groan sounded in his throat and he flipped over onto his back, staying still for a second or two before he continued rolling, ending up on his stomach once again. 

 

“If you don’t stop your fucking thrashing, I will feed you to the wolves” Mandy’s raspy, sleep-laced voice rang throughout the tent, and Mickey sighed but had no energy to fire back just yet. It was too fucking early. 

 

He flipped onto his back and then he stopped moving for a minute or so, his eyes shut as he listened to the birds, seeing the veins in his own eyelids thanks to the sun shining right above. Pretty soon, though, he was forced to realize that his body had had enough sleep and though he would like to, he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep as he was just becoming more and more energized with every second that passed. By the heavy breaths coming from his sister’s side of the tent, he was aware that she had fallen back asleep by now, and it made him incredibly jealous. 

 

Mickey sighed heavily as he gave up, opening his eyes and placing his hands on either side of his body, easing himself to sit up. He blinked a few times, his eyes slowly focusing on the world in front of him - well, the little he could focus without his glasses on. He swallowed down the dry, crusty feeling that he always had in his throat in the morning and then he brought his arms behind himself, peeling the thick hoodie off of his body and throwing it to the side, almost sighing in relief as he felt his sweaty body thank him. 

 

Then he brought his hands up to his face, rubbing his eyes a little bit, attempting to get rid of some of the remaining sleep before he reached for the pair of glasses that were resting on the floor of the tent, placing them back onto his face so that he could actually see. How the fuck he had gone so many years denying the fact that he needed them, he would probably never know. 

 

After that, he just sat there for a few moments; too tired to really move just quite yet. His entire body still felt incredibly hot - and not in a good way what so ever. And he knew that if the tent was almost too warm for him to handle first thing in the morning, he didn’t have a good day ahead of him. No doubt it would be so hot that he felt as if his skin was melting off, but today was also the first day that he would really have to start working - taking care of children for the most part if he had understood things correctly. It wasn’t that Mickey had a problem with kids, really. But some adults that he had seen fucking loved playing with kids - running and jumping and screaming and laughing - and Mickey had just never really been one of those people. Neither had Mandy, though she was probably closer to it. 

 

Alas, he was getting paid for it and he knew that there were in fact worse ways to spend a summer so he decided to suck it up. Despite this, he would probably be inwardly cringing and complaining for the full two weeks, but that was just who he was. 

 

Mickey’s phone was somewhere deep inside of the duffel bag that was laying next to his sleeping bag and he was way too lazy to unzip it and start digging just so that he could find out what time it was. Taking the sun into consideration, along with the fact that he couldn’t really hear anybody outside of the tent, his guess was a little bit before seven am.

 

The loud birds continued singing, the sound reaching into the tent, making Mickey wonder how the fuck his sister could still be asleep - then again, she had always been one of those people who sleeps better with some background noise which was probably also the reason why she had slept like a fucking log on the way here yesterday; with the crunching gravel and the same singing birds, Mickey wasn’t sure that he would have been able to do the same. 

 

Five minutes or so later, Mickey finally managed to drag himself out of his own head and back into the tent. A soft, sleep-laced sigh escaped his nose and he brought his hand back up to his face, rubbing his eyes a little bit behind the glasses before pushing them back up so that they sat correctly on the bridge of his nose. A part of him wanted to lay back down and see if he could catch an hour or so more of sleep before he truly had to get up, but he knew that it would be a complete fail, so instead he decided to exit the tent now. 

 

If nobody else was awake yet, maybe he would take a walk or some shit, try to gather some more energy for today - fuck knows he would need it if he would have to be forced to deal with both children, this heat and the woods all at the same time. 

 

Mickey knew that he couldn’t possibly wear these sweatpants outside in the hot sun, so he looked over to his duffel bag; the same black surfer shorts that he had been wearing yesterday were thrown over it, and he reached for them, pulling the clothing article into his lap before unzipping the bag, starting to move some things around to try to find a shirt - usually he would be fine with wearing the same shirt as yesterday too, but when it was this fucking hot even he didn’t want to have yesterday’s sweat laying against his skin. 

 

Mickey tugged the white t shirt off of his body, replacing it with an even thinner, dark blue muscle tee. Hopefully the deep v shaped neckline would help keep him somewhat cool - if that was even possible. He was pretty sure that it was currently hotter than a hundred degrees - which might be an exaggeration, but his point still stood. 

 

Once Mickey was completely dressed, he looked over to Mandy to see if she wanted to come with him, but she was still laying on her stomach, arms folded and tucked under her pillow, face turned away from her brother so all he could see was really the mess of her black hair spread out all over the place. 

 

The soft breaths coming from her side of the tent let him know that she was still very much asleep, and he knew that if he woke her up she would be even nastier than even he would ever have the energy to be. So instead, he pushed his glasses further up onto the bridge of his nose, and he reached for his worn out, dirty old chucks that were laying on his duffel bag, quickly slipping them onto his bare feet before getting up onto his knees and unzipping the tent. 

 

As soon as Mickey didn't have the blue canvas in between him and the outside world anymore, he begun regretting this entire thing even more than he already was. The sun was even hotter and brighter like this, and quite frankly, his head was screaming - most likely with the lack of caffeine but he supposed that he would probably be able to get a hold of some later, one way or another. He placed his right foot onto the ground, getting out of the tent and then turning around to zip it back up, leaving his sister to get a few more hours of sleep. 

 

“Hey” 

 

***

 

Ian swallowed, some sleep still trudging throughout his veins as the ground crunched beneath his feet, the morning sun already beating down over the campsite, the singing of the early birds blending together with the screaming of the crows in the distance, and Ian couldn’t decide which sound the liked the best. He made his way down the skinny gravel road, coming back from having picked up the three extra life jackets that they needed for the summer - apparently Dave had miscounted the children, but thankfully since this was a camp that went on every single year, most of the people living around here knew about it and they were very friendly, one of them allowing Ian to borrow a couple more. 

 

One of his many white v necks were hung over Ian’s torso, keeping him the coolest he could possibly be in clothes in this weather - which wasn’t very. He had only been up for about an hour, but he could already feel the fabric start to cling to his abs; he wasn’t all too sure if this was one of the hottest summers ever, or if it was always like this and his brain just blocked it out.

 

It was as if everything was foggy and he was pretty sure that you would be able to fry a hamburger on the roof of the tents. Which was undoubtedly a vast exaggeration, but his point stood nonetheless. The same pair of green shorts that he wore yesterday hung low on his hips, the the soft sponge of his flip flops hit the gravel over and over again, the tiny rocks crunching along with the sand. 

 

Right as he made a left into the woods and towards the area where the tents were standing, Ian brought his free hand up to his head, rubbing the back of his neck a little bit, feeling the short red hairs prick his palm; he had been told that he looked better with the hair but in a summer heat like this he didn’t give a fuck to honest - he wasn’t sure how people with long hair even survived. To him there was a tremendous difference between how hot he got when he had hair on his head versus when he didn’t. But maybe that was just him, he didn’t know. The life jackets dangled from Ian’s free hand and he had his gaze lazily focused ahead as he walked towards the tent collection, stopping abruptly. 

 

There he was; getting out of his tent. Mickey. Ian wasn’t sure how pathetic he was on a scale of one to - well, a thousand would probably suffice. The second he had laid eyes on Mickey twenty four hours ago - probably even a little bit less - he had been stuck, and with every single minute that had passed since then, his crush only seemed to grow more and more.

 

There was just something about him, and Ian wasn’t all too sure what it was. Sure, with the muscular arms and perfectly arched eyebrows, he was attractive. The glasses and the thick lips even made him cute, but it was more than that. There was something else that Ian couldn’t quite put his finger on - something that made Mickey different from just some random hot guy. 

 

Ian knew that it was creepy to just stand a few meters away and watch him, so it only took a second or two before he collected himself, walking closer right as Mickey zipped his tent and stood up. 

 

“Hey” Ian said, surprised at how strong and sure his voice sounded because the truth was that the more attracted he became to Mickey, the more unsure he became around him. What to say and what to do to make sure that he was being friendly but that he wouldn’t let Mickey in on the fact that he thought he was hot as fuck. At Ian’s voice, Mickey stood up a little bit straighter, seemingly surprised by the sound. Then he turned around to face him and Ian’s throat got - if possible - tighter. If it was possible for somebody to become even hotter from one day to another, that’s what had happened. 

 

Mickey’s face was slightly puffy with sleep - not too different from Ian’s, he would imagine - his lips were slightly parted, eyes tired as he pushed his glasses up a little further onto the bridge of his nose. Somehow, from the neck up, Mickey was nothing short of adorable. The black hair was a little bit messier than it had been last night, obviously slept on. The blue eyes were a little bit brighter.

 

But from the neck down, Mickey wasn’t cute. He was just flat out hot as fuck - hot in a way that made Ian pray to god that his cock wouldn’t pick up on it. The shirt Mickey was wearing was somehow even hotter than the white t shirt he had had on yesterday. This one was a dark blue, and it didn’t have any sleeves on it, leaving the pale, muscular arms completely exposed. The fabric had to be really fucking thin, because Ian thought that he could almost make out Mickey’s abs through the cotton, the pale color of his skin peeking through. 

 

Ian physically had to force himself to look away to make sure that he wouldn’t enter creepy staring territory. 

 

***

 

“Hey, man. You alright?” Mickey asked, the question sounding surprisingly normal and steady despite the fact that his heart was racing. He had asked Ian whether he was alright due to the fact that he thought that maybe he had caught him staring at his chest - he couldn’t really have been checking Mickey out, though. Mickey wasn’t that lucky, surely he had only been lost in thought or something. 

 

Then again, he supposed that it was somewhat possible. He pushed his glasses further up his nose before crossing his arms over his chest, his throat going all dry as he waited for an answer. He wasn’t all too sure what it was about this guy that made his body react like this - made his heart speed up, made his knees was to collapse and made his brain all foggy, just from being in the same general area as Ian. That couldn’t be normal - especially not with somebody that you had met for the first time all of twenty four hours ago. Yet, he didn’t seem to be able to stop it what so ever. 

 

“Fine. Sorry” Ian nodded, their eyes connecting. Through the meters in between them, Mickey could just barely make out the fact that Ian’s were green. Kind of a beautiful color - and Mickey was pretty sure that he had never once looked into somebody’s fucking eyes and labeled them as beautiful before. What the actual fuck was happening? He normally wasn’t one to get crushes - at all - and certainly not like this. 

 

“We gonna do something with those?” Mickey broke the semi-uncomfortable silence in between them with another question, and Ian looked confused for a second or two before the shorter man gestured to the life jackets dangling off of a few fingers on his right hand. 

 

“Uh, yeah. We didn’t have enough so I borrowed a couple” Ian explained, looking down at the orange objects before lifting his head again, their eyes falling back onto each other’s. Mickey swallowed, wishing that he knew how to stop his body from reacting the way it did. It would be a lot easier to find out how to deal with this if he knew that Ian wasn’t gay. 

 

Or that he was - either one would be better than being in this stage of his body freaking out, heart throbbing while he worried that he might somehow expose himself because right now he was really fucking struggling to keep his gaze on Ian’s and not let his eyes fall onto his torso where he just fucking knew that the heat was making the thin white fabric stick to his abs, making this guy a hundred times hotter than he would be otherwise - if that was even possible. It was truly incredibly distracting. 

 

“We always go canoeing on the first morning. I was just gonna head down to the water and make sure everything is set up. You want to come?” Ian’s words were just a tiny bit rushed, and Mickey shouldn’t shake the feeling that he sounded just as nervous as he felt himself - it made him think that maybe, just maybe - they were in the same boat right now. No pun intended. Then again, he wouldn’t bet on it. 

 

“Yeah” Mickey’s head moved up and down once or twice as he pushed his glasses further up his nose. He thought that maybe Ian’s eyes stayed on him for a second longer than what was necessary, but before he could really let that thought go much further, Ian had parroted his act of nodding a couple of times, and then he turned around and started walking down towards the lake, leaving Mickey to follow. 

 

A few meters were in between the teenagers, the ground crunching beneath their feet, the sun burning down over the campsite. Since Ian was walking ahead and there was no way for him to see what Mickey was doing, Mickey’s gaze landed on his back. He looked so fucking perfect; perfect in a way that brought the word to a whole new definition. The thin, white fabric of his v neck stuck to his skin, highlighting the muscles as they moved with him. His arms were hanging relaxed by his sides, yet somehow Mickey could clearly see the shape of his biceps, the pale skin curling around the muscles. Mickey’s mouth was completely dry, and he wished that he knew how to stop this - how to stop wanting to feel Ian’s abs under his open palm, how to stop wanting to press his lips to the back of his neck. 

 

Mickey was a seventeen year old boy - of course he had felt sexual attraction before - but not like this. 

 

***

 

Ian’s eyes were shut as he followed the short, sloped trail down towards the water, hearing the steps of Mickey following. He should never have asked him to follow him down to the lake, there was no possible way that he would ever be able to focus on a task in his presence. What the fuck was it about this guy that had him so screwed up anyway? Everything was his first, best and only guess to be honest. He was also pretty sure that he had stared a little bit more than he should have, so it was more than possible that Mickey was starting to figure things out which just made things worse.

 

What if Mickey wasn’t gay? Or worse - what if he was and he was taken already? Ian wasn’t sure how he would be able to handle the second possibility, were that to be the case. All he wanted right now was to turn around and kiss him - but that was ludicrous, since they had barely said ten words to one another, so instead Ian just kept walking, doing his best to make his heart slow down. 

 

***

 

Once the teenagers got down to the water a minute or two later, neither of them really said much. Mickey couldn’t tell if it was an awkward silence or not - maybe just tense, but he couldn’t put his finger on whether it was tense in a good way or a bad way either. It didn’t feel all too weird - but then again, it was only seven in the morning so he supposed that it would have been kind of strange for them to have the energy to talk a lot. 

 

Ian and Mickey started counting the canoes and the paddles, lining them up on the sand so that everything would be good to go in an hour or so when the kids would start to wake up. The sun continued beating down onto their shoulders, both of them feeling it even more now that they didn’t have any trees above them what so ever. Mickey felt as if his skin was literally melting off and for a few minutes, it was difficult to focus on anything but that heat and the way in which he was pretty sure that he was starting to get a pretty bad sunburn on his arms and legs.

 

Ian and Mickey were both moving around a lot, tugging at canoes and lifting paddles and walking around and counting everything to make sure that nothing was missing at all - so by the time they were starting to finish, Mickey’s shirt was glued to his body - not kind of glued or somewhat getting stuck on his stomach once in a while - it was glued. And he was pretty sure that the sun was only becoming hotter and hotter with every single second that passed. What the fuck was even this shit. 

 

As Ian dragged one of the last canoes into place, Mickey’s throat went dry again and he forgot all about his own literal hotness and instead focused on Ian’s attractive one. With the way in which his pale, freckled skin was curling around his biceps, he didn’t have much of a choice - a thin layer of sweat covered him, making his body shine a little bit, and Mickey couldn’t imagine that he looked all that different himself; the sun did a good fucking job of making life miserable.

 

Ian was currently a little bit too busy to look up - thank god - so Mickey took another moment to just watch him, not knowing how to stop. It wasn’t a good idea to think about having Ian, and the raven-haired teenager knew this - the chance that Ian was gay wasn’t all that large, and even if he was, there was no guarantee that he would want Mickey. 

 

But then Mickey remembered that - or maybe those - moments up in the woods before they had come down here. He wasn’t sure if he had imagined it or not, that was surely a possibility, but he did think that maybe he had seen Ian’s gaze linger on his chest for a little bit longer than what was absolutely necessary. Almost as if they were acting the same around each other. Mickey, though, was far from ballsy enough to bring it up - at least right now. So he kept his mouth shut and he continued working under the beating sun. 

 

***

 

During the next few hours of the day, Ian and Mickey didn’t really have a chance to talk any more. Soon after they were finished setting up the canoes, the kids woke up and Dave, Mandy and the other counselors with them. It was just about twice as many children as there were adults, and some of them Ian felt would be better suited being called hurricanes rather than kids, so all of them kind of had their hands full, leaving little space inside of Ian’s brain to think about his crush. 

 

At least for an hour or so. A little while after the breakfast was eaten, all of them were down by the lake and Ian was sitting on his knees by one of the canoes, teaching two of the younger kids exactly how to sit in the little boat as to not tip over. No one was in the water just yet, as some small amount of training was expected from the adults before they let the kids out into the lake. 

 

Ian had hoped that the sun would relax at some point during the day, but nobody seemed to be obeying his wishes, so he was trapped, his clothes starting to cling to his body in a way that made things extremely uncomfortable, his throat dry with his thirst - he couldn’t imagine that anybody else around him was feeling any better, but nobody really had much of a choice; they just all had to deal with it. 

 

“You know, sometimes my daddy takes me out on a boat, and mommy comes. And we go fishing” The little boy in the front part of the canoe informed Ian. His brown skin and the shape of his face reminded him a little bit of Liam - except for course that this boy was quite a few years older - and Ian had to admit that he took a tiny stab to the heart - just a little one. He could deal with being away from Fiona and Lip without a problem, but his younger siblings were much cuter, and he missed them a lot when he was forced to spend a few weeks away from home. 

 

“Oh, yeah? Do you have fun then?” Ian asked, a kind smile on his face as he reached forwards, gently correcting the way the boy was holding the paddle, making sure that it was in the right position. Then he let go, for some reason looking up and out over all of the other people in the group; the canoes weren’t quite as perfectly lined up anymore, but gathered in more of a messy circle than a row. Ian felt as if people were everywhere, yet his eyes fell on the canoe that was the furthest away from him - well, not so much the canoe as one of the people helping the children inside of it. 

 

***

 

Mandy was sitting with her back to most of the people, her brother on the other side of the red canoe. Her black hair was collected up into a ponytail, some of the black strands of her bangs being glued to her forehead thanks to the heat. She had tried to put on eyeliner this morning, but had quite quickly realized that it wouldn’t do much good, so her face was left completely free of makeup, her nose-ring sitting safely in its place. She had her regular pair of shorts on, along with a white tank top that ended right below her belly-button, leaving her properly dressed for the kids sake, but at the same time she didn’t feel as if her skin was about to melt off of her body - well, she did. They all did. But it could have been worse was her point. 

 

Since Mandy was busy talking to the little girl in the back of the canoe, Mickey could look up without her noticing. Ian was sitting quite far away from the two of them, a lot of people in between them; he was talking, smiling at a little boy as he helped him with his paddle. It was quite adorable - watching him interact with kids even though Mickey had no way to know what they were saying. The corner’s of Mickey’s mouth went up, and right then - for some reason - Ian looked up as well. 

 

Their eyes connected, and for a moment nothing happened at all. Then Ian smiled; mouth closed, but it was there. A large, kind smile. It didn’t take many seconds before Mickey mirrored it, his stomach stirring. Almost as if they were sharing some kind of secret.

 

***

 

“You do this shit every summer?” Mickey asked as he stepped over the log, sitting down onto it. The darkness had since long fallen, the large fire in the middle of camp still going strong despite the fact that Ian and Mickey were the only ones who hadn’t headed into their tents for the night. 

 

Since that silent moment down by the lake, things felt lighter in between them. Ian couldn’t quite put his finger on why that, was, though - neither of them had said a word about it. But he did know that his feelings for Mickey - attraction for, whatever - were only growing and if Mickey didn’t feel the same way, then he was completely fucking screwed. Ian’s gaze was focused on the rocks making up the fire pit as he saw Mickey in his peripheral vision, sitting down. 

 

There were four long logs, making up a square around the fire for people to sit down on, and both teenagers were currently placed in one of the corners, each on different logs so when Mickey sat down, their bare knees bumped a little bit. The sun was gone for the night, and left around them was the somewhat cool night air along with the sound of some crickets and the crackling fire. Despite the barely there chill, as soon as Ian’s skin touched Mickey’s, he could feel his entire body get some kind of a shock; his stomach turning in a way that he had never really felt it do before. A good way. 

 

“Yeah” Ian responded to Mickey’s question, braving a look up. The blue eyes were already looking at him, the fire casting beautiful shadows over his face; the sight was one that made his throat grow a little bit tighter by the second. “The past years it’s been more fun, though. Not as hot, and two of my best friends usually come” Mickey’s head moved up and down a time or two in understanding, their eyes still on each other’s. “Do you go to school, by the way? I haven’t seen you” Ian avoided pointing out the fact that he was sure that Mickey didn’t go to school, because there was no possible way that he would have missed such a beautiful human being. 

 

“Nah, we just moved. Starting next semester” Was all Mickey said to that, and it was Ian’s turn to nod. Mickey brought his right hand up to his face, pushing at his glasses.

 

“That’s really cute” The words were out of Ian’s mouth before he knew what the fuck he was saying, and his throat immediately dried out. Still, he forced himself to swallow and look as confident as he possibly could - as if he had meant to tell a possibly straight guy that something he did was cute. Idiot. Then Ian stopped beating himself up about it, though - because though Mickey’s brows furrowed in confusion, a smile also developed on his lips. “The thing you do with your glasses, when you push them up. It’s cute” Ian clarified, and he couldn’t help but gnaw a little bit on the inside of his bottom lip as he waited for a reaction. Mickey just swallowed visibly, saying nothing. 

 

Something shifted in between them with Ian’s comment; and right there in front of that fire, while they were in the middle of the woods, in the middle of the night and somehow in the middle of their own world - Ian couldn’t help himself. So before he could really overthink it, he eased himself forwards a little bit and captured Mickey’s lips in between his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think that I've ever had them kiss this early on before, but like I've said, this story isn't really all too much about them falling in love to begin with. I hope that you guys liked this chapter! <3 
> 
>  
> 
> [{Come say hello because I'm very lonely}](http://anothergallavichlove.tumblr.com/)


	3. Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were crushing way too hard on each other, and they were too wrapped up in it all. Too wrapped up in this moment, this tent. This night.

The searing, yet somehow innocent kiss lasted for about a second before Ian pulled away again, just enough that they could look into each other’s eyes, blinking as they stayed quiet, their hearts thrumming against their ribcages. The crickets continued screaming around them in the night, the fire crackling, casting shadows over both teenagers’ faces, making the colors of their eyes all that more opaque. A heavy breath escaped Mickey’s lips, the skin burning from the quick, temporary touch to Ian’s. His head was spinning like a race car - or maybe it was completely blank, he couldn’t tell. Either way, Ian had kissed him. Ian had fucking kissed him; the guy that he had practically been panting over for two days straight wanted him - he had kissed Mickey and he had chosen the best possible time to do so. And Mickey had thought that he wouldn’t be able to become any more crazy about this guy. He had been wrong. Now his entire body was burning; wanting. 

 

That’s when he realized that he had been still and quiet for a little bit longer than he should have been. Ian’s eyes were no longer filled with foolishness and happiness - fondness. Instead he looked a little bit nervous as he kept his face quite close to Mickey’s, waiting for a reaction while surely being terrified that he had screwed everything up. Ian swallowed visibly, bringing his right hand up to Mickey’s face, pushing his glasses up a little bit, almost as if he was trying to figure out how the other boy was feeling. At the act, Mickey finally snapped out of his daze, a grin being spread out over his face as he placed his hand on the back of Ian’s neck, crashing their lips back together. The short, red hairs ticked his cupped palm, and a low hum sounded in the base of Ian’s throat, both pairs of eyes closed while they leaned into each other, completely off in their own world. 

 

Their knees were locked in between one another’s, Ian’s left arm curled around Mickey’s waist while his there one rested lightly on the side of his neck. Because of how they were sitting, it became a little bit of an awkward angle, but for the second they couldn’t really bring themselves to care, because they were kissing. They had both been obsessing about the other one for almost forty eight hours straight, and for two horny teenage boys, that was a long fucking time. So they continued nipping at each other’s lips, Mickey’s soft fingertips digging into the back of Ian’s neck in an attempt to bring him just a little bit deeper. As soon as he felt something warm swipe across his lips, he immediately opened his mouth, willingly letting Ian slide his tongue in. 

 

Both of the muscles tangled together, struggling for dominance while heaps of their saliva mixed together in the heated kiss, the fire and the crickets continuing to sing their background music, making the moment all that more perfect. Mickey sighed into Ian’s mouth, the kiss way too amazing for him not to - everything about this night was too amazing. Not only did Ian want him, but judging by the way his tongue was being shoved deep into Mickey’s mouth, the way his fingertips dug into his waist, he was just as desperate for him as Mickey was for him. 

 

Soon, the kiss grew even deeper, and Mickey started to become annoyed with the awkward angle, wanting more. His lips continued nipping at Ian’s, their tongues practically shoved down each other’s throats as he eased the grip on the other boys’ neck, sliding his arm further so that the short, red strands of hair tickled the fold of his arm, tugging them closer together while he lifted himself off of the log just a little bit. Ian immediately seemed to get the hint, deepening the kiss as he let go of Mickey’s waist and moved his hands down to his thighs, pulling him to straddle his lap. 

 

Mickey’s knees laid against the log on either side of Ian, and he placed his left hand on the collar of Ian’s shirt, dragging the thin fabric with him as he curled it into a fist, his head spinning with the sweet, perfect taste of Ian. Yesterday and earlier today, Mickey had felt something in his stomach that he had never felt before - the way his heart seemed to both stop and speed up around Ian at the same time, and the way he sometimes got completely distracted by the smallest thing about this guy. But now - as they were kissing, hands all over each other - Mickey could with complete certainty say that this was something special. Maybe it was just the fact that he was a horny seventeen year old, but that didn’t change the fact that in this very moment, all he wanted was to press pause and live in it forever. 

 

Ian had his right arm curled around Mickey’s waist again, his other hand tenderly placed against the side of his neck, the kiss continuing as passionately as ever, saliva being spread out a little bit outside of their lips, the occasional hum sounding in between them, neither ever sure who it came from and it didn’t matter. The fire crackled, blending together with the desperate sound of their lips sucking on each other’s, their hands grabbing at each other’s skin wherever they could. 

 

“Tent?” Ian managed to breathe into Mickey’s mouth, unable to keep himself from going in for more so that Mickey could answer. Instead the kiss deepened, even more desperate than before, their hot tongues sliding over each other, wanting to taste everything. Wanting to feel everything. Finally, a few moments after the mumbled word, Mickey managed to hum his agreement and they slowed down just a little bit, Ian pressing two more deep kisses to the shorter man’s perfect lips before they finally broke it completely. 

 

Mickey unwrapped his arms from around Ian’s neck and eased off of his lap, getting up onto his feet so that they would be able to move towards the tent. Ian got up as well, unable to keep himself from placing his hands back onto either side of Mickey’s neck, dipping his head just a little bit so that he could press their lips together once more, shoving his tongue deep down into his mouth. Mickey hummed, leaning into it, his hands falling onto the slightly taller man’s waist, bunching the thin, white fabric up into his fists while they explored each other’s mouths, struggling to gather up the self control to pull apart for the five, then seconds they would need to get to an area where they would actually be able to shed their clothes. 

 

Ian’s lips were nothing but pure and completely unadulterated magic when applied to Mickey’s. It was the kind of feeling that he would never have believed existed until just now. That burning sensation spreading throughout his veins, that ripping need to just have him. He slid his hands further, wrapping his arms around Ian’s waist, his glasses bumping the bridge of his nose a little bit as they pulled apart and changed the angle, their tongues tightly pressed together, erections quickly growing in a way that they wouldn’t be able to ignore for all that much longer now. 

 

Finally, Mickey was the one to unwrap his arms from around Ian’s waist, placing his palms onto his clothed chest again and passing some pressure, pushing him towards his tent. A low hum sounded in the very base of Ian’s throat, their lips still locked together, his hands staying on Mickey’s neck as both teenage boys stumbled towards Ian’s tent. It was a little bit of a struggle to get over the log while they were tangled together, so ultimately they were forced to break the kiss for the few seconds it took to get them both to and into the tent. Ian was quick to bend over and unzip it, and in Mickey’s hazey, lust-filled state of mind he found it difficult to keep from grabbing his ass. He settled for biting his bottom lip as he waited. Once the tent was open, Ian turned around and got down onto the ground, moving inside of the tent; Mickey following. 

 

Mickey turned around, closing the tent again while they kicked off their shoes. Then they were finally alone - free to do whatever the fuck they pleased with each other. The soft floor made up out of a sleeping bag and what looked like tons of different covers and blankets made it easy, too - it was cozy, somehow. And they had hours and hours ahead of them. The thought alone was enough to get Mickey to his full hardness. Ian had his own bottom lip trapped between his teeth as they looked at each other through the small, dark tent. The green eyes glittered with something - maybe it was desperation, or maybe it was just amazement. Fondness. For a moment, they just looked at each other, catching their breaths from the heavy makeout session. Then - fucking finally - Ian reached forwards, wrapping his hands securely around Mickey’s thighs, pushing the fabric of the surfer shorts up just a little bit so that he could feel the soft, perfect flesh in his palms as he pulled him closer, urging him to straddle his thighs once again. 

 

Mickey hummed in relief, crashing their lips together again. The blankets felt a fuck of a lot better under his knees, and in this position, their boners also rested a lot closer together, almost touching through the four layers of clothing, the fabric nothing but a fucking burden with how much they wanted each other right now. Ian’s fingertips dug into the pale flesh of Mickey’s thighs, a few inches below his ass as both of their eyes were closed, their clumsy and inexperienced tongues sliding over each other. Mickey placed his hands back onto the back of Ian’s head, feeling the short, red hairs tickle his palm. Not a single sound filled the tent save for the slight rassling of the sleeping bag underneath them and the smacking, breathy, desperate sounds of their kissing. 

 

Soon, Ian slowly eased himself backwards, Mickey helping him by laying some weight onto his chest. The shorter man straightened his legs out, tangling them together with Ian’s as he felt the large hands roughly grab at his ass, pressing him down, rubbing their crotches together. A low moan rang in the base of Mickey’s throat at the friction, and Ian swallowed it. 

 

“You’re so fucking hot, Mickey. I want everything” Mickey hummed, pressing himself down against Ian’s cock again, feeling the growing length against his own, his entire body thrumming in high gear. Everything. Fuck, he wanted that too. He let his hands leave Ian’s neck, sliding down his chest and towards his hips. At the touch, Ian started kneading Mickey’s ass with a little bit more force, easing them both out of the kiss for a moment so that he could nip at his bottom lip before going in for even more, shoving his tongue down his lover’s throat. A low whine escaped Mickey’s mouth, and the taller man swallowed it, the kiss continuing even deeper than before as Mickey slid his hands up Ian’s shirt, feeling the perfect, warm abs underneath his palm, thirsting to have his bare torso pressed against his own. 

 

Ian moaned into his mouth at the soft touch, continuing to knead Mickey’s ass, pressing him down against his cock once again, wanting even more. Mickey continued to slide his hands up and down Ian’s chest, and finally he seemed to get the hint. A small moan of surprise escaped Mickey’s throat as Ian rolled them over, but he swallowed it easily before breaking the kiss, straightening up to peel the thin, white t shirt off of his body before throwing it to the side. His knees rested on either side of Mickey’s hips, straddling him while he did so, but then he laid back down on top of his lover, crashing their wanting lips to each other’s once again, the kiss greedier than ever before as their kneading hands traveled all over each other’s bodies, moans and groans being swallowed, both pairs of eyes closed while they just leaned in, completely giving themselves to one another. 

 

Mickey’s left arm was wrapped around the lower part of Ian’s torso, his flat palm resting right above the waistband of his shorts as he kept his right one cupped around the back of his head, pressing him down, making the kiss as deep as it could possibly be. This moment was nothing short of perfect and they both knew it. Maybe that was strange - that in the middle of the woods two days after they had met could be the perfect moment for them to have sex for the first time - but it just was. It felt like… them. Despite the fact that they couldn’t be sure who they were together just quite yet. 

 

When they had rolled over and switched positions, Ian’s hands had ended up resting on Mickey’s chest, and now the shorter man was starting to feel him tugging at the thin blue fabric, almost frantically, wanting to have it out of the way. Mickey hummed, forcing himself to sit up a little bit, lift his back off of the blankets just enough that Ian would be able to peel the muscle tee off of his body, letting it join his own shirt in the corner of the tent. The kiss broke only for the half a second it took for the piece of clothing to pass their faces, and then they were back on each other once again, both of them laying down on top of the covers and blankets, completely and utterly desperate to have each other. Their lips were swollen, starting to ache with all of the kissing, but neither of them cared. They hadn’t even gotten started with this night yet, and they both knew it. 

 

Mickey’s glasses would bump Ian’s nose or forehead every now and then, and it did nothing but make the taller man’s cock grow even harder. He wasn’t all that sure why that was - he had never once had a thing for glasses before. But something about the way Mickey wore them made it one of the hottest things about him. The rest of Mickey was so hardcore - the letters on his chuckles, the way he crossed his muscular arms. But those thick glasses, just… fuck. 

 

“I want you so fucking bad, I - “ Their bare chests were pressed together, Ian’s husky, mumbled words being poured into Mickey’s mouth as they continued kissing, nipping at each other’s lips, completely and utterly desperate for the other man. Saliva was by now blended and spread out all the way up to their noses and down to their chins, but neither teenager could bring themselves to care. In this very moment, not one thing mattered other than this. Them. Mickey lifted his legs up, wrapping them around Ian and pressing a little bit. Ian followed with, rolling into Mickey as if they were already fucking, grinding their cocks together to create even more friction. Mickey completely melted into Ian’s touch, certain that he had never wanted anything or anybody as much as he wanted Ian in this very moment. 

 

Mickey still wasn’t sure why, what it was about Ian - but maybe that was the magic of it all. 

 

The kiss continued deepening, their tongues sliding over each other, more want and desperation in between them than either would have thought possible. Ian continued rocking against Mickey, both of them already panting a little bit into each other’s mouths as he gently slid his hands down his body until he reached his shorts, curling his fingers around the waistband. Ian swallowed Mickey’s grunt of desperation, right as his legs were unwrapped from around his waist; Mickey lifted his hips off of the blankets just enough so that Ian would be able to pull his surfer shorts down and throw them to the side, their mouths never leaving each other’s as Mickey was left in nothing but his boxers. Ian laid back down on top of Mickey, but the raven-haired man didn’t give him time to completely melt back into the kiss before he slid his hand down a little bit further, impatiently yanking at the waistband of Ian’s own green shorts, reminding him that they should be off too. 

 

Ian hummed, reaching down, all of their fingers tangling together as they pushed the green shorts down, Mickey throwing them to the side as well, the kiss only growing deeper and more frantic by the second; their lips were really starting to become exhausted now, not wanting to play the game but neither of them gave a shit about it. They were crushing way too hard on each other, and they were too wrapped up in it all. Too wrapped up in this moment, this tent. This night. Ian tried to deepen the kiss even a little bit more, the inside of his bottom lip sliding up all the way from Mickey’s chin, leaving a large trail of saliva. Mickey moaned into it, closing his legs back around Ian’s waist, lifting his hips a little bit, silently begging for some more friction; which Ian gladly gave to him, rolling his hips once again, their moans and grunts blending together into one hot mess. 

 

Then Ian broke the kiss, a whine falling out from in between Mickey’s lips at the loss; that was cut short, though when Ian moved his head a little bit, pressing his lips to the underside of his jaw, pressing a deep and wet kiss that was sure to leave a hickey that Mickey would have some trouble covering up in the morning. It wasn't as if either of the teenagers could possibly bring themselves to care about such a thing now, though. No fucking way they were holding anything back. Soft, beautiful moans escaped Mickey’s mouth while Ian continued rolling his hips now and then, their cotton covered erections grinding together as the raven-haired man tilted his neck back, his glasses ending up a little bit to the side with all of the movements. His eyes were clenched shut, his entire body buzzing; feeling like the crickets that were still singing outside of the tent. 

 

Ian’s warm mouth continued nibbling, eating at Mickey’s skin, Mickey’s right hand cupped around the back of his neck, keeping him there. Wanting the mark that would prove that he was with Ian. His throat was starting to become a little bit dry, his boxers soaked with precome. Though, with how close they were, he couldn’t tell if it was his own or if it was Ian’s - he would bet both. 

 

“You’re gonna look so fucking good taking my cock, fuck” Ian finally pulled away from Mickey’s jaw for long enough to mumble into the dark tent before he lifted his head, capturing Mickey’s lips back in between his own, rolling his hips into his lover. Mickey grunted at the words and the touch, tightening his legs around Ian’s waist, but then he forced himself to break the kiss, placing a hand onto Ian’s shoulder as they looked up at each other. He knew that he had to do this - he didn’t want to - but it would be really stupid not to. “What?” Ian asked, out of break as he frowned down at the flushed, beautiful man underneath him. Mickey’s tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip and then it was out there; 

 

“I’ve never - look, I’m a fucking virgin, alright? So just - go easy” For a second, they just looked at each other; Ian’s eyes filled with surprise while Mickey was just scared that this would change things. Just because this was the first time he would have a cock shoved up his ass, that didn’t mean that he wanted to be treated like a fourteen year old girl or some shit. He didn’t want Ian to acknowledge it all that much. “That change shit for you or whatever?” Mickey finally felt forced to ask, but Ian immediately shook his head, placing his right hand onto the side of his lover’s neck, his thumb resting on his chin as they continued looking into each other’s eyes. 

 

“No. It’s fine, Mickey. I’m just - in that case, are you - “

 

“If you ask me if I’m sure, I’mma kick your fucking ass” One happy chuckle escaped Ian’s mouth at the words, and then he went back in, both boys’ stomachs turning at the feeling on having their tongues in each other’s mouths, bodies pressed together. They pulled apart, Mickey tugging Ian’s bottom lip in between his teeth before letting it go with a plop and then deepening the kiss, sliding his tongue over the teeth mark to soothe the pinch. Ian hummed. The kiss continued while Mickey slowly brought his right hand up to his face, on his way to removing his glasses, feeling them start to annoy him a little bit. At that Ian broke away from the kiss, though, shaking his head slightly as his palms sat flat on the ground on either side of Mickey’s shoulders, keeping him from crushing him with his body weight as they looked into each other’s eyes. 

 

“No” Ian said, and Mickey’s eyebrows furrowed. “Keep them on. Fucking hot” The glimmer in Ian’s green eyes was enough for it to become Mickey’s turn to chuckle; the noise was muffled as he let go of his glasses and left them on his face in favor of placing his hands onto the back of Ian’s neck once again, tugging him down for another kiss. Ian hummed into it, both pairs of eyes falling closed while they melted into each other, their bodies tingling as their tongues slid over each other; molding into one. Ian swallowed Mickey’s soft moans as he slowly slid his hands down his soft chest, his hips stopping their movements so that he could hook his fingers into the waistband of his boxers, tugging them down over his ass. Mickey lifted his hips, making it easier as he kiss broke, Ian moving down his body a little bit so that he could remove the piece of clothing entirely. Then he quickly did the same for himself, if only to get rid of the pressure that was starting to hurt his cock a little bit. 

 

Mickey tilted his neck backwards once the fabric disappeared from his straining erection, his eyes falling closed with the ever so slight breeze of being out of his boxers. The pink tip of his cock rested just a little bit below his bellybutton, quickly creating a small pool of precome already. After a second, he collected himself and opened his eyes, lifting his head a little bit right as Ian climbed back up his body; at that point he caught a glimpse of Ian’s own cock, his throat drying out at the sight. Though, he wasn’t sure if it was because it was so fucking huge and monster looking or if it was because he wanted it inside of him so fucking badly despite that fact - once again, he guessed both. Ian surged down again, Mickey placing his hands on his back as both pairs of eyes fell closed, the makeout session continuing for a little bit. Kissing Ian made Mickey feel something that he wouldn’t be able to verbally describe no matter how many chances he got. In the past half hour or so, they had kissed and kissed and kissed, and with every single time that one of them hummed or went in for more, Mickey felt it. That turning in his stomach, that tearing on his heart and that throbbing in his veins that started in his toes and went all the way to the top of his scalp. 

 

In the middle of their kiss, Mickey lifted his right hand off of the small of Ian’s back and brought it down in between them. He just wanted to feel it; he wanted to know what his ass would have to take at some point tonight. As soon as he wrapped his hand around Ian’s cock, a hot sigh of pleasure hit his tongue, Ian’s frame becoming just a little bit heavier on top of his own. He slowly started stroking him, moving his fist up and down his tall cock at a slow pace, reveling in how fucking thick and heavy it felt. 

 

“If you want me to fuck you, you’re gonna have to stop that. Fuck” Ian breathed, his body thrumming in pleasure. Mickey let out a small whine, but let go as the kiss deepened further, both of them struggling to pull apart so that they could get on with their night; kissing felt too fucking good. Too right. Ian was the one who finally gathered up the strength, breaking the kiss with one last peck delivered to Mickey’s jawline before he heaved himself back up onto his hands, hovering a little bit over Mickey. Mickey turned his head to his left, watching him reach into his bag and retrieve a clear bottle of lube. When he positioned himself back on top of Mickey, the to-be-bottom had his eyes raised in a silent question. “Don’t give me that fucking look, I’m seventeen. I was gonna spend a lot of nights alone in here” 

 

Mickey did nothing but tug him back down for another kiss, completely unable to get enough of it. Ian hummed, momentarily dropping the little bottle as he melted into it, Mickey’s glasses bumping his nose a little bit. They both felt it, grins appearing on their faces because they both knew that Ian was a complete idiot for being so fucking into those damn glasses. Mickey kept one hand on the back of Ian’s neck, their tongues clumsily sliding over each other, saliva going everywhere while they kissed. He felt Ian move a little, the sound of the cap being popped off of the bottle reaching his ears. 

 

Ian was the one to break the kiss, their eyes slowly blinking open to connect with each other’s; his tongue swiped across his bottom lip, both of their hearts pumping. Mickey couldn’t help but realize how fucking beautiful Ian looked like this - actually there hadn’t been one single moment since he had laid eyes on him that he had been anything but, however, there was something special now. Through the dark tent, neither of them could see all that much, so he could only imagine the flushed tone of his skin. But what he did see was that thing in his eyes - Mickey wasn’t all that sure how to describe it, but it was some kind of glimmer. Something he hadn’t really seen before. Something that was just purely Ian, and something that made him feel safe somehow. 

 

“Spread your legs for me” Ian’s breath hit Mickey’s parted lips, the pad of his left thumb resting on his jawline as the shorter man immediately obeyed, wanting nothing less. His entire body was completely exposed now, laid out for Ian to see and for Ian to touch. The thought along with the view made Ian have to capture his own bottom lip in between his teeth, struggling not to come right then and there. “Look at you. You’re so fucking hot, I can’t believe - “ Ian cut himself off by crashing his lips onto Mickey’s once again, Mickey humming at the words, his head completely spinning with need and affection. 

 

Mickey’s breath hitched a little bit when Ian gently placed a slicked up finger against his puckered rim, massaging it slightly in circular motions to get him used to the feeling. They continued nibbling at each other’s lips, the air filling with nothing but the sound of their kissing and Mickey’s soft, muffed moans which Ian swallowed, keeping him down on the ground as he continued working his hole just a little bit, not quite pressing inside just yet. Mickey’s hands were on the back of his neck, feeling the small red hairs prick his palm as he reveled in every single tiny little detail of this moment, failing to see a way in which it could be any better at all. He had never been one of those people who had wanted their first time to be with someone special or some shit - quite frankly, he probably would have been alright if it had been with somebody who’s name he didn’t know. Whenever he wanted to fuck, then he would lose it - that had always been his mindset. 

 

That said, he was really fucking happy that this was how it was turning out. Maybe he and Ian wouldn’t last long at all, he couldn’t know that. But what he would always be sure of was that he would always have this memory with him. This night and the buzzing in his stomach, the crickets outside. Perfect. Nothing less. 

 

The kiss continued, their tongues messily sliding over each other. Then - finally - Ian eased his finger inside of Mickey. Already, some more moans were starting to escape Mickey’s mouth, Ian swallowing every single one of them as he deepened the kiss even a little bit more, the rim reaching his knuckle before he slid it back out, repeating the act. 

 

“Relax” The word was breathed right against Mickey’s tongue and he sighed, pushing his tongue deeper into Ian’s mouth as he did just that, letting his body lay quite limply on the mattress, all uncomfortableness completely disappearing, and left was only the wonderful feeling of Ian slowly working him open, getting him ready to take his cock. Ian’s free hand still rested against Mickey’s cheek, his sweet tongue exploring his mouth, the act just as wonderful now as it had been the very first time. Both men’s eyes were closed while they melted into one, Ian’s one finger sliding in and out of Mickey at a steady pace, more to get him completely used to the feeling than really stretching him out just yet. “Are you okay with another one?” Ian broke the kiss to ask, blinking down at the man that was currently spread out underneath him. His glasses rested perfectly on his face now, his eyelids covering his eyes, lips slightly parted in pleasure. 

 

“Fuck yes” The two breathed words was all Mickey could possibly give Ian at this point; he wanted it. So bad. His hand was on the back of his neck, fingertips drawing smooth circles in his short hair right as he felt Ian’s finger leave him for a mere second. Then two fingers entered him, the feeling once again slightly uncomfortable as he wasn’t even close to used to it yet. He swallowed, eyebrows furrowing. It was so fucking confusing; on one hand it was really uncomfortable but on the other it was the best experience of his entire life. “Kiss me” Mickey hadn’t even registered the thought before the words were out of his mouth, but Ian obeyed within a fraction of a second, placing their lips back together while he slowly fucked Mickey with the two fingers, working him open slowly but surely. 

 

Their chests were a few inches apart, both teenagers breathing heavily while their tongues slid over each other, their lips nipping at one another’s. Mickey did his best to shove his tongue even a little bit deeper into Ian’s mouth; he wanted everything, as much as he could possibly get. Things had moved incredibly fast in between them, but he couldn’t explain it - he just wanted this, right now. Mickey didn’t know what was going to happen in the fall or even tomorrow. That wasn’t important right now, but this was. This night. Them. After a little while, Mickey felt Ian’s fingers still inside of him, starting to move from side to side instead, stretching him open. 

 

“Feel good?” Ian mumbled his question into the kiss, getting nothing but a low and sure hum in response. He broke the kiss then, placing his lips into the crook of Mickey’s neck instead, the ever so slight tinge of sweat coating his tongue as he sucked in a way that was sure to result in another hickey. His two fingers moved from side to side, pressing at Mickey’s inner walls; his head was spinning at how fucking amazing it felt to have his muscles working around him - and he was only using his fingers so far. He just knew that Mickey’s ass would take his cock so fucking good. Without asking, he pulled out and then eased three of his fingers back into him, going back to just fucking him with them. 

 

Ian continued sucking and eating at Mickey’s neck as he prepared him, and all Mickey could do was tilt his neck backwards, his eyes closed as he enjoyed it, groans of pleasure escaping his lips. His hand rested on the back of Ian’s neck, keeping him locked there, not wanting to let him go just quite yet. His throat was a little bit dry, his lips parted as he focused on nothing but Ian’s fingers inside of him; his weight on top of him and his perfect fucking mouth marking his neck up. 

 

“‘Nuff” Mickey breathed finally; he needed to have Ian’s cock inside of him right this fucking second. He wanted him so fucking bad. He felt Ian press one last kiss to his neck, and then he lifted his head to look down into his eyes right as Mickey blinked his own open. 

 

“Yeah?” Ian breathed, and Mickey nodded, tugging him down for another searing kiss, feeling the fingers slowly ease out of his stretched hole. He winched just a tiny bit at the loss, his glasses bumping the bridge of Ian’s nose as they changed angles, the kiss continuing for another moment or so before Ian pulled away with a sigh. “Fuck. We can’t do this right now” Mickey’s thick eyebrows knitted together into a deep frown, wondering where that came from. 

 

“What the fuck, man?” Ian looked down at him, his tongue swiping across his bottom lip while he shrugged, his entire face screaming in disappointment. 

 

“I don’t have a fucking condom, Mickey” After the statement, he collapsed back on top of Mickey, sighing as his forehead landed on his collarbone; how the fuck he could have been this stupid, he didn’t know. He hadn’t had a single thought of a condom until right this second. Now they were both hornier and more worked up than they had been in their entire lives, and they couldn’t fucking fuck. What even was this shit. 

 

“Let’s just fucking bareback it, man” Mickey breathed; he was well aware of the fact that fucking someone without a condom was one of the stupidest things in the world to do - on the few times that he had bothered to show up to sex ed class, it seemed that that had been mentioned over and over again. But right now, he wasn’t ready to let this moment go, and though they could blow each other or some shit, that wouldn’t actually satisfy their cravings and they both knew that. It would be like having a celery stick when you were craving a fucking big mac. 

 

“Are you serious?” Ian asked, still slightly out of breath from all of the kissing as he lifted his head and looked down at the beautiful man underneath him, both pairs of lips parted. “That’s a really stupid idea” He stated, all the while knowing that it wasn’t very likely that they would end up just walking away from this situation because of a missing piece of rubber. They wanted each other too badly. 

 

“Why, you got something?” Mickey raised his eyebrows, his hands now resting in the middle of Ian’s back, waiting for him to get on with it. Ian just shook his head no. “Then let’s be fucking stupid, man. Just get on me” Ian captured his bottom lip in between his teeth as he considered; it was stupid. Nobody could deny that. But with the quiet crickets and the shy summer rain that was just now starting to fall down onto the roof of the tent, making them feel as if they were completely off in their own world, Ian was considering it. More than considering it, because save for that one detail of the missing condom, he had never in his entire life loved a moment so much. 

 

Mickey’s tongue darted out then, swiping across his bottom lip as he lifted his legs to wrap them around Ian’s hips, urging him to lay down again and get to it - that was it. 

 

“Fuck it; I want you so bad” Ian sighed, giving into the boy underneath him as their lips crashed together, all four of Mickey’s limbs completely wrapped around the taller man’s naked body, wanting him more than he had ever wanted anything in his entire life. Their needy tongues slid across each other, deep into their mouths while the rain picked up just a little bit outside, the smattering onto the tent roof making the moment more perfect with every single second that passed. Ian’s hands rested on either side of Mickey’s neck, his thumbs placed onto his chin for a minute, until he finally lifted his right one, bringing it down in between them so that he could get the lube and slick himself up - amazingly enough doing it all one handed while the kiss continued. 

 

Once he had placed the head of his cock against Mickey’s stretched out hole, he broke the kiss and lifted his head again, both pairs of eyes blinking open. Mickey’s swollen lips were parted, not looking much different from Ian’s own, he would assume. The thick glasses framed blue eyes filled with want and lust, Mickey’s chest moving up and down. The rain picked up just a little bit, and Mickey gave Ian a tiny - barely noticeable - nod, assuring him that he was ready to lose his virginity. Ian swallowed, using his forearms to support himself as he finally pressed inside, making sure to go slow. He wasn’t much further in than the head when Mickey’s eyes fell closed, his eyebrows furrowing together as his teeth captured his bottom lip. 

 

Ian was nowhere if not on fucking cloud nine. Listening to the rain on the roof, seeing Mickey’s beautiful face scrunch up, feeling the perfect way in which his ass accepted his cock, the muscles working around him, his hands curling into fists on Ian’s back as he struggled to get used to the feeling - all of it was perfect. 

 

Mickey swallowed, breathing heavily as he fought to get used to the foreign feeling of having Ian’s cock inside of him. It hurt - it did. Pretty fucking badly. The more Ian pressed, stretching him out, the more it strung, making him dig his teeth deep into his bottom lip. But at the same time, it was the best feeling that he had ever had in his entire life. How fucking close he felt to Ian, and how amazing it felt to have his cock in his ass, stretching him out. His fingers dug into the flesh of Ian’s back, wanting to have him closer. 

 

“You’re doing so good” Ian’s breath hit Mickey’s parted lips, right at Mickey felt a few pubic hairs tickle his ass, letting him know that Ian had bottomed out. “You okay?” He asked then; it took Mickey a minute or two to answer. He was so fucking deep in that daze, lost in the wonderful pain mixed with the pleasure that was already registering with him. 

 

“Fucking great, man” Mickey sighed, not opening his eyes. “Fucking kiss me” Ian immediately obeyed, surging down for a deep kiss, right as he slowly pulled his cock out of Mickey, staying still for a second before rolling back in, grunts clouding the kiss while they moved together, the pace still careful as this was incredibly new for Mickey’s body. The rain continued dripping down onto the roof of the tent, keeping them in their own little world. Their tongue slid surely over each other’s, saliva blending together into a complete mess. 

 

The stinging continued, but it soon became quite easy for Mickey to get used to this feeling and only focus on the pleasure that the man on top of him was providing. He relaxed after a few minutes, kissing Ian while the butterflies continued fluttering throughout his veins, his legs tightening a little bit around Ian’s waist, urging him to speed up just a little bit. The kiss deepened as Ian did just that, the thrusts growing a little bit harder while he went from a slow pace to medium, rolling into Mickey, the teenage boys melting into each other, wanting nothing more and nothing less in this very moment. 

 

Ian kept the kiss going, nipping and tugging at Mickey’s lips now and then while he let his right hand leave his neck, bringing it down to his waist instead, curling his hand around Mickey’s side so that he could have some more leverage to fuck him just a little bit harder. Mickey tightened his own hold around Ian, grunts and moans filling the tent as they moved together, completely lost, off in their own world with each other. Mickey’s glasses bumped the bridge of Ian’s nose, both of their mouths forming grins for a second before they went back to kissing, Ian speeding up just a little bit more. 

 

Granted, they were two seventeen year old boys - and they had engaged in quite a bit of foreplay - , so it didn’t last all that long. Ian soon let go of Mickey’s hip, bringing his hand down to his cock instead, giving him a few good tugs. Within a few minutes, they were both coming. Hands gripping at flesh, lips tugging at lips, moans and grunts filling the tent and blending together with the sound of the rain as Mickey shot his load in between their chests, his eyes clenched closed as pleasure took over him; the feeling only enhanced by Ian’s warm come filling his ass, groans of relief pouring into each other’s mouths as the kiss continued all through it, their sweaty bodies glued together. 

 

Once they were finished, Ian collapsed on top of Mickey, his forehead leaning against his collarbone, his soft cock still inside of him. The tent was quiet again; save for the chattering, muffled rain and the sound of their heavy breathing as they recovered. Then Ian collected himself, pressing a kiss to Mickey’s neck before easing his cock out of him, reaching for his own shirt to wipe up some of the come from in between his legs, then throwing it to the side once again. 

 

Mickey swallowed at the feeling, and Ian ended up being the one to rest his head on his chest as they both felt exhaustion start to overtake their bodies. Mickey had his arm wrapped around his body, his hand resting on his waist, both of them way too hot to bother climbing into the sleeping bag right this second. 

 

They were both quiet while they caught the last of their breaths, and then Ian tilted his head upwards, finding that the blue eyes were already looking at him. For a moment, they said nothing. Did nothing. Then Ian lifted his right hand up to Mickey’s face, pushing his glasses back up a little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not actually regard unprotected sex as a good idea. Ever. This is fiction. I feel as if I always have to make these disclaimers jfc. Wishing you all a great day <3 
> 
> [{Come say hello because I'm very lonely}](http://anothergallavichlove.tumblr.com/)


	4. Surrealism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian may only be seventeen years old, and he was well aware of the fact that the odds of him and Mickey being together in ten years was slim to none - fuck, he wasn’t even sure that they were calling each other boyfriends yet - but so fucking what? Ian was completely crazy about Mickey right now. In this moment. And that had to be what mattered.

One of the very first things that registered with Mickey as he slowly started to awake was the sound of the heavy rain on the roof of the tent, along with the early birds still singing their songs somewhere in the distance despite the seemingly dreary weather. His eyes were shut, but with every second he started to travel further and further out of his unconsciousness, leaving his previously deep sleep behind. He was laying on his left side, the arm closest to the pillow folded so that he could rest his head on it while he slept. Though he didn’t see a reason to rush to completely wake up just yet, he pretty much immediately noticed that he had a lot of energy; he could feel that he had had a night of deep sleep. He could pretty easily guess the reason for that, too.

 

A heavy arm was draped over his waist, spooning him and holding him close as soft, warm and even breaths fanned his neck. Last night was kind of a blur, if Mickey was being honest. It had all gone by so quickly, leaving little to no time to think at all. Ian had just kissed him - surprised the fuck out of him - and then they had been there. Making out and tearing each other’s clothes off only a couple of days after they had first met.

 

It made sense, Mickey supposed, though. They weren't twenty five year old business men or some shit; they were two seventeen yearold boys in the woods in the summer. Though Mickey could remember the big moments - the first kiss, the second that Ian had finally eased into him - he couldn’t remember all of it. It was as if it had been some kind of a hazey dream; surreal.

 

Surreal - that had to be a good word for the events of last night, Mickey decided. For years, he had seen Mandy run in and out of the house, fucking different guys. Of course he had wondered when he was going to lose it, even if he would never have voiced it. He had never really felt stressed, but he supposed that it was somewhat normal to wonder. And now he didn’t have to.

 

Mickey had had sex last night and not only that - it was Ian who had taken his virginity. Ian with the fucking green eyes and mindblowing lips. Mickey couldn’t say that what he felt for Ian was more than a crush - sure, he would like to; he doubted that that word would do his feelings justice - but in the end, he knew that he couldn’t be sure that they wouldn’t burn out. He couldn’t be sure that in a month, this camp wouldn’t be a mere memory and maybe they would only smile at each other from across the cafeteria - if that. Mickey didn’t think so, but he had to admit that all of that was in fact possible.

 

But even so, something inside of him reminded him to enjoy this while it lasted - whether that would be one week or ten years. He wanted to enjoy what they had in this moment and fuck whatever would come their way later on.

 

Almost as if Mickey’s complicated thoughts had somehow reached inside of Ian’s brain, he started waking up just a little bit; he could feel the long, pale arm tighten around his waist before a soft kiss was pressed to the back of his neck.

 

A part of Mickey wanted to fight the smile that was forcing its way onto his lips, but he gave in quite quickly and let it take over, his eyes staying closed as Ian pressed one more peck to his skin, the slight sound of his lips leaving Mickey’s body blending with the chattering of the rain on the tent roof and the quiet birds that were still singing somewhere in the distance.

 

Within seconds, Mickey’s body felt as if it kicked into high gear, the butterflies fluttering around in the base of his gut, every single inch of his body vibrating in a way that he had never once felt before Ian. He curved his neck a little bit towards the pillow, silently asking for more, and thankfully Ian got the hint quite quickly, his lips parting a little bit more right before they met the crook of his neck, his warm tongue sliding out and wetting the area while he sucked on the patch of skin, just hard enough to make things interesting.

 

A low hum sounded in the base of Mickey’s throat, and when Ian laced their fingers together, he didn’t see a reason to fight it, and instead let the comforting weight crowd his palm, that wonderful mouth continuing to nibble at his skin, both teenagers leaning into each other; giving each other to one another. In this moment, they just wanted everything.

 

Neither of them had opened their eyes just yet; for now they just enjoyed living in this moment of warmth, curled together inside of Ian’s tiny sleeping bag while the rain continued falling down onto the dark blue roof of their tent, providing them with some kind of safety. The sound made them feel as if they were in some kind of a bubble together. Their bubble. At least for a few more minutes.

 

It didn’t take very long before Ian’s kisses graduated the lazy morning hickey stage and went straight into marking. His lips started sucking a little bit harder, his teeth grazing over the skin every now and then before his tongue would be added into the mix, sliding over the area to soothe the slight pinch; then it all started over again and all Mickey could do was lay there with his eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed as he wondered how the fuck neck kisses could feel this good. His tongue slid out of his own mouth, wiping across his bottom lip as a soft, lazy moan escaped his throat; Ian’s thumb rubbing smooth and soft circles on the side of his hand while his hips started moving, rocking against Mickey.

 

Mickey’s hold on Ian’s hand tightened a little bit, his free hand balling into a fist; quiet but heady grunts were being poured onto Mickey’s skin while Ian continued mouthing at his neck, seemingly unable to get enough and Mickey honestly couldn’t blame him. If last night had been perfect, it was nothing against the morning after. Ian’s hips continued their movements, grinding against Mickey’s ass inside of the little sleeping bag that kept them close together; like a burrito or some shit, heaps of warmth trapped in between the two of them.

 

Mickey’s teeth dug into his bottom lip, his eyebrows furrowing; Ian wasn’t inside of him at all but this still felt so fucking good. His cock sliding in between Mickey’s cheeks, making for lazy morning sex. Mickey wasn’t sure how Ian could roll his hips and still be doing such an amazing job on his neck, but the way he continued kissing his neck and shoulder kept the raven-haired boy’s mind completely clouded. In a daze or some shit. A perfect daze of rain and sex and Ian.

 

Mickey tightened his hold on Ian’s hand, exposing a little bit more of his neck for him to devour as he started pressing backwards, rolling his hips and timing it to Ian’s movements, their bodies moving together just as if Ian had actually been inside of Mickey. Ian’s breaths started growing a little bit heavier the more they worked each other up, his kisses growing even more biting, sloppier. Mickey’s eyes remained completely closed, but his teeth had let go of his lip at this point, and instead he let the moans and the grunts pass out through his mouth while he continued leaning into Ian, moving against him and craving more.

 

“You fucking sexy ass - “ Mickey thought maybe he heard Ian mumble against his skin, but he cut himself off by going in for an even deeper kiss right behind his ear, the lazy thrusts of his hips growing more powerful for every time, a muffled, ever so slight ‘ _thud thud thud_ ’ sound filling the tent every time that their skin touched, their legs completely tangled together with each other, as if they never wanted to let go. Ian’s thrusts were almost frantic at this point; fast and hard and desperate and so, so good.

 

Mickey didn’t even give a fuck that his cock wasn’t actually inside of him right now, his cock was throbbing with need anyway, his head spinning. Ian continued mouthing at Mickey’s neck as he brought their interlocked hands down to his straining cock, wrapping them around the length and giving Mickey a few good pumps, helping him get closer.

 

“Ian” The breath was just barely enough for Mickey to hear himself, but apparently Ian picked up on it as they continued rocking into each other. His lips stayed on his neck as he whispered back;

 

“Mickey” Mickey’s eyebrows furrowed, his head hazey while his orgasm started to slowly creep up on him, their hands - well, Ian’s hand; Mickey’s was just following - jerking him off at a perfect, heavenly pace.

 

A few more thrusts of Ian’s hips, and they were dangling dangerously close to the edge. Ian stopped mouthing at Mickey’s neck, needing to focus on the lower part of his body instead as he ground against Mickey, rocking his hips while his cock fit perfectly in between his ass cheeks, his precome spreading around and making it all smooth as they got closer and closer to shooting.

 

Ian continued jerking Mickey off, but Mickey took his hand out of the sleeping-bag, instead bringing it up to the back of Ian’s neck. His face was just resting against the warm skin in between Mickey’s neck and shoulder, soft moans and grunts escaping him every now and then as he focused all of his energy on getting them both off.

 

Mickey could feel the short, red hairs tickle his palm as he placed his hand onto the back of his head, keeping his face right there and silently asking for him to keep going, missing the warmth of his tongue and the sting of his teeth.

 

Ian got the hint immediately, starting to suck on the pale skin once again, knowing that it would probably end up bruising, that he would end up leaving his mark and branding Mickey as his own. He sucked and mouthed, nibbling just enough to make those beautiful moans escape the bottom’s thick lips. Mickey’s fingers stayed, running through the short strands of red hair, his hips pressing backwards against Ian’s cock, both teenagers feeling themselves grow closer, and then closer, and then finally, they were there.

 

Their bodies stilled against each other, grunts and moans being poured out of their mouths as they shot their loads inside of the sleeping bag; Ian’s ending up on Mickey’s lower back while Mickey’s own ended up covering the large, freckled hand. Their chests heaved up and down, looks of relief and euphoria on their faces. Ian’s parted lips rested against Mickey’s warm skin, and in the moment he was too tired to move them. Instead, his hot breaths fanned the pale flesh as their orgasms subsided, leaving them tired and dazed out.

 

Mickey swallowed, elbowing Ian softly in the stomach so that he would get the hint and ease backwards a little bit - as much as he could while they were wrapped up in that tiny sleeping-bag, at least. Mickey flipped over onto his back - well, over onto his other side since there wasn’t really enough space for him to be on his back - his eyes slowly blinking open for the first time since he had fallen asleep.

 

He was met by a pair of clear, green eyes looking down at him, that smile still present on his lips. The one that made Mickey’s heart skip a beat. Everything looked so different in the daylight; better. Mickey could see the flushed skin of Ian’s chest, and the way in which his lips were swollen from moving them across his neck with that much pressure and passion. For a second or so, they just looked. Took each other in.

 

Ian licked his lips, his chest still heaving up and down from the intensity of that orgasm while he gazed down at the beautiful boy in front of his eyes. His glasses were off of his face now, folded together and put away so that he would be able to sleep comfortably.

 

As much as those glasses turned Ian on, now he had more of a chance to really look into Mickey’s eyes without that barrier. It was as if he could see every single string inside of his eye that made up that deep, blue color that he would love to drown in. He still couldn’t really believe this. Everything had gone so fucking fast; from the kiss - which had been a complete impulse on his part - to just… this. Laying tangled together inside of this tiny ass sleeping bag, just staring at each other.

 

Less than twenty four hours ago, Ian had practically been drooling over Mickey, all the while beating himself up for it because he didn’t think that Mickey was even gay. But he was. Not only was Mickey gay, but he wanted Ian. They wanted each other - this had to be some kind of amazing dream or something. But in the end, Ian knew that it wasn’t. This was way too good to be a dream. The heat of Mickey’s legs against his own, the beautiful way in which his eyes searched his own - no. Never in a million years would Ian’s brain be able to think something like this up. It was real.

 

Ian may only be seventeen years old, and he was well aware of the fact that the odds of him and Mickey being together in ten years was slim to none - fuck, he wasn’t even sure that they were calling each other boyfriends yet - but so fucking what? Ian was completely crazy about Mickey right now. In this moment. And that had to be what mattered.

 

After a few seconds of that eye contact, Mickey was unable to take it anymore. He brought his hand back up to Ian’s neck, tugging him down so that they could crash their lips together, a happy hum sounding in the base of the taller boy’s throat as he wrapped his right arm around Mickey’s waist, tugging him closer to him, their chests pressing together.

 

Mickey threw his leg over Ian’s hip in an attempt to bring himself even closer, which resulted in some of the come that was left over on his own cock being spread out onto their stomachs, but neither of them could bring themselves to care. Their eyes were closed again, hands greedily grabbing at flesh while their tongues crowded each other’s mouths, both of them devouring the other. Then Ian eased the kiss a little bit, nipping at Mickey’s perfect bottom lip a couple of times before he went back in, craving everything.

 

It wasn’t very elegant and it wasn’t very perfect. It was just two seventeen year old boys who were completely crazy for each other, finally giving into it. It was sloppy, and it was messy. They couldn’t get enough in any sense of the word.

 

Their lips stayed eating at each other’s as Mickey inch by inch pushed Ian onto his back so that he could follow, laying on top of his body inside of the tiny sleeping-bag that shouldn’t actually be able to fit two people. Ian hummed at the perfect weight on top of him, his right arm staying wrapped around Mickey’s waist, holding him close while he brought his right one up to the back of his head, tugging at the black strands, thirsting to have even more of him. The taste was completely intoxicating; the feeling of just having each other like this. Neither of them had ever experienced anything like it before, not by a long shot.

 

Except for the smattering rain and the slight sounds of the birds singing outside of the tent, the only noise read by their ears was this. Them. The smacking of their lips and the quiet ruffling of Ian’s sleeping bag as they moved just a little bit, eating at each other’s mouths, their stomachs stirring with affection and a slight pinch of nervousness for the unknown. It was nothing short of perfect.

 

Ian kept his firm grip in Mickey’s hair as he loosened his arm around his waist, placing a flat palm onto the middle of his back, slowly sliding it down further; he reached some of his own come that was still left on the small of Mickey’s back, but he kept going until he reached his hole, enjoying the way the other boy’s breathing changed just because he got close.

 

“So fucking sexy” Ian managed to mumble before Mickey deepened the kiss further, shoving his tongue as deep down into his throat as he could. Ian hummed, his entire body throbbing at the perfect moment; the tips of his fingers teasing Mickey’s rim before slipping inside just a little bit, and then out again, just to torture him a little bit.

 

“Fuck - Fuck me” Mickey sighed, and Ian tugged even harder at his hair, deepening the kiss and getting ready to do just that when;

 

“Ian, are you awake yet? I think we shou - Oh fuck. I’m sorry, guys” Dave zipped the tent back up just as quickly as he had unzipped it, leaving Ian and Mickey alone to frantically pull apart and try to register what had just happened.

 

Dave walking in on them wasn’t that big of a deal to be honest - at least not to Ian who had known him since what felt like forever - he knew that he wasn’t judging, and he probably wouldn’t even remember it a few hours from now; that man had so many things on his brain that he rarely made a point to remember things he didn’t need to. Mickey on the other hand - well, as big of a crush as Ian had on him and as amazing as this night had been, he actually didn’t know much about him still - he had virtually no way of knowing if he would freak out or if he would just end up shrugging it off.

 

They were still wrapped up in the sleeping bag together, mainly because it was quite tight around their bodies and it would take a few seconds to manage to get out of it. Mickey was no longer laying on top of Ian, though. Instead he had rolled off of him a little bit, Ian’s left arm pressed to his chest as they stared up into the roof of the tent for a moment before Ian finally opened his mouth.

 

“Don’t worry about Dave, he’s alright” By Mickey’s sigh, Ian guessed that those had been pretty much the perfect words; he could even feel his entire body relax next to him. Ian turned a little bit so that they were both laying on their sides, facing each other, their eyes quite quickly connecting. “Are you out at all? Or do you want to keep… this…” Ian asked; although he would of course prefer it if Mickey would be completely comfortable with being gay - because it would make whatever this was a lot easier - he would never pressure him into coming out if he wasn’t yet.

 

“I’m cool, man. Just caught me off guard, s’all” Mickey spoke with a sigh. In the past year, he had actually started to become a fuck of a lot more comfortable with the fact that he was gay; of course in the beginning of his teenage years when he had first started to realize it, it had been scary as fuck and all he had been able to think was that he couldn’t be. He had to like girls - that was just… it. And since he and Mandy had gotten emancipated, he had actually not only begun to accept it for himself, but if somebody asked, he didn’t lie. And it felt really fucking good to be able to be open about it at least to some degree.

 

After that semi-serious moment, Ian chose to shake it off because it was way too early to be dealing with their lives in that scale; instead of keeping the conversation going, he wrapped his arm back around Mickey’s waist and tugged them closer together, pressing a deep kiss to his jawline.

 

“‘M pretty sure we should get up” A slight chuckle clouded Mickey’s words, and the hand he placed onto the back of Ian’s neck to keep him there was extremely contradictory. Ian just hummed, pressing himself even closer and rolling on top of him, continuing to mouth at his neck in that special way that made Mickey want to forget about anything and everything else in his life.

 

Just be here, in the moment instead. Thirty seconds later, though, they started hearing the small steps around the tent and the kids talking, so they did the smart thing and parted for now - no matter how difficult it was. Ian lifted his head, only to be tugged back down by Mickey, their lips smashing together into a wet, dirty kiss. His hands were on the back of Ian’s head, holding him down while their tongues messily slipped over each other; this was the last kiss that they would be able to share in a little while, so they both made it count before Mickey finally let Ian go, both of them sitting up on the blankets.

 

Mickey reached to his side to retrieve his glasses, placing them back onto his face. When he looked at Ian, he had his bottom lip fastened in between his teeth, and it took all of their willpower combined not to fuck right there.

 

  
***

 

  
As much as Ian disliked rain a lot of the time, today he was actually really thankful for it. With how hot the weather had been in the past couple of days, it was practically a gift sent from the gods because despite the fact that it technically wasn’t all that much cooler today, the water falling from the clouds certainly helped a little bit and made the non visible sun just a little bit more bearable. Because of it, though - a part of Ian had kind of been hoping that Dave would have decided that it was raining too much for them to do anything.

 

That maybe he would just cook up some food somehow and everybody would spend the day by the tents - so that he and Mickey would have been able to well… sneak inside of the tent instead. Alas, he knew that that wasn’t how this worked. The parents paid so that their kids would be allowed to partake in activities and they couldn’t pause those activities just because it happened to be raining - Ian had heard this rundown a thousand and one times before.

 

So a couple of hours after everybody had first woken up and started their days, they were all down by the lake, some of the kids swimming in the water which was something that a lot of them had whined to the counselors about wanting to do since the day they had first arrived here; why they would want to swim in the rain and not wait a couple of days until it was hot as balls again - Ian wasn’t sure.

 

He was just thankful that his only current task was standing a few meters up to make sure that nobody would end up drowning. His regular pair of green surfer shorts hung low from his hips, the black flip flops placed onto his feet. The light grey muscle tee that was draped over his upper body was quite quickly becoming soaked by the rain, turning darker with every single drop of water that hit the fabric. It wasn’t too bad, though - it was summer rain after all, nothing that could ever be called a storm or anything.

 

This was also one of the many moments when he was thankful that he had let Fiona give him that buzzcut, because if he had had that long hair, it would have been hanging down his face in stripes and just annoying the absolute fuck out of him. At that thought, he took a deep breath, bringing his right hand up to his head and absentmindedly rubbing the short hairs as he watched out over the children, making sure that they were all laughing and having fun and not murdering each other or something.

 

  
***

 

  
“Where were you last night?” Mandy’s voice reached Mickey’s ears as she came up to him, mimicking his stance by leaning against a tree and crossing her arms, looking out over the lake and the children that were playing around.

 

They were standing just at the edge of the woods, but the leaves of the trees still protected them a little bit from the pouring rain; for once Mandy had actually bothered putting on her eyeliner so she would really rather not have it streaming down her face. She had the same denim shorts on that she had had ever since they had arrived here, along with one of Mickey’s black muscle tees because they were comfortable and worn in and if anybody asked, it totally did not make her feel safe to have a part of her brother wrapped around her.

 

“The fuck you mean?” Mickey asked, digging his fingertips into his upper arms as he looked straight ahead, his gaze quite possibly fastening to the back of a grey muscle tee.

 

“You didn’t sleep in the tent, douchebag” Mandy pointed out despite the fact that she was very aware of the fact that Mickey knew exactly what she was talking about. “Where were you?” Mickey continued staring straight ahead of himself, contemplating what would be the best thing to do. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of being gay or ashamed of having sex with Ian - that would have made him slightly fucked up, like look at that boy. He had just never been very comfortable talking about his personal personal life, even if it was with Mandy.

 

“Just… around” He ended up answering, and he could feel the shot coming on before the words were even out of Mickey’s mouth.

 

“Alright. So - Ian didn’t suck those huge ass hickeys into your neck?” Mickey’s hand immediately flew up to his jawline, a wince escaping his lips; how the fuck could he have forgotten about the way Ian had been devouring his neck last night? Of fucking course he had bruises from it - bruises Ian surely had seen as they had gotten up this morning, but he hadn’t said anything. Mickey slowly brought his arm back down again, crossing them both over his chest while staying quiet - he just wasn’t all that sure what to say about it.

 

Yes, he had been fucked by Ian, and yes it had been amazing, and yes, that’s where the hickeys were from. What was the problem? Why did Mandy always seem to want to tease him about shit? Then again, he probably did the same thing to her, it was just such a normal part of their relationship that he didn’t notice it.

 

“Yeah, we fucked” Mickey shrugged - he knew that it was more than that and it wasn’t something that he would deny if Mandy were to ask - he just wasn’t really the kind of person to spill his heart out in the rain in the middle of the woods. Even if it was just his sister who was listening.

 

“That your first time?”

 

“Fuck, Mandy” Mickey finally snapped. He wasn’t screaming or anything like that, he turned to look at her with a deep frown on his face, but he was clearly annoyed. He loved his twin sister, he just really didn’t want to talk to her about this. Not right now. “Would you leave it alone?”

 

At that, Mandy just rolled her eyes and pushed herself to stand up straight instead of leaning back against the tree. She then walked a few steps so that she was standing in front of her brother instead of beside him, making sure that he was going to be listening to the next words that were due to come out of her mouth.

 

“Sorry. But Mickey, don’t screw this up. If you like him. Don’t psych yourself out like I always do. He seems like an alright guy” Then she walked away, back towards the tents and giving Mickey little to no time to think of a response before she was completely gone, out of his sight. He sighed, sinking back against the tree as he continued staring out over the lake; the thin white v neck hung over his upper body and he wasn’t sure why he had been stupid enough to wear it when it was raining, but thankfully not much of the water had reached him yet.

 

‘ _Don’t screw this up_ ’ Mandy had said just about ten seconds ago. Mickey really fucking wished that it was that easy. The thing was that this was scary. All of it - not just the shit with Ian. Moving was scary, and going to a new school was scary. Doing a complete one eighty with your life was scary as shit, despite the fact that Mickey would never admit this out loud. All he could do was try to make the best of it, he supposed. No matter how fucking bumper-stickerish that sounded.

 

“Hey” Mickey had been so caught up in his own thoughts that he hadn’t noticed Ian had walked up towards the woods, but now he was standing in front of him, a little bit of a height difference in between them. He had a small smile on his lips as their eyes connected, both teenager’s stomachs fluttering at the mere feeling of being this close to each other.

 

Mickey could have said hello back - he could have said anything. But he didn’t. Instead he let a smile of his own cloud his lips as he reached forwards, fisting a little bit of Ian’s tee, feeling the fabric let go of some of the rainwater it had soaked up. He tugged a little bit, Ian immediately getting the hint as he crowded him up against the tree, their smiles pressing together.

 

Mickey was more than aware of the fact that this seemed to be the very definition of a summer love. Fast and stupid and hot. Maybe they would last even when these two weeks were over, and maybe they wouldn’t. Whatever happened, he would deal with it because right now he didn’t want to think about anything. All he wanted to focus on was how fucking good Ian’s lips felt slipped in between his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [{Come say hello because I’m very lonely}](http://anothergallavichlove.tumblr.com/)


	5. Bubble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The slight tipper tapper of rain on the roof blended together with the sound of the crickets outside in the dark night, forever trapping Ian and Mickey inside of their own little bubble together. They didn’t say anything; they didn’t really feel the need to. Instead they just breathed, their swollen lips aching a little bit from all of the kissing and biting.

“No, no. Baby, like this” Ian spoke with a chuckle, and Mickey soon felt his warmth behind his own frame as he squinted a little bit, gaze strictly focused on the target ahead of him.

 

The past week or so had actually been better than Mickey would ever have been able to imagine; the kids weren’t all that bad after all so the days were just fine. The nights with Ian were amazing.

 

Of course that fact did scare him just a little bit - Mickey had never been very lucky in happiness, no matter what form. So a small part of him was scared that all of this would be taken away soon. Maybe that fear was stupid, and maybe it was irrational but he knew that he wasn’t alone in that thought. Mandy was always scared whenever she got together with somebody she really liked as well - with how they had both grown up it probably made some sort of sense. In any case - Mickey couldn’t fight whatever he and Ian had together.

 

Yes, they were only seventeen - and yes, the odds of them lasting a bunch of years into the future weren’t all that large. And yes, Mickey wondered how everything would end up working out when school started back up again. But it didn’t matter right now. Because in this moment, things were good.

 

After that first night that he and Ian had spent together, the rain had continued pouring for a day or so, and then the weather had cleared up again, the heat becoming just as unbearable as it had been to begin with. The sun had started beating down, providing everybody at camp with horrific sunburns and constant layers of sweat on their skin. Now it was raining again - it wasn’t a lot at all, and the heat was still there. But small dribbles of water continuously trickled down from the clouds and landed onto the leaves of the trees above.

 

This might be the very definition of summer rain. One of Ian’s black wifebeaters sat stretched across Mickey’s chest, and it was totally not because he loved having his scent on him. No. His regular pair of surfer shorts sat on his hips, his old chucks laced up over his feet, slightly damp from the rain water than had collected in the moss on the ground.

 

Ian’s warm hand curled around Mickey’s right hip, his chest pressing against his back. Mickey knew that he was supposed to be focusing on the current task at hand - and he did his best - but having his boyfriend pressed up against him was incredibly distracting. Ian reached forwards and curled his left hand around Mickey’s, keeping the bow from wiggling in the air while they both attempted to focus as best as they could. Mickey was just really fucking happy that they were currently alone in this little area of the woods, because he could feel an erection coming on at any given moment. Fucking Gallagher and his fucking cock. Mickey’s right arm was bent and pulled back, the tips of his three middle fingers hugging the string as his semi-light breaths poured into the morning air.

 

“Just like that, see?” Ian’s words fanned the back of Mickey’s neck, making him come damn close to just dropping this shit and turning around so that he could have him. Fucking hell. Instead he stood still, making sure to keep his body in the exact position that Ian had corrected him into. “There. Just let go”

 

Mickey let the bow go with a snap, the arrow disappearing forwards, slamming into the red area of the target a few meters ahead. Mickey raised his eyebrows, staying still and silent for a second or two, amazed that he had managed to do so good the very first time he had ever shot archery. Well, most of it was probably thanks to the boy that currently was pressing his soft lips to the back of Mickey’s neck.

 

“You did so good” A soft, whisper tinted chuckle escaped Mickey’s lips while he let his body relax, by now already knowing all of the tell-tale signs of his boyfriend becoming horny. Neck kissing, unnecessary touching that didn’t really need to be happening at a certain moment. Then again, they were two seventeen year old boyfriends - when Mickey thought about it, he wasn’t all too sure that Ian looked like when he wasn’t horny.

 

Mickey let his arm relax completely, the bow hanging from his fingers as he elbowed Ian gently in the stomach to give him the chance to turn around. Ian let go of his boyfriend for a moment, but as soon as their eyes met, his arm was back around his waist, green orbs blinking down into blue. He swallowed, his heart bursting somehow. It was still early - the clock couldn’t have passed seven am yet - so they were alone out here, alone in the land of the awake as the rain quietly dripped down over them, making them feel as if they were once again inside of that bubble that they shared together.

 

Then again, maybe they had never really been out of it. Ian was well aware of the fact that a week wasn’t much at all, but somehow it felt like it. They saw each other twenty four hours of the day, to be fair - had they only seen each other a few hours out of it, then they probably wouldn’t be as close as they currently felt.

 

Sure, they couldn’t share their ‘I love you’s yet, and they couldn’t say that they would be together forever - no one could, really. But they were two teenage boys at a summer camp, completely crazy for each other. They kissed and they fucked and they called each other ‘boyfriend’. As far as Ian saw it, that was a good place for them to be at right now.

 

Out of habit, Mickey lifted his free hand up to his face, pushing his glasses just a little bit further up onto the bridge of his nose, seeing Ian capture his bottom lip in between his teeth at the sight. Mickey didn’t know why the fuck that small tick of his was such a turn on for his stupid ass boyfriend, but apparently it was. As soon as he had let his own hand drop, Ian replaced it with his own, pushing at the glasses despite the fact that it wasn’t necessary in the slightest. The dark, perfectly arched eyebrows raised as both teenagers stayed quiet for a second before Ian finally leaned in to capture Mickey’s mouth in a perfectly searing kiss, sucking his lips in between his own.

 

Their eyes fell closed while they leaned into each other; this was something they wouldn’t get bored of any time soon. Kissing, touching. Mickey wasn’t proud of it, but right after they had had sex for the first time, he had wondered if it had been so amazing simply because it had been his first time. He knew now that that wasn’t true - it had been amazing simply because it had been together with Ian.

 

It didn’t take more than a few seconds before Mickey let the bow drop to the damp ground beneath them in favor of placing both of his hands on either side of Ian’s neck, deepening the kiss a little bit further, their now experienced tongues sliding over each other, smoothly licking all areas of each other’s mouths while they breathed heavily through their noses, wanting more. Ian wound both of his arms tightly around Mickey’s waist, tugging him to step a little bit closer, their chests ending up touching; Ian’s black wifebeater on Mickey’s body against the thin, white v neck on Ian’s.

 

Mickey moved his hands over the back of Ian’s neck a little bit, feeling the short hairs of his buzzcut scratch his palms. He loved the haircut - not that he had much input in it seeing as he had never seen Ian in any other kind of hair - but sometimes he wished that he had something to tug on the way Ian liked to wrap his fist into the black strands. Right now, the tips of Ian’s fingers were digging into Mickey’s back, wanting him even closer to him. Their noses were smashed into each other’s cheeks, neither of them able to even get anywhere near enough of the other.

 

The rain continued peppering down over them, not all that much still but it certainly filled the air with a lightness of some sort, a comforting sound effect as they kissed, getting completely and utterly lost in each other.

 

Ian broke the kiss for a second, nibbling a little bit at Mickey’s bottom lip before going in even deeper, almost as if he was chasing Mickey’s uvula with his tongue. Despite the heady, passionate kiss, Mickey felt so fucking calm and at peace. He knew what to do; he kissed Ian back with everything that he had and he let his hands wander over the short, red hair. Though of course his stomach was stirring and his cock was starting to wake up a little bit, he doubted that he would ever feel more serene than he did with Ian. It was possible that it was stupid - making out like this in the rain and in the middle of the woods where anybody could see them, but neither of them could fucking help it. They were too gone.

 

Mickey had his head tilted upwards just a little bit, eyes closed as Ian completely jammed his tongue deep down into his mouth, his fingertips digging into his back. A low hum rang in the base of Mickey’s throat, his body craving even more. Only they weren’t anywhere near their tents - three minutes, maybe which honestly wasn’t anywhere near in a situation like this one - not to mention the fact that the others would surely be waking up any minute.

 

Their mouths stayed completely glued together while Mickey turned them around a little bit, pushing Ian towards one of the larger trees, his back ending up pressed against the bark. Ian hummed, and though Mickey was technically the one that currently had control since he was caging his boyfriend in, the taller man just tightened his grip around his waist, pressing him even closer to himself, both boys finding it difficult to keep their mouths relaxed enough to keep the kiss going. They just wanted to smile. That’s how they were around each other for some reason.

 

The rain continued pouring over them, picking up just a tiny bit; it wasn’t nearly enough to soak them or anything. They could barely hear it tapping down onto the trees, but it was enough to keep them inside of their own little bubble, make them feel free and happy. Mickey had Ian completely pinned against the tree at this point, his hands now resting on his chest, fisting the thin material of his t shirt as they kissed and kissed and kissed, Mickey’s glasses bumping Ian’s nose now and then. Ian hummed, tugging his boyfriend even closer, desperate to have even more.

 

Mickey’s tongue grew a little bit stronger and more sure inside of Ian’s mouth with every second that passed, and his hands slid down his clothed chest, his fingers starting to pull a little bit at the waistband of his shorts.

 

“Wait, wait” Ian pulled away, voice not much more than a breath as both eyes opened, Mickey’s face settled into a slight frown as he waited for his boyfriend to say whatever he needed to before they would be able to continue getting lost in each other. “We can’t do this here, Mick. It’s the morning”

 

Over the past week, of course they had experimented with fucking in some places other than their tent - well, they had tried fucking, at least. They hadn’t even gotten their clothes off before they had realised that the sand was a bad idea, and the night that they had tried the lake, the water had proved to be way too fucking freezing. The point was that all of it had been at night when they were sure that everybody else was asleep and wouldn't see them. This aside, Mickey just grunted a little bit, his breath fanning his boyfriend’s lips.

 

“Fuck it, everyone’s still asleep anyway, man” After the words had left Mickey’s mouth, he went back in for an even deeper kiss, pushing at Ian a little bit so that they ended up on the other side of the tree, more shielded from camp just in case anybody would feel like waking up early, though Mickey doubted it.

 

It didn’t take more than a second or two before Ian seemed to forget about his previous statement and instead just completely melted into Mickey’s touch. One of Mickey’s hands were back on Ian’s chest for a second, tugging some more at the thin fabric of his shirt, pressing himself closer to him. It was probably stupid as fuck to do anything out here, but neither of the teenagers could truly bring themselves to give a shit.

 

The kiss deepened a little bit more, Ian pressing Mickey closer to himself for a second, their tongues pushing at each other, crowding their mouths as they got more and more worked up. It didn’t take very long before Mickey pulled away from the kiss, a whine sounding in the base of Ian’s throat as he wanted more. No kiss could ever be enough with Mickey.

 

His objection quickly faded to the very back of his brain, though as Mickey sank down, sliding his hands down with him as he went and hooking his fingers in the waistband of Ian’s boxers. Blowjobs in the woods was something they hadn't done before, but fuck if Ian wasn’t there for it.

 

Mickey looked so fucking good where he sat, those blue eyes staring up at him through the thick glasses, his lips parted. His face was quite flushed thanks to all of the kissing and the few raindrops that had made it down through all of the leaves only to land on his cheeks.

 

Ian’s teeth got a hold of his own bottom lip while he leaned back against the tree, finally giving in and letting this happen though there were probably a million better places where they could be doing this.

 

Their eyes stayed connected while Mickey tugged Ian’s shorts down, just enough that his cock was free, a soft sigh of relief escaping his lips despite the fact that his clothes had been loose anyway.

 

Mickey’s tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip, and he wasn’t sure where he wanted to look anymore. On one hand, he had this beautiful long, straining erection in front of him, begging for his attention. But on the other hand - those green fucking eyes staring down at him. Holy fuck. Eventually, though, Ian’s cock won. Mickey swallowed to wet his throat a little bit, and then he wrapped a strong and sure hand around the base of it, moving his fist up and down a few times, watching the way in which Ian almost seemed to twitch at his mere touch.

 

“Fuck” Ian breathed as Mickey leaned forwards, using his tongue to tease the slit at the head of his cock, feeling the slight tinge of the salty precome coat his tongue. Mickey looked down at what he was doing, but he could sense his boyfriend’s eyes looking down at him, his cheeks were probably quite flushed as well already. The rain continued dribbling down onto them, just a little bit, blending together with the morning sun and making for a confusing kind of weather.

 

Mickey closed his lips around the very tip of Ian’s cock, not going further and instead teasing him as he looked up, meeting those eyes. His tongue moved in light circles around the slit, and he watched Ian’s pupils gradually expand as he had his head tilted downwards, completely amazed at how Mickey could somehow look so fucking innocent and so dirty at the same time.

 

Ian's bottom lip was stuck, sucked in between his teeth, his heart speeding up in his chest. By now, Mickey had started bobbing his head up and down his cock, just a little bit - still not taking much more than half if only for the fact that they both knew by now that Ian couldn’t really last all that long when he had Mickey’s mouth on him. It felt too fucking good - looked too good.

 

Mickey’s fist had relaxed and opened up a little bit, his fingers resting at the base of Ian’s large cock as he worked him with his mouth, breaking the eye contact in between them again so that he could truly focus on what he was doing down there. The weight in his mouth was enough for him to lose track of himself; he loved pleasuring Ian which was something that he had only learned in the past couple of days. He had never thought that giving blow jobs would be something he was very into, but he fucking loved it. Seeing Ian’s face, hearing his sounds and sometimes feeling him tug at his hair - it was almost better than actually having his cock inside of his ass. Almost; that was, of course.

 

Mickey worked and worked, slowly but surely working down more and more of Ian down into his throat - he still had never really managed taking the whole thing down, which was understandable, he supposed. He had never sucked anyone off before Ian - and he was pretty fucking huge. His lips started getting that ever so slight stinging from the stretching he had to do to fit all of Ian in his mouth - it didn’t hurt, really. But he could feel it. Mickey’s eyes were closed by now, and he had managed to get about two thirds of Ian’s cock down into his throat, so he sped up since he knew that that was his limit.

 

At some point he would probably be in the mood to practice some more, but he wasn’t doing that shit in the middle of the woods when anybody could walk by - he was still blowing him, because he was a horny seventeen yearold who just wanted to see his boyfriend lose control. But he certainly wouldn’t be taking a ton of more time than what was necessary.

 

Mickey sped up some more, sucking his cheeks in just the tiniest bit while he closed his fist around the base of Ian’s cock, starting to move it up and down a little bit, jerking him off on the few inches that he couldn’t quite reach with his mouth. Ian’s hand was in the black hair right now, his teeth digging so deep into the skin of his lip that he was almost on the edge of tasting blood. His head was tilted backwards, a slight vein in his neck popping out just a little bit.

 

It felt so fucking good. Mickey’s technique wasn’t really perfection just yet, but Ian was oh so more than happy to let him practice whenever he wanted; besides, he more than made up for it with enthusiasm as his head moved up and down Ian’s cock at quite a fast pace. His lips were tightly wrapped around the shaft, his hand following up and down.

 

Mickey hollowed his cheeks, working as well as he could to get his boyfriend off, some saliva being collected around his lips, the slight tinge of precome blending in with it.

 

Everything was still so fucking new to him - especially his relationship with Ian, of course but the whole being sexually active thing too - ninety percent of the time he wasn’t all too sure that he was doing things right, but he kept going anyway and by the way Ian’s hand was tightening in his hair, he seemed to be doing just fine. He continued bobbing his head up and down at quite a fast pace, some saliva being spread out around his mouth as he did; he hollowed his cheeks even more, knowing by now that the harder he sucked, the more control Ian ended up losing.

 

Strangled grunts sounded in the base of his throat, and Mickey could tell that he was struggling to make sure that he didn’t shout out in pleasure while he got him closer and closer towards the edge.

 

To keep himself from it, his hand tightened even more at Mickey’s hair, almost to the point where it was painful but another thing that the bottom had noticed in the past couple of days was that hair pulling was surely something he was into. It felt so fucking good to know that he was making Ian feel that way; that he was making him feel so good that he had to tug and tug at his hair to keep himself up right. The more he tugged, the more confidence he gifted Mickey, and he sped up even a little bit more; had there been less sounds around them, there would probably be some wet sounds crowding their ears from all of the saliva.

 

“Just like that, Mick - ugh - eat my fucking cock, just like that” Mickey hummed at the words, his eyes just about rolling to the back of his head at the sound alone. Hearing Ian say things like that - it just did something to him. His cock was nothing if not completely and utterly throbbing in his boxers, begging for the attention it wasn’t currently getting. Mickey moved his hand and mouth up and down Ian’s cock as fast and as hard as he managed, humming now and again, making Ian buck his hips at the vibrations. “Fuck, stop. Look at me” Ian suddenly tightened his hold on Mickey’s hair, tugging him off. Mickey had had his eyes closed, focusing on nothing but sucking that beautiful cock, but now he looked up, meeting the green eyes. “You look so fucking good, holy shit. Stick your tongue out for me?”

 

Mickey did so without a second question, opening his mouth wide, tongue hanging out while he blinked up. Ian had his right hand placed around the base of his cock now, so Mickey had let go, instead curling his hands around his hips. Ian took a deep breath, almost as if he was willing himself not to come right there, and then he gently slapped his cock onto Mickey’s tongue a time or two, a wet sound reaching their ears. Mickey hummed at the feeling, and at that Ian steered his cock back inside of his mouth again, making sure that he let Mickey take the lead since he wasn’t all that experienced at all just yet.

 

The eye contact stayed established in between them while Mickey hummed, going straight back to sucking Ian as if his fucking life depended on it, blinking up at Ian through the thick glasses because he knew that that for some fucked up reason got him going or some shit. Ian continued tugging at his hair, and soon he was forced to break the eye contact in favor of clenching his own shut, his teeth once again digging deep into his bottom lip, his orgasm building and building and building.

 

“Fuck, fuck. Mickey - “ That’s all he had the time to say before his body had had enough, coming into a wonderful, crashing orgasm, soft moans escaping his lips. Mickey stayed still, feeling the hot come pump down his throat, Ian’s short nails digging into his scalp, his hips twitching back and forth. Once he was done, he stayed leaning against the tree for another moment to recover, leaving Mickey to pull his mouth off of his cock before turning around and taking a step or two away to spit out the come onto the moss where nobody would find it.

 

When he turned back around, Ian was pulling his shorts back up onto his hips, his chest heaving quite heavily up and down, face flushed.

 

Mickey took the couple of steps over once again, just in time for Ian to look let go of the waistband of his shorts and look at his boyfriend, a happy post-orgasm smile quickly being spread out over his face.

 

Mickey couldn’t help but return it as Ian reached out, wrapping an arm around his waist and slipping their lips together, neither of the boys really having the energy to make it all that hot or deep as they were both quite tired from what had just gone down.

 

Instead they just stood there for a second, Mickey’s hands gently balled up into fists, resting on Ian’s clothed chest as they kissed lazily, not all that much tongue involved for once. Ian’s arms held his boyfriend in place, keeping them close together, their stomachs buzzing with the intense crushes that they carried around for each other.

 

Ian pulled away from the kiss, swallowing as he blinked down at Mickey for a second, a soft smile being spread out across his lips while he just took him in. Mickey returned it immediately, pushing his glasses up a little bit and then he went back in, their smiles pressing together, noses nudging each other’s cheeks.

 

“Mick? Are you and Ian out here already?” A slight, annoyed sigh fell out from in between Mickey’s lips as they pulled apart at his sister’s slightly distant voice, their foreheads resting together for a minute before Ian pecked his lips once again, then letting him go completely.

 

“Yeah, we’re here”

 

  
***

 

  
The rain continued dripping down from the oddly blue sky in the next couple of hours, and the day continued not much differently from all of the other ones that had passed in the last week or so. Today’s activity was quite obviously archery, so Ian, Dave and one other counselor walked among the kids and taught them how to shoot correctly - since they actually knew how to - meanwhile, Mickey and Mandy along with the other people who didn’t, just walked around and made sure that the slightly younger kids didn’t stab themselves in the foot with the arrows or some shit. It was actually quite a fun day, Mickey had only ever used guns and knifes in terms of weapons, playing around with bows and arrows turned out to be interested - even if it was just at a still, colorful target for fun.

 

Mandy and Mickey stuck together, really more out of a habit than anything else. Though they had both bonded with some of the other people around, being in a new city, a new state and a new life was scary and neither of them would ever feel as safe as they did when they were together. Even if they would never really express these feelings out loud. To each other or to anybody else.

 

Mandy’s hair was for once let free of the hairtie, pouring over her shoulders and the cobalt blue fabric of her tank top as she bent down just a little bit, correcting one of the younger children with how he felt the arrow to make sure that everybody would be out of danger. Mickey crossed his arms in front of his chest, just watching her completely absentmindedly for a second before he ended up lifting his head, his eyes immediately connecting with the green pair that were already looking at him from across the area. A soft smile danced on his lips - the one that made Mickey’s stomach freak out in the best way that he had ever felt it do. The eye contact only lasted for a second or so, but it still managed to warm Mickey’s locked heart somehow.

 

  
***

  
Heavy, heady breaths filled Ian’s tent later that night as the teenagers laid side by side on the blankets, completely spread out with not a single article of clothing covering their bodies while they did their best to make their breaths catch back up with them. The slight tipper tapper of rain on the roof blended together with the sound of the crickets outside in the dark night, forever trapping Ian and Mickey inside of their own little bubble together. They didn’t say anything; they didn’t really feel the need to. Instead they just breathed, their swollen lips aching a little bit from all of the kissing and biting. Mickey’s ass ached in that wonderful way that only one thing could make it.

 

Their arms were pressed together, and it didn’t take very many seconds before Mickey felt the slight tickle of Ian’s fingers trying to get in between his own to lock together.

 

Mickey’s throat went dry for a second - they had fucked and they had kissed and they had shared some things about their pasts, small things - but they had never really held hands all that much and for some reason that just felt so fucking intimate. Maybe it was because all throughout growing up, what Mickey and Mandy had been taught was that love - or any kind of affection for another human being - was a weakness. That the second that you showed yourself weak, you were vulnerable and a Milkovich was never allowed to be vulnerable.

 

Then again - Mickey realized that Ian had taken his virginity - at a slow pace at that - and what could really be much more intimate than that? So he blinked away his doubts and he responded, lacing their fingers together as confidently as he could, feeling the weight of Ian’s hand in his own.

 

Their sound of their breathing went a little bit more quiet, Ian’s thumb rubbing smooth circles on the back of Mickey’s hand as they just laid there - they were way too sweaty to roll into each other no matter how much they would like to be touching some more. None of it was awkward, it never was with them. Things were… simple. And things were good. Almost too good.

 

Mickey had his eyes closed now, beginning to grow a little bit too tired to keep them open. That’s when he felt Ian move their hands, a warm kiss being placed to the back of his. Ian lingered for a moment, and then he let their intertwined hands drop down in between their hips once again.

 

Mickey’s throat was tight, his stomach dropping with the simple act. But… dropping in a good way. As if he had too much affection for Ian for his body to really handle. It was scary - it was terrifying to be feeling this way about another human being. But for now, Mickey knew that it was a lost cause to pretend that he wasn't completely crazy for Ian Gallagher. Whatever came with that, he would just have to deal with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'But Hunter, what is all of this smut? Where's the plot and the angst?' Ayo, I said it not you lmao. No, but seriously, treasure this chapter and possibly the next one because now they're actually together which is when things will start going down, so... yayus. 
> 
> Wishing you all an amazing day! <3


	6. Leaving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fuck, they were so sweet that Mandy just about wanted to barf right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not edited free of typos or even looked over in the very least because today has been just... oh my god. Life, guys. Life. But at least I have it up, so there's a silver lining!

Ian’s teeth nibbled a little bit at the inside of his own bottom lip while he pushed the glasses a little bit further up Mickey’s nose, the green eyes looking deep into the blue ones. The blankets were soft underneath their bodies since it was way too hot to be crammed inside of that sleeping bag; the morning sun somehow slipping in somewhat through the blue canvas that made up the tent, the birds singing outside.

 

The others were due to wake up any minute now, because today was it. Camp was over, and everyone was going to go home. A part of Ian was sad, because the truth was that this summer had been quite perfect - actually, it had been a lot more than perfect. He had become quite good friends with Mandy over the past two weeks, and the activities had been changed a little bit, they had done a lot of fun things with the kids.

 

And of course - Mickey. Maybe it was ridiculous, but Ian couldn’t help it. A little less than two weeks into their relationship and he couldn’t imagine not being able to kiss those lips or have those deep, beautiful blue eyes looking into his own. Everything. His boyfriend was so fucking beautiful.

 

Sometimes Mickey would get a little bit uncomfortable in moments like this one; moments where Ian would just be quiet and take him in. Silent moments when they weren’t talking, kissing or fucking. Just looking. His throat often formed somewhat of a lump and he wasn’t all that sure how he should be handling it or how he should be taking it. It was a scary thing - to be seventeen years old and to be feeling like this. It was completely terrifying, to be honest. Ian was so fucking kind, and so sweet and so hot and… sometimes it all just added up to Mickey wondering why the fuck he wanted him. But he did. Ian wanted Mickey and Mickey wanted Ian and even if it was all incredibly fast, they were teenagers, after all.

 

They stayed like that for another couple of beats; Ian staring at Mickey and Mickey staring at Ian. The moment in time somehow frozen. Then Mickey brought his hand up to the back of Ian’s neck, pressing a little bit to tug him down for a deep kiss, both pairs of eyes falling closed as Ian hummed into it, their lips expertly slipping in between one another’s.

 

Mickey felt the short, red hairs scratch his palm, his glasses bumping Ian’s nose as the kiss deepened a little bit, their bare skin resting safely against each other, their minds free of anything but this. Them. One of Ian’s hands were curled around Mickey’s hip, his other arm slipping around the back of his neck to tug him up even a little bit closer, pressing their bodies together, more and more saliva starting to exchange in between them.

 

Their foreheads were pressed together, heavy and heady breaths filling the tent, their legs tangled together. Their lips were aching just a tiny bit, neither of them able to get anywhere close to enough. Ian soon pulled away from the kiss, tugging Mickey’s bottom lip in between his teeth as he lifted his head, letting it go, the slight and thick sounding ‘plop’ blending with Mickey’s protesting whine. Said whine was cut short, though because then Ian’s lips were on Mickey’s jawline, sucking and nibbling in that perfect way that made his head spin and veins throb.

 

“Ian” Mickey breathed, tilting his head back, the arm disappearing from around his neck so that Ian could place both of his hands around his waist, holding him tightly as he worked that one patch on his neck, seemingly determined to make his mark, determined to let everybody know that Mickey was his and he was Mickey’s. They were them. Fuck. When they had started this camp, they had both been so fucking gone on one another, but neither of them had believed that the other one would be even the slightest bit interested - how did they get here? Two short weeks later, they were in this tent - they were boyfriends.

 

Ian’s teeth grazed over the mark he was currently creating - not that Mickey’s body wasn’t already littered with huge fucking purple marks; marks that had on several occasions caused the kids to asked if he was alright, or who he had been in a fight with. His boyfriend was such a fucking possessive motherfucker - but in a good way. Mickey fucking loved it. His hand was still on the back of Ian’s neck, keeping him there, soft and heady moans escaping his lips, his cock absolutely throbbing, resting only inches below Ian’s. His fingertips pressed into the short red hairs, his teeth grasping at his bottom lip, muscles tightening. How the fuck neck kisses could feel this good, he didn’t know but Ian was really fucking talented. So fucking talented that he rolled his hips, sliding their cocks together and Mickey had to drive his heel into his boyfriend’s calf.

 

“You gotta fuck me, man. Now. Can’t take it” Despite Ian’s initial wince at the pain in his leg, he soon hummed darkly, pressing a last, deep kiss to his boyfriend’s neck before lifting his head and attaching their lips again, pushing his tongue deep inside of his mouth, craving everything. Mickey grunted, nipping at his bottom lip, his glasses bumping the bridge of Ian’s nose when they changed sides and then went back in, his legs tightly wrapped around the taller teenager’s waist.

 

“Turn around, Mick” Ian breathed into his mouth right as the kiss broke, a small protesting sound falling out of Mickey’s throat. “Want to take you so fucking hard”

 

“Oh” Mickey hadn’t meant for the sound to come out of his mouth, but the words were so fucking perfect, making even more precome starting to drip out of his hard cock as he surged up for another deep, perfect kiss, their tongues sliding surely over one another’s right before the kiss broke and he obeyed, flipping over so that he was on all fours, exposing his ass to his boyfriend.

 

He quickly took his glasses off and put them to the side, knowing that they would end up falling off otherwise. He felt a warm, strong hand right above his ass, and it made his eyes fall closed for a second, his stomach burning up. This couldn’t be normal; feeling like this couldn’t be normal. Mickey had his body full of soft affection, even in a moment as hot as this one.

 

“You look so fucking good like this, Mickey. Jesus” Ian’s breath registered inside of Mickey’s brain, making his eyes flutter closed as his boyfriend’s large hand kneaded his right cheek once before letting go, the ‘pop’ of the lube being opened also reaching his ears, his veins throbbing with need. Mickey’s eyes were closed, neck slightly dipped as he waited; this probably wasn’t all that smart - fucking in a position that they knew made a lot of noise when all of the other people around camp were due to wake up literally any second, but in this very moment, neither Ian nor Mickey could bring themselves to give a shit. Affection, passion, need and stupidity - it was what they were right now, that was their relationship and maybe at seventeen years old, they were allowed to be idiots sometimes.

 

Mickey heard the slick sound of Ian jerking himself off a few times, making sure that he had enough lube over his cock. Then finally, his hands curled back around Mickey’s waist, the head of his cock pressing against his open and waiting hole, easing inside with groans falling from both boys’ lips; it went quite easily since Mickey was already prepared - since the first night they had fucked, not a single day had passed where they hadn’t fucked at least five times.

 

Maybe they should become tired of it at some point, and maybe it should become predictable, but fuck no. Each and every time was nothing save from mindblowing and neither of them could get close to enough of each other.

 

After a second or so of adjusting once again, Ian slowly pulled his cock back out, Mickey’s hands curling into fists and gripping the blankets underneath his body, his teeth getting a hold of his bottom lip as his boyfriend rolled back into him, his cock stretching him out so fucking good. His eyebrows furrowed, Ian’s fingers digging into his flesh. Holy fucking shit. Soft grunts and moans filled the tent around them, Ian quite quickly building up a good and hard, medium pace, his cock entering Mickey over and over again, their skin buzzing with the moment, their bodies tingling.

 

Mickey’s eyebrows furrowed even a little bit more, his mouth seemingly unable to decide between grinning and chewing on his bottom lip so hard that he tasted blood - it was all a perfect haze, their fucking some kind of a magic and intoxicating blend of unlimited lust and lazy morning sex, their muscles still aching a little bit from breaking out of their deep sleep half an hour or so ago.

 

Ian’s cock continued thrusting in and out of Mickey’s hole, a thin layer of sweat building up on both of their bodies, soft moans spilling out of their mouths. Then Mickey felt a warm kiss being dropped to his left shoulder blade, and with Ian’s change in angle, he managed to hit that one special spot inside of Mickey - the one that had him tasting so much blood because he knew that he couldn’t howl out in pleasure and wake everybody up. Holy fuck. That felt so fucking good. Ian continued rolling his hips, his mouth staying on Mickey’s back for a second, his warm mouth creating even more of a haze inside of Mickey’s brain.

 

The teenagers continued moving together quite clumsily, Ian thrusting his hips while Mickey did his best to roll backwards and meet his movements; it wasn’t all that elegant but it was enough to make them both moan and groan out loud, their hands curling into fists; Mickey’s clenching the blankets and Ian kneading the pale, perfect flesh of his waist as he rolled into him over and over again, his lips parted as he looked down, watching the way the muscles worked in his boyfriend’s back. Tensing and relaxing, taking everything that Ian was giving him. Ian fucked into him again and again, his gaze soon moving down from Mickey’s back down to his ass, watching him take his cock over and over again.

 

“Fuck” Ian couldn’t help but curse, struggling not to come right then and there. It looked so fucking good and so fucking perfect; the way Mickey’s ass was just accepting his cock, his hole begging for it. “You look so good” He couldn’t help but croak again, kneading the flesh of his waist even a little bit rougher. Mickey could do nothing but hum, continuing to rock back, feeling his stomach begin to tighten just a little bit, Ian’s cock so fucking huge and so fucking perfect inside of his ass, fitting snugly and stretching him open with that perfect mix of pain and pleasure. “So fucking close” Ian’s husky voice joined the slick one of the lube moving around in between them as Ian moved over and over again, speeding up just a little bit as Mickey’s arms shook, his eyes damn near rolling to the back of his head, his eyebrows almost completely knitted together in pleasure as his orgasm creeped closer and closer, his throat dry.

 

A thin layer of sweat was gathered on his skin, Ian grabbing his waist even tighter with one hand while he brought the other one around his boyfriend’s body, giving his cock a few good tugs while he continued fucking him a little bit harder, the tent filling up with their moans and groans and breathed names.

 

“Fu - ck” Mickey’s voice cracked right in the middle of the word, Ian’s entire body freezing, his cock staying balls deep inside of his boyfriend as they both came simultaneously, biting down at their bottom lips to keep from screaming out, their eyes clenched shut. Flashes of color and stars happened for a second, Mickey feeling Ian’s warm come filling him up, his own spilling out onto the blanket underneath his body, and then they were done, collapsing in a pile of sweaty limbs and aching muscles.

 

  
***

 

  
Mandy’s sleeping frame was sprawled out across the entire tent floor, her hair all over the place; as surprised as she had been in the very beginning when her brother had begun that simple and oddly already somewhat domestic relationship with Ian, she was ecstatic over it by now. They seemed to be really into one another - but mostly it was because she had the entire tent to herself, of course.

 

Everybody expect for Dave had to share with someone else, but she could do whatever the fuck she wanted because technically this was Mickey’s tent to - he jus hadn’t slept here even once since that first night. But today it didn’t matter all that much, because all of this was over and they were all due to go home. The truth was that as much of a burden as these last two weeks had been for her - the unbelievable heat and the somewhat annoying children - it had kind of been nice to be out of the way for a while. Out of the city.

 

The past year or so - and even before that, actually - Mickey and Mandy’s lives had been really fucking complicated. The whole process of getting emancipated, especially when they hadn’t had any money for a kickass lawyer, really - had been anything but a dance on roses. And before the thought had even popped into Mickey’s head and he had shared it with his sister, they had been beaten up pretty much every day, Mickey spending days on the street and Mandy hiding in beds with guys she didn’t like just so that they wouldn’t have to go home and face Terry or their brothers.

 

Well, technically their brothers weren’t even half as bad as Terry, but they still didn’t really feel or understand shit in the way that Mandy and Mickey did. Iggy was fine, but Colin understood literally nothing. Anyway - the point was that Mandy had really fucking enjoyed being able to complain about the heat in the woods instead of some blackeye that didn’t seem to fade. It was nice. Their life had actually changed a little bit for the better - despite their horrible odds.

 

Mickey was laying on her stomach, her arms folded with her hands tucked underneath her head as she was half asleep - well, awake technically, but she just hadn’t bothered to open her eyes yet. The morning sun was just now starting to sipper through the blue canvas that made up the tent above her head, she could tell. And the early birds were singing somewhere far in the distance - something she would not miss back in her own bed because quite frankly, the beeping was kind of starting to annoy her despite the fact that singing birds was most likely something that a normal person would long for and admire rather than be annoyed at. Mandy was a strange person; she had always known that.

 

Soon enough, she swallowed and then flipped over onto her back, her eyes slowly blinking open to take in just a tiny bit of the daylight at a time, her head aching for a second or so since she had been trapped in the darkness of sleep for such a long time.

 

As she had noticed before she had even flipped over, the sun was breaker through the material of the tent, and she was extremely thankful that she would be spending several hours in a car where she could have the air conditioner on, otherwise she probably would have ended up dying or some shit - this heat never seemed to cool down for shit. She would most likely end up spending the remaining few weeks of her summer on the couch in a bikini with a fan pointed at her - then again, that was how she had spent a lot of her summers back in Texas, too.

 

Hopefully she would be able to bully her brother into driving back, because she desperately wanted some more sleep but she knew that she couldn’t grab it right now because sticks were starting to break on the ground outside of her tent, muffled footsteps letting her know that a few people had already started their mornings.

 

A tired and long sigh escaped her nose as she brought her hand up to her face, running a flat palm over her features, hoping to rub some of the sleep out of her system before she finally sat up, starting to sort through the mess of clothes on the tent floor in favor of finding something that would never grow uncomfortable since she would be spending quite a few long hours in the car to get back to the apartment she shared with her brother.

 

It took a couple of seconds or so, but finally she decided on her regular pair of light washed and oversized denim shorts along with a grey muscle tee; after a beat she decided against her bra, because fuck it. It wasn’t comfortable, and it wasn’t as if she was going to be spending an extensive amount of time around the children today or anything like that.

 

Mandy shed the clothes she had slept in, putting on the shorts and the tee instead, quickly collecting the dark strands of hair on top of her head into a messy, half pony tail, hoping that having most of it out of her face would help with the heat at least a little bit.

 

Once she was somewhat ready to get out of the tent, she sighed a little bit again, her legs stretched out in front of her, slightly bent while she curled her hands around her legs right below her knees, dipping her neck a little bit, eyes falling closed. She had no idea what the time was, really but she would assume it was around six or something - maybe even a little bit earlier, because she remembered that Dave had briefly mentioned something about the kids’ parents wanting to come and pick them up early on the last day - why Mandy wasn’t all that sure of. If she had had a kid, she could only imagine that she would have been happy to spend some time away. But then again, some of the children here were actually pretty great and funny.

 

“Mands?” Mandy was plucked out of her own brain and random thoughts by her brother’s muffled voice coming from outside of the tent, more and more steps starting to register in her brain, indicating to her that she was probably one of the few people who wasn’t out, up and walking just quite yet. “Are you awake?”

 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m coming” Was what she called back, reaching for her half-empty duffle bag a few meters away from herself, starting to push some of the extra clothing she had laying around deep down into it, not bothering to fold or some shit, she could take care of all of that when she was back at the apartment. Not that she would, of course.

 

That bag would be laying on the hardwood floor for weeks, she wasn’t nearly productive enough to actually unpack and she had never been that kind of person. Once the zipper was closed, the let go of it and unzipped the tent instead, stepping outside, the dry ground crunching just a little bit underneath her flip flops. There were people littered all over the place, a couple of the counselors cleaning up candy wrappers and packing up a couple of the tents - a few parents seemed to be there already to pick up their children.

 

Mandy looked around for a moment, trying to figure out where it would be best to start. Two or three kids had already dropped off and the rest were over by their bags, cramming clothing and water bottles inside. Her eyes continued sweeping the camp sight, settling on Ian and her brother standing over by the fire-pit; Mickey had that ridiculous smile stretched over his lips, and Ian had his hand rested on the side of his neck, his thumb seemingly rubbing smooth circles on his chin as their mouths moved while they talked to each other.

 

Fuck, they were so sweet that Mandy just about wanted to barf right now. She shook her head a little bit to herself, deciding that going over there would not be a good thing for her upchuck reflex - she was perfectly ecstatic that Mickey had found someone he liked, and Ian seemed like a good guy in her opinion - she just didn’t want to see it all go down. Or hear it. Which she had once or twice.

 

Mandy scratched her arm a little bit, her eyes settling on Dave over by the very edge of the camp-sight, pulling a few of the tent poles out of the ground so that he could begin packing together the tent that they had belonged to. She wasn’t really even all that sure what the other counselors names were, and she sure as fuck wasn’t stepping in between the two love birds over there; Dave seemed like an all around alright guy, so that’s who she started walking towards, her arms hanging calmly and limply by her sides, the half ponytail bopping a little bit at the back of her head, her bangs starting to irritate her eyelids - she should really try to trim them whenever she got home to the apartment.

 

The leaves continued crunching a little bit underneath her feet as she moved, the sun already beating down onto the woods despite the early hour of the day; though these couple of weeks had been fine, Mandy was so fucking happy that she would get to go home and that she wouldn’t have to spend another whole day out here, battling said sun along with the complaining children.

 

“You need any help with that?” Dave looked up at Mandy’s voice, a beat passing before he nodded a little bit.

 

“Yeah, sure. Yeah, just pull those out” He nodded towards the remaining three or four tent poles that were pressed into the ground, Mandy walking over to do just that. It was silent for a while after that - not just in between Mandy and Dave, but the silence settled pretty much over the entire camp; maybe a good guess was that nobody was really all that used to being up and walking this early, nor did anybody enjoy it. “Are you and your brother happy to be going home?” Dave begun making conversation then, and Mandy hummed, dropping the tent poles where they should be and moving onto the next step.

 

“Yeah. I don’t fucking know how you deal with this heat without complaining - you do this every year?” Mandy was feeling a layer of sweat gather on her skin just from pulling the fucking tent poles out of the ground - she supposed that complaining about the Chicago heat didn’t make much sense seeing as she and Mickey had both grown up way down in Texas, but this was different - spending several days out like this, technically completely unable to get away from the heat for even a second? Sure, there was the water, and sometimes even the fabric of the tent helped block some of it out, but it was nothing compared to how much it helped to be inside of a house with a strong fan on - that was how Mandy would usually spend hot days like this one.

 

Also, with access to a shower so that she could have heaps of freezing water pouring out over her body.

 

“Yeah, I’m kind of used to it by now. It’s been a lot hotter now than it usually is, though. Which is kind of a drag. It takes a lot more of the fun out of it” Dave shrugged, and after that he and Mandy just continued to pack the tent together, neither of them feeling much of the need to say anything more. Mandy’s mouth was dry from the heat anyway, jesus fucking christ.

 

  
***

 

  
“Mandy’s probably wait - “ Ian ignored his boyfriend’s weak attempt in breaking their soft makeout session and instead went in for another kiss, their mouths unable to keep from smiling. Mickey’s back was resting against a tree, the couple somewhat hidden from the pain part of camp, his hands curled around either side of Ian’s waist, their tongues loosely sliding over each other, just tasting.

 

Enjoying; they weren’t going all that deep or all that heated because they knew that there was no possible way that they would be able to fuck right now anyway. So instead Ian just had Mickey’s face rested inside of his large hands, his lips nipping and sliding in between his over and over again, their noses pressing lightly into each other’s cheeks, their stomachs buzzing in that special way that neither of them had ever really felt before.

 

These last couple of weeks had been surreal, to say the least - to both of them. And Mickey wasn’t all that sure if this passion, this… love? He couldn’t say that yet, but maybe it was teenage love, puppy love. Whatever. He wasn’t all that sure if it would last, and he wasn’t all that sure whether they had gotten together simply because they seemed to be the only two gay guys here and it was easy for them to - but Mickey doubted that one. He knew what he felt for Ian, and he couldn’t fake that. Not in the least, not even subconsciously.

 

Things would surely change when they got back to the city - in one way or another. Going through their day to day lives couldn’t be remotely similar to just spending their days in the woods like this. But that didn’t mean that that had to be a bad thing, it didn’t mean that whatever they had would change for the worse.

 

Mickey was quite certain that he was at least well on his way to falling in love with Ian, and he wouldn’t be all that surprised if Ian felt the same way so though his stomach was turning just a little bit uncomfortably, his thoughts spinning about how everything would end up turning out, a part of him knew that whatever he and Ian had with each other, that would last. One way or another.

 

Mickey’s hands curled a little bit more, fisting some of the white fabric of his boyfriend’s t shirt, tugging him closer, their tongues sliding easily over one another’s, a happy hum sounding in the very base of Ian’s throat as he took a small step closer, deepening it just a little bit more.

 

“Hey, lovebirds. We’re all leaving” Said kiss broke at Dave’s voice, a small whine escaping Mickey’s nose though he did know that they had to get going. Ian told the older man that they would be coming soon, and then Mickey tugged him back in for one, final deep kiss before they forced themselves to separate, picking their duffel bags up off of the ground, starting to walk towards the parking lot, neither of them saying all that much; they were still kind of tired from waking up so fucking early this morning, and actually pretty much every single morning since they had arrived here to begin with.

 

Mickey could only imagine that he would end up spending at least an entire day in his own bed. Fuck, he was looking forwards to laying down on that thing.

 

When Ian and Mickey made it to the parking lot, Mandy and Dave’s cars were the only ones left - Mickey assumed that Ian and Dave were good enough friends that they drove together. Once Dave saw them, he got into the drivers seat and Mickey walked over to the large, military green car that he shared with his twin sister, opening one of the backdoors and throwing his bag inside. Mandy was already sitting in the passenger-seat, waiting for him. Once Mickey slammed the car door closed again, a pair of hands were immediately placed onto his hips, and his lips pulled up into a smile - he wished that he would have been able to stop it, but there was no point; Ian made him happy - he turned around, his boyfriend pressing him up against the large car, his bottom lip captured in between his teeth.

 

“What, man?” Mickey asked, using his right hand to push his glasses a little bit further up his nose, Ian seemingly struggling to make sure that he didn’t chuckle at the act that he still somehow found so incredibly attractive for some fucked up reason that Mickey was yet to really wrap his head around. His hands fell easily onto Ian’s hips, the redhead’s tongue swiping across his bottom lip before he spoke.

 

“You and me, Mick, right? Even when we get back?” Mickey’s head moved up and down into a nod even before his boyfriend had finished the question.

 

“You and me. You’re my boyfriend, man. ‘Course “ Mickey thought that maybe he could see Ian’s happiness at the words show in the way that his cheeks flushed a little bit of a deeper shade of pink, right before both teenagers’ lips tugged right back up into those ridiculously large smiles that only they could drag out of each other - nobody else.

 

Their tongues slid easily over one another’s, hands resting on their clothes bodies as they kissed goodbye for the moment. They didn’t pull away until they heard Mandy’s annoyed voice coming from inside the twins’ car. They separated with a chuckle, and Ian dropped one last chaste kiss to his boyfriend’s lips before he walked across the parking lot to get into Dave’s car, Mickey getting into his own.

 

As they begun the drive home, they were both happier and more in love than they had ever been in the past, both of them feeling certain that they would last. That they would be happy and that nothing would ever be able to break them.

 

Of course - that’s not quite what happened.


	7. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe that was good logic, or maybe it was really poor logic. Either way, they were two seventeen year old boys well on their way to falling in love - so logic? None.

Mickey’s teeth dug deep into his bottom lip, his chest heaving heavily up and down in exertion as he pushed himself, his neck tilted upwards, eyebrows furrowed. The low grunts falling from Mickey’s lips blended together with Ian’s moans while his thighs started burning with the exhaustion that came from riding a cock as if it was some kind of olympic sport.

 

A thin vein bulged out of his neck, practically every single inch of his bare skin flushed red, his bed creaking underneath them both. Ian currently wasn’t able to do all that much other than just lay there and take it while his boyfriend fucked himself on his cock; his right hand was lifted above his head, tightly holding onto the old, metal headboard, his other one resting safely on Mickey’s right thigh, digging into the pale flesh.

 

Mickey’s mouth was completely dry, his left hand on top of Ian’s, curling around the headboard, their fingers tightly laced together while his other one was wrapped around his cock, getting himself off in time to his own movements as he continued riding his boyfriend as if his fucking life depended on it or some shit.

 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck” Ian chanted, his eyes screwed shut in pleasure for another moment before he forced them open, thirsting to watch. Mickey looked so fucking amazing; seemingly holding nothing back whatsoever as he moved up and down his cock, taking him over and over and over again at a fast pace, his hand squeezing Ian’s in some kind of act of affection though this wasn’t making love - this was fucking. Fast and dirty and perfect. “Take my cock, just like that. You look so fucking good riding me”

 

The words got an appreciative groan out of Mickey, who’s eyes were still clenched shut, his the muscles in his chest pulling together for a moment as he sped up a little bit more, the sound of the old, creaking bed increasing, blending with the ‘slick slick slick’ sound of the lube moving in between their bodies as they fucked.

 

It was literally in the middle of the afternoon, the daylight pouring in through the large window in Mickey’s bedroom in the old apartment. Mandy was probably sitting on the couch outside in the livingroom, struggling not to throw up at the sounds they were making, but frankly, they couldn’t bring themselves to give a shit - hopefully she was smart enough that she had headphones on by now anyway.

 

Mickey’s teeth dug deep enough into his bottom lip that he was beginning to taste blood; it all felt way too fucking good. Ian’s hand digging into his thigh, his perfect cock entering him over and over again. His eyebrows were completely furrowed together, his brain unable to quite comprehend what was happening; he felt as if he was in a complete and utter daze, nothing existing but this.

 

The pleasure and the beautiful cock fucking him to pieces. Ian’s hand tightened on his flesh, his nails digging into his skin, more of those dark moans tumbling out of his mouth, turning Mickey on even further. The bed continued creaking underneath them while they moved, neither able to get enough of each other - neither of them able to feel as if they were fucking hard enough or fast enough.

 

“Yes. Oh, yeah” Mickey sighed darkly, starting to become too exhausted to ride his boyfriend, but continuing anyway. His hand moved up and down his own cock at a fast pace, a small amount of precome sliding down the shaft, his entire body buzzing in high gear, the other one tightening over Ian’s, his thumb moving a little bit over the soft skin, letting them keep that sign of affection.

 

The entire room was filled by a dirty haze of warmth and sex, all of the sounds blending together at a high volume - Mickey’s grunts and Ian’s moans, the creaking of the bed and the dirty ‘slick slick slick’ of Ian’s cock entering Mickey’s ass over and over and over again. Ian’s hand tightened on Mickey’s thigh even a little bit further, almost as if he was holding on for life; his eyes were closed once again, his neck curved and lifted off of the pillow beneath his head, more and more sounds falling out of his mouth the closer he came.

 

Mickey winced, the muscles in his thighs just about growing numb by now; but he forced himself to continue moving anyway. This felt too fucking good - having control like this, taking Ian like this. Somehow topping yet still doing what he loved; taking his boyfriend’s cock inside of his ass.

 

Finally, his teeth let go of his bottom lip as his right hand moved from his cock to Ian’s collarbone, his entire body slumping forwards though he continued moving his hips, the perfect cock entering him over and over again, keeping them both in that daze. Ian’s eyes stayed closed, though he greedily accepted the kiss Mickey planted onto his lips. Their tongues quickly tangled together, fighting for dominance, neither teenagers having the energy to open their eyes as they stumbled closer to the edge with every single movement, every single thrust.

 

“Fucking exhausted” Mickey managed to mumble in between kisses, their noses digging into each other’s cheeks, saliva being spread out all the way up to their noses and down to their chins. “Flip me” It didn’t take more than a second or so before Ian’s sex-dazed brain caught onto what his boyfriend meant, and he pressed one last, deep kiss to his lips, pulling his bottom lip with him for a moment as they broke it, their hands leaving the headboard and each other for Ian to easily be able to flip Mickey onto his back, their heads ending up at one of the corners at the foot of the bed.

 

Ian’s cock accidentally slipped out of Mickey for a moment as they changed positions, but he made up for it by placing both of his hands at the back of his thighs, pushing his knees all the way up to his chest and entering his boyfriend once again; probably harder than he ever had before, his hips quickly picking up a frantic pace, both of their eyes screwed shut as the dirty sound of their skin slapping together grew even louder, blending together with the creaking of the old bed-frame.

 

“Fuck!” Mickey cursed loudly, his body completely limp and exhausted as Ian pounded him over and over and over again, his fingers digging into the flesh of his thighs. The fact that his boyfriend was practically folding Mickey in half hurt just a tiny bit, but it felt so fucking good, too. Being manhandled like this, having no choice but to just lay there and take it as Ian thrusted his hips, fucking him with frantic movements, the room filled with a daze of sex and desperation.

 

Mickey’s hands rested by his sides, his hands fisting the covers next to his burning body; his toes curling above their heads - something that he probably should have found embarrassing, but he was too gone and too fucked out to give a shit and Ian was way too good at quite literally fucking his brains out. “That feels so fucking good. Just like that - ugh - give it to me just like that, fuck” Mickey’s words gave Ian even more confidence, and he started to move his hips even more frantically, fighting to go as hard as he possibly could, turning their bones into nothing.

 

Ian’s head was tilted upwards, eyes clenched shut, a layer of sweat covering his body as he tightened his hold on Mickey’s thighs even further, his legs almost touching his chest by now. It all felt too fucking good; Mickey’s warmth enveloping him over and over again, taking his cock in a way that nobody else ever had. His boyfriend was the bossiest and the grumpiest bottom he had ever fucked, but he did it so fucking good. He enjoyed it in a way that nobody ever had, beautiful sounds falling from his lips.

 

“Shh - wait, wait, wait” Ian furrowed his eyebrows, looking down at Mickey in confusion, their eyes connecting as he slowed down his movements just a tiny bit, thinking he had hurt his boyfriend or done something else wrong, but the thick lips were pulled up into a lazy grin as his chest heaved up and down. “Just go slow for a bit, alright?” Ian hummed, obeying pretty much immediately, the eye contact staying established in between them as he slowed down, letting go of his boyfriend’s thighs. Mickey caught on, wrapping his legs around Ian’s middle as the taller man laid down on top of him, supporting himself by placing his forearms on either side of Mickey’s head.

 

Ian rolled his hips at a slow, almost torturous pace, only moving every other second or so as their faces rested dangerously close to each other, their breaths fanning each other’s lips, eyes connected. Mickey lifted his hands to the back of his boyfriend’s neck, feeling the short red hairs on the tips of his fingers. Ian swallowed, struggling to keep this pace; it felt too fucking good to the point where he just wanted more. He could feel every single ridge and every single slight dip of his boyfriend’s inner walls, the heat trapped in between them as they fucked, moving together.

 

“Feel good?” Ian placed his lips to Mickey’s jawline as he spoke the question, his cock sliding in and out of Mickey.

 

“Yes. Fuck. Fucking perfect cock” Mickey hummed in response, tightening his legs a little bit around his boyfriend’s body, his eyebrows furrowing in pleasure as Ian pressed one more kiss to his jawline before lifting his head up once again, their eyes gluing together, his hips continuing to roll, torturing them both with the slow, almost loving pace. “But speed up again, man. Need it hard” Ian chuckled, placing a deep, desperate kiss to his boyfriend’s lips.

 

“Fucking love it when you boss me around” He spoke after they had pulled apart; Mickey’s lips parted to spit out some sassy comeback, but that was quickly forgotten when Ian moved his hands down to curl around his waist, immediately picking that frantic - almost painful - pace back up, completely pounding into him with everything he had, his cock slamming into Mickey’s ass over and over and over again.

 

“Oh! That - you fucking - ! Your fucking cock - just - just fucking fuck me! Just like that, you’re - you fucking - “ Mickey’s head was thrown back against the sheets underneath him, his eyes screwed shut, fingers digging deep into the pale skin of Ian’s upper back.

 

All Ian could do was grin down at his bottom, watching how he was ruining him as he pounded into him, surely hitting his prostate as the bed creaked and creaked, the room once again filling with that slick sound of the lube moving in between them, blending together with their grunts and moans and Mickey’s cries as he was being slammed deep into the mattress, unable to even feel his body anymore. He wasn’t aware enough to feel like a human, it was as if he existed purely for Ian to fuck and it felt so fucking good.

 

“You take my cock so fucking good, look at you. I’m gonna fucking come. You want it, Mick? You want me to come inside of you?” Ian dug his fingers deep into the flesh of Mickey’s waist as he sped up even a little bit more, pounding him as hard as he could, watching his boyfriend practically crumble into pieces underneath him, his face screwed up, curses falling from his lips as he seemingly had zero control of his own actions. “Tell me” Ian grunted then, when Mickey hadn’t answered. He continued pounding his ass, his teeth digging into his bottom lip, his mouth still settled into that grin, his hips moving at a frantic pace.

 

“Yes” Mickey finally managed to croak. “Give me that fucking load, come on” Ian hummed, fighting not to let his own eyes clench shut in pleasure, this felt too fucking good. Looked too good. Mickey was moving underneath him like a fucking snake or some shit, unable to stay still, too much pleasure shaking his veins, clouding his brain. It was impossible for him to just lay there any longer - though Ian was giving him everything, he wanted even more. Jesus fucking christ, how did they fit together so well? His legs tightened around his boyfriend’s waist, Ian’s hands tightening in return as he looked down at the boy underneath him.

 

“I’m gonna come so fucking hard, baby. You look so good. Fuck, talk to me” Ian grunted, slowing down the pace of his movements and instead focusing on making his thrusts as hard as he possibly could, punching Mickey’s prostate, the bed creaking bed moving beneath them. Mickey cried out at the feeling, struggling to collect himself enough to get some understandable words past his lips all while Ian continued fucking him so good.

 

“Your cock is so f - so fucking big. Make me feel so good, Ian. Just - just come inside of me. Baby, come for me. Come for me, baby. Come on” His voice was dark and rough, he was using the petname simply because he knew that nothing got his boyfriend going more.

 

Those may be the most perfect words that Ian had ever heard in his entire life, and he looked down at his boyfriend, who’s eyes were still completely screwed shut in pleasure, his body moving in desperation. Finally, Ian tightened his hold on Mickey’s body even a little bit further, his own completely freezing, staying buried inside of his boyfriend’s perfect ass as he came, filling him up with his load, neck stretched upwards, eyes clenched shut as curses and grunts fell out of his lips, some kind of white light clouding his soul for a second. Heavy breaths fell out of his exhausted body as he recovered just enough to keep moving his throbbing hips, one hand leaving Mickey’s hips in favor of wrapping around his cock, jerking him off in time to the lazy rolls of his hips, both pairs of eyes still closed.

 

“Yes. Right fucking there. Just - “

 

Then Mickey was done as well, his body tensing, Ian continuing to move his cock in and out of him, leading him through the intense high, a good amount of come covering his hand as cries and moans fell out from in between Mickey’s lips, his eyebrows furrowed. Ian looked down at him, watching the beautiful was in which he froze and then relaxed, his face flushed as his fingers continued digging into the pale, freckly skin at the back of Ian’s neck, that one vein poking out of his skin just a little bit.

 

When they were both done, their bodies couldn’t hold up anymore. Ian collapsed directly on top of his boyfriend, the teenagers slotting their lips together into a sweaty, sloppy mess. They weren’t very old and they weren’t very experienced with any of this shit, really - but with each other it was always completely mindblowing anyway. Whether it was just kissing or if it was fucking.

 

Mickey hummed into it, their tongues sliding over each other, their stomachs buzzing in the way that it always seemed to whenever they were together. Mickey’s hands were still on the back of Ian’s neck, keeping him close for another moment, feeling his boyfriend’s mouth pull up into a happy and content smile right before they broke the kiss.

 

Ian forced himself up a little bit despite his aching muscles; he gently eased his cock out of Mickey’s hole, both of them sighing at the feeling. Mickey let his head drop to the covers beneath his head once again, his eyes falling closed as Ian reached for the damp washcloth on the nightstand that was still there since this morning. He wiped some of the come off of his own hand, and then Mickey’s soft stomach before gently nudging his legs further apart, collecting some of what was dripping out of him.

 

It was only about a day or two after they had gotten back into town that they had gone to make sure that they were clean and could keep fucking without a condom - granted, had they for some reason not been, then the damaged surely would already have been done, but they still felt safer when they were completely sure. And since they were only having sex with each other, they didn’t see much of a reason to buy a pack of condoms now. Maybe that was good logic, or maybe it was really poor logic. Either way, they were two seventeen year old boys well on their way to falling in love - so logic? None.

 

Ian threw the cloth to the side and collapsed next to Mickey, both boys staring up at the ceiling as they caught their breaths after that, their chests heaving up and down, lips parted and pupils surely still a little bit too big despite the daylight that was still pouring in through the large window in the wall.

 

It didn’t take all that long before their breathing synced up, Ian’s right hand reaching for Mickey’s left one, lacing their fingers together and pressing a soft kiss to the skin before he pushed himself off of the bed with a grunt, struggling not to let his legs collapse underneath him while he reached for his boxers that laid discarded onto the bedroom floor. Mickey swallowed, tearing his gaze from the ceiling and looking over at his boyfriend as he got dressed.

 

It had almost been a week and a half since they had gotten back from that summer camp, and the truth was that things in between them were honestly kind of amazing. Maybe a small part of him had believed that whatever they had would break - that it would be as if some kind of magic spell just lost its power whenever they got back to the city and back to their regular lives, but surprisingly, that hadn’t happened.

 

Then again, it was still the summer so they weren’t really back to their lives just yet. The couple spent most of their time up in Mickey and Mandy’s apartment, either fucking or sitting on the couch in front of the fan to complain about the heat. It wasn’t as if much could go wrong. But, still - almost every single good thing in Mickey’s life had eventually cracked and disappeared. Ever since he was little.

 

So this felt good - maybe they weren’t going to be together ten years from now - or even a month from now, who the fuck knew? But right now things were good; better than good, actually. Things were simple. Not just with Ian and Mickey, but things were simple in Mickey and Mandy’s life overall, and maybe they deserved that after everything.

 

“What?” Mickey was tugged out of his thoughts by Ian looking down at him, half dressed with a thoughtful look on his face. He stayed quiet for a second or so, and then Mickey just shrugged - as good as he could while he was laying down on his back, that was - his tongue darted out, swiping across his bottom lip right as he pushed his aching body off of the bed. “Nothing, man. Just thinking” He sighed, stepping around the bed to where his boyfriend stood, blue eyes falling onto green.

 

Ian swallowed. It was sort of cheesy, he supposed, but he and Mickey had been together for a little over a month now and it still kind of screwed with his head. That he had been so fucking into this guy, that he had been such a fucking idiot around him and that he had been completely convinced that he was the hottest human being that he had ever laid eyes on, yet he had been sure that Mickey would never want him back. All of that wasn’t even two months behind them, but somehow they were here now. Together. Happy. In love? Puppy love, maybe. Yeah. It was strange. But so fucking good.

 

Mickey reached for his boxers, putting them on along with one of Ian’s white v necks that had been laying on the floor for days; then he walked over to the nightstand and lifted the back of cigarettes up, lighting one and placing it to his lips as he turned around, feeling the smoke fill his lungs up. The sultry green eyes looked into the blue ones, both of their mouths carrying some kind of smirks; or maybe they were just smiles.

 

Mickey let his hand drop to his side, the smoke escaping his lips before he took two steps forwards, reaching the cigarette out, Ian accepting it, but not before darting down to press a deep, but simple kiss to Mickey’s lips, knowing that he would never be able to get enough of him. Mickey hummed, frowning a little bit in confusion when Ian broke it and stepped around him, walking towards the nightstand with the cigarette dangling in between two of his fingers.

 

When Mickey saw what Ian was lifting up, all he could do was chuckle, the glasses being placed back onto his face now that they were no longer moving in a way that would make them fall off. Ian’s grin was blinding, his face still slightly flushed, not much of a contrast against the red buzzcut on top of his head. Mickey bit the inside of his cheek, using his right hand to push the glasses a little bit further up his face, Ian chuckling.

 

“You’re a fucking idiot, man” Mickey muttered, though unable to keep himself from mirroring his boyfriend’s grin as he pushed at his chest, stealing the cigarette from in between his fingers before turning to exit the bedroom, walking into the livingroom - well, and the kitchen since it was all the same room. The apartment that Mickey and Mandy had managed to afford wasn’t that bad, actually.

 

Sure, it wasn’t in the bed condition, sometimes it got way too cold and sometimes it got way too hot. But it was beyond large enough for the twins. They both got their own rooms, and the main area of the apartment was large enough to do cartwheels in - not that they did that. Unless Mandy was really fucking drunk, in which case she sometimes did, and Mickey just sat on the couch, laughing his ass off. Pretty much all of the flooring in the entire place was beige carpet - save for the tiny bathroom, of course. And it was surprisingly clean for such a crappy building.

 

Mickey’s steps were heavy as the worn out couple headed towards the couch, the large but cheap television screen showing some random kind of cartoon, the sound almost muted because Mandy wasn’t paying attention. She was sitting at the edge of the couch, the old laptop placed onto her bare legs, a large pair of headphones covering her ears, muffled Metallica music slipping out, indicating that she hadn’t heard too much of Ian and Mickey’s fucking - thankfully so. She had probably put them on with the intention to avoid that, but that didn’t change the fact that it was a good thing.

 

Mickey sank down next to her with a soft sigh, reaching for the remote to turn the television up, feeling the fan quickly cool his face down; he had to admit that this fucking heat was a little bit easier to handle when he didn’t have to spend literally every single second of every single day out on the woods where he couldn’t escape it in the very least, but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t still a complete drag. It was annoying as fuck.

 

Mickey hadn’t noticed his boyfriend walking over to the fridge, but a couple of seconds later, the couch cushion on his right dipped a little bit, Ian sitting down as he handed Mickey a bottle of beer to match the one that stood half empty in front of Mandy.

 

“Thanks, man” Mickey said, not really taking his eyes off of the stupid cartoons as he screwed the top off before throwing his feet up onto the dark, old coffee table in front of him, finding some space in between the weed and empty cans that had once contained a cheaper kind of beer.

 

“Welcome, babe” Ian hummed, his lips resting against Mickey’s temple for a moment before he leaned back in his own corner of the couch, the weight of his legs being thrown over his boyfriend’s as they both got comfortable, eyes focused on the television screen.

 

Mickey had his head tilted slightly to the side, a completely comfortable silence settling throughout the livingroom - save for the light white background noises of the fan, the cartoons and the quiet death-metal that was still escaping Mandy’s large headphones. Mickey did his best to shut out the heat, feeling the fan help, even if it was just a little bit. His hand was lazily curled around the bottle of beer, his other one resting over his boyfriend’s lower legs.

 

He wasn’t all that sure how and why he had become this comfortable around Ian this quickly, but he supposed that it had something to do with the fact that they had seen each other every single day for weeks. Had that summer camp not been a thing, then they probably wouldn’t be at all as deep into their relationship today as they were. But to Mickey it felt really fucking good - to have someone next to him who just threw his legs over his without thinking and knowing that if he wanted to, it could easily be the other way around as well. It all just felt… safe.

 

Which was scary, of course. Because through growing up, safe had never really been a thing. Not for anybody in the Milkovich family, and especially not for the girl and the little boy who had for some fucked up reason stopped growing at five foot seven. But with Ian - actually, not just with Ian, but since they had moved here to Chicago - safe felt like a possibility. A good life felt like a possibility - it felt as if both Mandy and Mickey could have a pretty good chance of starting over.

 

The thin layer of sweat on his body was finally starting to dry up a little bit, making Mickey feel calmer, though of course the apartment was still practically a steam-room. It wasn’t that bad; they had spent a lot of their money on a good fan just to make sure that they wouldn’t end up completely melting into nothing. Half of Mickey’s brain was focusing on Snoopy, half of it somewhere else entirely, his thumb absentmindedly rubbing smooth circles on Ian’s shins. All of it felt oddly domestic. Being this close to someone.

 

_“Don’t you trust me, Charlie Brown?”_

 

_“No, I don’t trust you”_

 

_“Are you one of those people who is going to go through life without ever trusting anyone? That’s no way to live, Charlie Brown”_

 

_“Maybe she’s right. A person can’t go through life always doubting everything, and not trusting anyone”_

 

Mickey felt a soft touch to the back of his neck, and he looked over to Ian, the other teenager blinking softly at him. It was stupid as fuck that those words make him think, that he was actually relating to a fucking cartoon, but he couldn’t help but feel his heart ease up a little bit at the words that had just come out of the crappy speakers next to the television. It was fucking true. Mickey had gone through his entire life so far, trusting nobody but himself. And possibly his twin sister as well.

 

Then he had met Ian, and now… did he trust Ian? He trusted him enough to laugh with, he trusted him enough to let him fuck him, and he trusted him enough to show a couple of his more vulnerable sides, sure. Did Mickey trust Ian enough to believe that he would never ever end up breaking his heart? He didn’t have an answer for that one, to be honest.

 

The truth was that Ian and Mickey hadn’t even been together for much more than a month, and at that point, it wasn’t really possible to know someone, was it? Much less trust them with everything in your body. So… It was scary. Mickey supposed that he both knew and trusted his boyfriend as much as he could, but after everything - after years of learning that he could count on nobody but himself - letting that notion go was difficult. Ian was a good guy, he had good intentions - Mickey somehow felt as if he knew this. And he trusted Ian to some degree, of course he did. How could he not?

 

Mickey just also really fucking wished that he knew how to completely trust him without holding back. How to let go of that wall that he always had up in between himself and the outside world. Even when Mickey had his legs spread and was begging for Ian’s cock, it still wasn’t completely down. Then again, maybe that wasn’t something that he needed to consciously work on. Maybe the further Ian and Mickey got into their relationship, the more it would start to come down. The more he would begin to trust his boyfriend. Hopefully that was the answer.

 

All the while Mickey’s head spun, their eyes stayed connected and Ian rubbed smooth circles in the short, black hairs at the back of his neck, continuing to blink softly at him. Unknowingly - much of the same thoughts were happening in both teenagers’ heads. Neither Ian nor Mickey had grown up with people who had a lot of time for them, or who never disappointed them. Truth and trust were both to concepts that were quite scary. There just wasn’t a better word for it - it was scary.

 

But Ian and Mickey were together, they were happy and they were working towards something - despite the fact that they weren’t sure what exactly they were working towards. Things were good. In their relationship as well as in their personal lives. Things were… good. Maybe that wasn’t very melodramatic, but it was the truth. And for now, good was… good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go ahead and kiss the fluff and the happiness goodbye now, because it's all ending in the next chapter. Bye, bye for now. Lmao <3


	8. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I really… fucking like you, Ian. Alright? But…” That word. That’s when Mickey saw Ian flinch. But he had to do this. He had to try to explain this shit somehow. “Look… meeting your friends, and… seeing how many people love you, and - you play football by the way, man? I didn’t fucking know that” Ian swallowed visibly. He knew where Mickey was going with this. “It just fucking… makes me realize we don’t know each other that fucking well yet, man. But you’re here every single day, we’re practically living together and I… it’s all too fucking much. Too fast”

One of Rihanna’s new songs boomed in the distance as Ian, Mickey and Mandy walked over the pavement, heading towards the beach, their feet moving somewhat in sync, hitting the ground at a matched pace. The darkness had since long fallen over the city, the clock ticking closer to eleven. Frankly, Mickey didn’t really see the point in having a party the night before school started - he would much rather have had Ian come over to the apartment so that they could have beer and watch some shitty fucking Van Damme movie that his boyfriend for some fucked up reason seemed to love.

 

But no - apparently this whole beach party, bonfire thing was a tradition and there had been nothing Mickey would have been able to say to convince Ian not to go - or convince him not to drag him with him - it didn’t exactly help that Mandy had started fucking jumping up and down at the thought of a party either. Damn. Maybe Mickey was just a loser, but quite frankly, people and parties had never been his thing. Nor had loud music unless he got to choose exactly what it was.

 

Alas, here they were. The pavement ended and the sand started, giving the three of them the perfect view of the party that was already in full swing. The huge bonfire was impossible to miss, quite a few people gathered around it. The music continued pouring out over the area, some kind of sexy beat that Mickey couldn’t figure out what it was to save his life, but surely his boyfriend and sister knew. Fucking stereotypical ass teenagers.

 

They all continued walking over the sand, some of it slipping inside of Mickey’s old chucks and annoying the absolute shit out of him. He and Ian were both wearing the same pairs of surfer shorts as they had practically lived in all throughout summer camp, Mickey wearing his with a white v neck while Ian had a black muscle tee on, standing out against the green color of the shorts.

 

The heat in Chicago wasn’t at all as bad now as it had been a few weeks ago; it was heading towards fall, after all. But some of the summer still remained in the air, keeping them warm enough tonight. The huge fire didn’t exactly hurt either.

 

Mandy’s hair was tied up into a bun on top of her head, leaving her bangs completely out of it. Her face was dusted with a little bit of makeup - the winged eyeliner being the main guest on her face - her body dressed in a pair of tight, dark blue jean shorts along with one of her brother’s old and worn out Metallica tees that one of them had at some point in the past ripped the sleeves off of, leaving her skinny and pale arms exposed in the flickering light of the bonfire as they all walked closer. Ian had his left arm resting around his boyfriend’s waist, and Mickey did his best to lean into it.

 

It felt kind of strange, though - sure, back at summer camp even the kids had figured out that they were… together, it had been quite difficult to hide from anybody at all. But they had all been kind of in their own bubble up there in the woods, and Dave and the other counselors had been rushing around, stressing about their own shit. Nobody had had any time to care about Ian and Mickey’s relationship, even if they would have felt the need to - which Mickey doubted.

 

And since they had all gotten back, Ian and Mickey had spent pretty much all of their time up in the twins’ apartment. Sure, they got coffee once in a while and simple stuff like that, but technically this party was the first time that they were in public together. For real, for real. Among people that they knew. Well - among people that Ian knew, at least. Mickey would be lying if he were to say that it didn’t feel kind of… nerve-wracking.

 

Mickey was so fucking caught up in his own head that he at first barely noticed the loud voices coming towards them and Ian’s hand leaving his waist in favor of wrapping around somebody else’s. Mickey and Mandy both stopped walking, watching Ian’s face light up into a grin while he hugged both the boy and the girl, all of them laughing and talking in each other’s mouths in a way that made it quite difficult to decipher exactly what they were saying, but Mickey caught ‘Oh my god, I missed you!’ and ‘How are you doing?’ and ‘It’s been so fucking long, how was your summer?’

 

The twins just stood awkwardly to the side while the greeting happened, but Mickey had a feeling that his sister felt a fuck of a lot more comfortable with the whole thing than he did. Truth be told, he didn’t like this. Any of it - the party, the fire, the loud friends - it just wasn’t his thing. So he kept quiet and to himself as much as he could. After surely several minutes of Ian talking to and hugging his friends, he turned to Mickey and Mandy, placing his arm back around his boyfriend’s waist.

 

“Guys, this is Scooter and Sabrina, my best friends. Scoot, Sab - this is my boyfriend, Mickey and his sister Mandy” Despite the uncomfortable stirring in the pit of Mickey’s stomach that came from being at a place as crowded as this one, he couldn’t fight the tiny smile that came upon his lips, just from hearing the introduction fall so easily from Ian’s lips. It felt good.

 

Almost as good as the weight of his arm around his waist, tugging them close together. Scooter and Sabrina both said hello to Mandy at first, probably because she actually had all of her limbs free to shake Scooter’s hand and accept Sabrina’s quick hug, while Mickey stayed tightly pressed against Ian. Not that he could complain.

 

Mickey - being Mickey - observed them both in the few seconds it took for them to formally meet his sister. Scooter and Sabrina. The names sounded like two siblings if he had ever heard, and they didn’t look way too different either. However, from the way that Scooter’s arm was thrown around Sabrina’s neck, holding her close, he would assume that they were a couple.

 

And the more Mickey looked, he realized that they probably weren’t the same ethnicity, either. Sabrina had long, brown hair, probably double the length of Mandy’s; her eyes, smile and lips were all large in a way that made her look kind and insanely approachable. She seemed to be just that, too, by the way she gave Mandy a hug, just like that. Something about her just screamed warmth. The only problem Mickey had with her so far was that she seemed to be the loudest of the two - loud had never been Mickey’s thing.

 

Her boyfriend - Mickey assumed - was a lot taller. Maybe even a little bit taller than Ian. Mickey couldn’t quite determine the color of his hair in this light, but it looked as if it was maybe a light brown shade, quite long though shaved on the sides and probably the back, too. A casual smile rested on his face, the ring in the side of his nose glimmering a little bit in the flickering light of the large fire behind him.

 

Though it was an unusual thing for Mickey to do, he shook both of their hands and forced his face to do something other than frown for once, even if it was just to smooth out the folds in his forehead for a second or two. For some reason, it just felt important to him - that Scooter and Sabrina didn’t hate him. They didn’t have to like him or whatever the fuck, it wasn’t that important. But Mickey kind of… liked Ian. A lot. So if his friends hated him, then what would that do? Look at Mickey growing into somewhat of an adult. Jesus fuck. Was this what it was like being in a relationship?

 

“We like them, Ian” Sabrina grinned at the couple, almost as if she was able to read Mickey’s mind or some fucked up shit like that. For some reason it soothed something inside of him, oh my god he was turning into a pussy. “Mickey can stay” Ian chuckled, Scooter tugging Sabrina a little bit closer to his side.

 

“It’s about time you found someone. We were worried about you” Scooter joked loudly, somebody turning up the music somewhere across the beach. The words dragged another chuckle out of Ian’s mouth, Mandy’s laughter joining as Sabrina raised her eyebrows, placing a hand in the middle of Scooter’s chest and tugging absentmindedly at the thin, light blue fabric of his v neck.

 

“Ugh, I ag-are!” She joked, looking up at Ian as the redhead tugged his boyfriend a little bit closer, Mickey’s stomach being a little bit soothed with the act. “We love you, but this whole thing was starting to feel like a creepy threesome” Sabrina gestured quickly between her boyfriend and her best friend, Ian tilting his head upwards as more laughter tumbled out of his mouth, his fingers gently digging into Mickey’s side.

 

Mickey wasn’t doing or saying all that much, he just stood by Ian’s side; it wasn’t that he was nervous persay, but this sort of thing had never been something he enjoyed. Mandy had always love parties and shit, meanwhile the only time Mickey would ever appreciate a party was if it was held inside and he could sit on a couch and drink beer and smoke weed while the music boomed around him, but it didn’t seem as if that was much of a possibility tonight, if he was being honest.

 

They all continued talking for a little bit, but five, ten minutes later, Scooter and Sabrina decided to go over to the eighteen year olds that were standing over by the bonfire to see if they could score something to drink - Mandy came with them, of course. They took to each other quite quickly. Probably because Mandy was a lot louder and more approachable than Mickey was.

 

Not that Mickey minded, that had always been them. Mandy was the one with the bark and Mickey was the one with the bite. As the three of them disappeared a little bit further into the distance, leaving the couple on the sidelines, still a little bit on the edge of the beach, though they were close enough that they could pick out the faces in the crowd and see everything going on.

 

Ian’s arm left Mickey’s waist for a second, but before he could complain about it, it was wrapped around his neck instead, Ian’s lips being placed against his temple, making him have to fight a grin despite the fact that his stomach still turned a little bit at the obvious public display of affection. No matter how uncomfortable he was in or with a situation, it seemed Ian would always be able to make him feel better.

 

“How about we find somewhere a little bit more private, Mick? Re-live our summer for a bit” Ian’s voice had a warm, tickle to it, his breath hitting Mickey’s skin in a way that made him want to push him up against a tree and just do him right fucking there, his cock immediately starting to stir at the words. However - they were in the middle of a crowded party, and even if they would find somewhere a little bit more private, there would still be the risk of someone seeing them. People were littered all over the place.

 

Ian continued holding Mickey close to him, waiting for an answer as Mickey looked around, gnawing at the inside of his bottom lip. He wanted to - fuck he wanted to - but just because he didn’t have a problem with being with a guy, that didn’t mean that he was suddenly into public displays of affection - whether it was a kiss on the cheek, an arm around his waist or a fucking blowjob up against a tree.

 

This aside - this was a party full of sixteen to eighteen year-olds. The odds that Ian and Mickey would be the first or only couple to sneak away for a blowjob or a fuck tonight - or even in the past hour - were slim to none. The odds that anybody would care were even tinier.

 

Besides, Ian mouth had gone from resting against his temple to pressing soft kisses against his cheek, and now he was moving onto his neck, continuing to hold his boyfriend close to him as he moved his mouth a little bit more, some more tongue and saliva becoming involved as Rihanna’s new music continued booming out over the area - Mickey did know this one; maybe it was called ‘Needed Me’, but he wasn’t all too sure. He just knew he had heard it coming from Mandy’s room a shit-ton of times. The beat was quite heavy - sexy, maybe - and loud, which only kind of added to Mickey’s erection continuing to grow as his boyfriend kissed his neck softly, waiting for an answer.

 

“Fuck it” Mickey finally breathed, nudging Ian’s face a little bit out of his neck. “There’s no fucking arguing with a boner, come on” Ian hummed, that ridiculous grin stuck on his lips as he pressed a wet kiss to his boyfriend’s temple before they let go of each other just enough so that they were able to move away from the crowd a little bit.

 

The area of sand was quite huge around here - the main reason why they always held the last hurray beach party at the same spot every year - there were also quite a few trees littered by the edge on one side, which was where Ian led Mickey, their hearts beating against their ribcages. Not because they were nervous or some shit, but because of this - them. How good it all felt. They were young and stupid and reckless, and - Mickey’s thoughts were cut short when Ian pressed him up against one of the thick trees, keeping them somewhat out of sight as he captured his boyfriend’s lips in between his own.

 

Mickey couldn’t help the hum that sounded in the base of his own throat, his eyes falling closed at the feeling, his right hand fisting some of the black fabric that was hanging off of Ian’s perfect frame, tugging him even closer. The music continued blasting in the distance, people screaming and laughing loudly blending with the sound, the smell of the fire joining in - all of it adding up to one thing. Summer.

 

One last stupid, hot night of summer. When it was like this - when it was just Ian and Mickey with other people in the vast distance, Mickey found that he did like the idea of this party. He liked it a lot, jesus christ. It made him feel… young. Young and reckless, and yes - he was seventeen, so he should be feeling like this all the time, but he and Mandy had dealt with so much shit growing up that they had never really gotten the chance to be kids or teenagers. Just making out with his boyfriend at the edge of a party was such a simple thing, but it made Mickey feel quite good.

 

Mickey reached up and wrapped his free arm around the back of Ian’s neck, tugging him down a little bit, the kiss deepening, his glasses bumping the bridge of his boyfriend’s nose when they pulled apart and tilted their heads to the other side, going in for even more, Mickey swallowing Ian’s ‘hum’s now and again, their tongues sliding over each other sloppily. They weren’t very experienced, and even after all of the kissing they had done in the past month, it surely didn’t look very graceful. But it was enough. Being close was enough, having their mouths together was enough. It didn’t have to be perfect.

 

Ian’s hands had been cradling Mickey’s face, but he soon let go, sliding them down his body instead, through the thin white fabric, feeling the slight dips and curves of his just barely visible abs as he continued, making it down to the waistband of his shorts.

 

A slight, impatient grunt hit his tongue, and Ian got the hint, the kiss deepening a little bit more while he pushed the clothing piece down just enough to where he could wrap his large hand around his boyfriend’s thick cock, starting to stroke him at a perfect pace; not too quick but not too slow. Mickey’s eyebrows were furrowed as the kiss continued in between them, Ian’s mouth working his own, their tongues sliding over each other’s sloppily.

 

Mickey could feel Ian’s short strands of hair against his bare arm as he tugged himself even a little bit closer; the red hair had grown out a little bit since they had met, but it wasn’t to the point where you couldn’t still call it a buzzcut, because it surely was - a part of Mickey wondered if Ian would buzz it off again once it grew some more, or if he would someday get the satisfaction of tugging at the red strands. Either way, it didn’t matter right now because Ian’s mouth was on his own, his hand stroking his cock, so he pushed the thoughts out of his head once again.

 

Ian’s thumb swiped across the head of Mickey’s cock, collecting the small drop of precome and using it as he sped up his movements just a little bit, continuing to pleasure his boyfriend, drinking in the moans that were spilled into his mouth, leaning into Mickey’s hold around his neck, continuing the kiss.

 

Mickey tightened his fist around the black fabric, his teeth sinking into Ian’s bottom lip for a moment before he let go, Ian pressing one last, searing kiss to his favorite pair of lips, pushing his glasses a little bit further up his nose, making them share a childish grin right before he sank down onto his knees. Though they were up against a tree, they were still close enough to the beach that there was heaps of sand underneath them, making it easy for Ian to be on his knees without being very bothered by the feeling.

 

Mickey’s right hand fell limply to his side, his left hand resting on the back of Ian’s hand as their eyes connected, Mickey capturing his own bottom lip in between his teeth at the sight; it would never cease to blow his fucking mind. How with that one, special look in his eye, Ian could look so fucking dirty, like he would do anything and everything he possibly could to pleasure Mickey - while simultaneously looking so beautiful. Their eye contact kept for only a moment before Ian shifted his gaze to Mickey’s cock where it was standing right in front of his face. Ian had stopped stroking him by now, his right hand gently resting around the base, his left one cupped around Mickey’s hip, holding him steady against the tree as he took him into his mouth, not wasting any time.

 

Ian would probably never tire of sucking Mickey’s cock; he loved it too much. Everything about it, really; the weight inside of his mouth, the slight tinge of salt coating his tongue that came with the precome. The beautiful sounds that he would always manage to pull out of Mickey’s mouth, and the way that his lips had to stretch just the right amount for his boyfriend to fit.

 

Being seventeen years old, Ian still didn’t have much of a technique or a science down - neither of them did, of course - he usually just bobbed his head up and down Mickey’s cock, moving his tongue now and again all the while hoping that he was doing good. As far as he knew, he had never failed at the task of sucking Mickey’s brain out through his cock, because he would always look and sound completely gone. Now was not an exception; Ian bobbed his head up and down Mickey’s cock at quite the fast past, his eyes closed.

 

Mickey’s hand was still at the back of his head, urging him on, and had he had enough hair to do so, surely he would have been tugging at the strands. Small grunts and moans fell from Mickey’s lips, blending with the dirty, clucking sound of his cock hitting the back of Ian’s throat over and over again as he took him, fighting his gag reflex as good as he could, his fingers digging into the flesh of Mickey’s hip.

 

“Like that” Mickey’s somewhat dark, pleasure clouded voice hit Ian’s ears, urging him on even a little bit further. “Suck my fucking cock, man”

 

Ian hummed at the words, making Mickey’s hips twitch forwards as the slight vibrations quite literally rolled into his cock, bringing him closer to the edge; neither of them ever lasted very long with each other. Ian sped up even a little bit more, hollowing his cheeks as good as he good while he took his boyfriend’s cock deeper down his throat, blinking up at him.

 

Mickey wasn’t looking back; his head was leaned back against the trunk of the tree in the darkness, his lips parted, eyebrows knitted as he continued pressing at the back of Ian’s head, urging him to take him even deeper. Ian closed his eyes again, taking his hand off of his boyfriend’s hip and using both to jerk him off as he continued sucking him, giving him quite literally everything that he could.

 

“Oh - you - fucking - you - I - “ Mickey started spitting half assed words out into the air as Ian worked him so fucking good. It didn’t take many more seconds before he came down his throat.

 

Ian could sense it, so he let go of the cock with his hands and fought his gag reflex, taking Mickey all the way down, his nose buried in the dark pubic hairs as he closed his eyes, feeling the warm liquid pour down his throat; he swallowed all of it, Mickey’s moans and groans helping him to fight the urge to gag. It wasn’t too bad since Mickey wasn’t all that big in terms of length. He more than made up for it in thickness, though.

 

After Mickey was finished, they stayed like that for a beat or two; his body relaxing as Ian swallowed down the last of his come before pulling of, making sure to keep his lips tightly glued around Mickey’s cock as he did so to make sure that he wouldn’t be spilling a single drop. Soft, tired breaths continued to cloud the air around them as Ian easily tucked his boyfriend back into his shorts and then stood up, not wasting a single second before pressing their lips together once again. It wasn’t very passionate, and it didn’t involve much tongue at all. It was simply a soft, slightly open mouthed kiss, signalling some kind of finale as Mickey willed his heart to slow back down.

 

“Wanna go back to the party?” Ian asked, his lips carrying a small smirk as their foreheads rested together, a few chuckles escaping Mickey’s lips as he shook his head.

 

“No” Ian joined Mickey’s laughter, pressing one more kiss to his parted lips before tugging him away from the tree, once again winding his arm around his neck to keep him close, his lips resting on his left temple for a second as they both made their way back towards the bonfire, albeit on shaky legs. Ian noticed that Mickey seemed a little bit more tense than he had a moment ago, but he chose not to comment on it. The music continued booming loudly over the entire beach, a few people stumbling at the edge of the ocean, completely drunk off their asses, someone’s clothes soaked.

 

The fire continued burning big and bright right in the middle of everything, and Mickey was filled with that feeling again. The one that said that he didn’t want to be here - when he was only with Ian, it was fine. The fire and the darkness and the music, it was kind of nice. But soon there were people stumbling up to Ian, saying things like ‘ _Hey, man. Were have you been?_ ’ and ‘ _I haven’t seen you in forever_ ’ and ‘ _Good luck on the game next week, man_ ’ and ‘ _You look good, Ian_ ’. None of it made Mickey jealous or some shit - not really. It just made him feel… fuck, he hated using the phrase third wheel because this wasn’t some bike or some shit, but yeah - he felt like a third wheel because though Ian’s arm stayed wrapped around his neck and he introduced him once in a while, it all made Mickey feel like the chick in the relationship. Stupid as that was.

 

Ian knew everybody and it seemed that everybody knew Ian, too. It was just… really fucking messy and Mickey continued fighting that lump in his throat all through the night.

 

  
***

 

  
Ian wasn’t blind to his boyfriend’s change in mood, of course - they may have only met about two months ago, but they had spent practically every single second together since. They knew each other quite well by now, in his opinion at least.

 

As well as you could know someone after two months. So by the time they entered Mickey and Mandy’s apartment together, the taller man had a crease in between his eyebrows. Mandy had decided to stay behind at the party for a little bit longer, and Mickey wasn't sure if he liked that or if he didn’t, because her not being here gave him and Ian the chance to talk.

 

And he didn’t know if he was ready to talk about this shit yet - fuck, he wasn’t sure what ‘this shit’ was. But it was something that had been bubbling under the surface for weeks and weeks, and he had continued pushing it down, but that party tonight had made him realize that he should be dealing with it instead. Despite how his guts were churning uncomfortably.

 

“Mickey, did I do something?” Ian closed the apartment door behind them, flicking the light on as Mickey walked a few meters in front of him, just as he had ever since they had left the beach fifteen minutes ago. His back was turned to him, but he recognised the movement of his right arm as him thumbing his bottom lip in nervousness. Ian swallowed, his eyes softening at Mickey turned around, shaking his head and sinking down at the edge of the couch, looking up at his boyfriend.

 

“Nah, man. Not at all, Gallagher. I’m just…” Mickey trailed off, his gaze sticking to the dimly lit hardwood flooring in front of him. If he was going to attempt explaining something that he had no idea what the fuck to think of himself, then he couldn’t be distracted by those beautiful green eyes. “When we moved here those months back, I… I had this fucking image, right?”

 

Despite his best efforts, he looked up at Ian. He had his arms, crossed, eyebrows furrowed as he tried desperately to figure out what exactly Mickey was trying to tell him.

 

“Mandy’s always made friends or whatever, but I was just gonna keep to myself. Smoke, drink. Fucking study, I don’t know” Ian blinked down at him, listening. “Then you fucking come along, right? And you’re just…”

 

Mickey sighed, pushing himself off of the couch and taking the three or four steps over to Ian, unable to keep himself from grabbing a hold of the black fabric of his muscle tee, tugging him a tiny bit closer to him. Ian was insanely confused, but he stepped closer anyway. He would always want to be closer to Mickey. The blue eyes were focused on Ian’s collarbone as Mickey swallowed, forcing himself to continue. “Fucking perfect, man. I lo…”

 

Mickey’s tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip, but Ian didn’t even flinch at the slip. He just tilted his head slightly to the side, pushing Mickey’s glasses further up his nose. It wasn’t even a joke in between them anymore. It was just a thing Ian did. Like kissing his cheek or bumping their shoulders together.

 

“I really… fucking like you, Ian. Alright? But…” That word. That’s when Mickey saw Ian flinch. But he had to do this. He had to try to explain this shit somehow. “Look… meeting your friends, and… seeing how many people love you, and - you play football by the way, man? I didn’t fucking know that” Ian swallowed visibly. He knew where Mickey was going with this. “It just fucking… makes me realize we don’t know each other that fucking well yet, man. But you’re here every single day, we’re practically living together and I… it’s all too fucking much. Too fast”

 

Ian swallowed once again, the teenagers staying only inches away from each other, eyes filled with sadness and confusion.

 

“Mick. What are you saying?” Mickey bit down at the inside of his bottom lip, looking up into the green eyes.

 

“Can we just slow down a little bit?” His voice wasn’t much more than a whisper, the words fanning Ian’s chin, their faces fallen, Mickey’s hand still holding onto Ian’s shirt while he could.

 

“Slow down? Or… or just stop?” Ian’s voice cracked, the eye contact in between them both filled with nothing but heartbreak and sadness - what was even worse was that they both knew that Mickey was right. They were in this too hard, too fast. It wasn’t good, especially not with their senior year coming up. Tomorrow. Mickey let his eyes fall closed tightly as he took one step closer, into Ian’s chest. He buried his nose deep in the crook of his neck, breathing him in. It all felt too good; the softness of his skin, the intoxicating scent that Mickey never seemed to be able to get enough of. The weight of Ian’s arms around his body as he held him for a second. It was all too good. Which was why it wasn’t smart to keep this going.

 

“You should go” Mickey muttered when they had pulled apart, not meeting Ian’s eyes. He could feel it, though. The air shifting in the dimly lit livingroom. Them breaking. They weren’t boyfriends anymore. They were ex boyfriends.

 

“Just like that?” Ian asked, somewhat of an angry blade to his voice. Just a tiny bit.

 

“Just like that” Mickey said, still not brave enough to meet those green eyes. His gaze stayed locked on the hardwood floors until the door slammed closed. Then his eyes fell shut, and he cried.

 

  
***

 

  
Almost an hour later, Mickey was sitting on the couch, his hand wrapped around a beer as he had his gaze focused on a muted horror movie, the television screen creating some kind of a flickering light over the livingroom. That’s when Mandy entered, startling him just a little bit with the force she used to open and close the front door.

 

“Oh, hey. You’re still up. Is Ian asleep?” Mandy asked, her words a little bit blended together, letting her twin brother know that there was probably quite a bit of alcohol in her system. He just shrugged, not having the energy to do much more. His body felt tired. Numb. Sad.

 

“We broke up” No audible gasp came out of Mandy’s mouth at the information, but Mickey could still sense her surprise and confusion as he looked up, his sad eyes falling on his sister’s. The livingroom was quite dark by now, so they couldn’t see each other all too well. The girl swallowed, heading through the kitchen and grabbing a beer for herself before walking towards her brother. Had she been sober, and had neither of them been as exhausted as they actually were by now - maybe she would have asked.

 

Maybe she would have pressed for information, because the last time she had seen them, they had been so in love she wanted to throw up. Not any different than they had been every single second since they had first gotten together. But it was in fact late, she was intoxicated and they were both tired. And she could see that her brother was heartbroken though he was trying to keep himself together; and she knew that talking about it would not help Mickey in the least. So instead she sighed, sinking down next to her brother.

 

“I’m sorry, bro. But you’ll be fine. I promise” Mickey looked at her, the slightest hint of a smile clouding his lips as she clinked their beer bottles together. “Here’s to a kickass senior year”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, man. Let the angst begin. It won't last all too long. Maybe... lmao. For anybody who might be interested, since they will end up being quite a big part of this story, my FCs for Scooter and Sabrina are Justin Goble and Ashley Argota! 
> 
> Comments and kudos are always incredibly appreciated! I hope that you all have a great day! <3 
> 
> (Also, it's so fucking strange for me to refer to Mickey and Mandy as 'the twins' because I just keep seeing Brian and Briana in those words, lmao)


	9. Better?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Mickey’s fucked up”
> 
> “Yeah, no shit - “
> 
> “Hey!” Mandy delivered a heavy slap to the back of Ian’s neck, startling him and interrupting his bitter chuckles. “I can say it” She growled; she would always be on her brother’s side. No matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unedited, because I'm a lazy bitch.

By the time Mickey’s eyes blinked open the next morning, he wasn’t tired. Not really, not in the way that he usually was.

 

Sure, he was sporting somewhat of a hangover from all of the beer he had swallowed down before climbing into bed, and yes, a part of him was heartbroken as his mind showed him flashbacks of what had happened. What he had said and what he had done - but he wasn’t tired to the point where he wanted to close his eyes and go back to sleep. His gaze was focused up onto the white ceiling, his lips parted. He was laying on his back, in the middle of the bed.

 

Somehow it felt too big, and too cold. But he would get over it. He had to - though if he was being honest, he really wasn’t sure if breaking up with Ian had been a good thing or a bad thing. He was leaning towards good. At least for now - because despite the pain in his chest, and despite the way in which his throat dried out when he thought back on this summer - Mickey was seventeen years old.

 

Ian and Mickey’s relationship had gone from zero to a hundred really fucking quickly, and though he hadn’t really let himself go there at first, he now thought that maybe he had had his doubts - maybe he had been scared - ever since they had gotten back from camp. Not because Ian wasn’t a good guy, or because Mickey didn’t… fuck. Love shouldn’t be in his vocabulary yet.

 

Let’s start over. It wasn’t because Mickey didn’t really fucking like Ian - he did - but just because Ian happened to be a great fucking guy, that didn’t automatically mean that Mickey was ready for this. He had plans, and a future, and things that he wanted - and none of those things would be made easier by having a boyfriend by his side. At least not as he saw it right now.

 

Mickey needed to focus on his life, on school - no matter how fucking ridiculous that sounded - he needed to graduate so that he could do whatever the fuck he wanted with his life, despite the fact that he hadn’t figured out what exactly that was just yet. He had known that for a long time, and for a few weeks he had let himself pretend that he would be able to do that with Ian by his side, but he doubted that now.

 

None of it was Ian’s fault - Ian was completely amazing - but there were a million and one reasons as to why Mickey couldn’t or shouldn’t be with him right now.

 

Why he couldn’t or shouldn’t be with anybody right now. Chicago was new, school was new, being a fucking adult was new. Mickey needed to be on his own and develop some kind of routine of things before he could have friends of any kind - if he would even want them in the future. He wasn’t sure. That had always more-so been Mandy’s thing.

 

Speaking of Mandy - Mickey started hearing the noises of cupboards and pots and pans coming from the kitchen, and he closed his eyes, placing his hands over his face and running two open palms over his features, hoping that he would be able to get rid of some of the sadness or confusion - whatever the fuck it was. His chest heaved heavily up and down once, his arms dropping to his side for a second before he pushed himself up to sit on the edge of the bed, a small hammer banging inside of his head, punishing him for consuming so much alcohol the night before - it wasn’t all too bad, but it certainly was anything but pleasant.

 

He stayed sitting there for a minute, just looking, blinking. His mind flashing back to the events of last night. How the words had tasted coming out of his mouth and how heartbroken Ian had looked. Mickey wished that he would be able to explain clearly - even to himself - why he had broken up with him. But he was still a little bit confused about the whole thing, and he knew that Ian had been blindsided by it. Probably Mandy too.

 

Mickey had tried. He had tried to get over his fears, and his doubts, and he had tried to get that fuzzy feeling in his stomach to take over that twisting and cringing, but he couldn’t. None of it was Ian’s fault, not in the slightest bit. This was all Mickey. Because in the end - despite the fact that he and Mandy were both adults now, in the eye of the world, he was still seventeen years old.

 

Mickey was seventeen years old, and he wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready to have a serious relationship, and he wasn’t ready to exchange confessions of love, and he wasn’t ready to see Ian’s face every single morning, and he wasn’t ready - he just wasn’t ready. Maybe he should have figured that out a lot earlier - but save for that fact, maybe that was alright. Maybe it was healthy for him to focus on things outside of relationships now. Fuck if he knew. Maybe he was just a pussy.

 

Somewhat of a deep sigh escaped his lips as he pushed himself off of the bed, walking out into the kitchen in boxers and a tank top, seeing his sister sitting by the kitchen table, just as he had anticipated. Her hair was collected up into a bun on top of her head, her bangs somewhat swept to the side so that they wouldn’t tickle her eyelashes as she lifted the spoon up to her mouth, her eyes focused on her phone, multitasking.

 

The smell of coffee pretty much immediately hit Mickey’s nose, and he could feel his head thanking him already despite the fact that he hadn’t consumed any just quite yet. His steps were somewhat heavy as he walked over to the coffee maker, taking a cup out of the cupboard and a large amount of the dark liquid into it before turning around and sitting down on the other side of the table, straight across from his sister who was locking her phone by now, looking up at him. Mickey knew what was coming before she even opened her mouth. God damn it.

 

“Are you going to be alright with all of this?” Mickey didn’t want to talk to Mandy about the breakup - mostly because he hadn’t quite and completely wrapped his mind around it all himself just yet. Sure, he knew that this was what he wanted for right now, but those words that Ian had spoken still haunted him a little bit. ‘Just like that?’ ‘Just like that’. Jesus fucking christ. Maybe Mickey should have waited, and maybe he should have found a better way to do it - but either way, now they were broken up, and though it had been kind of a weird moment for him to do it… He wasn’t sure he regretted it. Not at all.

 

“‘M fine” Mickey spoke the blatant lie into his coffee cup as he took a large gulp. Just because this was what he needed to do right now, that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt. And just because he didn’t hate himself for breaking things off with Ian for right now, that didn’t mean that he didn’t hate himself for hurting him, but really - was there a good way to break up with somebody?

 

Mickey really fucking doubted that. The hot liquid poured down his throat, burning just the right amount as he felt his nerves and muscles roaring awake, his headache fading a little bit more for every second that passed. In two hours, he needed to be at school. In class. Jesus fucking christ, he wasn’t sure if he would be able to do that, really. After that night of drinking and… heartbreak.

 

Was his heart broken? Maybe. But he had also done the breaking, so… he was sad, but - fuck, it was too early for this shit. A part of him wanted to just go back to bed. Maybe drink another beer and continue turning all of this over inside of his head, try to figure shit out a little bit. But ultimately - despite the fact that he was who he was - skipping class on the very first day in a new school, in a new city, even in a new fucking state - he wasn’t doing that.

 

“Can I ask?” At his twin sister’s next question, Mickey furrowed his brows, looking at her over the rim of his coffee cup, giving her the silent permission, though of course she would ask even if he had said no. Her eyes were filled with sadness, maybe a couple of drops of confusion mixed into the blue color. She was quiet for a beat, taking a gulp of her own coffee before she opened her mouth to speak. “What the fuck happened? You and Ian were perfect this summer, and then just - “ She cut herself off with a shrug, frowning some more as she waited for an answer.

 

Last night, Mandy hadn’t wanted to bother her brother with a fuck ton of questions, mostly because they had both been tired and drunk, and she had been able to see that getting him to talk about the breakup wouldn’t have solved anything. Now, though - with the daylight seeping in through the windows in the apartment, and with coffee running through their veins.

 

With Mickey looking somewhat sober and a little bit more awake - she had to know. They were so fucking happy together for so many weeks. They had been cute enough that she was surprised she hadn’t gotten diabetes.

 

And then suddenly - well, she doubted that it was suddenly to Mickey, but to her - she comes home and Ian is just gone. Like what the actual fuck. Mickey just swallowed, taking another big gulp of the coffee while he tried to figure out what exactly he should say to her. For a beat, he just looked down into the black sea of the drug in his cup, and he swallowed.

 

“I’m not fucking ready” It was such a simple statement, but it was the one that echoed throughout his brain. The words that remained, and the main reason why he had broken up with such an amazing guy. In some kind of way - Mickey was still a child. He had his own apartment - well, with his sister - he paid his own bills, he bought his own food, but at the end of the day, he was a child. A teenager. He wasn’t even eighteen yet.

 

Ian had practically been living here for the past few weeks - they had shared a bed, cuddled on the couch, he had eaten out of Mickey’s fridge without asking - that was a serious relationship. Wasn’t it? It was a scary thought, because maybe it made Mickey a pussy - but he just wasn’t ready. It was terrifying as fuck, all of it.

 

“You’re scared” Fucking twins and their fucking mind-reading skills.

 

“That’s not the only fucking reason” Mickey mumbled into his cup of coffee, shaking his head slightly from side to side as he felt the liquid pour down his throat, burning a little bit less this time as it had begun to cool down. Mickey was scared, yes - Mandy was right about that despite the fact that he wasn’t all that into the idea of admitting it.

 

“You’re gonna have to see him around school, you know. Think you’ll end up regretting it?” Mickey swallowed once again. Of course he regretted it. Maybe. But that didn’t mean that it wasn’t the right thing for right now, he knew that it was.

 

For himself, and probably for Ian, too. The only thing that he was worried about was whether or not they were on good terms right now. He didn’t know if Ian got it, or if he hated him for it - though sadly he would put his money on the second one. He should have picked a better time, and a better way to do it, but now it was done. Ian was Mickey’s ex boyfriend, and… that was just it.

 

“Big school. I won’t see him too much” That’s what Mickey had to tell himself as he pushed his glasses a little bit further up his nose, ignoring the pang in his heart at the act. He completely understood if it didn’t make sense to Mandy or Ian why Mickey would break up when Ian hadn’t done anything - but it made some kind of sense to him. This was what Mickey needed right now, and that had to be alright. No matter what it looked like from the outside.

 

“I’m pretty sure I’m staying friends with Scooter and Sabrina, and they’re friends with Ian, so maybe you won’t get off as easy as you would have liked to” With those biting words, Mandy stood up out of her chair and stomped into her room to get ready for school, leaving Mickey to swallow the last of his coffee, cursing into the cup.

 

  
***

 

  
Mandy’s favorite pair of solid black, thin skinny jeans covered her legs as she stomped through the hallways of the school, the clothing item tapering off into a pair of old converse - which might have belonged to either Iggy or Mickey at some point, by the space that was left inside of the shoe, but they were comfortable, so fuck it - one of her own, old rocker tees sat on her upper frame, hugging her in some areas, yet leaving her area enough to breathe.

 

The weather still hadn’t quite traveled over to fall yet, so she didn’t have a jacket on and the heavy bag that hung over her shoulder made her work up a little bit of sweat, making her wish that she had gone with a pair of shorts instead of full on jeans. Apparently this shit-hole wasn’t much different than the one back in Texas, and the teachers didn’t go any easier on the new kids than they did on the ones that had been here since day fucking one. Her bag was loaded full of books and books and books - oh, and a pen.

 

The dark strands on top of her head were collected into a high ponytail, her bangs brushed and left out to tickle her eyelashes; she should really trim those some time soon. Maybe she would do it when she got home. The only makeup on her face was the eyeliner that was drawn on her waterline, as she hadn’t really seen much of a point to putting on even more than that when she was going to school - no one gave much of a shit anyway. But without the blackness around her eyes, she didn’t look all too much like herself.

 

Mandy’s sneaker clad shoes continued walking through the hallway, her eyes searching for the red hair she had seen only a moment ago. Jesus fuck, how had she lost him? She was more than aware of the fact that her brother hadn’t had any evil intentions in breaking up with Ian, and she also knew that he truly believed that this was what he wanted, what was best - maybe it even was. Who the fuck knows?

 

Mandy knew fuck all about their relationship outside of the lovey dovey stuff she had seen. The problem she did have, though was that she also was incredibly aware of the fact that Mickey wasn’t good with words. He wasn’t very good at explaining shit. And since the two of them had been together, Ian had stayed over so much that he had become a good friend of Mandy’s as well - she knew him quite well. So the odds that Mickey hadn’t said half of what he was thinking were large, adding up to the odds that Ian was walking around thinking that Mickey had never actually loved him.

 

This wasn’t Mandy’s problem, and she knew that. But for some fucked up reason, she felt the need to fix this up a little bit - try to smooth it all out, because whether Ian and Mickey liked it or not - their group of friends now clashed together. On one hand, there was Mickey and Mandy, on the other there were Ian, Scooter and Sabrina - Mandy was friends with Ian, and she hoped to stay friends with Scooter and Sabrina. That all meant that those two douchebags would be seeing each other once in a while whether they liked it or not.

 

Besides - Mandy had an hour or so before she had her next class. She might as well use it productively. Studying? Nah, nah. Make sure that her friend was alright - and possibly using that as an excuse so that she wouldn’t have to study? - Sure. Yes.

 

“Ian!” Mandy called out across the crowded hallway, a few meters away from his back. She could see his frame tense up for a second, but then he continued walking, his head shaking a little bit from side to side, letting her know that he had in fact heard her, he just didn’t want to talk to his ex boyfriend’s sister right now. Too fucking bad. “Hold the fuck up, asshole!” They got to the end of the hallway, less people surrounding them as Ian finally stopped, his shoulders going up and then down slowly as if he was taking a deep breath; then he turned around to face the girl. For some reason, Mandy had assumed that his face would either be carrying a fake smile, or he would look angry - he looked neither. He just looked sad.

 

“Mandy, what do you want? I have class” The blatant lie almost made Mandy want to roll her eyes - every single kid in school had lunch for another hour - but she knew that acting like even more of a bitch than she already was wouldn’t really help her chances here, so she kept from it and she sighed. She stayed silent for a beat or so, just looking up at Ian.

 

Mandy had no fucking idea how some random guy from summer camp had ended up being her best friend - well, she knew how it had started, but even outside of dating her brother, Ian was a good guy and she wasn’t sure how she was lucky enough to have that. She could just barely imagine how Mickey felt. Or had felt. Whatever the fuck was going on with them, she was quite certain that she didn’t know the half of it, but that wouldn’t stop her from trying to fix it.

 

Mandy’s intention wasn’t to get them back together, necessarily. She just wanted them both to be alright. She loved Mickey - and of course she would always be on her twin brother’s side no matter what, even if he drove her insane sometimes - but she loved Ian, too. She didn’t want him to be walking around heartbroken. Or even angry for that matter, because though Mickey certainly could have found a better way and a better time to break things off with him, Mickey had never meant to hurt Ian. He was confused and he was scared.

 

“Sit down” Mandy crossed her arms, nodding towards the stairs behind him. Ian tilted his head a little bit to the side in some kind of annoyance, starting to shake his head.

 

“Mandy, I don’t have ti - “

 

“Sit the fuck down, and shut up” Ian didn’t fight back this time, instead a soft and barely audible sigh escaped his nose, and his head moved slightly up and down in agreement, his feet carrying him backwards slowly until he hit the lowest step, sinking down onto the old marble while he looked up at his ex boyfriend’s sister, the girl taking a few steps closer as well, sinking down at the other end of the stairs, leaning back against the wall, her legs bent, feet planted onto the flat surface. “How pissed are you at my brother? One to ten”

 

A soft, tired chuckle sounded in the base of Ian’s throat, his mouth pulling up into a bitter smile as he looked away from her blue eyes for a beat, searching his brain for the right answer. Mandy just stayed seated, waiting.

 

It took quite a while. Actually, probably about the better part of a full minute before Ian turned his head again, the eye contact being picked back up. Ian shrugged one of his shoulders, his wrist draped over his knee; Mandy stayed quiet. He obviously didn’t know what to answer with, but she waited. Finally;

 

“What do you want me to say, Mands? That I’m not fucking heartbroken? That I’m not questioning every single moment of our relationship? Wondering if any of it was real?” Mandy once again found herself fighting the urge to roll her eyes - she now realized how little Ian and Mickey really knew each other. They may know each other’s bodies and they may be in love - puppy love, that was - but Ian knew fuck all about the creature that was Mandy’s twin brother.

 

It wasn’t as if she could blame him for it. They hadn’t been together for all that long, and she was pretty sure that she had at least been thirteen before she knew Mickey inside and out. He didn’t really like to share all that much. He had never really been that guy.

 

People continued rushing through the hallway as they sat there, Mandy staying quiet, searching through her brain for the right thing to say, trying to figure out what would make Ian understand. She didn’t want Ian to be mad at Mickey - actually, yes; he was completely allowed to be mad at him, of course - but she supposed her point was that she would like Ian to hate what Mickey did. Not hate Mickey as a person, because Mickey was a good guy. The best one Mandy knew. Not just because he was her twin brother, but because he was just Mickey.

 

“Mickey’s fucked up”

 

“Yeah, no shit - “

 

“Hey!” Mandy delivered a heavy slap to the back of Ian’s neck, startling him and interrupting his bitter chuckles. “I can say it” She growled; she would always be on her brother’s side. No matter what.

 

He drove her crazy sometimes, but she would never be able to sit by and watch somebody call Mickey fucked up despite the fact that she had called him worse. No. She wasn’t doing that shit. Ian shrugged, their eyes connecting again, Ian giving her the silent permission to continue.

 

“I’m not here to defend what my brother did, alright?” Ian raised his eyebrows as she paused for a beat, doing her best to figure out what would be the best way to express what was going through her head. “I get it if you hate what he did, it was fucked up to dump you just like that. You don’t hate to talk to him, or forgive him, I don’t give a shit…” Mandy paused once more, Ian staying silent and waiting for the obvious ‘but’. When it didn’t came, he helped her out.

 

“But?” Mandy shrugged, the eye contact keeping in between them as she stayed silent for another tick of the clock. Then;

 

“Mickey’s a good guy. Not just because he’s my brother - he is. He’s clumsy, and he’s confusing, I guess - to people who don’t really know him as well as I do. Sometimes he thinks one thing, but he doesn’t say the half of it, because he doesn’t know how to”

 

It had been a long time since Mandy had been this straight up honest about Mickey. It had been a long time since she had had to explain him to somebody - it happened sometimes. Someone being friends with Mickey and him giving them nothing, and them going crazy and then Mandy had to step in and explain her brother.

 

It was fucked up, and she doubted that Mickey was aware of the fact that she did it, but it had been going on since the damn sandbox. ‘I’m sorry my brother kicked your castle down. He didn’t mean to, he’s grumpy today’.

 

Of course, back then she had made excuses for his behavior, which was something she did her best to stay away from in today’s time. Mandy made an effort to defend Mickey rather than his actions.

 

“He broke my fucking heart, Mandy. I mean, I know I’m just seventeen, but Mickey’s… I really thought we could be…” The words were so raw and so honest, that Mandy had to swallow before she could answer, her teeth digging into the inside of her bottom lip for a second.

 

“He’s scared” Ian raised his eyebrows at Mandy’s words, her voice suddenly a little bit softer. “He’s terrified - not just of what he feels for you, but our entire lives we’ve known one thing, right? Texas. Change is a big deal for him, he’d never say it, but I think one of the reasons he dumped you was because it was a way to get some of his old life back. Even if his new one was better”

 

Ian raised his eyebrows at that, silently asking her to elaborate on that thought trail.

 

“Look, I know fuck all about what goes on inside of his head, but I’m trying. He’s fucked up, but he does like you. He didn’t fake anything, it’s important that you know that. I’m not trying to make excuses or some shit like that - you can be as angry as you want. I just… I’m just trying to explain why. Because he’s not good at that, so… Just figured it would help you both if I meddled a little bit” Ian swallowed, breaking the eye contact as he nodded a little bit.

 

“I just… I keep thinking about everything we did and said, and… I know it wasn't a long time, but…” Ian forced himself to swallow again, making sure that his throat didn’t dry up to the point where he wouldn't be able to speak. His feet rested flatly on the marble step, his forearms leaning on his knees as Mandy stayed pressed back against the wall, waiting for her friend to continue talking, knowing that he needed to get some things out. “I felt like it. I really thought that Mickey could be… it” With that, he turned to look at Mandy again; she just blinked at him, her head moving slowly up and down in understanding. She got it. Personally, she had no idea if they would ever end up patching things up, maybe they would just become friends. She didn’t know and she didn’t care, because at the moment, Ian and Mickey were both heartbroken. She could see it in both of them.

 

A part of Mandy was furious with her brother for breaking up with Ian, but an even bigger part of her completely understood it - she wouldn’t want to have a boyfriend right now, either. Starting over in a new town, a new school, it was all complicated enough and it took up a lot of time. Even if it was a good one, relationships took time too, and they took work - especially for and with someone like Mickey who didn’t know much about how to be in one. In a way, Mandy supposed it made a lot of sense that he had decided to break it off - he just could have picked a better time to do it.

 

“I miss him already” Ian sighed, their eyes connecting again as he turned his head back. Mandy raised her eyebrows. “I miss him, and I hate him” Both of them snorted in some kind of amusement, Mandy nodding. She had been with quite a few guys over the years - she knew that feeling all too well.

 

  
***

 

  
Mickey’s dark eyebrows were completely furrowed, drawn together as he leaned against the wall of the staircase, out of sight. His heavy bag hung over his shoulder, creating quite the imbalance, that one, dry lump staying stuck in his throat as he listened, digging his teeth into his top lip, almost tasting some blood on his tongue.

 

“He broke my fucking heart, Mandy. I mean, I know I’m just seventeen, but Mickey’s… I really thought we could be…” Ian’s voice was muffled. Mickey’s stomach turned, his frown growing even deeper. Ian had really thought that - that they could be forever? Just like that? He forced himself to take a deep breath, knowing that he was doing the right thing, maybe it hurt right now - but he didn’t want to be in a relationship. Simple as that. No matter how much he liked the guy.

 

“He’s terrified - not just of what he feels for you, but our entire lives we’ve known one thing, right? Texas. Change is a big deal for him, he’d never say it, but I think one of the reasons he dumped you was because it was a way to get some of his old life back. Even if his new one was better” His sister’s voice made Mickey tune their voices in again. He had never thought of it that way, if he was being honest. Maybe she was right, and maybe she wasn’t.

 

Either way, Mickey couldn’t listen anymore. He knew what he wanted right now, what he needed. He wanted a quiet life for a few months, he wanted to study, he wanted to watch shitty ass cartoons in the apartment, and he wanted to drink beer. That’s all. Having Ian had been amazing - truly. And though it had been scary, it had made Mickey happy. But Ian would find someone else, and Mickey could go back to his old life. At least a little bit. It was best that way.

 

No matter how messy Mickey’s brain was, he had to force himself to believe that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm currently having such a hard time with this fic. I know exactly what's going to happen and when, but I'm still just... I don't know. I'm also sorry if it's boring for you guys right now, but I need a few filler chapters. It'll get better once it picks up a little bit! 
> 
> <3


	10. Lemon(ade)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s my fucking turn to talk” For some reason, Mickey stayed quiet and let him. “It’s not fucking fair, alright, Mick? Any of it. You don’t get to just fucking walk into my life, make me so fucking happy, and then just ruin it. You don’t get to toss me around, and have me come back whenever the fuck you want, and you don’t get to make me fall in love with you - and then just leave. Because I love you, Mickey. That’s what sucks, isn't it? I love you so fucking much. I know that we’re in high school, and I know that it doesn’t make any sense - but it’s you. I love you. Or at least I did. But you ruined that. You ruined what we had and what we could have had, and that’s on you. Only you. You could have told me to back away, you could have told me you needed space, alright? It didn’t have to be all or nothing, but that’s how you saw it, and now we’re nothing. That’s your fault, that’s your problem, and if you want to fix it - if you want to explain, then you do it to my face. Not on a fucking piece of paper. Fucking asshole”

It was about a week later that Mickey was sitting by a desk in one of the classrooms, the rain hitting the windows at a somewhat steady pace as the teacher went on and on about something that he wasn’t listening to for shit. Instead his cheek was rested into his palm, his pencil moving steadily over a line on the page of his notebook in a way that would soon form a hole while he wondered why he hadn’t gotten into the habit of skipping class yet. The black t shirt that was covering his body was still slightly damp as it was the morning and it hadn’t dried up from the walk from the car into the building just quite yet. The entire classroom was filled with a tired energy and a dreary light thanks to the weather of the same nature.

 

Mickey wasn’t sad, really - he was just exhausted. It was eight am on a fucking monday morning. His eyelids covered his eyes now and again before going up again, his lips slightly chapped. The thick fabric of his jeans stuck to his legs, though starting to dry up.

 

“Mickey” At his name, Mickey tore himself out of his own head and looked up at the old teacher, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion, wondering what he could have missed. “Describe your sister in one word”

 

Mickey’s confusion stayed like a haze around him, wondering why the fuck he should do that. But then he looked up at the blackboard, seeing it littered with different adjectives, making him realize that they were probably talking about labels or some outwardly seemingly important subject like that. He wracked his brain, knowing that Mandy was sitting right next to him, almost close enough that their arms were touching. Yes - they were those siblings. The ones who went to all the same classes and fucking bottle fed each other - it made sense, though. After everything that they had been through, they were bound to rely on each other.

 

Mickey turned to look at Mandy for a second, shrugging his shoulders a tiny bit before turning back to look at the blackboard, deciding to go with a word that for some fucked up reason wasn’t on there, but it seemed more than fitting after everything. It was true.

 

“Brave” The teacher nodded a few times to himself, and in Mickey’s peripheral vision, he saw Mandy’s mouth pull into a small, grateful smile as the class moved on forwards, the old man walking closer to the blackboard to scribble something more onto it, Mickey losing focus again. Or starting at least, however, the teacher’s next words caught his attention again.

 

“See, that’s interesting, isn’t it? Mickey, you know that Mandy is brave. Because you know her. You have been through things together. You have seen it” Mickey’s eyebrows furrowed again, not unlike everybody else’s in the room while they tried to figure out where exactly their teacher was going with this. Mickey’s hand had relaxed and stopped the pencil from rubbing a hole in the paper of the notebook. “Whereas…” The teacher let his eyes wander over the classroom, finally stopping on a guy in the back. “Joey. Describe Sabrina in one word” He gestured to both of them, Mickey and Mandy turning their heads to look.

 

“I can’t do that, I don’t know shit about her” The guy answered while Sabrina stayed seated; her long, wavy brown hair pulled up into a messy bun on top of her head, displaying her brown-tinted, makeup free face. A thin, black, long-sleeved shirt sat tight around her upper body, the fabric draping over her hands a little bit as she waited, only half-listening to what was happening.

 

“Guess” The teacher said easily, shrugging a little bit while he waited for the guy - Joey, apparently; Mickey hadn’t bothered to put a lot of names with faces in this school so far - to answer.

 

“Well, I - Kind, I guess” Joey mumbled in the end, sounding slightly unsure of himself as he shrugged, toying with the front of the snapback at the back of his head, making sure that none of the light brown hair was sticking out through the hole in the front.

 

“Why?” The teacher asked easily, Joey frowning. Mickey had lost interest once again by now, looking down at the paper in front of his face, picking his pencil back up and continuing to draw at that one line, the paper quickly becoming thinner and thinner, soon breaking. He tilted his head slightly to the side, still registering the voices somewhere in the back of his head.

 

“I don’t know, she looks it?” Joey, the boy in the back spoke easily, boredom clouding his tone by now. Mickey looked up at the teacher as he took a few steps closer to the blackboard once again, looking as if he was thinking something over, the rain continuing to hammer against the glass of the windows.

 

“She looks kind… You’re proving my point here, thank you for that” The man grabbed a hold of the sponge that was resting on the tiny shelf below the board, starting to wipe away most of the writing quickly, giving himself some more space to use.

 

Mickey brought his right hand up to his face, pushing a little bit more at his glasses, his head tilted slightly to the side as he for some reason was beginning to grow somewhat interested in this class. Fuck if he knew why, but it was different somehow. He liked this teacher - his last name was something long and probably italian that Mickey couldn’t for the life of him remember - but just judging from the small amount of time he had spent in the guy’s classroom, he was cool. He had more of a back and forth conversation with them all, rather than standing up by the board, pointing and ordering them around like most teachers would.

 

“See…” The teacher started scribbling something down in the middle of the blackboard, standing in front of it in a way that gave Mickey zero view of the letters just quite yet. “Today’s society is completely sucked up into this idea of looks, and - and judging other people based on it, even though we don’t even realize that’s what we’re doing. Good or bad” Mickey knitted his eyebrows together, turning the words over in his head for a second. “Sometimes…” The teacher put the crayon down and turned back around to face the class, ridding them of the horrible scratching noise. “We might see someone every day, and we don’t know who they are outside of their looks, or - or the rumors we hear in the hallway, right?”

 

A few agreeing ‘hum’s rang through the classroom, and Mickey’s eyebrows were still furrowed, wondering where the man was going with all of this shit.

 

“So here’s what we’re going to do today” He paused, looking down at the desk in front of him, picking up a few pieces of paper before stepping in front of the table once again, distributing them so that every table on Mickey and Mandy’s side of the room had one pice of paper each, meaning half a paper for each person. A comfortable sigh slipped out of Mandy’s nose as she took it, ripping it somewhat neatly in half, handing one of the sides to Mickey. “Every single person on this side…” The teacher paused again, handing out the last paper before walking back to the table and leaning back onto it, his hands curling around the edge. “Is gonna write their name on their paper, and put it into Joey’s hat - Joey”

 

A slight protesting groan rang throughout the classroom, but then the hat landed onto the twins’ table since they were furthest back. Mickey and Mandy both scribbled their names quickly and folded the papers up, putting them into the hat and passing it along, all the while having no fucking clue what all of this was about. The teacher continued speaking as the name writing went on.

 

“Every single person on this side…” He gestured weakly to the row of desks closest to the window. “Is gonna pick a random name out of the hat. The person you get paired up with, is the person who’s presence you will spend the next sixty minutes in…” Mickey knitted his eyebrows, waiting for more information because he still had virtually no fucking idea what they were going to do or what it was going to teach them all. “I have these papers…” The teacher lifted a stack of said papers, looking down at the top one. “They are filled with different things to do, including questions to answer. By the end, you will write a short text about the person, with what you have learned and how your opinion of them has changed”

 

Mickey’s pen moved back and forth over that one, dark spot in the paper, working it thinner and thinner as he listened half-heartedly, wondering what the fuck all of this shit would be good for. Really. Alas, the hat was filled with all of the remaining names and passed over to the other side of the classroom.

 

  
***

 

  
Ian took the hat into his hand, grabbing a piece of paper before reaching behind himself and continuing to pass it along, toying with the edges of the thin, white paper, not bothering to open and look just yet. His eyes were absentmindedly focused on the back of his best friend’s neck, a few strands of her dark hair having slipped out of the bun on top of her head, hanging down a little bit.

 

The slight noise of paper being opened and crumpled reached his ears, reminding him to look at his own piece of paper, unfolding it quickly enough, a lump growing in the base of his throat at the name that was so clearly scribbled on the white surface. Mickey. Was the universe just playing some large, horrible and practical joke on Ian or something? What did he do to deserve this?

 

What had he done to deserve falling in love and then having his heart broken - and stomped on - and then this? Being forced to spend an entire hour with the guy? Ian didn’t hate Mickey, at least he tried not to. Mandy’s words last week had certainly gotten to him on one level or another. But still - it wasn’t fun in the very least. Of course it wasn’t.

 

“Hey” Ian lifted his gaze, seeing Sabrina turned around in her chair, showing her note to him. Scooter. Of course, since they had been friends for such a long time, she hadn’t needed to see the letters on his piece of paper to know what name they made up. She had known just by the slight, subconscious sigh that had escaped his mouth the very second that he had unwrapped the damn thing. “You want to switch?” Ian hesitated, considering it for a moment - of course he did. But in the end, he realized that he hadn’t talked to Mickey since the night they had broken up and at some point, he would have to face him anyway. Sooner rather than later, maybe they would end up getting some kind of closure or something. That would be kind of nice. Right now, Ian’s wound was still fresh and open. And to be honest, he was kind of confused about the whole thing as well. Despite Mandy’s attempt in explaining her brother’s actions to him.

 

So Ian shook his head slightly from side to side, assuring Sabrina that he would end up getting through this somehow; he didn’t have much of another choice. Not in the long-run.

 

  
***

 

  
Mickey gnawed on the inside of his bottom lip, continuing to move the pencil over the part of the paper that was since long torn, his head half in the classroom and half outside as he listened to the rain pouring against the window. The teacher was saying something more, but Mickey wasn’t paying much attention to the words. Mandy wasn’t much different. By the time that they both looked up, the people in the very front had started saying the names that were on their pieces of papers, and Mickey blinked slowly, feeling some sleep still lingering in his veins. Or maybe the sound of the rain just calmed him down to the point where he got tired. That was possible too.

 

“Ian, who do you have?” Mickey did his best not to listen to the name; he didn’t sob into his pillow over their breakup - he still firmly stood by his decision. Breaking up with Ian had been the best choice. For both of them. Mickey had had so much more time to focus on himself and his own life, time to get settled in this new city, the new apartment. He missed Ian, of course he did. A fuck ton. And it still hurt, but it was the right thing. That was still what he forced himself to stand by. Of course - the universe was very fond of irony;

 

“Mickey” Ian’s voice was flat; tired. Maybe even annoyed, or possibly indifferent. Mickey couldn’t quite hear it over his heart beating fast inside of his chest; this wasn’t all that fair. Fuck. He had been doing a good fucking job of staying away from each other, and he had started to let go a little bit. Even if it was just a tiny bit. Spending an entire hour with the guy that he used to spoon with at night and kiss with morning breath - even though all of that almost seemed as if it was another life at this point - it would get him right back to square one.

 

Mickey knew that it would.

 

Though their relationship had been short, it had been intense and affectionate. One look into those green eyes or one less than evil word out of his mouth directed at Mickey - it would ruin everything. It would ruin the way in which Mickey was so desperately trying to get over him completely. It had only been a little bit over a week, of course he wasn’t completely over him. However, he was starting to get there, and this certainly would not help. He could figure that fucking much out.

 

Mickey forced himself to swallow thickly, his voice turning a tiny bit to his right to look. Ian was sitting in the chair by his desk, not looking back, not in the slightest bit. All Mickey got as a view was his back and his neck, and it made him dig his teeth even deeper into the inside of his bottom lip. Fuck. This hour would either end with them fucking or fucking each other up - neither of which would be very healthy at this point. He felt a small touch to his clothed thigh as the teacher moved on to the next person, and Mickey turned his head further to look at his sister, her face settled into somewhat of a soft frown that silently asked him whether he was going to be alright or not. He swallowed, his head finally moving up and down once. He didn't have much of a choice, did he?

 

A few minutes later, they got the last bit of instructions, and all of the students stood up to go find somewhere they could be alone and do the assignment in peace. Ian ended up being the one to walk up to the teacher and get the paper for him and Mickey - not giving his ex boyfriend one single look as he did so. Mandy disappeared to god knows where, and Mickey was left having to pace to keep up with Ian as he exited the classroom, letting out an annoyed sigh as he stalked down the hallway, looking at the back of Ian’s head. He understood why Ian was so fucking pissed - of course he did - that didn’t mean that he had to like it.

 

Since the rain was still very much pouring outside, there wasn’t all that many places to spread out in between, but Ian and Mickey ended up in the gymnasium, Mickey following his ex boyfriend across the basketball court, heading towards the bleachers. They had slowed down the pace in which they were walking by now, but Ian was still walking a good few meters in front of Mickey, his back straight, not looking back.

 

“Look, you gonna be this way for the whole hour, we ain’t gonna be able to do the fucking assignment” Mickey spoke truthfully, his voice laced with annoyance, yet some kind of uncertainty. The sound made Ian turn around, their eyes connecting for the first time in a week. The green color was cold, hurt. The blue pair filled with unspoken apologies and heartbreak that Mickey surely deserved to suffer through. It made Mickey’s heart beat a little bit faster - seeing Ian this hurt. But it wasn’t the good kind, of course it wasn’t. It was the worst kind. He had hurt someone he cared about - fuck, someone he loved - and it made him feel like shit. For a second, time was frozen. One second. One mere, simple and short fucking second. Then;

 

“Tell me a secret” Mickey frowned at the words coming out of Ian’s mouth, trying to figure out what exactly he meant by them. “First thing on the list” Ian clarified, as if it was nothing. Then he raised his eyebrows and sank down on the lowest bench behind him. “Tell me a secret” Mickey’s teeth grabbed a hold of his top lip for a second as he tried to figure out how exactly he should be playing this. What he should say, and how he should handle it. It hadn’t been long since he and Ian had broken up, but for some reason it felt as if it had been months, and… Mickey regretted it so fucking much.

 

Not the actual break up - it felt kind of good to not have to focus on anything but his own life - but how he had done it. When he had done it and how suddenly he had done it. It had all been quite fucked up, to be honest. He knew this. So how did he go about pretending like he and Ian had never been anything? Like they had ever laid in each other’s arms at night and whispered how much they meant to one another?

 

It seemed remarkably easy to Ian. To just sit down and do the assignment. To Mickey it was difficult, and his heart was stinging already. Just from looking into those indifferent eyes for the first time in a week. It felt like a lifetime. Which was fucked up, because a week should be nothing - but that’s just how it felt for some reason.

 

But Ian stayed sitting there, his chuck clad feet resting on the edge of the basketball court as he waited for his ex boyfriend to tell him the required secret. Fuck if Mickey knew what good it would do, though. So he swallowed, wracking his brain for one that he could speak, his eyes mindlessly traveling over his ex boyfriend who had by now moved his gaze down to the paper in his hands again, probably looking over the different things that they would have to do. Ian’s hair had grown out a tiny bit more in the past week, making it to the point where it was enough that he could probably style it a tiny bit, should he want to. His legs were covered by his usual pair of dark jeans, a regular white t shirt hanging over his body.

 

Mickey chewed on the inside of his cheek, continuing to search his brain for that one fucking secret. A secret. Wasn’t the point of a secret that you shouldn’t tell anybody? What the fuck was going on in that teacher’s mind anyway? Fuck if Mickey knew, but he didn’t like him anymore. That was for damn sure.

 

“Can’t fucking think of one, man” Mickey was finally forced to sigh as he eased himself to sit down onto the hard floor, one of his jean-clad legs stretched out in front of himself; he didn’t have the balls to look up at Ian again, so he didn’t. He heard Ian move the paper again - that’s how quiet they were - and then some kind of a sigh registered with Mickey, letting him know that Ian was probably even less into this whole idea than he was himself.

 

“Fine, let’s go back to that one later. Something you regret” Ian’s voice was still flat, and the lump in the base of Mickey’s throat continued to grow. Jesus fucking christ, did the universe seriously have nothing better to do than this? Something he regretted? Of course one specific thing came to mind, but he couldn’t say that. He couldn’t sit here, alone with Ian in an empty gym and tell him that he regretted breaking up with him - or, more so how he had broken up with him. That wasn’t fair. Not to Mickey, and certainly not to Ian. He swallowed in some kind of an attempt of getting rid of that dry feeling in his throat, and he lifted his gaze. To his surprise, Ian was actually looking down at him. Sure, the green eyes were flat. Emotionless and expressionless, but he was looking. Blinking down at Mickey, surely wondering if he would say…

 

“Agreeing to this lame fucking exercise” Mickey growled, tearing the eye contact in between them. He had assumed that he would get a grunt, or a ‘fuck you’ out of Ian, but instead he got a few chuckles. It almost made his stomach flip. It had been a long time since he had heard Ian laugh - in comparison to the fact that he used to hear it at least twenty times a day, at least - it sounded good. They were somewhat bitter chuckles, and Mickey knew that it didn’t mean that Ian didn’t hate his guts at the moment, but still. It was kind of nice to hear that sound again. “What about you, man?” He asked then; because somehow the air in between them had lightened. Not completely, or even a lot really. But enough. Enough for them to force through this class.

 

The next thirty minutes or so were a lot less awkward than they should have been; Ian and Mickey answered the questions and they did what they were supposed to do. They didn’t really talk beyond the assignment, and they didn’t laugh. They didn’t look at each other more than they had to. But in comparison to the way that Ian had been quiet and quite obviously furious when they had begun, it was certainly some kind of progress. At least, that’s what Mickey figured. It all felt alright. Not good - but alright. Fine. Survivable.

 

“I can’t whistle” The clock was easing further and further along, ticking towards the end of class when the words left Ian’s mouth, making Mickey push his glasses a little bit further up his nose as he looked up, eyebrows furrowing at the three, random words. “That’s my secret” Ian shrugged. “I can’t whistle for anything - nothing” Mickey drew his eyebrows even closer together, and Ian sighed, rolling his eyes as he pulled his mouth into an ‘o’ shape, blowing out empty air. Mickey dug his teeth into his bottom lip, struggling to keep from laughing.

 

“Man, that’s fucking terrible” And he failed as loud chuckles tumbled out of his mouth, Ian joining in, the air around them easing up even a little bit more.

 

“I know, I’m pathetic”

 

  
***

 

  
Ian swallowed, listening to the rain continuing to hammer down at the window right next to him as he looked down at the paper that was laying on his desk. It was still folded, and quite honestly, he was scared to open it. That hour spent with Mickey had been so fucking strange, to be honest. Awkward at first, sure - but then, it had just been… they had been friends. Laughing and joking, losing track of the fact that they were exes and they shouldn’t be getting along. He had forgotten that they were supposed to write a few rows of text about the person they had spent that hour with, but now all of the texts were written, and the classroom was quiet, everybody reading. Maybe it shouldn’t be that big of a deal.

 

They were meant to write a tiny bit about what they had learned and stuff - Ian had just written five rows or something. He had said how Mickey had a sense of humor or whatever, how he was nice - basically Ian had said the truth, but he hadn’t felt comfortable going too deep. Or deep at all, really. It was still to sensitive, all of it. Besides, these texts weren’t for the teacher to read, so Ian knew that anything could be on that paper. Anything that Mickey didn’t have the balls to say in person. Which was why he was scared to open the paper and read what Mickey had scribbled down, but he knew that he had to. So fuck it.

 

  
_Today, I spent an hour with Ian Gallagher. This summer, I spent much more than that. I thought I knew him, but before I could, I fucked up and I broke his heart. I learned a lot about Ian today. He’s strong, and he’s kind. And he can’t whistle for shit. But I never got the chance to tell him a secret, so here it is. This summer, I fell in love with Ian Gallagher._

 

  
***

 

  
_Today, I spent an hour with Mickey Milkovich. He’s not an open book or anything, but I did learn some things. Mickey is kind, and he’s funny. He makes mistakes just like anybody, but I’ve known him for a while now, and for the most part, Mickey Milkovich is a good guy._

 

Mickey read the words over a couple of times, but before he really had a ton of time to react, the sound of a chair being violently scraped across the floor startled the entire classroom. Mickey jumped in his seat, looking over to where the sound had come from. Ian stood up, taking long and angry strides out of the classroom, slamming the door on his way out into the hallway. Mickey saw the crumpled up piece of paper on his desk, and cursed his own soul for writing that shit down before he stood up himself, running right after him and leaving the class in a confused silence.

 

“Ian!” Mickey tried to get Ian to slow down, but he continued pacing through the empty hallway, his entire body almost visibly throbbing with anger. Jesus fucking christ, Mickey should have known that he would be pissed at him. “Ian! Would you hold the fuck up?!” He continued chasing after the taller man like a fucking bitch, knowing that they needed to work this out. Somehow.

 

Things had been calm all of twenty minutes ago, why did he have to go and fuck things up for them?

 

“Ian!” Against Mickey’s better judgement, he followed his ex boyfriend out of the school and into the cold, pouring rain. If he knew Ian right, he had wanted to have the rain pouring over him, just so that it would cool him down a little bit. Mickey couldn’t see all that much, but he continued walking after Ian, his own body starting to flame up in anger, the rain hitting the inside of his glasses and clouding his vision. They hadn't made it further than a few steps outside of the door before Ian turned around, placing his hands onto Mickey’s shoulders, pushing him. “What the fuck, Gallagher?!” Mickey screamed, losing his balance for a moment, his fingers itching to push back, though he knew that that would literally solve nothing. It would just make this fight even worse.

 

“How the fuck, Mickey?! How could you write that stuff, and if you really felt it, then how could you give up on us so easily, huh?!” Ian’s voice was loud, just barely overclouding the sound of the pouring rain and the thunder in the distance. Had this been a fucking movie or some shit, this probably would have ended up being some really romantic moment, or the moment when everything became okay again. This didn’t feel like a movie scene, it just felt… fuck, Mickey felt as if there was some kind of a wild animal clawing at his insides. He felt pain. So much of it as he looked up at Ian, seeing the hint of redness around his eyes. Maybe he was crying, but Mickey couldn’t quite tell through the grey haze of the rain, and he didn’t care to. He didn’t want to know.

 

“Galla - “

 

“No” Ian interrupted Mickey immediately, shaking his head. “It’s my fucking turn to talk” For some reason, Mickey stayed quiet and let him. “It’s not fucking fair, alright, Mick? Any of it. You don’t get to just fucking walk into my life, make me so fucking happy, and then just ruin it. You don’t get to toss me around, and have me come back whenever the fuck you want, and you don’t get to make me fall in love with you - and then just leave. Because I love you, Mickey. That’s what sucks, isn’t it? I love you so fucking much. I know that we’re in high school, and I know that it doesn’t make any sense - but it’s you. I love you. Or at least I did. But you ruined that. You ruined what we had and what we could have had, and that’s on you. Only you. You could have told me to back away, you could have told me you needed space, alright? It didn’t have to be all or nothing, but that’s how you saw it, and now we’re nothing. That’s your fault, that’s your problem, and if you want to fix it - if you want to explain, then you do it to my face. Not on a fucking piece of paper. Fucking asshole”

 

With the truth bomb spit into Mickey’s face, Ian walked inside of the school again, slamming the door behind himself and leaving Mickey alone on the steps in the pouring rain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh... yeah. Inspiration just kind of struck and here we are with an extra update? Whoops. I don't know if anybody will even end up noticing, but I'm just letting you guys know that I'm taking 2-3 weeks off from writing and updating just to have some summer for myself. Writing is something fun that I love doing and it's something that calms me down, but I need a while away from it all anyway, you know? I'll be back as usual in a couple of weeks, I promise! And I will still be on [tumblr](http://anothergallavichlove.tumblr.com/) and stuff if you want to connect with me. 
> 
> I hope that you all have an amazing day! <3 (and now I have a 7k chapter of another story to read through and edit, oh my god. I hate editing, does anyone else hate editing? I love writing, but... jfc)


	11. Stuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You have every right to scream at him, alright? Don’t feel bad about it” Ian opened his mouth to protest, but since they had known each other for so long, Scooter interrupted him before he had even pushed the words out of his mouth. “I don’t hate Mickey, alright? I don’t know the guy” Scooter said truthfully. “But he dumped you for no reason, so if you want to scream at him, you fucking scream, alright? Don’t feel like you owe him something or anything, because - if you do, you’ll be stuck”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Unedited because I'm lazy*

Mickey’s back was pressed against the corner of the couch, his feet propped up onto the cushions ahead of himself, his hand lazily wrapped around a bottle of beer as he watched some shitty ass cartoons that he didn’t care enough about to actually follow. His head carried around a slight ache, and he didn’t want to wonder whether it was the result of too little water in his system or the result of just… guilt. Regret.

 

In the two days since Ian had yelled at him outside of that school, he hadn’t done shit but sit on this damn couch and stir, turning everything over in his head all the while somehow managing to shut his brain off all at the same time. He just didn’t know what the fuck to do now? Did he go back to school and pretend like nothing? God fucking knows he had to go back at some point.

 

Did he go back and try to apologize to Ian - and if so, what the fuck was he supposed to say exactly? And did he want that to lead to them getting back together, or them just being cool without bad blood in between them? Mickey quite literally had all of the questions and none of the answers, so instead of trying to somehow figure them out, he sat here. On this couch in the livingroom that he shared with his sister, drinking beer and bathing in his self-loathing. Mickey sat here, acting like a bitter forty year old man when in reality, he wasn’t even eighteen yet. Probably fucking serves him right or some shit.

 

Mickey’s thumb was moving slightly back and forth, up and down, absentmindedly starting to peel some of the label off of the green glass bottle as Mandy exited her room, digging through her bag to make sure that she had everything she needed to get through this day of classes. Her long, dark hair was as usual tied up into that ponytail, her bangs falling down over her eyes just a little bit while the metal ring punched through her nose glimmered in the slight morning light that was slipping in through the light colored blinds.

 

The dark purple, slim fitted v neck that was sitting on her upper body ended right as her black, distressed jeans begun, the skinny legs tapering off into a pair of her regular black chucks. She stopped behind the couch for a second or so. Maybe it was a little bit more.

 

For a beat, she just watched the back of his head, watched it move as he took another deep swallow out of the bottle of beer and watched as he continued sitting just about completely still as he had been for the part month. Well - two days, probably but in her opinion, it might as well have been a month and she wasn’t sure whether she should be pissed or feel bad for him. On one hand, she wanted to hug her twin brother and say that everything was going to be okay, because she knew that on one level or another, he was hurting. He missed Ian.

 

Of course, Mickey wasn’t one to talk to his sister, really. Not about really important shit like this - not while he was right in the middle of it all. So she couldn’t really be completely, one hundred percent certain about whether he wanted Ian back, or if he just missed him as a whole. Then - there was the pissed part of her. The one that wanted to scream and shout that he had himself to blame.

 

That he had had no good reason to break up with Ian, and that while he had had all right to - anybody always did - he didn’t have any right to sit on this couch and sulk, just because he felt bad or something. That wasn’t fair. So no - Mandy didn’t know what the fuck to feel today, really. Or what to say, what to do.

 

Finally, though - pissed won.

 

“Oh, Mickey - would you grow the fuck up already?” As the loud, exasperated words escaped Mandy’s lips, she started moving her feet, walking around the couch so that she was standing by the side of the old, unsteady coffee table, looking down at her brother who had jumped slightly at her sudden words, but by now recovered from the shock, leaning back against the cushions and looking up at her, his hand still curled around the bottle of beer while he blinked, both of them knowing that he wouldn’t say shit in response until she clarified what she was walking about.

 

Despite the fact that they both knew all too well, of course. Mickey was an idiot. That was a secret - had never been one. And he wasn’t all that confused. For a second, maybe he had wanted Ian back - but he didn’t now. That wasn’t the reason why he was sulking. He was sulking because relationship or not, Ian was one of the best guys he had ever met in his entire life. And he hated him now. It just sucked, despite the fact that Mickey knew exactly who he had to blame for it. Mickey raised his hands a little bit in a replacement of a shrug, his eyebrows climbing up a little bit as well while he blinked up at his twin sister.

 

“What?” Mandy crossed her arms where she stood, wondering for a second or two whether she should just swallow her irritation and walk out the door. Ultimately, though - Mickey needed to hear this and she needed to get it out. So she took a deep breath, she opened her mouth, fully intending on screaming at him. Dropping some truth bombs, only - then she relaxed again.

 

And she took one more deep breath, sinking down on the couch, her heavy bag landing on the floor next to her for now, the air around them changing from ‘I’m your fucking sister and I’m gonna beat your ass if you don’t get up and dust yourself off right this fucking second’ to just ‘You need some help getting up and dusting yourself off?’.

 

“What did he say to you?” Mandy asked. Her voice wasn’t exactly soft, and this wasn’t going to be one of their - very rare - heart to hearts. But she wasn’t screaming either. She just sort of wanted to understand. She had believed that she had understood when Mickey had first broken up with Ian, but then again - who the fuck knows what really goes on inside of the mind of Mickey Milkovich?

 

He liked to share just about as much about his personal life as she did herself. They had just never been the kind of people to talk and talk and talk. Silence and beer usually did the drink for them to get themselves back onto their feet, but in this case - the beer and the silence had lasted a little bit too long, and Mandy wanted to help her brother somehow. She just didn’t know how exactly to do that right now.

 

Especially not if he wouldn’t talk to her. Of course - she couldn’t be sure that Ian had said something to Mickey to make him go back under, but she figured it was a fair guess. Mickey had been doing somewhat alright, and then they had been forced to talk to each other that one class, and now Mickey was here. Whether it served him right or not was another story, yet Mandy didn’t like seeing him like this.

 

“The fuck you talking about?” It was a lame excuse for a cover-up, and they both knew it. Still, Mickey’s eyes were now on the cartoons instead of his sister, and Mandy did nothing for a second. She could have started screaming right then and there - yelled at him to go get his shit together.

 

Another option would have been to just push herself up from the couch and walk out so that she could get to school on time, leaving Mickey alone to swim in his carefully prepared bath of self-loathing. Then again - for some reason she felt a little bit softer today than she usually was, so she did neither of those things. Instead she stayed seated, watching the side of her twin-brother’s face for a moment. After that, she sighed.

 

“Don’t fucking give me that” There was some heat to the words - not a whole lot. “Ian said something to you, what the fuck was it? Because whatever it was is the reason you’re sitting on this couch, swallowing beer after beer instead of dealing with your life, so talk” At that, Mickey could only sigh, shaking his head weakly, still not braving a look at his sister.

 

“I’m not talking to you about this shit, Mandy”

 

“Does it have to do with you guys fucking each other?” Mandy raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms once again as she waited, Mickey finally looking at her with his eyebrows knitted together.

 

“No, what the fuck?!”

 

“Then you’re talking to me about it” Mandy stated firmly, making it clear that her brother had virtually no choice what so ever. For another second, Mickey stayed silent, the blue, just about identical eyes looking into one another’s as the shitty cartoons continued to echo throughout the open space of the livingroom, the wheels inside of Mickey’s head turning and turning and turning before finally, he shrugged and he shook his head.

 

“Don’t want to talk to you about this shit, alright? Let it go, Mands. I’ll drag myself back up soon, but not now - “ Mandy took a quick breath, furrowing her brows and parting her lips to protest, but Mickey shut her back down. “Not now. Let it the fuck go, I swear” He frowned, his face plain. Maybe it was harsh, because he was more than aware of the fact that Mandy wanted nothing more than to help her brother - get him off of the couch and smiling again. As much as he had ever smiled, at least. But what he said was the truth - maybe in the past, he had needed her to slap him across the face and pull him up onto his feet, but that wasn’t what he needed now. That wasn’t what he wanted.

 

For now, all he wanted to do was stay here on this very couch, drinking his beer while he bathed in that welcoming seat of self-loathing - yeah, he loathed himself for what he had done to Ian. The truth was that he probably hadn’t quite understood how much pain he had caused until he had thrown it right back into his face that day in the rain in front of the school. That day, pain had been ever present in Mickey’s gut. An uncomfortableness, an uneasiness. Because that was the day when he had finally got it. And he didn’t want Ian back - he… he loved him, sure. Maybe he did. But he didn’t want a boyfriend, that wasn’t why he was beating himself up - he was beating himself up because he had hurt Ian.

 

Ian was an amazing person, and he didn’t deserve any of that shit. Mickey hated himself because he could easily see the two of them mirrored in Mandy and whatever sleezebag she had dated last - Mickey never bothered to remember their names. Only - in that parallel, Mickey wasn’t his twin sister. Ian was. Ian was the nice person who only wanted to love somebody, and Mickey was the asshole who broke his heart without - outwardly - thinking twice. If that wasn’t fucked up, then well, he wasn’t exactly sure what would classify as that.

 

Thankfully - in somewhat of a rare moment - Mandy understood. The frown stayed on her face, but Mickey could see the moment in which she decided that it would be best not to push it. Mickey brought his hand up to his bottom lip, thumbing it once, or maybe twice. Then he let it drop to his lap, the other one staying curled around the bottle of beer in the somewhat silent livingroom.

 

Since Mickey and Mandy had been on their own - well, officially, at least; technically they had been left on their own their entire lives - they had somehow gotten to know each other even better, however that was possible because they had spent every single second by each other’s sides since the very second that they had been born to begin with. Yet, within moving from one side of the country to another, and just completely uprooting their lives - for something better, but still - they had been forced to lean on each other even more.

 

So while a lot of the time, Mickey might need a slap across the face and a few insults thrown in his face, Mandy was well aware that this wasn’t one of those times. And he didn’t need a heart to heart with her - he needed to be left alone. That was all. So without saying another word, really - Mandy pushed herself to stand up and she quickly grabbed the beer out of his grip before he could as much as flinch. Mickey frowned, parting his lips to protest, but saying nothing while his sister walked over to the kitchen and put the bottle onto the counter, opening the refrigerator door and retrieving a bottle of water, walking over and handing that to him instead.

 

Then Mandy picked her bag up off of the floor, and she turned around, walking out of the apartment.

 

  
***

 

  
Mandy’s thin legs were folded into the indian position while she sat on one of the large, wooden benches right at the edge of the area that was considered school grounds. People were kind of running all over the place, screaming and laughing and talking, and collecting their shit for the other however many classes they all had left today. But Mandy felt the slight wind in her hair as she held her sandwich in her hands, taking a bite every now and then. She probably looked lonely, but she wasn’t. Not at all.

 

During the little time that she had been in this town, to this school, she had actually gathered up quite a few friends. It wasn’t all that normal for her to sit by herself and eat her lunch instead of just busting their balls or stealing their fries. Today, for some reason she just wasn’t feeling it, though. She wanted to be alone. She wasn’t sad, and she wasn’t… she wasn’t all that sure how to explain it other than - as silly as it sounded - when her brother was in pain, she was in pain. It wasn’t literally, it wasn’t as if when he stubbed his toe, she would scream in pain from it - which she had actual heard could happen between twins, by the way, so what the fuck? No.

 

It was nothing like that. It was just that - and maybe this sounded fucked up, but she didn’t give a fuck, really because it had pretty much always been the truth - they had grown up so closely tied together.

 

They had been through the same rough times, the same moments and the same pain. Mickey was a complete and utter asshole sometimes - nobody could deny that - but Mandy loved him, and she never liked to see him down or upset or sad. She wanted him to be happy, and though they weren’t the kind of siblings to verbally admit it on a regular basis - or really at all - she loved him. So much. So of course she was a little bit down right now. It was to be expected, she supposed.

 

“Is it okay if I sit down for a minute?” The voice made Mandy look up quickly, eyes connecting with her best friends’ as he nodded, scooting a little bit to the side to give Sabrina space enough to do just that. It hadn’t taken very long at all before Mandy and Sabrina had taken to each other - maybe because they both were in quite desperate need of a female friend. Maybe Mandy’s brother dumping Sabrina’s other best friend should have put some kind of a kink in that friendship or strain on it, but it was all the same.

 

Their relationship didn’t revolve around Ian or Mickey either. “How are you doing? I didn’t see you around much today until just now” Sabrina spoke while she turned herself towards her friend, placing one of her feet flat onto the bench in between them, the dark, jean-clad leg slightly bent while her other one hung off of the wooden surface. Her long, brown-tinted fingers ended with perfectly filed, naked nails that were toying with the plastic lid of her - from the looks of it soon-to-be-empty - Starbucks cup.

 

The dark, slightly wavy dark brown hair was collected up into a ponytail at the back of her head, her face free of makeup, making her entire look incredibly lazy and relaxed because of the fact that her day was filled with long math and biology classes. Her shirt was most likely something she had grabbed from Scooter this morning, a white large tank top with some kind of black and white graphic design on it that Mandy couldn’t make out because of the way Sabrina was sitting with one of her legs bunched up.

 

“I’m fine, don’t worry” Mandy waved her off, taking another bite of her sandwich. “Just… been around” She shrugged then, still having some inside of her mouth, chewing as she spoke, her best friend nodding in understanding. After she had swallowed, she let her hand drop to her lap again, waiting for a second before she turned back, looking at Sabrina. “Have you talked to Ian since…?”

 

  
***

 

  
“You know…” Scooter’s steps were somewhat heavy as he made his way up the small, grass covered hill, walking towards his best friend’s back. Ian was sitting at the very top, his legs stretched out in front of himself as he watched out over everybody, looking at everything at the same time as he was looking at virtually nothing at all. He hadn’t had any lunch as most people were right now, he just didn’t have the appetite for some reason. And Ian was well aware of the fact that he shouldn’t feel bad about screaming at Mickey like that - god fucking knows that he had deserved it, more than deserved it to be honest - but Ian couldn’t quite help that uneasiness in his stomach. It only grew more intense with every day that passed where he didn’t see Mickey.

 

It wasn’t as if he had any kind of burning desire to talk to him or make up, really - but they had a lot of the same classes to he was aware of the fact that Mickey hadn’t been to school since everything went down. Unless - of course, he was just skipping all of the classes that he knew Ian would be in as well, and frankly - Ian wouldn’t put that possibility past him. Still, Ian was just a little bit worried that maybe he had been way too hard on him. Mickey was a guy who was struggling to figure things out. Figure himself out and figure his life out overall, and it was difficult for him - Ian knew this better than anybody. Well - he knew this, at least. The better than anybody part could be argued because Ian was starting to think that Mickey was never all that open with him after all.

 

They had only been together for a few weeks and they were two seventeen yearold boys, so a lot of that time had been spent, well… doing anything but talking. So after all - how well was it really possible for them to know each other? They knew they loved each other. Well… to some kind of a degree. And they knew that they shouldn’t be together and that shit was messed up, but what else? In the end, when it all came down to it, maybe Ian and Mickey were just two very lost teenage boys, not knowing where to go or what to do next, or -

 

“Ian”

 

“What?” The startled voice jumped out of Ian’s mouth as Scooter walked closer to him, sitting down onto the flat patch of dry grass, looking at Ian. Fiona had once again shaved his head, the few inches that had grown out now gone again. The black t shirt on his body was a couple of sizes too big, giving Scooter the impression that it was probably Lip’s at some point. Ian looked like his best friend.

 

Talked like his best friend. But he wasn’t. Ever since the whole thing with Mickey had gone down, he just… he was somebody else. He was a little bit more quiet, he seemed a little bit more sensitive. The skin underneath his eyes were about a half shade cooler than it should be. All of these were small things.

 

Small things that most people probably wouldn’t even notice - but Scooter did. Sabrina had, too. Of course they had noticed their best friend’s heartbreak. It wasn’t as if they thought he would never come back from it - he would. It hadn’t been very long at all since the split, but that didn’t mean that Scooter had to like seeing his best friend like this. As a matter of fact - he could think of few worse things than seeing somebody he loved going through something that obviously hurt this bad. Something he couldn’t run to the drugstore for to help them.

 

“I said, you know if you keep sitting alone on this hill, people are going to think you’re turning into a loner” Scooter repeated his previous statement that Ian had clearly been way too wrapped up in his own thoughts - understandably so - to take a note of. The words didn’t get much more than a slight snort out of Ian, his eyes focused ahead, still looking at everything and nothing, his blinks slow. Scooter was quiet for a beat. And then another one. Then he swallowed, opening his mouth to speak. “You’re not doing all that well with this, are you?”

 

Ian had never been a ‘poor me’ kind of person, which was one of the reasons why most people probably wouldn’t notice his pain. He didn’t put in a ton of effort to hide it - but he would also never milk it, because he knew that this was his pain, his problem and he would never really feel the need to throw it onto somebody else’s shoulders and force them to carry the weight for him. He didn’t speak at first, and Scooter stayed silent, blinking while he waited, knowing Ian well enough by now to understand that he had this time heard his words loud and clear, he was just sorting through his brain to figure out exactly what to say. Ian’s shoulders went up for a moment, his eyebrows drawing together just a tiny bit while a sigh escaped his lips. He didn’t know what to say to that - not at all. Sure, Ian could admit how much he was hurting.

 

He could tell Scooter about how he had been absolutely sure that Mickey had been the one, but how he had been doing alright - until that day. Yeah. Ian had been doing somewhat alright, until he had been forced to talk to him. Forced to look at him, forced to face it all. Maybe he was being overly dramatic about all of this - he wasn’t sure. But either way, he was in high school, so why shouldn’t he be dramatic over a breakup? Fuck, this could easily be some kind of a chick flick, what was even going on with him?

 

And why was he feeling so fucking bad over his verbal attack against Mickey? He didn’t know - he didn’t know in or out or up and down, which was why ten minutes after Scooter’s question, he was still silent, just watching out over the school grounds, still frowning. Ian could have said anything - he could have waved his friend off. He could have assured him that he was just fine and that Scooter had nothing to worry about at all. But then again - Scooter was his best friend, and Ian knew that if he didn’t tell the truth, he would be able to tell. So Ian took somewhat of a deep breath, collecting himself and then he spoke just that - the truth. With a shaky voice and eyes still focused ahead.

 

“No” The word sounded somewhat pathetically broken, wavering and shaking with pain.

 

Not overly so - but the hints of the emotions were there. Ian didn’t have to fight any tears back or anything, but his heart hurt a little bit - it did. It always did these days, it seemed. It was stupid, possibly. Idiotic. Still, he couldn’t shake this. Ian had loved Mickey - maybe it had been nothing more but puppy-love, but regardless of that fact, it had still been the closest thing to real love that he had ever felt, so of course it hurt. A lot, even.

 

“A little bit confused, I guess. I don’t know” Ian added a minute or so later, his voice still shaking every so slightly, Scooter staying seated by his side on the grass, frowning a little bit while he listened to his best friend’s words, picking a little bit at the dark blue denim fabric that was covering his own knee, blinking slowly while the sun disappeared behind the clouds for a moment, relieving them both of the heat and the annoying light.

 

“‘Bout?” Scooter asked after a beat, the sun appearing again above them and making for a very confusing kind of weather. Ian shrugged, once again, staying quiet for yet another beat. He looked ahead for a moment, and then he turned his head along with his body more towards Scooter so that they could have an actual conversation rather than staring at each other’s ears.

 

For the sake of the truth - Ian wasn’t all too sure that talking about all of this would help him get his head screwed on any straighter whatsoever. Him, Scooter and Sabrina had never really been the kind of friends to go super in depth with each other about their lives, or rant for hours, or cry into each other’s shoulders - sometimes they did, sure.

 

At one point or another, each of them had cried on all shoulders in their tiny friend group, but it also wasn’t something that happened all too often. Maybe a few times a year.

 

Sometimes talking about this stuff made Ian feel better, and sometimes it made him feel like even more of a failure, or… yeah. He couldn’t find a better way to explain it. So if he had a fifty-fifty shot of getting rid of some of this guilt, maybe he should take it. So he shrugged, and then he talked.

 

“I yelled at him the other day. Called him out on his bullshit, but… now I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t have”

 

“Cut it out” Scooter’s quick, and somewhat harsh answer caught Ian off guard, and he frowned, silently asking his friend to elaborate. The brunet stayed quiet for a beat, or maybe it was two - then he sighed and he started speaking. “You have every right to scream at him, alright? Don’t feel bad about it” Ian opened his mouth to protest, but since they had known each other for so long, Scooter interrupted him before he had even pushed the words out of his mouth. “I don’t hate Mickey, alright? I don’t know the guy” Scooter said truthfully. “But he dumped you for no reason, so if you want to scream at him, you fucking scream, alright? Don’t feel like you owe him something or anything, because - if you do, you’ll be stuck”

 

At the words, Ian just frowned for a minute, trying to figure it out. Trying to figure out whether Scooter was right, or if he was wrong - most of the time, he was right.

 

  
***

 

  
Later that day, Mickey hadn’t moved much. He was still sitting on that couch in their livingroom, his hand curled around a new bottle of beer as he mindlessly blinked at the flickering television screen, not really bothering to follow what exactly was going on in the shitty ass episode of south park that he was watching. His eyebrows were furrowed, the black wifebeater on his body surely littered with coffee and beer stains that he couldn’t see thanks to the color. Surely, he smelled like weed and beer and who he fuck knows what else?

 

Mickey was pathetic.

 

He knew this. Mickey had no right to sit on the couch and sulk because Ian had dropped some truth bombs onto him - Ian had been right. About every single thing, and Mickey was well aware of this fact as well. But ultimately - he felt stuck. He felt stuck on this couch, in these clothes, in this apartment. He felt stuck in this phase of his life, and he wasn’t completely sure how he should get out of it, or what to do to do so.

 

So for the next ten minutes or so, Mickey just stayed seated there, on that couch. He drank some more of his beer, and he listened to the episode, his head slightly tilted to the side, face blank. And then - then the episode was over. Mickey had swallowed the last of the beer, all of which left him with an empty bottle and a television screen that was showing something he had little to no interest in. Somehow - he was done. With all of it. For days, he had been sitting here, feeling sorry for himself. He couldn’t do it anymore. Mickey had fucked up, and one day or another, he would have to deal with that fact. If not today, then when the fuck? Right?

 

So Mickey swallowed, he put the empty beer bottle down onto the table ahead of him, and he stood up, lifting the remote up and pressing the button that turned the television screen black once again, the room silent, relieved of the shitty cartoon noises.

 

Mickey was done. He couldn’t be stuck here anymore, he had to pick himself up. Now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. Here it is. I'm so sorry for the wait, but I hope that this was somewhat worth it. Things will start coming back together soon! <3


	12. Crazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You were my best friend, man” The red eyebrows knitted together at that, Mickey’s tongue slipping out of his mouth to swipe across his bottom lip. “You were my boyfriend, yeah, but you’re a good guy. We talked and shit too, so… it just kind of sucks that you hate me now. Even though I deserve it.” It blew Mickey’s mind how sometimes his mouth would speak and leave his brain behind, yet the words that came out of his mouth would end up so much better than anything his brain would ever have been able to come up with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still unedited, because I'm lazy af

Later that night was when Mickey was starting to realize that maybe picking himself up and dusting himself off - and thereby moving on - wasn’t as easy as he would have liked it to be after all. Sure, by ten, almost eleven o’clock that night, he was showered and he had clean clothes on - and because of that he felt somehow just a little bit better about himself - but then what?

 

Yes, originally Mickey’s plan had of course been to just go to bed and wake up and go to school and force himself to at least get grades above an F. And all of that sounded good - all of that sounded okay, and fine and whatever the fuck. But one thing was messing him up still.

 

Mickey was more than aware of the fact that - as much as he would love to deny it - he would never really, truly be able to focus on anything until this shit between Ian and him was settled, until they were okay. The last time they had seen each other, Ian had screamed into Mickey’s face, and while Mickey more than understood his anger - and could regard every word that had come out of his mouth as true and honest - that didn’t seem right, and that didn’t seem like an ending. It wasn’t as if Mickey wanted Ian back, to be honest - that whole thing was still… really confusing.

 

Mickey didn’t want Ian as a boyfriend - he didn’t want a boyfriend, period. But, he did want something. A conversation, some kind of ending, some kind of conclusion. No matter how pathetic it sounded, and no matter how much of a chick it made him - he wanted it. Mickey for some fucked up reason wanted to look into Ian’s eyes - and… and then what? Fuck if he knew, was he going to apologize, was he going to cry, was he going to ask Ian if they could be friends - yeah. Right.

 

Mickey had no fucking idea what he should do, or why exactly he was feeling this way, because he had been doing somewhat alright before that fucking day. Before that class when the teacher had forced them into talking - even if it hadn’t been his fault or whatever the fuck, Mickey needed somebody to blame.

 

So here Mickey was, at almost eleven o’clock at night, pacing back and forth across the livingroom floor, surely driving his sister completely insane as she was trying to fall asleep in her room. He shouldn’t be doing this today. He should go to bed, and he should wake up and see how he felt tomorrow. He was tired - even though he wasn’t feeling it, surely the need for sleep was currently affecting his judgement a little bit. So this wasn’t a smart thing to do. He shouldn’t be awake, he shouldn’t be thinking about his ex boyfriend, and he surely shouldn’t be thinking about doing what he was thinking about doing.

 

Then again - lack of sleep mixed with the small amount of alcohol still running throughout his veins didn’t exactly keep him in the perfect state of mind. Mickey knew Ian well enough by now to be aware of the fact that he wasn’t asleep yet - he didn’t go to bed until at least one am - sometimes even two. Though by now most other people in the city were in fact asleep, so if Mickey wanted to have some time alone with… with Ian, just to talk, well then… what better time, right? Then again - fuck. Mickey’s mind was spinning like a fucking race car, around and around and around while his feet did the same thing, though on a much smaller scale. The more Mickey considered this idea, the more ridiculous it became, and the more he felt as if he needed to do it.

 

The air in the apartment suddenly felt heavy, and he just… fuck. Maybe this was what a panic attack was. Or not. Either way, he was stressed out of his fucking mind over this, and he didn’t even know why. This wasn’t who he was, not really. Mickey was a calm person, a somewhat rational person, though he may not look it. Apparently that was not who he was tonight.

 

Before Mickey was really all that aware of what exactly he was doing, his feet had stopped, his eyes looking down at the coffee table ahead of him. His heart was beating at a somewhat normal pace, though maybe it wouldn’t hurt if he could somehow get it to slow down a little bit. It was stupid - all of this was stupid. Every single decision that Mickey had made about Ian had been stupid.

 

From kissing him to fucking him, to falling in love with him and to dumping him. Mickey hadn’t been ready for any of it, not really. And now, here he was. Stuck. Not knowing what the fuck to do. Which was maybe why he now had his phone in his hand, tiredly sinking down into one of the corners of the couch, swallowing roughly as he unlocked it. Some old, shitty ass cartoons were muted on the television, giving the livingroom that flickering light that somehow said home, and it calmed Mickey down just enough. Stupid.

 

This was stupid. He just… that was all he could possibly think right now. It was stupid. But stupid - in this moment - didn’t mean that he wouldn’t do it. So before he could overthink it, that text had left his phone to find Ian’s.

 

Mickey: ‘You up? Can I come over?’

 

Once that whooshing sound reached Mickey’s ears, he locked the device again, throwing it to the side while he did his best to focus on the shitty ass cartoons. He had never felt more like a childish ass fifteen year old girl than in this very moment. Things with him and Ian were… he didn’t know up, and he didn’t know down, if he was being honest.

 

Did he love Ian? Had they simply had some kind of summer love, though he hated that phrase? Had it been the right decision for them to split? Should Mickey be regretting it? Should he be on his knees, sobbing for Ian to forgive him and take him back? Yeah, fucking right. Ian wasn’t to blame, though - this was all on Mickey, and he knew that. He was scared. Ian was kind, and he was hot, and he was… Ian was one of the popular kids, he was a jock. Maybe that was a stupid thing to be uncomfortable wit, but Mickey couldn’t help it. He just couldn’t.

 

Being a jock meant that a lot of people liked Ian, a lot of people looked up to him. Surely he had both guys and girls running after him, hoping to get some. Mickey had never been close to Ian in school for very long, but that’s what he could assume. It was scary, to Mickey. Because none of that had ever been his world. He would never be comfortable on Ian’s arm with a swarm of people around them - the jocks were the Justin Bieber’s of their school, and Mickey knew this.

 

Maybe he hadn’t seen Ian surrounded by people, but he had seen his teammates, and he knew that that was how their particular school worked for some fucked up reason. It wasn’t as if the girls screamed or anything, but they certainly threw themselves at the guys on the team, and everybody wanted to be friends with the jocks, whether they were guys or girls. It was just… not Mickey’s thing. And in fact - Mickey’s thought trail was cut off by the click of his phone, signalling Ian’s response.

 

Ian: ‘Yeah. I don’t know, why?’

 

Mickey sighed a little bit as he stared down at the screen - he supposed he could easily have deserved a nasty answer, he should be thankful that this was neutral. Yet, he froze for a second or so, just continuing to blink down at the screen, doing his best to come up with some kind of answer - why? Why did he want to come over to his ex boyfriend’s house at eleven pm? He knew what the obvious answer would be - and a backslide was probably what Ian was assuming he was getting at as well, but truthfully - no.

 

Mickey didn't have any interest in having a meaningless backslide - well, no interest was probably an exaggeration, it wasn’t as if he would say no - but that wasn’t why he had texted Ian to begin with. So why? Mickey had all of the answers in his brain, he just didn’t know how to mold them into words. Words that he could type out. How was he supposed to explain any of this shit to Ian anyway? How was he supposed to explain anything, when he just barely had a grip on it all himself? It didn’t make much sense. Mickey’s fingers moved over the keyboard on his phone, his brain not having much to do with it.

 

Mickey: ‘Just to talk, Ian.’ Mickey paused for a second, hesitating before adding the last word and then pressing send. ‘Please’

 

After that, Mickey just sat there, staring down at the screen and waiting for a response. He didn’t give a fuck if it was pathetic - maybe because he was still somewhat drunk from all of the beer he had consumed today and yesterday. That was also probably the reason why he was even coming up with the idea to go to Ian’s house this late at night anyway. Either way, here he was, looking down at the screen and chewing the inside of his bottom lip, waiting. Hoping, maybe, that the next message would be a green light. Or at least a somewhat yellow light. Another sound reached his ears, and there it was, right there on the screen.

 

Ian: ‘Alright’

 

  
***

 

  
The walk to Ian’s house wasn’t very long, and Mickey had walked over there at least a handful of times before they had broken up. The night was spread out like some kind of blanket over the city, and Mickey’s steps were heavy as his shoes hit the pavement over and over again at somewhat of a steady pace. His hands were shoved down into the pockets of his hoodie, his eyes switching in between looking up ahead and looking down at the black surface that he was moving across.

 

The only thing that gave him some kind of light was the occasional streetlight here and there, though a lot of them were on their way to cutting out. The air was just a little bit chill by now, but not anywhere near the point where Mickey would be freezing. His feet just continued moving forwards, taking him to Ian’s house all the while Mickey’s mind was quite literally miles and miles away.

 

Why the fuck was he doing this, and what the fuck was he supposed to say to Ian when he got there? It was quite obvious that Ian had been hesitant to let him come over to begin with - understandably so - so Mickey knew that he better have something really fucking compelling or important to tell him. Maybe he would, and maybe he wouldn’t. Fuck if Mickey knew, if he was being honest. But right now, in this moment, the only thing that somehow seemed to matter inside of his messy brain, was the fact that he wanted to see him. Maybe he even needed to see him, whatever the fuck that meant.

 

And there he was. By the time Mickey made it to the old gate of the Gallagher house, Ian was waiting out on the porch in the darkness. One single, crappy ass streetlight was still working not at all far from the house, so Mickey could see his face. He was sitting casually on the top step, his feet planted one or two steps below, his forearms leaned onto his knees.

 

His hair was even shorter than it had been that day - he must have let his sister buzz it off again. For a second, Mickey became aware of the fact that he couldn’t remember what Ian’s older’s sister’s name was again. He knew that there was Fiona and there was Debbie - he just couldn’t remember who was who. It was stupid, but it was once again one of those tiny realizations that made Mickey understand how little time he and Ian had really spent getting to know each other. They didn’t, really - they didn’t know each other, yet somehow they felt - or Mickey felt - as if they somehow had some kind of connection.

 

It was probably twisted, but it was the truth. For a second or so, they just stayed still. Mickey stood outside of the gate, the up and down movements of his chest starting to become a little bit more noticeable as his heart sped up, just from looking into those eyes again, even if it was from a distance. His hands clenched into fists in his pockets, and then straightened out again, his lips parting.

 

He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know what to do next. It didn’t seem as if Ian did either. Mickey wished that he could say something, that there was some magical word or some shit that would explain to Ian why he was here. But he didn’t know of one, so instead they just blinked, both of them a little bit tired, trying to figure things out. The only noises were the ones of the cars whooshing past somewhere in the distance, but right around them, it was just quiet. So quiet. Then;

 

“Why are you here, Mickey?” Ian pushed himself up to stand as he spoke, his voice sounding just a tiny bit more flat than Mickey was used to hearing it. He walked down the few steps, and then continuing towards the gate while Mickey opened it and walked onto the Gallagher property, meeting his ex boyfriend about half way. They stopped in front of each other, a good meter or so in between them. Mickey looked up at him, swallowing the lump in his throat while he frantically searched through his cloudy brain for an answer.

 

An answer that would make sense, an answer that would make Ian nod and understand Mickey a little bit better - rather than an answer that would make him sigh and turn back around again. It was a fine line, so Mickey stayed quiet, looking up into those deep, green eyes for a moment before he had to tear the contact and look over his shoulder instead. This was stupid - idiotic. Mickey was well aware of the fact that they hadn’t dated for very long, and he didn’t even want to be with Ian - as far as he understood himself.

 

So why was he here? Really? Was it because he needed Ian to tell him that he forgave him? And if so - then that would be selfish as fuck, right? Because that would be for Mickey’s own benefit in that case, it would technically have nothing to do with Ian in the end. Or was the feeling deep inside that Mickey wasn’t sure how to interpret simply a need to keep Ian in his life? To be friends? And if that was the case - yeah, fucking right. They would end up fucking eventually, and they would be in a place even worse than they were right now. Ian stayed silent, making it clear that he wanted an answer. So finally - Mickey gave him one. The real one.

 

“I got no fucking idea, man” One single, bitter chuckle escaped Ian’s nose, and Mickey could see his shoulder twitch in preparation to turn around and walk back inside of the house, but he seemed to change his mind.

 

Mickey knew that it was late - almost midnight now - so if he didn’t come up with something useful to say soon, then this all would end with more confusion in between them, and that was the last thing that he wanted, so he once again searched, trying to come up with something - anything, really - to say that wouldn’t sound like complete bullshit.

 

“Look, the other day…” Mickey begun, Ian’s facial expression changing a little bit - just a tiny bit, in the shine from the streetlight - and Mickey knew that he was listening. He had never really explained anything to Ian, but now he had his chance. His attention. Words had never once been Mickey’s thing, but it was now or fucking never, he supposed. “You were right, okay? ‘Bout everything”

 

It wasn’t as if Mickey actually knew where he was going with this, but he guessed that if he just spoke, then maybe some truth would come spilling up - truth he wanted Ian to hear. Maybe truth he wasn’t even aware of himself. Ian’s arms were crossed over his chest while he listened, taking in the words and waiting for more.

 

“I was scared” Mickey admitted. “Scared and fucked up because y - we just fucking threw ourselves into something, and I ain’t never been in a relationship before. Alright? I’ve never been - “

 

“Mickey, this isn’t a good idea” Ian interrupted him soon, and Mickey fell quiet, frowning for a second. As he looked up into those green eyes, he realized something - they were filled with pain.

 

Pain and regret, and suddenly the weight on his chest became even a little bit heavier. He wished that he knew exactly what to say - that he knew what he wanted to have said tonight, but he didn’t. He didn’t know what he wanted to gain from seeing Ian tonight, and he didn’t know what the fuck was going through either of their minds, really. All he knew was that he was standing in front of his ex boyfriend as he clock was about to strike midnight, both of their eyes stinging.

 

Mickey’s throat was dry, neither of them saying anything for quite a while. Instead they were still, just looking. The adams-apple in Ian’s throat bopped up and down a few times, which Mickey could only see thanks to the weak streetlight that was still shining behind himself.

 

“I’m not here to get you back” Mickey assured him after surely at least three minutes of complete and absolute silence; Ian seemed surprised by the statement - understandably so, Mickey supposed. He had, after all called him up in the middle of the night and asked to meet.

 

It was a fair assumption, but he truly felt as if he was telling the truth within the words. Ian didn’t say anything, though - instead he just stayed quiet, obviously waiting for Mickey to talk some more. He knew that Mickey wasn’t one to talk a lot, so it was completely within his right to demand some answers when he finally had the chance.

 

The only ‘answers’ he had ever really gotten were half-assed ones, and the ones from Mandy, which he honestly didn’t really want to go on. Not because he didn’t believe she was telling her truth, but because she wasn’t Mickey. She couldn’t possibly know everything that was going on inside of his brain at all times, so now - Ian wanted Mickey’s side of it all, and he could tell from the way the shorter teenagers’ chest heaved up and down once, his lips parting, that he was about to get it. Finally.

 

“You had every fucking right to curse my ass out. I don’t blame you, I did…” Mickey trailed off for a second, looking away from Ian’s eyes before re-establishing the eye-contact and changing directions of his words, where he was going with all of this shit. “What I did wasn’t fair, and I want you to know that I regret it, I guess. Not breaking up with you, that was… kind of unavoidable or whatever, but… how I did it. It sucked, how suddenly I did it - sucked. So I’m sorry”

 

Mickey was more than aware of the fact that the words sounded messy, and he knew that it sounded as if he didn’t mean any of it, but hopefully Ian knew him well enough by now to know that he did. Words had never been Mickey’s thing, he had always sort of hated expressing himself verbally, he never knew how to do it. Plus also, a lot of the time, he didn’t know what he was feeling himself, so how the fuck was he supposed to let somebody else know how he felt? That was all messed up.

 

Their eyes were connected again, and Ian seemed to sigh, though Mickey couldn’t really hear it thanks to the car that raced along the street behind him right then and there. Ian dug his fingertips into his own clothed arms, looking as if he was thinking something over. As if he was turning Mickey’s previous words over inside of his head, trying to figure out what exactly to make of them. Understandably so - this whole thing was sort of coming out of the blue. Which was maybe why Mickey felt the need to open his mouth again.

 

“You were my best friend, man” The red eyebrows knitted together at that, Mickey’s tongue slipping out of his mouth to swipe across his bottom lip. “You were my boyfriend, yeah, but you’re a good guy. We talked and shit too, so… it just kind of sucks that you hate me now. Even though I deserve it.” It blew Mickey’s mind how sometimes his mouth would speak and leave his brain behind, yet the words that came out of his mouth would end up so much better than anything his brain would ever have been able to come up with. Maybe it wasn’t his mouth speaking, though. Maybe it was his heart - then again, that sounded cheesy and girly as fuck, so never mind. “I just miss you, man. As a person first of all, I guess” Mickey shrugged while he looked up at the taller boy, Ian staying quiet, once again seemingly turning the words over inside of his brain, trying to figure out what to make of them exactly, what to say back. Finally;

 

“I miss you too, Mickey” That’s it. That was the exact moment when everything just snapped, and Mickey realized it. When he realized that all of the shit that he had been telling himself - about being scared, about being too busy, about not being ready for a boyfriend - it was all complete and utter bullshit.

 

The way that Ian’s voice sounded uttering those five words, the way that he blinked down at Mickey. Fuck. Five minutes ago, Mickey had been so fucking sure that being Ian’s boyfriend wasn’t what he wanted - that he had made the right call by breaking up with him. Now… no. Fuck, he shouldn’t have done this. Meeting up with Ian in the middle of the night, half drunk and with memories of his lips in his brain? No. Fuck, he shouldn’t have done this. He should not have done this. He should not have done this.

 

“And I don’t hate you” Ian assured Mickey then. “I hate my ex boyfriend - the one who dumped me? But… I don’t hate my friend Mickey - there’s a difference.”

 

“Not much of one” Mickey spoke, Ian letting out a low chuckle.

 

“To me there is”

 

  
***

 

  
The walk home should have been a calm one. Mickey should have been happy and relived - he and Ian were okay. Well, as okay as they would ever be at least, he supposed. As okay as they could be.

 

Maybe they weren’t going to hang out together any time soon or whatever, but Ian had made it clear that he didn’t hate Mickey - which Mickey didn’t really understand, but whatever. It felt good to know - or at least it should feel good. But now, he had a whole new Ian-related problem on his hands. The fact that he was quite sure that he was… what did they call it again? In love?

 

Yeah - he was in love with Ian, but them being cool aside, he had screwed that up. That couldn’t ever happen again. They couldn’t ever happen again. What the actual fuck was wrong with Mickey? Why had he done this tonight? Why had he decided to somehow make his life even more complicated? This hadn’t brought them any closure - well, them maybe. Him personally? No. Fuck.

 

  
***

 

  
Mickey disappeared into the distance, and Ian walked back towards the house, ending up sinking back down onto the top step of the porch rather than walking inside. He wasn't really sure how he felt about everything that had just gone down - his and Mickey’s conversation hadn’t been longer than maybe five, ten minutes, yet it seemed that so much had changed.

 

A small part of him wanted to be angry - not just at Mickey, but at himself. Mickey had dumped his ass, and now here Ian was - letting him come over, talking to him and telling him that he didn’t hate him - while it was true - he didn’t hate Mickey, he was in fact pretty much completely incapable of hating him. Those bright, blue eyes and those thick full lips, no - fuck, he couldn’t hate him.

 

And that casual, careless yet somehow smooth voice, jesus fuck. So in conclusion, Ian just… he didn’t know in or out or up or down anymore - he had. Before tonight. Mickey had been the ex that had dumped him - simple as fucking that. Or at least that was what he had been trying to tell himself over and over again, yet it only took one visit from the guy for Ian to realize that - Mickey was so much more than that.

 

But what exactly was Ian supposed to do about that? Mickey had made it quite clear that he didn’t want their relationship back at all, so where were they now? Were they friends, were they just cool from a distance, what? Everything was… confusing as fuck. Or… at least that’s what Ian had wished. Another possibility was that his feelings for Mickey were more crystal clear now than they had ever been before.

 

  
***

 

  
When Mickey got home, he should have gone to bed. It was well past midnight, the clock ticking closer and closer to one, and since he was actually planning on going back to school tomorrow - god fucking knows he had missed a lot of it - going to bed would have been the right choice. However, the television was still on when he entered the apartment, giving the room that special flickering light.

 

Mickey’s heart was throbbing somewhat forcefully against his ribcage now, and he just knew that it was because of Ian. Because going out to see him tonight had been a mistake - a big, fat and huge mistake. The best thing for them both probably would have been to just avoid each other as they had been, and then eventually in a few months, they would have both been able to let their dead relationship go and at least be cool with each other from some kind of a distance.

 

However - now Mickey understood what people meant when they said that they couldn’t be friends with an ex boyfriend, especially not fresh out of the relationship. Maybe Mickey should just let their scars heal, he should let his own guilt dry up a little bit before they tried anything like being friends again - it was a stupid thing to suggest, and it had been a stupid thing to do - to just go and talk to him like that. But now it was done and things were just confusing as fuck and Mickey didn’t know what to do.

 

So instead of heading into his bedroom and grabbing some sleep, he just fell back down onto the couch, eyes once again glued to the shitty ass cartoons that for some reason were on even deep into the night. He swallowed, wishing that he could walk over to the fridge and grab himself a beer, but he knew that showing up to class tomorrow half drunk and smelling of booze wasn’t a good idea either.

 

So he just sat there, staring at the television screen, leaning the back of his head into his hand, chewing at his tongue and doing his best to forget about his life for a few minutes.

 

A part of him wished that he had some weed to smoke so that the jokes would become funnier, but then he realized that there was a reason why he didn’t have a bottle of beer in his hand at the moment, and weed would probably be just as bad if he wanted to be somewhat present in class tomorrow. Fuck if Mickey knew when he had turned into this person - the person who abandoned weed and beer so that he could be on top of tomorrow’s classes, but somehow it was who he was now. Maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing.

 

The wind was starting to blow outside - not a lot or anything, but enough that Mickey could hear it inside of the shitty ass apartment, blending together with the muffled sounds of the cartoons he was watching. Then, only about ten minutes after he had gotten home, there were three heavy knocks on the front door, drawing his attention to it. The thick, dark eyebrows knitted together above his eyes and he swallowed, deciding to ignore it for now. It was probably just one of Mandy’s boyfriends or whatever the fuck and he could deal with escaping that drama.

 

However, the knocking appeared once more, and then again, and finally Mickey sighed, pushing himself off of the couch. As he walked over the floor towards the door, he reached a hand up to the back of his head, scratching his scalp lightly, starting to feel some need of sleep register with him. As he reached the door, he quickly twisted the lock and he opened it.

 

Fuck.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that this story is still somewhat enjoyable for you guys, we're getting to the main plot point in the next chapter, I'm kind of excited for it. Hope you all have a great day <3


	13. Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I hate you so much” Ian put the statement together. “Do you know that?” Mickey nodded, swallowing. “Good” Ian spoke, his voice surprisingly steady through the word. After that, Mickey had expected him to turn around again. To go back to his house and for Mickey to have to go to bed analyzing every single waver in the words, every single crack. Wondering whether Ian truly did mean it, a hundred and ten percent. That’s what Mickey had expected. But that’s not what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got better things to do than to edit. Psh. Typos be damned. I really need to start again, but for now, please ignore then. (Yes. That was a joke.)

It was so dark outside, and Mickey didn’t have much light inside of the apartment either, so it did take at least a second or so before his eyes realized who he was looking at and informed his brain. Ian. This felt way too much like some kind of shitty ass movie, and Mickey wasn’t sure how comfortable he was with that specific fact. Ian wasn’t crying, though, so at least it wasn’t a total chick flick. He looked normal, his face somewhat unreadable. Which, to be truthful, Mickey found really annoying, because why the fuck was he here? They had both said what they needed to say - or at least tried to.

 

It wasn’t anywhere near close to a good idea to see each other again before they had managed to wrap their minds around what had just gone down a few minutes ago over at the Gallagher house. But Mickey couldn’t find it within himself to yell - in fact, he couldn't really say anything. Neither of them did. Ian just stood there, outside in the darkness, blinking. Mickey blinked back. They probably weren’t quiet for more than a mere few seconds, but it felt longer. As if neither of them could possibly figure out what to do now.

 

“The fuck are you doing here?” Mickey’s tone wasn’t anywhere near as harsh as the words. He sounded weak, for some reason. Maybe insecure, or confused. Which he was - he didn’t know what Ian was doing here and he didn’t know what was going to happen next.

 

“I hate you” That was when Mickey saw it - the slight redness in Ian’s eyes. He didn’t know if he had been crying or if he was on the edge of doing so, either way, Mickey for some reason felt something inside of himself breaking. He loved Ian. He did. They were young and they hadn’t known each other for long at all - but he did. So when Ian was hurt - yeah, Mickey hurt too. No matter how fake or fictional that may sound. And despite the statement Ian had made a few minutes ago, Mickey knew that to some degree, this was true too - Ian hated him. And that was okay. He deserved it.

 

“I know” Mickey nodded.

 

“So much” Ian added then; his threatening tears were drying up rather than spilling over, but his voice was becoming rough. Even more sad than before. Mickey felt that slight scratching at his heart again. God fucking damn it. Why were they putting each other through this? “I hate you so much” Ian put the statement together. “Do you know that?” Mickey nodded, swallowing. “Good” Ian spoke, his voice surprisingly steady through the word. After that, Mickey had expected him to turn around again. To go back to his house and for Mickey to have to go to bed analyzing every single waver in the words, every single crack. Wondering whether Ian truly did mean it, a hundred and ten percent. That’s what Mickey had expected. But that’s not what happened.

 

Instead, once Ian was certain that Mickey believed the words that he couldn’t for the life of him mean in a million years, he took the step forward, passing the threshold, bringing his large hand up to the back of his ex boyfriend’s neck, capturing his lips in between his own before Mickey could even begin to react. Mickey frowned at the unexpected act, his mind blank and eyebrows just about completely knitted together.

 

Two seconds ago - and not even that - Ian had told him that he hated him. ‘So much’ even. And now he was kissing him, his thumb rubbing smooth circles on his jawline, the act a silent plea for Mickey to return it. For him to love him back. For him to glue him back together. Mickey shouldn’t be kissing Ian, he knew this - not just because they were ‘supposed to be broken up’ but because he didn’t deserve it. Not at all, not after everything he had put him through in the past weeks.

 

But it was just about the middle of the night, now. Ian was in his apartment, everything was quiet. It was almost as if they were the only two people on earth, and Ian was kissing him. So after almost five whole seconds of Ian just holding their lips together, silently begging Mickey to kiss him back - Mickey couldn’t stop himself. A hum sounded somewhere in between them, and had Mickey’s lips been free, it probably wouldn’t have sounded something like ‘fuck’. He lifted his right arm up to wrap around Ian’s neck, tugging him closer down to him, parting his own lips so that the kiss could deepen and grow into a mutual one.

 

Both pairs of eyes had fallen closed, the teenagers currently ignoring everything and anything other than their want for each other. This felt way too fucking good. Kissing Ian again - Ian kissing him again. Holding onto him, being this close. That special kind of warmth on his lips, and that unique taste in his mouth - fucking hell, he had missed this boy.

 

Finally, they parted. Ian’s hands stayed on Mickey’s neck, Mickey’s fingers running over the short, red strands at the back of his head while their foreheads laid pressed against each other, breathing fanning each other’s lips. They were out of it - their hearts beating as if they had been fucking for at least half an hour, but it wasn’t because the kiss had been deep, or passionate by the definition. But because they were happy. Confused and fucked up aside, of course. Their eyes were open now, but they weren’t making any eye contact with each other. Instead Ian softly blinked down at Mickey’s lips, glistening with his own saliva. Mickey couldn’t help but do the same.

 

“I forgive you” The words were whispered, softly, fanning Mickey’s lips in a way that somehow made all of the slashes on his heart heal. When Mickey had broken up with Ian, he had meant it - he hadn’t wanted a boyfriend. But in the past few days, since that fucking class, he had been fooling himself. That’s when he had realized that he did - he did want Ian so fucking badly, how could he not? He didn’t have a choice. How Ian had known that fact before he did so himself, he wasn’t sure. But fuck, he was happy he did. “I forgive you” Ian repeated, just as softly. The thumb of his right hand was still rubbing small, smooth circles on Mickey’s jawline while Mickey continued melting. “Baby, I forgive you”

 

“I love you” Was Mickey’s choked up response before he closed his eyes, leaning in for another deep, meaning kiss that spoke to the fact that they were done talking. Someone hummed, but they were pressed to close together, their lips smashed together so tightly that they couldn’t possibly know which of them it was. Mickey nipped and licked at Ian’s lips, everything coming back to him - all of it - the late night conversations, the cuddling, that feeling in his stomach that only Ian would ever be able to bring him.

 

He didn’t know what the fuck had made Ian go so insane that he would ever consider forgiving him, but here they were, and no place had ever felt as good as this one. Ian’s left hand left his face for a moment so that he could reach behind himself, pushing the front door closed before going back to holding his boyfriend’s face completely, eating at his lips.

 

Mickey kept his arm wrapped around his neck, completely giving himself, unable to hold anything back. He didn’t want to hold anything back with Ian - not anymore. Their lips moved steadily against each other’s, and it felt as if something was just snapping into place inside of Mickey, in a way he couldn’t possibly explain no matter how many chances were offered to him. This was stupid - Ian should be pissed as fuck, he shouldn’t forgive him and certainly not this easily, but that seemed to be what was currently happening, and Mickey was alright with it.

 

Fuck, he was alright with it.

 

Their saliva mixed together, lips continuing to nip at one another’s, their eyes staying closed, minds blank except for this. Them. Ian’s thumbs rested on Mickey’s jawline, he had stopped moving them once the kiss grew deeper, more pressure behind it. Ian’s tongue ran across the inside of Mickey’s upper teeth, both of them wanting even more, Mickey pressing at the back of Ian’s neck in an attempt to somehow bring him even closer. Fuck, he had missed this.

 

Without either of them really making a conscious decision to, soon enough they were stumbling over towards Mickey’s bedroom, their lips never leaving one another’s. Mickey did his best to just focus on Ian’s lips, Ian’s touch rather than the strings that were still tugging on his heart, the hurt inside of his body that was only there because he knew what he had done to Ian.

 

Maybe it hadn’t been a dramatic breakup, but they were seventeen - everything was dramatic, and maybe that was alright - and Mickey had hurt Ian. Dramatic or not - that’s what had happened, and he hated himself for it. Ian had done nothing wrong, so how could Mickey deserve this now? Why the fuck should Ian forgive him? He didn’t have an answer what so ever, but what he did know was what Ian was here now. They had their lips on each other’s, hands in hair and no one was going anywhere tonight. Tonight was perfect.

 

The wind outside, shaking the building ever so slightly just made it all the more so.

 

Mickey wasn’t all too sure whether breathing was actually a thing at this point, all he could do was continue to bite and lick at Ian’s lips, pressing himself even closer, head spinning like a race car yet somehow staying completely blank all at the same time. Ian’s left hand stayed cupped around Mickey’s face while they continued to stumble over to the bedroom, his right arm wrapping around the other boys’ waist, tugging him even closer, eating at his lips, their eyes closed completely. Their saliva mixed together, neither of them wanting to take a break of even a second to catch their breaths - or speak.

 

Mickey’s fingers moved frantically over the back of his boyfriend’s head, trying to get a hold of some of the short hairs despite it being impossible; he just wanted a way to get even closer, a way to take even more of him. How the fuck he had managed to trick himself into thinking he didn’t want this, he had no fucking idea. Because he did - fuck, he wanted Ian. So badly.

 

“Me too, babe. Fuck” Mickey hadn’t been aware that he had said the words out loud until Ian responded, but in the moment he didn’t think too much about it either, all he could do was continue to move his lips against Ian’s, craving even more, wanting so much more than he could possibly get while he moved his hands down to the hem of his shirt, tugging impatiently at it, wanting to get at what was underneath.

 

Somewhat of a groan sounded in the base of Ian’s throat, and their lips parted for a mere second while he tugged it off of his body, throwing it to the floor before wrapping his arm back around Mickey’s waist, tugging them back together, their lips slipped in between one another’s again, Ian’s tongue immediately going back to dominating Mickey’s mouth, their heads spinning.

 

There was some kind of special taste that Ian had always left for Mickey when they kissed; he couldn’t for the absolute life of him describe it well, but it was kind of sweet, yet somehow sour - it was Ian.

 

Completely and utterly Ian, nobody else and Mickey couldn’t get anywhere close to enough of it. He had to try, though. His hands were placed back on the back of his neck, tugging his boyfriend down to give himself a chance to deepen the kiss even more, Ian’s teeth gracing Mickey’s tongue, their saliva mixing together in a way that wasn’t anywhere near neat. It didn’t take more than another beat before Ian pushed Mickey away from himself, and Mickey immediately took the hint, throwing his own shirt off before going back in, holding nothing back as their lips and teeth crashed together, Mickey feeling some redness start to appear on his chin from Ian’s teeth, which only drove him even further.

 

Ian’s large, warm hand was placed in the middle of Mickey’s back at first, holding him close to his chest, soon he started to slide it down until he could grab his ass through his pants, holding himself back from cursing about how much he had missed it.

 

Maybe forgiving Mickey was a really stupid fucking idea, and maybe Ian would end up regretting it later on, what the fuck did he know? Anything could happen, really. But he also knew that right now, in this moment, he had no other choice. He missed Mickey way too much to stay broken up, and he somehow knew that Mickey didn’t miss him any less.

 

In a million years, Ian doubted that he would be able to ever truly understand why Mickey had made the decision to dump him in the first place. Sure, Mandy had talked to him, Mickey had talked to him, he had had numerous conversations about it with Scooter and Sabrina, though he had never gone very deep. But he didn’t really understand - and who knows? Maybe that was alright, maybe it was even for the best. Maybe he didn’t have to understand. Maybe that wasn’t a huge necessity. Maybe all that mattered was this, now, the present. Maybe they didn’t have to make their past their present.

 

“Babe” Mickey hadn’t meant for his groan to from the word, but there it was and he could immediately feel Ian’s grip on his ass tighten, pressing him closer - so close, in fact, that their quickly swelling erections touched through the fabric of their pants, their lips continuing to eat at each other’s, their heads spinning, stomachs fluttering. Mickey couldn’t breathe all that well, his nose completely smashed into his boyfriend’s cheek, but at the moment, he didn’t give a shit.

 

Of course the moment was hot, they were horny. But that wasn’t all it was. That wasn’t all they were. The wind continued blowing outside, moving the apartment building in a way that almost made it shake.

 

Maybe Ian and Mickey were throwing themselves into sex just to make sure that they didn’t cry, that they didn’t become way too emotional, because neither of them wanted to waste time on that. But their hearts were still hurting, strings being tugged at. Maybe because they were so happy, or maybe because they were that in love with each other.

 

This was all they had wanted all along, that was clear now. Their hands were all over each other, groaping and tugging and pressing, their lips biting, saliva mixing. They didn’t know up or down or in or out, or what exactly was going to happen in the morning, and right now they didn’t have to. All that currently mattered was the fact that they were them again, they were in love with each other, and they were here. Now.

 

Their pants were messily thrown off of their bodies as well while they clumsily did their best to keep their lips together all throughout it. Then it was Ian that pushed Mickey backwards onto the bed, his head hitting the soft pillow while the slightly younger teenager climbed on top of him, darting down to press their lips together once again. It probably didn’t look very sexy, they were practically eating each other’s mouths, no thought of how much tongue they should use or how they should keep their teeth out of the way - they weren’t holding anything back. In fact, holding anything back was pretty much a complete impossibility. Tonight was too perfect. They were too in love.

 

Ian’s bare knees were placed on either side of Mickey’s lower torso, straddling his body, his large, freckled hands on his collarbones while he continued nipping at his lips, dominating his mouth with his tongue. Mickey hummed, moving his hands down from his back to his ass, kneading the flesh through the thin fabric of his black boxers, urging him to relax. A slight, appreciative moan came from Ian’s lips as he did so, rolling his hips to get their erections to press together, a slight jolt of pleasure shooting throughout their bodies; now it was Ian’s turn to swallow Mickey’s moans.

 

Ian stayed half laying on top of Mickey while they made out, Mickey’s hands continuing to knead the flesh of his ass, tugging at his bottom lip, his stomach stirring in the best possible way. He couldn’t possibly believe that this wasn’t a dream - that Ian had actually decided to forgive him. That he was that lucky. Maybe that’s why the next few, quiet words were breathed into Ian’s mouth.

 

“Say it. Please” The kiss stopped for a moment, their lips still touching as Mickey let his hands relax, only resting on Ian’s ass while Ian was silent for a second or two, just trying to figure out what he meant. Thankfully, he did so without Mickey having to explain it. Ian relaxed even further against Mickey, the pads of his thumbs rubbing smooth and sure circles at his jawline, their lips hovering over each other as he said it.

 

“I forgive you. Mick. Baby, I forgive you” A breath of relief escaped Mickey’s lips as he lifted his head off of the pillow for a moment, capturing Ian’s lips in between his own once again, his very being relaxing completely, the back of his head hitting the pillow again, Ian deepening the kiss, his tongue dominating Mickey’s mouth, their tongues sliding over one another’s.

 

Mickey’s hands weren’t on his ass anymore; instead he moved them up to wrap his arms around Ian’s waist, holding him down against him as he continued tasting his lips, unable to stop despite the fact that they both could clearly feel their mouths start to tingle and swell up a little bit. At the moment, it was the best feeling in the world. The wind was blowing harder and harder outside by the second, the room just about completely black, and Ian was with Mickey. How the fuck could this not be perfect?

 

Ian’s hands stayed on Mickey’s neck for another moment, the kiss continuing in its messy and desperate nature as he started sliding them down the pale, perfect flesh of his upper body, drinking in every single curve and dip until he reached the waistband of his boxers, tugging at it impatiently.

 

Mickey groaned into his mouth, continuing to nip at his lips while he lifted his hips off of the bed just a little bit, giving his boyfriend the opportunity to rid him of his underwear, throwing them onto the floor to join their other clothes.

 

The kiss continued while Ian wrapped a strong hand around Mickey’s cock, starting to stroke him. The thick, dark eyebrows immediately knitted together in pleasure, and he did his best to focus on the kiss though it was becoming somewhat difficult with his stomach turning in the way that it was, his entire body kicking into the best possible kind of high gear.

 

Ian, thankfully, seemed to catch on and took over the kiss completely, dominating Mickey’s mouth while he continued jerking him off, giving Mickey nothing to do but to just lay there, enjoying it, responding to the kiss as much as he could. How the fuck had he ever believed that being without this was what he wanted? That it was for the best? Fuck no. Maybe it was the smartest thing, the thing that would get his grades up, but it wasn’t what he wanted, not at all. Fucking hell.

 

Maybe they didn’t know each other to the absolute core - they had only met barely two months ago, after all - but they did know each other like this. In bed, what they wanted, what they craved - it was impossible not to after everything. That meant that neither of them had to say anything. They didn’t have to let the other one know.

 

The kiss just continued for another moment before Ian broke it with one last, wet peck of his boyfriend’s lips, his hand carefully letting go of his cock as he lifted himself off of his body a little bit, reaching over towards the nightstand where Mickey always kept his lube and condoms. Ian had to fumble a little bit since the room was still really dark, but finally he had a small tube and a foil packet in his hand, throwing the condom to the unoccupied side of the bed for a moment.

 

Before Ian could get any of the lube onto his fingers, Mickey lifted his hand up to the back of his neck, tugging him down for one more, deep kiss just because he could. Ian hummed into it, their lips staying slotted together for a moment before it broke again, a deep, comfortable breath escaping Ian’s lips.

 

Mickey was silent and still for a moment, letting Ian get the lube open, then he felt his boyfriend start to lay down on top of him once again, and he spread his legs, welcoming him in between them. Ian’s left hand was placed against his neck once again, his thumb resting on his chin as Mickey felt one of his fingers start to rub against his rim, his eyebrows knitting together at the unfamiliar feeling.

 

Well - unfamiliar as of lately, that was. He hadn’t exactly been horny in the past few weeks, much less had the energy to do anything about it. He felt Ian start to work the finger inside right as they somehow made the decision at the exact same moment to capture each other’s lips again, the heated makeout session continuing as Ian worked his boyfriend open enough to take his cock.

 

Mickey lifted his hand up to the back of Ian’s neck, deepening the kiss just a little bit more, doing his best to keep some of his moans in as Ian moved one finger in and out of him carefully, getting him used to the feeling once again.

 

“Fuck” Mickey’s word was muffled, and Ian swallowed it, deepening the kiss even a little bit further as he added a second finger, making sure to go slow and scissor them carefully to work his boyfriend open faster.

 

Ian breathed something into Mickey’s mouth, and Mickey couldn’t quite hear what it was, but it sounded something like ‘relax, baby’ so he did his best to, making sure to focus on Ian’s lips while he worked him open.

 

Despite them having had a ton of sex during the weeks that they had been together, Mickey still wasn’t anywhere close to experienced, and now it had been a while, so he had to somehow learn everything again. Remember how to relax to make sure that he felt more pleasure than uncomfortableness. Ian continued nipping and licking at his lips, his tongue inside of his mouth as he moved his fingers from side to side, working Mickey open.

 

“Do it, man. Ready” Ian was slightly surprised at how quickly the words came out of Mickey’s mouth; he knew that the smart thing to do was probably to do a little bit more prep seeing at Mickey hadn’t fucked a lot in the past, but in the end they were both way too worked up and foreplay was not what they were craving at all.

 

Ian hummed, placing one last, deep kiss to Mickey’s lips before they parted, his fingers carefully sliding out of Mickey’s ass, the slightly older boy relaxing back agains the bed as he waited. He heard the rip of the condom foil and the lid of the lube, but he couldn’t see much in the darkness, nor did he care too. He just wanted Ian. He wanted him on top of him, and he wanted him inside of him, and he didn’t need to see anything. He just needed to feel. He wanted to feel. Fuck, he wanted everything. How the fuck could this be normal at all? Feeling this way. Craving someone this bad. Ever since the very first moment he had ever laid eyes on Ian, he had craved him. Fuck.

 

Soon, Ian sighed, and Mickey felt him laying down on top of him again. Mickey wasted no time spreading his legs, wrapping his arms around his upper body to keep him close. Ian’s hot breath fanned his lips as he moved around a little bit, getting into the right position. The wind continued blowing outside; it wasn’t bad, and it wasn’t a terrible storm or anything. There was no chattering of rain on the window, it was just wind, shaking the building a little bit, making Mickey feel even more closed off from the rest of the world. Like he and Ian were the only two people on earth. The way that it should be. The way that he wanted it to be right now.

 

Ian reached down, easily placing the tip of his cock against Mickey’s hole before he let go, laying his forearms on either side of his boyfriend’s head, holding himself up, their faces hovering above one another’s. It was dark in the room, but Mickey could see Ian’s eyes. The way they glimmered as they both made eye contact, a silent promise being made in between them. As Ian pressed in, they didn’t kiss.

 

They didn’t break the eye contact. They didn’t say anything. They just connected with each other, just like that. Mickey swallowed, his teeth grabbing a hold of his bottom lip, eyebrows furrowing a little bit as Ian’s cock filled him up inch by inch, stretching him open with that perfect amount of stinging that hurt just enough for it to match up with the pleasure. He bottomed out rather quickly, staying still for a second, letting them both adjust, Ian swallowing.

 

Then they finally just closed their eyes and went in to continue the kiss, that special, eye contact not lasting. They needed to touch, they needed to feel. Mickey’s hand was cupped around the back of Ian’s neck, their lips nipping at each other’s, tongues dominating each other’s mouths while Ian carefully pulled out and then rolled back in, dragging a low, beautiful groan out of Mickey’s throat. By the sounds of the wind, it was cold outside now. But in Mickey’s world it was warm, it was perfect. Ian’s tongue sliding over his own, lips eating at his, his hips rolling at a perfect, slow pace. Slow was never really their thing. Tonight it was.

 

“I forgive you” Ian sighed into Mickey’s mouth, and Mickey whined at the sound, if only because of how perfect it was. He didn’t care that it was pathetic that he wanted to hear it so much, he needed to hear it - he needed to know. “I forgive you. Baby. Baby, I forgive you” Mickey knitted his eyebrows in pleasure, wrapping his legs around Ian’s hips to urge him to go even deeper, the kiss doing the same.

 

They didn’t need to go harder tonight, they didn’t want to do anything more than this. They just laid there on Mickey’s bed, holding each other, kissing and whispering sweet things while Ian moved in and out of Mickey, reminding them both why they had fallen in love with each other in the first place. They would probably never be the kind of couple to show public displays of affection, or the kind of couple to say that they loved each other ten times a day, but in moment like this one - special moments, meaningful moments - maybe they were a little bit soft.

 

A little bit corny, and a little bit fluffy. Maybe that was alright, too. Who the fuck knew? Mickey’s heart was still hurting a little bit, strings tugging at it whenever he thought of the fact that he had hurt Ian. But then there he was; Ian kissed him and Ian fucked him and Ian whispered that he forgave him over and over again, and somehow everything was okay. Everything was going to be just fine.

 

By the time they were finished, they were breathing quite heavily, Ian rolling off of his boyfriend to get rid of the condom. Mickey took the loss of the weight on top of him as an opportunity to take two deep breaths, trying to get his heart to slow down a little bit. His entire body was tingling, lips swollen, his cock soft again. He turned his head, right in time for Ian to bend his arm, resting his temple into his open palm, looking down at his boyfriend. It was still incredibly dark in the room, but they could see enough to look each other in the eye, the sound of the wind outside making this moment so much more perfect.

 

“I love you” Ian’s tired words registered inside of Mickey’s sleepy brain, and all he could do was grin, too happy and too fucked out to really do anything else. He lifted his right arm to reach for Ian’s free hand, lacing their fingers together.

 

“I love you” With that, Mickey had expected for Ian to lay down completely so that he could curl up to his chest. For the night to be over so that they could at least get one or two hours of sleep. But Ian stayed still, looking down at Mickey with a soft expression on his face. “What?” Mickey’s eyebrows furrowed once again.

 

“Marry me”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know how sudden this might seem in the story, but please keep in mind that this will be a whole thing and I'm gonna make it as realistic as possible. It's not just gonna be like an epilogue type thing where they get married fast and everything is amazing and they ride off into the sunset - no. We still have a lot left of the story lmao. Hope that this chapter was good enough, and I'm wishing everyone a good day <3


	14. Maybe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don’t you want to be with me for a long time?” 
> 
> “Fucking ‘course I do, man” There wasn’t even a beat before Mickey answered, he didn’t have to think about it. He did want to be with Ian for a long time - who the hell fucking knows, maybe he would even want a ring and a house and a baby at some point. But that was supposed to be a long, long, long time from now. Like ten, fifteen years long. But Ian was proposing now. Quite literally. What the actual fuck?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I at least speed read through this one. That's not to say I didn't miss any typos, I probably did, but I'm getting better, yay!

The words came out of Ian’s mouth, soft and easy as he looked down at his boyfriend. As the sound registered with Mickey’s brain, his eyebrows furrowed, and he felt as if he lost his breath for a moment. With lips parted, brain hazey, he tried desperately to figure out whether or not he had heard that right just now - had Ian really fucking suggested that they get hitched?

 

That might be the stupidest thing that Mickey had ever heard come out of his mouth, and Ian said a lot of stupid shit. Mickey’s body and mind were both still somewhat tired after the orgasm, and on top of that he was just tired because of the fact that he straight up had been awake for so many hours in a row, so he just felt as if he actually needed to make sure - just to be completely certain.

 

“Did you just fucking say we should get hitched, Gallagher?” Mickey’s voice was tired and raspy, the teenagers continuing to look into each other’s eyes. Ian didn’t say anything for a moment, so Mickey could only assume, that yes - that was exactly what he had suggested just now. What the actual fuck? Marriage? Now? They just got back together not even two hours ago. Mickey wasn’t even sure that he ever wanted to get married in his entire life. Not that it wouldn’t be kind of cool to have a ring on his finger, and to be able to call Ian his husband, but - alright, fuck, he was getting way too ahead of himself.

 

“I know it sounds crazy, Mickey. I’m not an idiot.” Ian spoke, unfolding his arm and rolling over onto his stomach, laying almost half on top of Mickey as he brought his left hand up to the side of his face, holding it gently, running his fingers through a few of the black strands of hair. “It sounds cheesy, and I know you don’t like that stuff, but the second I saw you…” Ian whispered into the darkness before trailing off for a second; Mickey couldn’t do much other than just look up at him, listening to the words that were coming out of his mouth, feeling his bare skin against his own - yeah.

 

Fuck this was cheesy. Almost so cheesy he was cringing. Yet something caused him to stay still and silent, letting his boyfriend explain his thought-trail.

 

“I want to be with you, Mickey. Not just for a year, or until college - but it’s you” Mickey swallowed at that, not quite sure how to reply - these past few hours had absolutely turned his life upside down, and now Ian was saying that they should get married - on top of everything? Quite honestly, he wasn’t sure how he had the balls, Mickey had broken up with him because it was scary for him to be in such a serious relationship. How did Ian know that Mickey wouldn’t up and dump his ass again? He wouldn’t - of course - but Ian wasn’t inside of Mickey’s brain. Well, not literally, at least. “Don’t you want to be with me for a long time?”

 

“Fucking ‘course I do, man” There wasn’t even a beat before Mickey answered, he didn’t have to think about it. He did want to be with Ian for a long time - who the hell fucking knows, maybe he would even want a ring and a house and a baby at some point. But that was supposed to be a long, long, long time from now. Like ten, fifteen years long. But Ian was proposing now. Quite literally. What the actual fuck?

 

“Why not let everything start today?” Ian’s face hovered close to Mickey’s, his voice not all that much more than a whisper. Mickey wasn’t sure what to say - he wasn’t sure what his answer should be. He vaguely remembered hearing that unexpected things could be good things - but he was pretty sure that whoever had said that had been talking about things that you didn’t have any control over. Besides - the more he thought about it, the more sure he was becoming of the fact that it had been Iggy who had said it to him - and that his brother had been stoned out of his fucking mind at the time.

 

Ian continued looking down at Mickey, blinking patiently as he waited for his boyfriend to say something back. Oddly enough - Ian didn’t seem very nervous; he seemed as if he was just calm and rational. As if he really fucking wanted this, and as if it was nothing, because… because he knew he wanted Mickey and there was no doubt in his voice about anything. And Mickey didn’t know what the fuck to say - he didn’t know what would be the truth. He didn’t know how to turn Ian down, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to. It wasn’t as if he didn’t have feelings that were that strong, and it wasn’t as if he would ever regret marrying Ian - not the way he saw it at this stage in his life, at least. But…

 

“Ian, people don’t go and get fucking married in high school” Mickey pointed out with his mouth pulled up into some kind of smile - a smile that said that Ian was being ridiculous, but he was also struggling to keep from grinning in happiness. It was just… so fucking stupid. And were Mickey to consider nothing except for his feelings then… it would be a really fucking good idea.

 

But he couldn’t - there were a million and one more things to consider.

 

“It’s just… it’s not fucking normal” Mickey continued, their eyes connected through the darkness as he felt Ian’s fingers continue their movements throughout the black strands of hair by his temple. Something strange was happening with Mickey’s heart, it was as if it was beating faster, and yet somehow calmer at the same time. The thought of promising Ian forever… fuck.

 

“I’m not normal” Ian spoke easily. Mickey swallowed at that, hearing the wind outside of the apartment grow even a little bit stronger, making him feel even safer here, in bed with Ian. Warmth in between them, love. Mickey’s stomach fluttered in that way that it always did around Ian - like it had the first time he had ever laid eyes on him - although now it was a million and one times stronger, better. “What I feel for you is not fucking normal, Mickey” Ian continued softly, as if he had just been reading his boyfriend’s thoughts or some shit.

 

Maybe being seventeen years old, laying next to his boyfriend and talking about marriage and shit should have freaked Mickey out - maybe he should have dumped Ian right there, and maybe he should have just tried to push his feelings for him out. Who the hell knows - a few months ago, maybe he would have. No, he surely would have. But it was obvious that they didn’t want to be without each other - why would that change in a few weeks, or a few months, or a few years?

 

It wouldn’t. Mickey knew that in ten or fifteen years, they wouldn’t be the same people that they were today, that was just how life worked. But like hell he would be calling Ian his ex, he couldn’t see that happening. Maybe that was just the puppy love naivety speaking, but Mickey was beginning to think that whatever he and Ian had with each other was starting to exit the puppy love stage a little bit.

 

So if Ian and Mickey knew that they wanted to be with each other - if they were sure - as sure as they could be, that was - that that wouldn’t change. Then… yeah. Why not let everything start today? Then again, there were so many other things to consider.

 

“You don’t have to answer right now, babe. It’s late” Ian assured Mickey softly, the slightly older teenager feeling his breath on his lips just a little bit. Mickey hummed, and Ian rolled over onto his back, pulling his boyfriend with him.

 

Mickey curled up onto his chest, their arms wrapped around each other. For the moment, Mickey let himself forget all about marriage and serious decisions and shit - all be wanted to care about in the few seconds before his body would inevitably shut down for the night, was this. Him and Ian. Mickey felt as if he was exhausted from all the fighting he had done, exhausted from lying to himself about a breakup being what he wanted. It wasn’t - this was what he wanted. Ian’s arms holding his body, his large hand resting on his waist as they closed their eyes for the night, his chin resting on top of his head, Mickey’s nose pressed into his neck.

 

That’s all he wanted.

 

  
***

 

  
“Hey, loser - are you gonna get your ass up or am I gonna have to - “ Mandy came to an abrupt stop in the doorway of her brother’s bedroom, wondering if she could trust her eyes at all. For the past few weeks, Ian and Mickey had been circling around each other, and she hadn’t known for shit whether they loved or hated each other. If they would end up getting back together, or if they were simply and only enemies now - she had the answer right in front of her. The two of them naked in bed - covered, thank fucking god - Mickey’s head on Ian’s chest.

 

“Would you get the fuck out?” Mickey mumbled angrily, his voice muffled as he buried his face even deeper into Ian’s neck, probably wanting to escape both his sister and the bright morning sun that was shining right in through the window, covering the entire room. Ian looked to tighten his arms around his body, placing one of his hands in Mickey’s hair, keeping him close.

 

Ian’s eyes were still closed as he turned his head, burying his face in the hair on top of Mickey’s hair as well, probably way too tired to even acknowledge Mandy. She couldn’t blame him - by the time she had gone to bed, he hadn’t been here and from what she knew they had still been broken up, so for them both to make up and fuck, they couldn’t have been asleep until this morning or something.

 

“Fine, you don’t have to be so grumpy. Guess you’re skipping school?” Mandy asked, taking a couple of steps out of the room, preparing to head out the door.

 

“We’re not going anywhere” Ian confirmed, voice rough and slightly muffled by her brother’s hair, his eyes staying closed. Mandy rolled her eyes and finally backed out of the bedroom completely, pulling the door with her, hearing it click closed as she turned around, heading towards the kitchen island where her bag stood, rummaging through it just to make sure that she had everything with her that she would need for the day.

 

She found her books, a couple of pens and the lunch that she had made last night. The only thing she couldn’t find was her phone, which she usually put into the bag just because it was easier.

 

The dark, arched eyebrows knitted together a little bit and she started searching her body, looking through the pockets. It didn’t take very many seconds before she found the device in the back pocket of her dark grey skinny jeans, calming down at the realization, starting to pack everything back down into her bag.

 

A red, somewhat loose fitted tank top covered her upper body, her jeans tapering off down into a cheap, knock off pair of Dr Martens. She knew that she would be regretting the leather jacket later on in the day, but for right now she had to walk to school, and it was still kind of chilly from the wind that had been blowing late last night.

 

Once Mandy had all of her things packed down into her bag, she zipped it up and placed it onto the floor, reaching behind herself to collect all of the black strands of hair into a ponytail, making sure to leave her bangs completely out of it as she took the thick, black hairtie off of her wrist and wrapped it around it all, keeping it there. Then she was out the door.

 

  
***

 

  
By the time Mickey started to wake up a little bit again, it had probably been at least a couple of hours since Mandy had barged into the room. The mattress was soft and somehow cool against his back, his head heavy against the pillow - he was tired, but it felt really fucking good. Something was happening in his stomach, and something was gone in his throat - that weight was gone, he was happy. Shit. And the more he was starting to wake up, the more he started to realize the reason for it.

 

Two large hands were curled around his hips, keeping him still as a wet, heavenly warmth worked his cock. Maybe Mickey should be the one waking Ian up with a blowjob seeing as he actually had something to make up for, but he would take it. Fuck, it felt good. He didn’t let Ian know that he had woken up just yet, instead he kept his eyes closed, staying still - or attempting to do so, at the very least; Ian was way too good at sucking cock.

 

Mickey dug his teeth into his bottom lip, dark, thick eyebrows furrowing in pleasure as Ian continued moving his mouth up and down his cock at a somewhat fast pace. The soft tips of his fingers dug into Mickey’s flesh, adding to the sensation.

 

Ian did that one, specific movement with his tongue and it was no longer possibly for Mickey to even attempt staying still. Or quiet, for that matter.

 

“Ian” Mickey put his hand under the covers, pressing at the back of Ian’s head, urging him on. He fucking loved the way that the buzzcut looked on his boyfriend, but this wasn’t the first time that he wished that he had something to tug on when he sucked his cock. It would make it so much better. “Shit” Mickey’s eyes were still clenched closed as Ian sped up, even more enthusiastic now that his boyfriend was actually awake and aware of what was happening.

 

Mickey’s hips started twitching upwards, making Ian tighten his hold on them, keeping the slightly older teenager pinned to the mattress while he continued to bob his head up and down his cock, the slightly salty taste of precome coating his tongue.

 

“Babe” Mickey wasn’t sure how the petname slipped past his lips, but it seemed to turn Ian on even more, so he didn’t regret it.

 

Ian hummed at the sound, the vibrations rolling straight into Mickey’s cock, and then it was over. Mickey came with a strangled groan, short nails just about digging into the skin on the back of Ian’s neck, his eyes clenched closed as he shot his load right down into his throat, chest heaving up and down. Once Mickey was done, he relaxed back into the mattress, Ian wasting no time cleaning his boyfriend off with his mouth and then climbing back up, pushing the covers off of himself a little bit so that he could press it against Mickey’s.

 

Mickey made a small noise into the kiss, accepting it immediately, still feeling that fluttering in the base of his stomach. They made out for a moment or two, Ian laying on top of Mickey, their chests pressed closely together, noses pressed into each other’s cheeks; Mickey’s arms were wrapped around Ian’s body, holding him close while Ian held his face, deepening the kiss for another second before it broke, their faces staying close, eyes fluttering open.

 

“Grow your hair out for me, alright?” Ian nodded.

 

“Okay. Figured you might want that” Mickey snorted, their lips coming together for one more kiss before Ian rolled off of his boyfriend, much to said boyfriend’s disappointment.

 

“Gallagher, the fuck are you going?” Maybe Mickey sounded like a little child, but in the moment he didn’t give much of a fuck, watching Ian pick his boxers back up off the floor, putting them on. Had it all been up to Mickey, they wouldn’t have left this bed at all for the next twenty four hours. It felt as if he had been without Ian for so long, so the last thing he wanted to do right now was to stop touching him unless he had to, or do stuff - well, other than having Ian fuck his brains out, that was of course.

 

“I’m hungry” Came Ian’s response. Mickey had closed his eyes for a second, and when he opened then again, Ian was standing by the side of the bed, arms hanging limply by his side as he quite obviously waited for Mickey to move and go with him to the kitchen.

 

“Fuck that shit, man. Just grab something and come back” Mickey mumbled, starting to roll back over. before he could, though, he caught that glimpse in Ian’s eye - the one that he would never be able to turn down. In fact, he had a feeling that it would always be a rarity for him to say no to Ian, those fucking puppy eyes and that smile. For a second they were silent, just looking at each other - then, of course, Mickey folded.

 

Partly because he wanted to please Ian, but also because his own stomach was starting to beg for food. A somewhat loud sigh slipped out through his nose and he places his hands flat onto the mattress, pushing himself up and forwards until he was sitting at the edge of the bed, bare legs hanging off the edge. Mickey’s head was pounding a little bit - most likely from the lack of sleep he had gotten, but like fuck he would rather be sleeping than be with Ian.

 

Ian placed both of his large hands around Mickey’s face, making him look up just in time for Ian to bend down a little bit, pressing their lips together. Mickey swallowed, kissing him back. His left hand rested limply in his lap as he brought his right one up to wrap around Ian’s wrist, keeping his hand on his face while their lips stayed together.

 

They weren’t really moving, and while the tips of their tongues rested together, they weren’t moving them, really. They just wanted to hold their mouths together for a second, enjoying the feeling of finally being together again - surely they would go through shit in the future, but at this point Mickey was pretty secure in the fact that they would at least fight to stay together.

 

And after a few months, maybe that was a good place to be at. Ian broke the kiss with a small, wet sound before dropping one more, his lips ending up more on the space right under Mickey’s nose, his top tip slipping in between Ian’s a little bit. Ian was on his way to pulling away completely and straightening up, but Mickey felt it and immediately moved his hand to the middle of his back, attempting to lay down and pull him with him, their lips pressing back together.

 

“No” Ian shook his head, successfully letting go completely and standing up straight. “Later” With that he turned around and walked out of the bedroom, heading towards the kitchen. Mickey sighed, shaking his head a little bit while he looked around on the floor to find his own boxers. His thick eyebrows were knitted together for a moment as he stood up, moving some of the clothing pieces around, finding them underneath Ian’s t shirt, quickly pulling the underwear up his legs and then bringing his right hand up to his head, scratching the back of his neck, walking out into the rest of the apartment, finding Ian with his back towards him, reaching up to get the cereal off of one of the highest shelves - one of the ones neither Mickey nor Mandy could possibly reach without having to stand on a chair.

 

They didn't even try. It didn’t look as if it took all too much effort for Ian, though, and soon he had the box in his hand, pushing the cupboard door closed and turning around. As he laid eyes on Mickey, he almost seemed to freeze - not in a creepy way or anything, but he just didn’t move his feet for a couple of seconds, eyes traveling over Mickey’s chest.

 

“The fuck’s the matter with you, man?” Was Mickey’s only reaction as he walked over to the kitchen from the bedroom door. Ian was silent for another second or two before shaking his head free of whatever thoughts had been in there.

 

Mickey wasn’t sure, but he had some kind of feeling that it might have had something to do with what Ian had asked last night, and he couldn't possibly consider that before he had had his coffee. Fuck, he had almost forgotten about it until just now.

 

Ian placed the cereal onto the kitchen island, getting the milk out of the fridge as well, Mickey getting the bowls and spoons, neither of them saying anything. It wasn’t awkward, though - maybe it should have been after Ian’s question - but, it was comfortable and it always had been in between them. No matter what was going on.

 

As Mickey lazily walked over towards the coffee maker, pouring Mandy’s cold shit out to put some new on, it crossed his mind how fucking domestic this was. Walking around the kitchen in their boxers, Ian humming something so quietly that he could barely hear it, much less say what it was he was humming. It wasn’t anything that they hadn’t done before - pretty much every single day in between coming home from camp and going back to school had started this way - but it felt different now. Bad different? Good different? Mickey couldn’t tell.

 

Maybe it was because Ian had more or less asked Mickey that they would do this for the rest of their lives. It was a big thing - they weren’t fucking eighteen years old yet. Not that he didn’t want it - Mickey supposed he could see himself saying ‘I do’ to Ian - in their twenties, that was. Maybe in their early thirties, even. Mickey had never really even thought about marriage until last night - fuck, he hadn’t even thought about relationships until he had met Ian - it all just made him confused and he wasn’t sure what he wanted to say.

 

“Are you alright?” Ian pulled Mickey out of his own head, the slightly older teenager walking back towards the kitchen island, hearing the coffee begin being made. Mickey was silent for a second, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he placed his hands behind himself, curling them around the edge as he nodded, Ian closing the fridge door to stand in front of him, not more than maybe a meter separating them.

 

“Yeah, man” Mickey didn’t know what to say other than just assure him that he was, in fact, alright. He was, that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that he wasn’t sure what to answer to Ian’s other question - the bigger one.

 

Was this really how it was supposed to go? When someone proposed, wasn’t there supposed to be like a dinner and a ring and shit like that - not that Mickey felt as if he wanted that stuff, but he knew that Ian couldn’t get that for him right now - maybe there was a reason why people in high school didn’t get married.

 

Because it was too soon. Besides, it wasn’t even as if they had been together since they were kids or some shit, if that had been the case then maybe this would have made somewhat more sense.

 

So many people had relationships in high school - and although a part of Mickey wanted to doubt it, surely a lot of them were as in love as he and Ian were at the moment, wanted to believe that it would work out just as badly as they did. But those couples didn’t get married - and… it was crazy of Ian to even ask. It was. Mickey knew this.

 

So why couldn’t he possibly just turn him down straight up? Ian would get over it eventually, Mickey knew that too. He wasn’t completely insane, it wasn’t as if they were thirty and living together or anything - in which case Mickey turning down his proposal probably would have stung more than it would if he were to turn it down today.

 

“Just thinking” Mickey shrugged then, to which Ian took a step forwards, wrapping his hands around his thighs and lifting him up onto the kitchen counter, it went so fast that Mickey should have been surprised, or made a joke about him being the hulk or something, but at the moment Ian was looking straight into his eyes, and they both knew that this wasn’t really a time for jokes.

 

“Mickey…” Ian started, his hands resting flatly on the table next to his boyfriend, Mickey thumbing his bottom lip. Alright. They were doing this. They were having a literal, actual not-late-night-high-off-of-just-having-got-back-together talk about getting married. Shit. “I’ll be fine if you say no, but think about it” Mickey took a deep breath, furrowing his eyebrows a little bit, the truth was that he wasn’t sure if he loved or hated the fact that Ian had ever come up with the idea. “I want to be with you, you want to be with me. Why wait?”

 

“Because we’re in high school, jackass. Fuck, we’re not even eighteen, can we even do this shit?” Mickey pointed out, this conversation immediately turning into a one hundred percent serious one.

 

“You’re emancipated, so you technically are” Ian nodded. “And I’d only need a signature from my guardian, you think Fiona gives a shit what I do? Probably wouldn’t even have time to read it.” Mickey continued chewing at the inside of his bottom lip, turning it over inside of his head - really thinking about it. Getting married. Calling Ian his husband, having Ian introduce him as his husband. Holy fuck. A small part of him kind of liked the idea, but mostly it was nothing but terrifying. Even calling Ian his boyfriend was terrifying. Fiancé, husband? Fuck.

 

“You thought this shit over, huh?” Mickey raised his eyebrows, watching Ian shrug.

 

“Not a ton, but I remember Fiona wanting to get married when she was seventeen” Ian said, the air in the room easing up when he turned back around to get the coffee that was finished now, pouring some into two cups and adding some milk to his.

 

Mickey took that opportunity to add some cereal to the milk that he had already put into his bowl. Then he lifted his breakfast up, putting a spoonful into his mouth right as Ian walked back over to him, placing one of the cups next to his boyfriend thigh.

 

“Never went through with it, thank god. The guy was completely wrong for her, and - “ Ian stopped talking when Mickey raised his eyebrows, hearing his boyfriend make his own point perfectly. Who the fuck honestly knew who they would end up with when they were seventeen anyway. “Mick, they weren’t us. Look… if you don’t want to get married and if you don’t want to tell me no, then…” Mickey stayed quiet as Ian swallowed down some of his own coffee, pausing before he continued. “How about getting engaged? It can be a few months or a couple of years until we actually do it, but…” Ian shrugged. “I just…”

 

“Want to tie me down, quarterback?” Mickey teased, taking another spoonful of the frootloops, watching Ian grin back at him. For a second they were quiet, both of their minds probably spinning around and around, trying to figure out what they should say next. It still wasn’t awkward or anything - oddly enough they were having a real, adult conversation about whether they should make this decision or not.

 

Getting married at seventeen years old was not only a possibly stupid idea, but it was incredibly odd as well. Unless it was a chick that was knocked up, Mickey couldn’t imagine that anyone else would even consider getting married in high school. It wasn’t normal - but then again, last night Ian had stated that they weren’t normal. And maybe he was right. Maybe this wasn’t normal - maybe being this in love with someone at the age that they were, wasn’t normal.

 

“Mick?” Ian spoke then, breaking the silence in between them. Mickey’s face was neutral as he waited for his boyfriend to finish swallowing his spoon of cereal and continue saying whatever he was going to say.

 

Once his mouth was empty, he placed the bowl next to Mickey’s coffee cup, crossing his arms, looking into the blue eyes.

 

“Answer for you, not for me or because you’re worried about other people or some shit - just - I’m asking you…” Ian uncrossed his arms, taking one step forwards so that he could softly cup Mickey’s waist, tugging him forwards a little bit. Mickey felt like a baby or a chick or some shit as he wrapped his legs around his boyfriend’s waist, but at the moment he kind of liked it. His eyebrows were raised as Ian opened his mouth again. “… To marry me” Mickey was quiet for a moment, letting the words settle inside of his brain. Then he swallowed, fighting a smile.

 

“You got some stupid fucking shit going on in there” Mickey brought his right hand up to Ian’s forehead, slapping his head somewhat gently, accomplishing nothing at all. Ian just kept his face neutral, letting Mickey know that he wanted a serious answer. That he was serious about this. Maybe the fact that Mickey had broken up with him only a few weeks ago because they were moving too fast and getting too serious should be a sign that they should be slowing down - but that break up hadn’t made Mickey want to move slower. It had only made him realize how much he didn’t want to be without Ian in the end. So ultimately - “Okay”

 

“Okay?” Ian asked, sounding more confused than Mickey had ever heard him in the past.

 

“Let’s get fucking married and shit”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact that this was originally just gonna be a high school marriage au, but I added the whole 'meeting at summer camp' thing last minute. Lmao. It's happening. 
> 
> I hope that you all have a good day! <3


	15. Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Did Ian knock you up or something?” Mickey tilted his head to the side, his face filling with boredom, and Mandy realized that this probably wasn’t the best time to be making jokes. He was serious - actually fucking serious. Getting married. What the hell? “Wow. Not even a smile. You’re serious about this, huh, Mick?” She watched her brother shrug once more, and maybe that was the moment that she realized that yes - he fucking was.

Mickey wasn’t all too sure what he had been thinking - or what he was thinking at the moment. Fucking getting married in high school, who even really, actually went through with shit like that? Unless it was a chick who was pregnant from a dude who had zero balls. Getting married because you were in love sounded pretty fucked up - at seventeen years old, that was.

 

Who knew how long something would end up lasting? If two people were married when shit went to hell, surely the split would be so much uglier than it would have gotten, had a simple breakup been all that was needed. But Mickey knew - and Ian had pointed out to him more than once - that marriage was forever, good and bad and that shit. They weren’t supposed to be together until the breakup, if they got married, then that meant that they were supposed to be together until - fuck. And Mickey was freaking out again. It was a big thing, and yes - it was scary, and no - he didn’t know what the hell he was thinking.

 

But as he trailed after Ian around the Gallagher house, heading towards the backdoor, Mickey remembered how fucked up he had felt all throughout the time that they hadn’t been together.

 

Sure, the breakup hadn’t been ugly in the sense that it had involved screaming and throwing things and whatnot, but it had been ugly and terrible, because they hadn’t been together. Mickey wanted to be with Ian, and if they were both sure of that - and they were - then… yeah. This was the thought-trail that Mickey had been on for almost a week now - since Ian had first brought it all up to begin with. If they were sure that they wanted to be together for a long time, then what the fucking hell? Why not? Maybe a ‘what the hell’ attitude wasn’t the absolute best thing when it came to marriage, but Mickey was seventeen - he was fucking allowed to be all over.

 

Although - his organs felt somewhat fucked up as he watched the back of Ian’s shoes. Telling Fiona was something that Ian had chosen to avoid for quite a few days - he hadn’t actually straight out said that that’s what he was doing, however - Mickey had noticed. Ian was avoiding it, and he couldn’t blame him. When they had first had that whole talk about actually going through with this, then Ian had said something along the lines of Fiona not caring, or Fiona just not reading whatever papers she would have to sign to allow Ian to get married. However - and despite the fact that Mickey just barely could put the name with the face - from what he understood, Fiona did care about Ian.

 

And marriage was a huge fucking thing, so he doubted that she would be quite as easy going as Ian had thought, or would have liked to think. It didn’t make all that much sense for her to brush it off, if Mickey was being honest. Surely she would have something to say - whether that thing was yes or no, Mickey had no fucking clue which was why his heart was freaking out just a little bit, bouncing against his ribcage in a messy pattern.

 

“Fiona? Are you home yet?” Ian called as he opened the small backdoor of the house, walking inside, Mickey following him. Mickey hadn’t been inside of the Gallagher house way too many times, but he did know it enough to know where the different rooms were. So far today it seemed quite empty. Then again, it was a Friday afternoon, so Mickey supposed that most of Ian’s siblings were probably still in school or at work or wherever they went during the day, he wasn't completely sure, if he was being honest.

 

All he knew was that his boyfriend had a fuck ton of siblings - two sisters and the rest brothers, if he was correct. Both younger and older.

 

“Fiona?” Ian called again when he didn’t get a direct answer. He walked around the kitchen island, heading towards the fridge to retrieve two cans of coke, throwing one over to Mickey right as he walked up to the other side of the island, leaning against it and waiting for Ian’s sister to notice they were there - if she was, that was, and Ian seemed to be pretty sure she should be.

 

“Ian?” Fiona came walking down the stairs in the livingroom pretty soon after her name had left his mouth the second time. Ian cracked his soda open, turning towards her as she headed into the kitchen, laundry basket under one arm. The weather was starting to become just a little bit chillier out at this point - it was nowhere near cold, but fall was around the corner and the Chicago weather had caught on. So a thin, grey knitted sweater sat around Fiona’s upper body, her messy brown hair collected up into a ponytail at the back of her head, not much make up on her face.

 

Mickey hadn’t met the woman all that many times - maybe five or six - but she always seemed to have that large smile on her face, and though she seemed nice, he wasn’t sure how anyone could have energy enough to smile that much.

 

“I haven’t seen you around in a couple of days, I was afraid you might have moved in and started playing house for real” She joked, nodding to Mickey and looking at him for a second before moving her focus back to her little brother.

 

Ian lifted his right hand up to the back of his neck, a slight smile on his face as he nodded at her joke - well, she had believed it was a joke but as it turns out, she was a little bit more spot on than she had probably intended to be.

 

“Yeah, no. Fiona, I want to talk to talk to you about something, alright?” Ian looked to Mickey. “We want to talk to you about something, could you sit down? A few minutes?” The smile on Fiona’s face fell a little bit, if only for the fact that she became confused, wondering what Ian could mean by that. However, she looked into her brother’s eyes for another moment, and then she shrugged, turning around and placing the laundry basket on top of the washing machine and straightening out her shirt, crossing her arms over her chest, her head moving slowly up and down a couple of times as she had heard the unmistakable seriousness in Ian’s voice while he had spoken. She dragged a chair to the edge of the kitchen island, sitting down while Mickey did the same, Ian staying with his back towards the fridge, leaning over the counter a little bit.

 

“Ian. Mickey, what’s going on?” Fiona asked, confusion quite blatant in her voice as she turned to look at her brother’s boyfriend, who just shook his head.

 

“I’m gonna let Ian take this one” Mickey knew that Ian wanted to explain this to his sister himself - Mickey being there was just quiet moral support. This whole marriage thing was for both of them - quite fucking obviously - but Ian wanted to do this his way. So Fiona nodded, turning her head back to look at Ian, waiting patently for him to begin. Mickey chewed at the inside of his bottom lip - he wasn’t all too nervous - not really, and he doubted that Ian was either. It was just… weird. To say this, to explain this. Mickey wasn’t even all too sure why he wanted Fiona to say yes, why he wanted to turn to Ian and say ‘I do’. But he just knew that he did.

 

  
***

 

  
_“You nervous about today, man?” Mickey asked, almost having to close his eyes to escape the bright morning sun that was pouring in through the large window in his bedroom. The mattress was cool against his back, the pillow the same against the skin of his neck._

 

_It was way too early for them both to be awake, really - it wasn’t even six am just quite yet. But they had classes, so it wasn’t a complete waste, they had to get up in an hour or so anyway. His left arm was folded, elbow resting against the covers in between him and his boyfriend, hand in the air while he watched Ian’s fingers play with his own. The sun highlighted a few specks of dust in the window, and it caught Mickey’s eye for a second before Ian’s voice dragged him back into reality._

 

_“Not really” He hummed, voice still groggy from sleep. Telling Fiona was a big step - it was something that made this all so much more real - but then again, they both could only assume that it would still feel incredibly surreal, and it was. It didn’t make any kind of fucking sense whatsoever, and they both knew it - it was quick and it was stupid and it was reckless - but so what? Worst case scenario? Like worst, worst case scenario? They got divorced in a few years and moved on. If it for some reason didn’t end up working out, it wouldn’t end in a literal blood bath or anything. But once again - they weren’t getting married to break up, they were getting married to… to be married. Because they wanted to be. “If I explain it, I think she’ll say yes” Ian added then, both pairs of eyes focused on the long, freckled fingers playing with the short, pale and inked up ones. It looked somehow right._

 

_“If she does…” Mickey spoke suddenly, taking his hand out of Ian’s so that he could roll over onto his stomach, ending up slightly on top of his boyfriend, their faces close together. “I want you to know, that I wanna marry you, alright? I wanna be your fucking husband” It went without saying - but Mickey liked saying it. And Ian liked to hear it._

 

  
***

 

  
“Fi, you know that I make a lot of mistakes. But when it comes to bigger things in my life, I think them over” Mickey looked at Ian as Ian looked at Fiona. Mickey couldn’t ever quite remember hearing Ian be so serious about something - it made that warm, kind of fuzzy and fluttery feeling in the pit of his stomach even a little bit stronger while he waited for him to continue talking to his confused sister. “I love Mickey, Fiona. So much” Mickey stayed silent, but he couldn’t help feeling like a fucking thirteen year-old schoolgirl at the words while he looked down at the table, struggling to keep his face from breaking out into a large, cheesy fucking smile. “And I know that’s not something that’s gonna go away just because we get older, so…” Ian trailed off, and Fiona kept her eyes strictly focused on her brother, her face in a frown. A frown that said that she was desperately trying to put two and two together and figure out what he was getting at, but it was proving to be a difficult task. Alas - Ian cleared it all up with five words. “We want to get married” He stated, voice just somehow sounding so… sure. Clean and clear, truly reflecting how confident he was in the fact that this was really what he wanted. “Soon. But I need your permission”

 

Mickey stayed quiet all throughout Ian speaking, not really sure what to add, were he to add something. It was all there - it was scary and huge and some may say fucked up - but it was there. They were in love, they were young, yes. But they wanted to do this, and Mickey completely and doubted that he had ever in his entire life been this sure about anything. Ian was it. No buts.

 

And with every single time that his boyfriend’s words passed through his brain - the ones he had said that night - ‘ _Why not let everything start today?_ ’ the more sense it made. The more sure Mickey became. Which was why now, as Fiona was silent, probably struggling to let the unexpected words register inside of her brain, Mickey’s heart did that weird uncomfortable flip once again. His eyes connected with Ian’s over the table, their mouths pulling up into small, puppy love revealing smiles. Mickey’s throat thickened a little bit, as his did guts. Fuck.

 

“Ian, what are you thinking?” They were pulled out of their somewhat quiet moment by Fiona’s sigh. For a minute, she had had her forehead leaned into her palm, struggling to put the pieces together, but now she spoke, making both of the teenage boys look to her, Ian swallowing and preparing himself for a heated discussion - he had with all of his heart hoped that this would go over smoothly, but if it didn’t then he would fight with her - because this was what he wanted. Ian wanted to have a ring on his finger, and he wanted to call Mickey his husband. His wish was to wake up next to him every single morning, not just for now, or for the next year, but for as long as he could. He wanted to make him breakfast and dinner and watch shitty ass movies.

 

Ian wanted to be with Mickey through everything, and maybe even get their own house in a decade or so. Paint a fucking white picket fence, knowing that they had fought through shit to earn that fucking thing. That’s what Ian wanted; he knew that that wouldn’t change. And if they could start today with a ring - why not?

 

“I understand that you are in love, Ian. And I know that you feel like it’s going to last forever, but you are both seventeen. Odds are - it’s not” Fiona said, looking at Mickey for a moment before shifting her attention back to her brother.

 

“Then we fucking make it” Mickey couldn’t help the words that came out of his mouth - it was true. People made conscious decisions to break up, people made conscious decisions to lie, or cheat, or stop working on their relationship and let it fade out instead - or whatever the fuck ended a relationship. It wasn’t like a Russian roulette thing or some shit where they would have no control over whether they lasted or not. If Mickey and Ian wanted to be together for a long fucking time - then they made sure that happened. Maybe Mickey was being naive, and yes - he knew that to some degree, it was beyond their control what would end up happening with their relationship, but not completely. But they wanted this, and they wanted this now, and they would want this for a long time - so what the fuck?

 

“I know I’m gonna want it to” Ian agreed with Mickey, looking to Fiona who had her eyebrows raised. She was silent, though, seemingly letting some things stir inside of her brain. It was understandable - she wouldn’t be much of a guardian if she just was alright with anything all the time.

 

And maybe marriage was a much bigger thing than Ian and Mickey saw it as right now. If they got married, it wasn’t as if they would be wearing suits and planning a large wedding - or even having a cake, or a honeymoon. Maybe all of that - the things that most people had when they got married - made it seem like much bigger deal. All Ian and Mickey wanted to do was sign some papers, maybe have a few people with them down to the courthouse or whatever.

 

Get their rings and then be able to call each other husband - it wasn’t a fairytale, it wasn’t as if they were dreamers or anything along those lines, they just wanted to be together. Now and… the lump in Mickey’s throat grew a little bit. Forever was a huge word, holy shit. But it wasn’t as scary as it should be. Not when it was connected to Ian.

 

Fiona was quiet for another beat, eyes still focused on her brother. Ian looked back at her, waiting for an answer - practically fucking praying for her to say yes. That was what he wanted. All he wanted was a yes, he didn’t need her to dance for them, he didn’t need her to be happy about it - he just wanted a yes. And the truth was - it wasn’t long at all until he was eighteen anyway, so what was going to happen? Fiona would say no, Ian would be pissed for a few months and then marry Mickey when he turned eighteen anyway - that sounded like a great plan.

 

“Are you completely sure? This is what you want in life? This is what you’ll want in ten years, this is what you’ll want in thirty and forty and fifty?” Fiona raised her eyebrows, looking at her brother who could only swallow, keeping the eye contact with her for a beat before looking to Mickey again. Mickey’s face was quite blank, not much emotion over his features. But he was beautiful, and despite the things they had gone through not too long ago - and despite the shit that they would inevitably face in the future - yes. As sure as Ian could be at seventeen years old, that’s how sure he was. So he looked back to Fiona, and he nodded.

 

“I am, Fi. I’m sure, I wouldn’t have asked him if I wasn’t, and I wouldn’t be sitting here asking you” As the words registered in Fiona’s brain, her chest moved up and down once - large movements. She was silent for another beat, but then she gave him.

 

“Yeah, alright. If you’re sure, then I’m not gonna stand in your way”

 

After another half an hour or so of talking and discussing, convincing Fiona that they would be so much more than fine with this, Ian and Mickey left the Gallagher house, Ian tugging his boyfriend close to his side, pressing a loving kiss to his temple, both of their stomachs fluttering, happier than they could remember ever being in the past.

 

  
***

 

  
One of the old fans that the twins had somehow been able to afford was standing by the side of Mandy’s bed, making way too much noise than it probably was meant to. She was laying down on her stomach on top of her covers, feet resting on the pillow while she struggled to read through her homework, trying to understand it all without falling asleep. Her chin rested in her cupped palm, her dark strands of hair collected up into a tight bun on top of her head, her bangs left out of it, almost tickling her eyelashes at this point.

 

Right as the clock was about to strike eight, the door to her room opened, making her look up, raising her eyebrows and waiting for her brother to explain why he had disturbed her silence - well, she was thankful for it, honestly - one more minute left alone with these books and confusing words, she might have actually gone insane. Mickey usually entered her room with force, yelling at her about the dishes or something, but he wasn’t like that now. He had entered without knocking, because, well - he was still Mickey - but he looked a lot calmer than he usually did. Maybe even just a little bit nervous?

 

“What?” Mandy stayed laying down as she asked him the question, her eyebrows raised still. Mickey was quiet for another second, crossing his arms over his chest and looking down at her, bringing his right hand up to his mouth and thumbing the bottom lip.

 

“Sit up, I got something to tell you” Mandy opened her mouth, getting ready to tell him to just spit it out so that she could get back to her school work, but one look down at the different biology patterns and she realized that she would take any possible excuse to get out of it - even listening to whatever the fuck Mickey wanted to tell her. So she flipped the book closed with a slight sigh, easing herself to sit up, raising her eyebrows once again before relaxing, giving him the silent signal to start talking.

 

Mickey stayed standing up right in front of her, and he was quiet for a beat, which meant in Mandy’s mind that he was nervous about something - about what she had no fucking idea, and to be honest, she was kind of curious. She hadn’t seen him like this since… well, she probably had seen him like this before. Nervous, biting his tongue, crossing his arms and gathering up courage, but she couldn’t remember when.

 

“You dumping Ian again? Because if you are, then - “

 

“We’re getting married” Mickey interrupted her, going back to chewing at the inside of his bottom lip the second that the last syllable had left his lips. Mandy’s lips stayed parted from her brother cutting her off, and she looked at him - just looked at him. Trying to put the pieces together and trying to understand what the actual fuck was going through his mind at the moment - marriage? Married? Like -

 

“Married, like - like you’re getting married in a few years, you want to be together in the future, things are good now?” Mandy asked, knowing that if she was right, Mickey wouldn’t have walked into her room, feeling the need to tell her that shit. As she had suspected, he just shook his head, snorting once and looking down at the floor for a minute before lifting his focus back up to his sister, his shoulders lifting into some kind of a shrug.

 

“No, Mands. We’re - actually getting married. In a few weeks. Been thinking about it for a while and we decided. Thought you should know because I want you there” The words were just a tiny bit rushed as Mickey spoke, obviously a little bit uncomfortable with talking to Mandy about it - probably because he wasn’t too sure how she would react, and - she wasn't either. What should she say to that? It sounded pretty fucking stupid - getting married at seventeen, who even did that. Unless, of course -

 

“Did Ian knock you up or something?” Mickey tilted his head to the side, his face filling with boredom, and Mandy realized that this probably wasn’t the best time to be making jokes. He was serious - actually fucking serious. Getting married. What the hell? “Wow. Not even a smile. You’re serious about this, huh, Mick?” She watched her brother shrug once more, and maybe that was the moment that she realized that yes - he fucking was.

 

  
***

 

  
“Can you believe this?” Mandy looked up from her phone and turned around, facing Sabrina, Scooters arm resting around her neck. “What are they thinking?”

 

They were all currently inside of the courthouse, waiting for everything to begin. Mandy wasn’t sure she had an answer to her friend’s question - she didn’t know what Mickey was thinking, nor what Ian was thinking. It was straight up strange that the thought of getting married this young - and this fast - would somehow end up crossing their minds. But Mandy had to admit that she had never seen Mickey happier than when he was with Ian, and she hadn’t known Ian before he had met Mickey, so she couldn’t judge but she supposed that he was happier with Mickey than he was without him as well.

 

Had they been twenty one, twenty two years old then this wouldn’t be strange at all - or if it was just a year from now it wouldn’t be as strange either. Maybe just the fact that they were in high school made it seem weird, made it seem as if they were rushing into things - which they were. There was no doubt that they were rushing into things, but maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing.

 

“I think it’s sweet” Scooter just about voiced Mandy’s thoughts as he looked around the room. Of course once she had gotten used to the idea of the two of them getting married, she had tried to push the whole wedding, cake, band, first dance shit onto them - she couldn’t help it. No matter what she looked like on the outside, she liked weddings. She liked the idea of two people finding each other and saying ‘I do’ in front of a ton of people and then dancing to their favorite song - this, of course - wasn’t something that Mickey and Ian had even considered. From what Mandy could gather, they were more focused on being married than getting married.

 

  
***

 

  
It had been a fucked up few weeks since Ian and Mickey had decided to actually do this shit. It had been a lot of stress - mostly because there had been so many people to tell - and there had been some second-guessing and a few long talks about it - but here they were. Ian’s hands felt sweaty inside of Mickey’s, and Mickey felt kind of ridiculous standing here, his arms outstretched.

 

But somehow the look in Ian’s eyes calmed him down a little bit. His soon-to-be husband looked so sure of himself, so calm and secure - and it made Mickey all the same. He swallowed roughly, his thumbs rubbing small circles on the back of Ian’s hands. There weren’t many people in the courtroom at all - Ian’s siblings, Scooter, Sabrina and Mandy. That was all they needed, and Mickey would have been freaking out even more on the inside, had there been more people there.

 

Mickey just somehow wanted this to be for Ian, and for him. And as they stood there, looking at each other, repeating the basic vows, Mickey had to admit that although his heart was absolutely freaking out, he at the same exact time felt just as calm as Ian looked. He didn’t know how to explain it, but… maybe his heart freaking out was because he was excited, happy. Maybe he wasn’t nervous about whether or not he was doing the right thing, because - as ridiculous as it sounded - in his heart, he knew that he was. Yes, he and Ian were young, and yes they were still in school. No, they hadn’t been together for more than a few months at this point, but - Mickey knew. He didn’t know how he knew, or what exactly it was about Ian that made him feel so at peace, and so happy, but - it was real. It was true, and there was virtually nothing that could make him feel differently.

 

Fuck. In a couple of short minutes, they were going to be married. Husbands. At seventeen. It made zero sense, and yet - it made perfect sense. Mickey swallowed, continuing to keep his eyes on Ian’s. it did made sense - it was right. It was somewhat terrifying - but it was right.

 

  
***

 

  
Mandy stood next to Scooter, Sabrina and Fiona as they all watched Ian and Mickey get married. It was incredibly surreal, if she was being honest. They weren’t crying or some shit, and they didn’t look emotional at all - not that she had expected them to. And Mandy still had her confusions about why exactly they had decided to do this - like fuck she would ever tie herself down at her age, but then again - maybe they felt something for each other that she had never had the opportunity to feel.

 

Maybe she didn’t have to understand - maybe she couldn’t understand, and fuck - maybe nobody else could understand what the fuck was going on between the two of them. Maybe they had something stronger than most teenagers did, or maybe they would just make sure that they made it stronger as they grew older. Maybe they would fight harder than most people did - and if Mandy knew them both right, they would succeed.

 

Mandy wasn’t really listening to what anyone was saying, she was just simply standing, watching. She was kind of trapped inside of her own head, thinking about random things. In ten years, either Mickey and Ian would be divorced and labeling this as the worst mistake of their lives - or they would still be together, happy. Maybe with a fucking kid, but that’s where Mandy forced herself to stop. She didn’t want to think about that. Thinking about her brother’s future gave her even more of a headache than it did when she thought about her own, not that that exactly made a ton of sense. Maybe it was because she sort of knew what his future held for him, she didn’t have a fucking clue about her own - but… she liked that.

 

Watching her brother tie the knot, that was great for him. He had found what he wanted in life, at least one thing that he wanted - one person. But Mandy was seventeen years old, she didn’t want to find shit this early. She wanted to make mistakes, and she wanted to hurt, and cry - then she wanted to find her future. It probably made quite a bit of sense - Mandy standing, watching her brother say ‘I do’ as thoughts of her own life occupied her brain.

 

She wasn’t in much of a rush or whatever, and maybe when most people thought about their future, they were stressed about it. Who they were going to fall in love with, what they were going to work with, where they were going to live, what friends they were going to have - all that shit. And… in this moment Mandy realized that as happy as she was for her brother, she was completely happy with just watching him figure that shit out for now.

 

  
***

 

  
Ian looked down, watching Mickey’s hand as he carefully and slowly slid the ring onto his finger - it wasn’t anything super expensive, obviously - but it was a wedding ring. It was a symbol, it was real, it was theirs. And now they both had them on, tying them to one another for life. Holy fucking shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it wasn't obvious, my focus is on them being married in high school, not them getting married - if that makes any kind of sense (which is why I kind of sped through that process, because I want to get to the next part of the story where I actually have shit planned out.) This was always kind of supposed to be a light-hearted fic, not at all as serious as some of my other ones. There will still be some angst and things coming up, obviously, but it's a high school fic, you know? It's not like La Vie En Rose or anything. That being said - I am also incredibly aware that this is far from my best work. I don't try very hard anymore, because... uh. I don't know. I'm kind of bored with this universe, honestly. But I also kind of like it, so I don't want to abandon it. 
> 
> Yeah. Anyway. I'm writing a movie AU for my big bang this time around so I'm gonna go rewatch that movie now to make sure I don't miss anything that I should add. I hope some people will like that story, I'm actually excited to get started on it. 
> 
> (Also, is anyone even reading this? Or any of my stuff? I feel as if I used to have quite a lot of readers and followers, and no numbers have really gone down but I feel like I've lost so many. I don't know. I love the few of you that have been commenting lately. But if you're reading this, can you comment like 'I'm here' or 'I liked this' or 'I'm excited about your big bang' I don't know - just literally anything because I feel like I'm talking to myself lmao. I'm not begging for praise or anything, I just want to know people are actually still interested in my stuff, because the past few weeks... ugh. I don't know lmao)
> 
> Anyway - I love all of you so much and I hope you have an amazing day <3 <3 <3


	16. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No, it was most definitely not one of the most expensive wedding bands, but it was in fact a real and true wedding band - and Ian had a matching one. It hadn’t even been twenty four hours since Mickey’s husband had slid the ring onto his finger, and yet he couldn’t possibly remember how his hand had felt or looked without it.

Oddly enough, waking up the next morning - in Mickey’s opinion - didn’t feel all too strange, or that different from how it had felt previously. Mandy had decided to stay over at Sabrina’s so that the newlyweds - fuck, that still sounded weird as fuck - could have their wedding night, because obviously they couldn’t exactly afford a honeymoon, or even a hotel room and frankly - none of that shit was the reason why they had gotten married in the first place.

 

Alas - despite their somewhat wild night - come the morning, Mickey was awoken by the sun pouring in through the window - he should really get better at remembering to close the blinds. His eyebrows were knitted together, eyes still closed, his bare body spread out under the thin covers. A slight ache was present at the back of his head, and he guessed that it was a result from all of the beer that he and Ian had both consumed last night - beer and fucking had been their wedding night, yeah, and he couldn’t imagine anything better, or anything that would better represent what their married life would probably be like. At least for the next few years or so.

 

Mickey’s eyebrows stayed furrowed in annoyance, his eyes slowly blinking open to take in the bright bedroom, his lips parting a few times, a dry, disgusting taste on his tongue that probably came from a hangover and sleeping with his mouth open. He looked down then, seeing his boyfriend - or, his husband, actually; holy fucking shit - spread out over his chest, his head resting on is chest, all of their limbs somehow tangled together into a complete mess.

 

Mickey could barely tell where he ended and where Ian begun, and quite frankly - he didn’t care to. Ian’s soft breaths fanned his nipple, the short red hairs tickling his neck as he continued staying fast asleep all the while Mickey started to wake up even more and more. They did have stuff to do today after all - they couldn't just skip school just because they got married yesterday.

 

Maybe that sounded a little bit strange, and maybe they should allow themselves to take a day, but they had decided not to. After all - they had skipped quite a few days in the past weeks, and Mickey didn’t want to do it anymore. Of course he would rather spend the day naked in bed with Ian, drinking way more beer than he should technically be able to stomach - however, he also really fucking wanted to get into some kind of a college, even if it wasn’t a particularly good one. And he wouldn’t be able to do that, if they both continued to stay home when they didn’t need to.

 

In other words, Mickey soon started to move a little bit, trying to nudge the other sleeping teenager off of his body, doing his best to untangle their limbs. Ian’s breaths grew a little bit heavier as Mickey dug his teeth into the inside of his bottom lip, focusing as to not wake him up completely - he had made that mistake before. Ian wasn’t all too pleasant to deal with when he was awoken way before he needed to be - then again, neither was Mickey, really. It took almost a full minute, but then Mickey managed to push Ian off himself enough that he rolled over in his sleep, replacing Mickey with a pillow that he wrapped his arms around, pushing his face into the case, continuing to stay fast asleep.

 

Mickey watched for a second, making sure he didn’t wake up, and then he swung his legs over the edge of the bed, staying seated for a beat. The bedroom door was open - they had been in a rush last night, if he remembered correctly; it was possible that he didn’t seeing as they had both already been drunk off their fucking asses as they had entered the empty apartment - so he could see out all the way to the front door.

 

Mickey didn’t have a clock nearby - well, he had his phone but it was probably half way across the room in the pocket of his jeans that were laying thrown on the floor right next to Ian’s shirt - so he couldn’t be all too certain what the time was exactly, but he guessed that it hadn’t struck seven yet. Possibly not even six thirty. The apartment carried that yellow, early morning sheen.

 

The one that made everything seem so quiet and so peaceful, no matter how incredibly intense the night before had been - the one that somehow seemed to remind the world that the earth continued to spin and night turned to day no matter what and all of that shit. Mickey had both of his hands placed beside himself on the mattress, just looking out. His gaze got caught on a cloud of dust specks out in the living room - he had forgotten to close those blinds as well, so the sun highlighted the dust, making everything seem even more quiet. The only sounds that reached Mickey’s ears at all were the soft, tired sighs of his fast asleep husband.

 

After a couple of minutes, Mickey sighed comfortably, pushing himself up from the bed to stand, feeling the ache in his body match the one in his head - from what he could remember, last night hadn’t been too intense - they hadn’t tied each other up or some shit like that, but he had been drinking enough not to remember every single second - they both had, probably - so it was possibly they hadn’t exactly gone slow or soft either, of course they hadn’t.

 

And if Mickey’s head couldn’t remember it, his ass surely did. He reached down to the floor, grabbing a hold of both his boxers and one of his old rocker tees that had been laying there for probably a few days at this point. He pulled the boxers up, throwing the t shirt on over his upper body before he lifted his right hand up to his head, scratching the back of his neck. With one more look thrown Ian’s way, making sure that he was still asleep, Mickey exited the bedroom, walking towards the kitchen - somewhat slowly thanks to the ache in his thighs that revealed he had probably been riding his husband for quite a while.

 

The carpet flooring was soft underneath Mickey’s bare feet, and he had to admit that today - this morning - he felt really fucking good. Yeah, his head was aching, his body was aching, he had to go to class in a few hours - but he felt good. Something was just… kind of nice. About remembering last night, about being married, about waking up to a quiet, sun washed apartment with his husband sleeping in the next room - things just felt kind of amazing. Mickey didn’t need a honeymoon, or any kind of shit like that. Ian and Mickey had gotten married to have this - a life together. And it was starting today, holy fucking shit.

 

Mickey swallowed, once again attempting to get rid of that dry feeling in his throat, but it wasn’t doing all that much; he walked over towards the kitchen, heading beyond the island to get to the counter where he quickly started up the coffee like he had done a million times before, knowing that caffeine was probably one of the only things that could possibly cure his hangover right now - and thereby his headache - because as far as he knew, Mandy had taken the last few Advils, and they still hadn’t re-stocked. The silence that had covered the apartment was replaced by the sound of the coffee maker, Mickey sighed somewhat comfortably - this felt oddly normal. Just… waking up and making coffee, it was all kind of surreal despite the fact that this was what he had been doing every single morning for the past few weeks.

 

The coffee started dripping down into the old pot, and Mickey turned towards the fridge, getting the jug of milk out along with the orange juice, placing them both onto the kitchen island behind him before moving over to the cupboards, getting cereal and bowls along with two coffee mugs. Ian wasn’t even awake yet, and this still felt like the most domestic thing he had ever done in his entire fucking life.

 

While Mickey continued getting the breakfast ready, the sun was still pouring in through the open blinds, creating thick lines on the carpet flooring and the couch, not quite reaching the kitchen, because the blinds on the other side of the front door were actually closed, and they had been pretty much ever since Mickey and Mandy had moved into this place - there was just never much of a reason to open them. Mickey pushed one bowl aside, pulling the other one closer so that he could open the froot loops and pour some of the cereal into it, half of his mind on the act and half of his mind on the thin, silver wedding band that was wrapped around his ring finger.

 

Once he put the cereal down, he didn’t directly go to the milk. Instead he held his left hand out in front of himself, just looking down at the jewelery. No, it was most definitely not one of the most expensive wedding bands, but it was in fact a real and true wedding band - and Ian had a matching one. It hadn’t even been twenty four hours since Mickey’s husband had slid the ring onto his finger, and yet he couldn’t possibly remember how his hand had felt or looked without it. It was just right. Like he was supposed to wear it for the rest of his life, and - he was, he realized. That was kind of the whole fucking point.

 

Mickey had kind of been so absorbed in his own mind that he didn’t notice Ian walking out into the kitchen until he felt two strong arms wrap around his waist, pulling him back into his chest. Oddly enough, it was simple times like this that made Mickey so incredibly happy that he had somehow found Ian; when Ian just held him, or when they just cuddled - because Mickey had by now come to terms with that cuddling actually wasn’t all too bad. He could just wrap Ian up in his arms, or have it be the other way around, and they could just lay there, being close. Mickey was in love with the guy - how the fuck could he not like that? Neither of them said anything for a beat, and thanks to the height difference in between them, Ian’s nose was in the perfect position for him to press the bottom half of his face into Mickey’s temple, just breathing him in.

 

“Admiring the ring?” Ian mumbled, voice slightly muffled by Mickey’s hair. Mickey couldn’t exactly deny it, so he just hummed, leaning into his husband’s touch, his eyes closing for only a beat before he turned around, back leaning against the edge of the kitchen island as he looked at Ian.

 

Mickey had been terrified. He had been terrified to get into a relationship with Ian, he had been terrified when he had noticed that they were becoming serious - he had been scared out of his fucking mind when they had decided to get married, but… they were now. Married, and together, and… all Mickey could feel was peace. Their lower bodies rested together, the newlyweds feeling some kind of desire to touch, to be close no matter what. “I love you” Ian’s large mouth was pulled up into a large, but close mouthed smile while he brought his right hand up to the side of his husband’s neck, thumb resting slightly on his jawline. Mickey swallowed, nodding.

 

“I love you too” Ian’s smile excited that stage and became a grin, only for half a second or so before he went in, capturing Mickey’s lips in between his own. Mickey couldn’t help the slight hum that sounded in the base of his throat at the act - it just felt too fucking good, and it always had. Kissing Ian probably always would. Mickey brought his right arm up, wrapping it around Ian’s neck and tugging him down, their tongues sliding surely over each other’s for a moment right before they parted again, their hands staying on each other, eyes opening.

 

“What?” Ian had to ask, looking down at his husband and taking in the way that he seemed to only be staring at his chest, looking as if he was doing his absolute best to keep a large fucking grin off of his face. Mickey shrugged at the question, lifting his head a little bit so that their eyes connected.

 

“We’re fucking married, man” Ian snorted, nodding. It was crazy - it really was. Especially since they hadn’t been engaged for more than a few short weeks before they had actually gone through with all of it. It was all kind of a haze - how they had decided on it, how they had told every one - how they had said ‘I do’ less than twenty four hours ago - but… it was a good haze.

 

A really fucking good one, and yes - of fucking course there were no guarantees that they would actually be spending the rest of their lives together. Even if the had been thirty years old with jobs and a house and shit, there wouldn’t have been any bulletproof guarantees. But they were a little bit closer to it now, they knew that they wanted to try, and they knew that they didn’t want this to be some high school romance that only lasted a year - they wanted each other, for as long as they could, and that was the reason why they had decided to tie the knot, even if it was incredibly early on. Both in their lives and in their relationship.

 

“We’re fucking married” Ian nodded.

 

  
***

 

  
“Has anyone heard from them since we all left the courthouse at all?” Sabrina asked, unscrewing the cap of her water bottle to take a sip. Her pair of somewhat bleach washed black skinny jeans hugged her legs as she stretched them out across the step ahead of her; they disappeared into her regular, old black chucks, a beige knitted sweater covering her upper body while the brown, unstyled hair poured down over one of her shoulders in slight waves.

 

It was still quite early in the morning, but the hallway was still pretty much buzzing, which was why she, Scooter and Mandy had all sat down kind of at the edge of things, waiting the few minutes before they would have to get up and get to class. Mandy shook her head where she sat opposite of her friend on the step below, her legs outstretched in the same way, almost reaching the wall in front of her. She also shrugged, the movement making her body a little bit smaller for a second, causing the large neckline of her old AC/DC tee to fall off of her shoulder a little bit.

 

The black jeans on her legs just about matched Sabrina’s perfectly, though her own tapered off into a pair of old combat boots instead. Mandy had been drinking last night - almost as much as Ian and Mickey had - so her face was free of makeup except for some eyeliner, and the black hair wasn’t styled whatsoever, just pulled up into somewhat of a high ponytail, the strands falling over her shoulder, her bangs almost ticking her eyelashes a little bit at this point.

 

“Pretty sure they’re busy” Scooter was the only one to answer verbally, Mandy snorting in response and Sabrina laughing a little bit. Then they were all too tired to continue conversation - slight hang overs present in all of their heads, bodies heavy from going to bed at around three, or maybe even four am. It had been a big day for the three of them yesterday, Mandy couldn’t even begin to think about how tired Ian and Mickey must be since it had actually been their big day.

 

Mandy had to admit that when Mickey had first walked into her room, looking like he was about to piss his pants or some shit - and when he had told her that they were planning to get married, she had thought it was weird. Maybe even insane, but then they did it, and… even though she hadn’t seen them since the ceremony - if you could call it that when two people just ran down to the courthouse - she kind of got it now. She had never seen her brother happier than when he was with Ian, so it made sense. It even kind of made a lot of sense, despite the fact that she would never come up with the idea to do the same.

 

  
***

 

Mickey tried not to worry at all as he and Ian entered the school. He knew that it didn’t make much sense to worry, since as far as he knew, not a lot of people knew about the two of them deciding to get married. However - it was extremely possible that some of the guys on Ian’s team did know - it was fucking high school after all, rumors went around, sometimes without any possible clue as to who started it - and it wasn’t that Mickey gave a shit about what other people thought. He wasn’t worried about questions or anything - in fact, were they to get some, he would most likely just end up ignoring them.

 

However - this whole marriage thing was between him and Ian. It was their thing, and they had gone through with it for no other reason other than the fact that they had wanted to. They wanted to be married, they wanted to have wedding bands and they wanted to be together for the rest of their lives. It wasn’t anybody’s business except for their own, not at all. And Mickey wasn’t worried about comments that would hurt his feelings or some shit like that - what he was worried about was comments that would make him lose it, because he had heard how some of the people around school talked - and sometimes he heard really fucking terrible gossip about some people, and even though he didn’t give a shit - it all always just kind of made him remember why he had started skipping class to begin with.

 

Oddly enough, though - Mickey felt calm walking in. Ian’s fingers was slipped in between his own, and as uncomfortable as he usually was with public displays of affection, he liked that feeling. He liked knowing that he had someone on his arm who was with him, and who supported him. Not just today, or this year, or through school - holy fuck, forever.

 

Ian wasn’t completely oblivious to Mickey’s worries - of course he wasn’t - so to try to stop him from freaking out over other people, the pad of his thumb was rubbing smooth circles on the back of his hand, doing his best to calm him down, silently reminding him that they were two in this. Ian also knew that Mickey wouldn’t need to hear any comments to get annoyed with people - one strange look would do it. It wasn’t as if he would last out over nothing, but it would certainly be enough to make him tense up. Mickey just straight up didn’t like people - and what was wrong with that? Nothing, in Ian’s opinion. It was just kind of who he was.

 

And as Ian kind of had expected - and as Mickey had hoped - when they walked through the door, things felt oddly normal. Students were roaming around, digging through their lockers, screaming at each other, looking ad schedules, digging into their bags in hopeless attempts to try to find some kind of a pen or a pencil - it felt weird, in a way. Ian and Mickey had spent the past twenty four hours - and technically much more than that - feeling like adults. They were married, could call each other ‘husband’ and shit, and now… they were in school. It wasn’t a bad kind of weird, it was just… weird.

 

Like they were living some kind of double life despite the fact that they didn’t have to hide any part of it. It was still a few minutes until Ian and Mickey had to split up and go to their respective classes, so their hands stayed together, the newlyweds automatically kind of being drawn to the corner of the hallway where they knew their friends would most likely be. The steps right by the door had kind of become their place - all five of them.

 

“There they are” Scooter said as soon as they stopped in front of them all, Sabrina whistling two times.

 

“Didn’t think we would see you two today, honestly” She admitted then, raising her eyebrows. Mickey rolled his eyes, staying quiet as he slipped his hand out of Ian’s, for no other reason really other than the fact that it was becoming too warm, and it was quite the unnecessary thing to do, at least at the moment. Ian hitched his book bag further up his shoulder, Mickey crossing his arms.

 

The air was growing a little bit colder outside now, and on the way in here, he had started to regret the fact that he wasn’t wearing a jacket, and was walking around in just the muscle tee that he had thrown on when he had woken up - along with a pair of jeans, of course. But then again, maybe he should just be thankful that they were even remotely on time to class, because they had been delaying each other quite a bit this morning. Both in the kitchen, and then in the shower, and then Ian had delayed Mickey on the bed - and, they were two seventeen year old newlyweds, what the fuck were they supposed to be doing anyway? It was fucking normal. In Mickey’s opinion.

 

“You two bored of each other yet?” Mandy asked then, her voice flat but they all knew she was joking. Ian raised his eyebrows.

 

“Yeah, do you have a number for a good divorce lawyer?” Ian couldn't help but laugh back, Mickey poking him in the back to say ‘don’t even fucking joke about it’. Scooter, Sabrina and Mandy all snorted, and Ian turned his head to Mickey, smiling warmly to assure him that it was just a joke - of course it had been, but in a way maybe they were both allowed to be a little bit insecure in this relationship, if only for the fact that they were so young. It made sense in a way, and hopefully they would both grow more comfortable in a few months. Or a few years. Or a few decades - they had it all. Anytime the thought crossed Mickey’s mind, something happened in the pit of his stomach, the same thing that had happened the very first time he had ever laid eyes on his now-husband, only so much bigger and so much better.

 

  
***

 

  
Two classes and three hours into the day, Mickey was starting to realize that when it came to him and Ian getting married - maybe the kids around school just didn’t give a shit. It wasn’t as if he was hiding his wedding band - or even thought about it while he tried to figure out the correct answers in math class - so surely some people saw it, but nobody said anything, and it was a really fucking nice realization.

 

Mickey wanted to be married, and just leave it at that. He didn’t want to answer questions, or have people come up to him or some shit. In fact, he remembered one couple back home in Texas that had gotten married at seventeen - the chick had been pregnant of course, but still - and everyone had given them so much shit about it. Well - unless Mandy was exaggerating, at fifteen years old, Mickey had since long started skipping class, so he wouldn’t know first-hand, really.

 

By the time lunch rolled around, Mickey started packing his shit together, relived to have an hour off - it wasn’t who he used to be at all, but these days he was actually pretty determined to get at least decent grades and for someone who had missed - or skipped - such a massive amount of school, it was proving to be quite difficult. If he was lucky he would make it through with D’s, and maybe even a couple of C’s. A soft, relieved sigh escaped his lips and he curled his left hand around a couple of books, shoving them into his bag along with a pen and an eraser - why the fuck did people still use erasers? Shouldn’t the world have invented some kind of little machine or some shit by now?

 

“Michael” Mickey was just about to zip his bag up and stand when his teacher’s voice came from above him, and he looked up, raising his eyebrows. He may be working somewhat hard, but he preferred to do most of it in peace. In fact, if he could make it through several months without personally speaking to his teacher, he would gladly do so.

 

“Yeah?” He answered anyway, standing up and facing her. She wasn’t all too bad - there were worse teachers around school, but that was just what she was to him, and quite frankly - the classroom was emptying out quickly and he was anxious to meet up with his friends and husband for a little bit.

 

“I just wanted to say congratulations, I can see that you’re working hard, and you’re improving a lot.” The middle-aged woman said, holding a few books to her chest. There it was - that fucking look. The one that a lot of teacher gave both Mickey and Mandy - Mickey doubted that they knew the history of their lives or some shit, but surely they knew that they were emancipated and had grown up some place else - teenagers typically didn’t get emancipated for no reason, so obviously most teachers seemed to assume the worst. Alcohol, abuse, all of that shit - which wasn’t far off at all, but Mickey fucking hated pity. He just wanted to live his life and go about his own thing, he didn’t need adults to look out for him. That was kind of what ‘emancipated’ was.

 

“Alright, good” Mickey shrugged, turning, on his way to walking out, but she called him back again. “Yeah?” The teacher looked down to his ring finger, smiling warmly.

 

“Congratulations on that, too”

 

  
***

 

  
After that - sort of really fucking awkward - exchange, Mickey exited the classroom and dumped his bag into his locker before he continued through the hallway, walking towards the door, heading towards the football court, because they all ate lunch by the bleachers once in a while. It wasn’t as if the teacher had been rude - Mickey was just really fucking uncomfortable with her saying anything at all, and in fact, he was uncomfortable with anyone he didn’t know well commenting on anything about him. It was just… he just liked having a wall around him, choosing who could find out what. Though, while he would never take the wedding ring off in a million years, it was obvious that he was married, and thanks to his age, it was obvious that people were going to comment on it. He supposed he would just have to get used to it, he didn’t have all that much of a choice at all.

 

Ian, Mandy, Scooter and Sabrina’s classes all ended about ten minutes before Mickey’s did, so they were already sitting in the middle of the bleachers, chewing food, swallowing coke and talking about something or other than Mickey didn’t really give a shit about. When Ian saw him walking over, his face just about lighted up, a large smile on his face, and Mickey had to fight not to mimic the expression. Ian stood up, wrapping an arm around his husband’s waist as soon as he was close enough.

 

“Hey, babe” Mickey immediately closed his eyes and parted his lips, accepting the kiss. Granted that petnames nor public displays of affection was his thing whatsoever - they were fucking newlyweds so he couldn’t bring himself to say no. It just felt really fucking good to have this.

 

“Yo, there’s some crazy ass rumor going around that you’re married” Three of the guys from Ian’s team stumbled closer to the group of friends, one of them laughing out the words, quite obviously not believing it for one single second - and Mickey couldn’t fucking blame him. A tiny part of Mickey wanted to laugh along and deny it - not because he was embarrassed, but because he kind of liked it being ‘their thing’. Something only the two of them knew - and their siblings and closest friends, obviously. But Mickey knew that that wasn’t fair to Ian, so instead he didn’t say anything, and Ian’s arm stayed wrapped around his waist when he lifted his left hand to show them the wedding band.

 

“It’s not just a rumor, Gabe” The guy - Gabe, apparently - snorted, some uncomfortableness developing in the pit of Mickey’s stomach. Fuck, did they have to do this now? He had barley gotten used to the idea of being married himself. It wasn’t Ian’s fault, he just… no, no, no. Not now. Mickey didn’t want to hear anybody else’s opinion on this shit, it wasn’t worth it. Ian had wanted to marry Mickey. Mickey had wanted to marry Ian. They had gotten married - that should be all that mattered, at all.

 

“Married in high school” Gabe laughed, the other two guys joining him. “Like that will last” It wasn’t as if Mickey would let some punk’s comment get him down, or make him re-think this - Ian would always be what he wanted. But that didn’t mean that those eight words didn’t echo a little bit inside of his mind for the rest of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much for all of the comments on the last chapter, I feel so much better now. And I love all of you for sticking around! <3 <3 <3 
> 
> I also am just giving you a heads up that I probably won't be updating this a ton in the next few weeks (or REHAB either, for those of you who read that) I'm starting my big bang entry tomorrow, and I think it's one of those things where I'll have to kind of surround myself by that universe to make it authentic if that makes any sense. It won't end up as good if I stop like every other day to jump to another story, it will just be a mess. I want to stay in that mindset for the most part. Especially since it's kind of a type of story that I'm not used to writing at all. Once in a while I'll probably need a break and I'll come back to this and update it, but for the most part I'm going on a mini break, just to get further along on my big bang, because I'm guessing it will end up very long as well. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope that you all will have an amazing day!! <3


	17. Doubts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Because no one fucking believes that this is gonna work out, Ian” Mickey said truthfully, looking at him. “No one believes that we’re not gonna be bitter exes in a year, they all make great fucking points, and no one believes that this is gonna last. Alright? At all, and I - “
> 
> “Hey, hey, hey” Ian whispered once Mickey’s voice started growing even louder, his tone somewhat angry, upset. Ian moved forwards, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, not giving a shit if his husband didn’t want it right now. He pulled him to his chest, feeling Mickey only fight for a moment before he leaned his cheek on his clothed chest, struggling to keep his tears in. “I believe it”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Completely unedited*

Interestingly enough - after the first few days back at school as a married couple, which were in fact a little bit awkward - things started going back to normal. People had their own shit to deal with, and most likely did not in fact see the point in continuing to ask about Ian and Mickey’s unusual decision to get married this young. And the few weeks after the wedding, they were good for the most part. Not much changed once they got used to the idea of this, honestly - they still had school, homework, families.

 

Ian lived with Mickey and Mandy now, of course, despite the fact that nobody had ever stated anything out loud, all of his stuff were there and it was a quite obvious thing. As they got further and further into fall, Ian and Mickey became more and more known as ‘that stable married couple’ and honestly? It didn’t bother Mickey all that much, because that’s what they were. In fact, he kind of liked being thought about like that, maybe because nothing in his life had never been anything close to steady or stable in the past.

 

So no - being thought of as the ‘old’ married couple, it didn’t bother Mickey. Even less did it bother Ian, from what he could tell. But of course - they got other comments as well. Though they were fewer and a lot further in between - each and every time that someone came up to the two of them and said something snarky about all of this, they fought not to lose their temper.

 

Not just Mickey, but Ian as well. This had been their decision, it was their thing. It didn’t go with society’s frame that everybody seemed to go after, whether they realized it or not, but either way - Ian and Mickey were happy with this. The times when people felt the need to say shit about it - it just kind of sucked. And each time Mickey would try not to get upset, and Ian would get angry - or both of them would become all of it, and it was just a complete and utter mess.

 

Honestly? Ian was kind of surprised that it didn’t seem to bother Mickey really all that much. Sure, it bothered him, he could tell. But not to the point where he brought it up with Ian, and not to the point where he didn’t let him hold him at night. No matter the small bumps and comments they were forced to go through now, they stayed somewhat strong.

 

Surely they would have to face bigger things later on in life, but for now these were the things that could possibly shake them, but they didn’t. Ian had to admit he loved it. Loved that it was them together now - completely. Every single night, they went to bed together. Sometimes Ian held Mickey, sometimes Mickey held Ian. Ian would whisper how much his husband meant to him, and sometimes Mickey would even muster up the courage and strength to say all that shit back in the privacy of their own, dark bedroom.

 

So overall - yes. For now, things were alright.

 

Although - despite the fact that Ian didn’t want to bring it up at all - Mickey had been a lot more quiet lately. He wasn’t at all different when they were alone, he was happy, affectionate, he was the same guy that Ian had fallen in love with from the very beginning. But at times like this one - when they were sitting at the top of the bleachers with their lunches, together with Scooter, Sabrina and Mandy - Mickey didn’t say all that much.

 

Not that he had ever really been a person who was much for conversation, but it was enough of a difference that Ian noticed, and he knew that Mandy had noticed it as well. It wasn’t big enough of a problem for Ian to bring it up, but once in a while it caught his mind.

 

Ian chewed the last piece of his sandwich a couple of more times before swallowing, tilting his head upwards just to look at the sky for a moment; it wasn’t very blue today, more grey than anything else. But it didn’t feel as if it was going to rain anytime soon - maybe tomorrow or something. Mickey was right beside him, the rest of their small group of friends littered around him. It was a good day in his opinion, it felt like a good day.

 

“Excuse me” Ian closed his eyes - he knew that tone by now; he didn’t know the girls that had just walked up to him and Mickey, but he knew the tone. He had heard a hundred and one thousand times over in the past few weeks, and it had to be one of the most annoying things on planet earth. But Ian wasn’t a mean person, so he looked to them - two girls, a blonde and a brunet, maybe a year or two younger than he and Mickey were.

 

Mickey who was sitting next to him with raised eyebrows, staring at them as well - saying nothing. They didn’t dislike people who asked them about their marriage, but they got it a lot - well, once, twice a day felt like a lot at this point. They weren’t rude, and in comparison to what they had gotten in the beginning, things had - in fact - calmed down a lot. But in a way, Ian and Mickey also just wanted to live their damn lives. Man, Ian hoped he would never become legitimately famous.

 

“Yeah?” Ian asked, neutral. The smile on his face was nothing but a polite formality as he looked up at the girls, feeling his husband start to get annoyed by his side despite the fact that they hadn’t actually said anything yet. With every single time that someone came up to them and asked - whether they were judgemental or not - Ian could feel Mickey fall a little bit. Not that he was sad or anything, but he just found it repetitive, and he wasn’t alone in that.

 

Neither were they as a couple - because because of the fact that this whole thing was so unusual and so spread around school - however the hell anybody had allowed that to happen - people asked Mandy, Scooter and Sabrina on a daily basis as well. Ian knew their friends found it every bit as annoying as they did themselves, which was more than understandable. Of course no one told anybody off, it was rare that there was malice behind the questions, it was just the quantity that became annoying.

 

“Is it true that you two are married? Like for real?” The girls asked, laughing. Not out loud, but they had smiles on their faces, giggling - somehow it reminded Ian a little bit of the other jocks on his team that had made fun of them both when they had first gone back to school. They hadn’t gotten married for attention, they hadn’t gotten married to somehow become famous around school - Ian and Mickey had gotten married for themselves - because they had wanted to, no other reason. And honestly, they just wanted to live their married life together in peace.

 

One or two questions hadn’t bothered either of them - but now since they had gone back, it had to be at least a hundred, give or take and it was just a lot. Especially for Mickey who didn’t like people to begin with - Ian noticed this.

 

“Yeah, we’re married” Ian just said, holding his hand up quickly to show off the wedding ring before dropping his arm again, hand landing in his lap. He had hoped that the girls would have been alright with that, that they would have walked away and left all five of them alone - but they stayed, still giggling.

 

“Why would you do that? What if either of you find someone better?” Ian fought the urge to roll his eyes - Mickey didn’t. He stayed quiet, but the signs of him being completely and utterly done with this conversation were clear on his face.

 

This was enough. And what the ever loving fuck did they mean by ‘better?’ Ian doubted that Mickey would ever feel that he wasn’t good enough, and he knew for absolute sure that he would never trade Mickey for some random, other douchebag that didn’t have shit on him. That certainty was a part of why they had gotten married in the very first place, quite obviously. Ian opened his mouth, ready to shoot back, but Mickey stood up, dragging his attention to his husband instead.

 

“Look, I’m sick of this place, I’m gonna skip out on the rest of the day, alright?” The slightly older teenager was looking down at Ian, completely ignoring the other girls, and for good reason. Ian frowned, looking up at him, but nodded - he didn’t want to ask if it was because of them. Maybe it was and maybe it wasn’t; Mickey was anything but an extrovert, it was understandable if he was getting beyond frustrated with these people, whether they meant harm or not.

 

“Alright, babe. See you at home?” Was all Ian said; he was well aware that the petname along with the domestic ‘see you at home’ might not be something that Mickey was way too fond of, but it had just slipped out - high school or not, they were a married couple, it was bound to happen. And he didn’t believe that Mickey would spent time being angry with him right now.

 

“You want me to go with you?” Mandy asked from a few feet away where she sat, facing Sabrina as they talked about some random movie that they both wanted to see. Mickey shook his head, though, picking his bag up and slinging it over his shoulder before crossing his arms.

 

“Nah, I’m fine. See you” With that, Mickey walked away and Ian looked after him for a bit. He wasn’t very worried - Mickey had those moment where he just needed to be alone, and Ian knew that, so he rarely pushed when he sensed it. He supposed everyone were like that once in a while - though his moments were fewer and further in between than his husband’s. The girls had walked away as well in the middle of it all, leaving the friends group alone, so Ian turned his head, looking to Mandy, who just shrugged, assuring him that he shouldn’t be worrying about it at all.

 

  
***

 

  
Mickey stared down at his shoes, watching them take the pavement step by step as he walked back towards the apartment. Skipping school was all but the smartest thing to do right now, if he wanted to get into a good college at some point or whatever, but in the moment, he didn’t really give a shit. He just needed to get away. It wasn’t that he regretted getting married - hell no, their life together would be amazing in a year, in fact it already was.

 

When they were alone, that was. Or with their friends. Things were good. But people asking, people wanting to know, people judging, people wondering - it just became a lot. Sure, it had calmed down a great deal from when they had first announced it. Well - announced it was an exaggeration - since people had started figuring it out was a better way to word it.

 

Mickey would never want to hide something like this - it would feel wrong, not to mention he would never put Ian through some stupid charade like that. In fact, Mickey wasn’t sure exactly why all of this attention bothered him - it just did, and he couldn’t really help that fact all too much.

 

Mickey loved his life - honestly. He did. At least more than he ever had before. It had all gone way too fast, really. Meeting Ian, losing his virginity, falling in love - fucking getting married and shit. It was a lot.

 

And looking back, it was as if he had sped through some kind of movie. But on the nights that he spend curled up next to Ian, and the ones that they spent on the couch together with their friends, just eating chinese food and watching shitty ass horror movies, Ian’s arm wrapped around his waist, their wedding bands touching - those were amazing nights.

 

Mickey wouldn’t change those parts of his life for anything. The one thing that Mickey would, in fact change, though - was of course the kids at school. He knew they rarely meant anything by it, but… he took it that way. Especially when they laughed like those two girls had laughed. It just kind of sucked.

 

The reason it sucked wasn’t just because it interrupted their lunch, or after-school makeout session, or their friend group conversations in the stairwell - it was because each time that Mickey was reminded of how ridiculous this all looked, how people didn’t believe that it would last even until after college - it was as if there was some kind of voice in his own head agreeing with them.

 

Mickey knew that he shouldn’t listen, he knew that it was mindless blabber, that they didn’t know shit - he didn't even know their names and maybe some of them didn’t even know his and Ian’s. But… it sucked. Like someone poking his shoulder, saying ‘Yeah, yeah. Enjoy it now, in ten years, Ian is gonna be married to a gorgeous billionaire and have three kids’.

 

Alright - that was an exaggeration, but Mickey’s point stood. That was kind of how he felt, and he wasn’t all too sure how to stop thinking like that.

 

Mickey would love to ignore it, when people came up to them and asked, he would love to be able to just grab Ian’s hand and pull himself closer and answer that yes, indeed and they legitimately married, and yes - they were happier than ever together, and no, it wouldn’t end in divorce. At least not anytime soon at all. But that was who Ian was - that wasn’t who Mickey was, it wasn’t who he had ever been, and it wasn’t who he was ever going to be. Mickey was either the quiet guy or the angry guy, unless he was with someone that he knew well.

 

With Ian - as well as Mandy and Scooter and Sabrina - he could joke quite a bit. He could laugh and smile and feel comfortable. Happy. Safe. He couldn’t put his finger on why exactly all of the confidence in his and Ian’s marriage just seemed to shake whenever people laughed at it. When people made it known exactly how ridiculous they found it.

 

Not when someone just simply asked - that was fine. Mickey didn’t like it, but it was fine. But some of Ian’s jocks, and people like those girls - they laughed. Some people said that they were sure it wouldn’t last. Mickey shook his head a little bit, biting the inside of his cheek as he looked down onto the ground, bringing his right hand up to his eyes and pushing his glasses further up.

 

He felt stupid for letting random people affect his mood - it was unnecessary, and he was letting them win and all that bullshit. He just couldn’t help it. Not for the life of him, as much as he would like to be able to put his middle finger up and just pull Ian closer. It seemed impossible for him, and even worse he didn’t feel as if he could talk to Ian about it - not because he didn’t trust him or some shit, but because Mickey had always kind of been the strong guy, giving in to some comments made him feel incredibly weak.

 

 

  
***

 

  
Ian spent the rest of the day as usual. Going to classes, spending time with his friends - some of which had made fun of him and Mickey in the beginning, but a few days into the first week, he had told them off and now they were actually quite decent about it - not that it was brought up a ton. He didn’t spend all too much time thinking about Mickey - he was a grown man, he could take care of himself.

 

Still - he was his husband, and what kind of guy would he be if he didn’t at least make some kind of contact after he had seen that Mickey was clearly upset earlier? Before Ian entered his second to last class, he just sent off a quick text message, telling him that he loved him. It wasn’t more than three words, mostly because Ian didn’t have too much time, but also he knew that Mickey would find it incredibly annoying, were he to ask if he was okay.

 

After that, Ian put his phone away and went into the class, not spending any more time thinking about Mickey.

 

  
***

 

  
That was - of course - until Ian walked out of his last class that day, and he still hadn’t gotten an answer. He wasn’t all that worried, Mickey could be doing anything. He could be showering, or napping or he could be at the alibi - but these things had happened once or twice before.

 

Someone said something about their marriage, and Mickey got upset and disappeared for a while - Ian knew that he didn’t regret it or whatever, but he got more annoyed with people than Ian did himself, and maybe that was alright. They were far from the same person after all, and while Ian could shake things off pretty easily, Mickey just wasn’t that kind of person, even if he seemed to try. Ian’s husband was tougher than him in a lot of ways, but he was insecure in some areas as well.

 

So once Ian was free to leave school without any work left to complete that day, he walked up to his locker, dumping most of his textbooks and pens inside, not bothering to look at what he should bring home and what he should leave behind. Instead he just left everything behind, deciding that it couldn’t do any harm to have one night off - besides, he knew that when he got home he would most likely find Mickey on the couch with a beer, watching either some slasher movie or an old re-run of south park, sulking - so in Ian’s opinion, cheering him up was more important than doing homework that could wait.

 

Mickey would easily have done the exact same thing for him, had it been the other way around. That was one of the reasons why this whole thing wasn’t as crazy as most people made it out to be - because most high school relationships were built up off of clothed - and unclothed - makeout sessions, hanging out with friends, drinking, partying - and while Ian and Mickey did those things - well, most of those things, like hell Ian would ever be successful in dragging Mickey to another party, he had tried - there were more stuff to them as well, they cared about each other, more than Ian had honestly seen adults couple care for one another.

 

Once Ian had put all of the things he didn’t need - or didn’t want to need at the moment - into his locker, he swung his light book bag over his shoulder, closing the blue door with a familiar noise as the one next to him opened, the hallway filling up with more and more kids by the minute. He turned around and looked, seeing if he spotted any of his friends, but all he caught was Scooter and Sabrina’s backs, walking out of the building, and Mandy was nowhere to be seen, so Ian decided he would just go home.

 

As he walked, though - along the hallway and out onto the stone stairs, a few steps along the sidewalk leading away from the large school building, he was starting to realize that he wanted to do something.

 

Ian looked down at his shoes absentmindedly, thinking. It would be kind of cool if he could do something for Mickey to cheer him up - sure, he could go home and hug him and watch his favorite movie, but surely there was something else he could do, some kind of gesture other than words and affection. Without the thought even being completely passed through Ian’s brain and decided, his feet turned a right at the street-corner, heading towards the liquor store where he knew they sold his husband’s favorite beer. That was about as fancy as they got, and he knew that it meant a lot to Mickey anyway.

 

The cars drove along the streets, kids quitting school, parents getting off work - the sound reminded Ian of the fact that he and Mickey - and Mandy, for that matter, she still lived with them, of course - still walked everywhere.

 

They really didn’t have a car, much less money for one. Once in a while Ian would take Fiona’s, but she needed it a lot, and Scooter’s was way too old. Ian didn’t want to risk being stranded on the side of the road. A car. That was definitely something that they should be saving up for so that they could find a way to buy one once high school was over. Or before - but they would need to save up for a while, so that wasn’t very realistic.

 

As soon as Ian entered the store, he walked up to the beer that was a few bucks more expensive than the one they had at home, picking up a six pack and then putting it onto the counter, throwing his fake ID right beside it. Without trouble he paid and walked out, happier now than he had been a couple of hours ago. Ian was happy that classes were over for today, and he could go home to his husband and hopefully see his face light up - at least a little bit - when he realized that Ian had bought his favorite beer.

 

Maybe Ian would even sit through one of his horrendous favorite movies - it was a good night. Ian wouldn't always go out of his way to cheer Mickey up - or the other way around, for that matter - they had their own shit to deal with. But once in a while, it was a fun thing to do.

 

Ian’s large hand was holding onto the cardboard handle as he walked, getting closer and closer to the apartment but he wasn’t in much of a rush.

 

It didn’t take much longer than fifteen, twenty minutes before Ian started to walk up the skinny stone staircase that led up to the doors, one of them opening to his and Mickey’s home. The sun was still up in the sky, really it wasn’t all that late yet whatsoever, but for some reason, it kind of felt like it. Ian honestly just wanted to walk inside and drink beer with his husband and not leave the apartment for the rest of the night. Partly because he knew Mickey had been upset earlier and he wanted to make him happy again - but also because there was a ton of shit to do at school right now, and Ian was really tired, he just wanted to forget about it until tomorrow.

 

Ian lifted his right hand, rubbing lazily across the scalp, feeling the short, red hairs having grown out a tiny, tiny bit since he had promised Mickey he wouldn’t completely shave everything off again. His steps were heavy but silent on the solid stone, and finally he reached the front door, seeing that it was locked, so he fished his key out of his pocket, sliding it into the keyhole and smoothly opening the door. He had expected to be greeted by a somewhat bummed husband on the couch, and the murmur of a television, but instead everything was strangely quiet. Ian’s eyebrows furrowed as he turned, pushing the front door closed and locking it easily. He turned once again to face the inside of the apartment, and that’s when he spotted him.

 

Mickey was sitting at the edge of the couch, hand softly curled around a beer as he furiously wiped his face, trying to get rid of any kind of evidence that he had been upset - he hadn’t been sobbing, in fact, someone who didn’t know him probably wouldn’t have been able to tell that he had been crying whatsoever - but Ian did. He did know him, and his confused frown grew into sadness as he put the six-pack down onto the floor, taking the few, easy steps over to the couch and sitting down, facing the armrest.

 

“Mick, baby, what’s wrong?” Mickey wasn’t at all the kind of person to cry a lot - nor was he the kind of person to be into a lot of petnames, but it calmed Ian down to be able to call him that, he wasn’t all too sure why, though. Mickey swallowed visibly, looking down into his lap as he shook his head.

 

“It’s fucking stupid, man. It’s nothing.” Ian tilted his head to the side - he had been aware that people’s questions and opinions at school had bothered Mickey - honestly, it was probably mostly because they poured gasoline on the small, tiny flames of doubt that was still within him alone - but not to this degree. Not so that he had to leave school and go home and cry. Something turned inside of Ian - it was what happened when Mickey wasn’t happy, when he was angry, or sad, or bothered - Ian could feel it too. It wasn’t magic or physical connection or something. It was much simpler than that - it was love. When Mickey cried, Ian cried, when Ian smiled, Mickey smiled.

 

“Mick” Ian said again. Maybe it was a bad decision to push, maybe it was a good one - Ian couldn’t know, because honestly? Mickey didn’t cry a lot. Ian wasn’t even sure if he had seen him do it before. Maybe once or twice. And because of the rarity of the situation, Ian didn’t know how the hell to handle it, really. He, himself - wanted attention and affection when he was sad, but he knew that Sabrina just wanted to be left alone - people were different.

 

“Starting to think this whole marriage thing was a fucking mistake” Mickey mumbled bitterly, shaking his head as he looked out over the room, avoiding Ian’s eyes. Ian didn’t take offence - not at all, honestly. Sure, he fully believed Mickey was wrong - this was a good decision, they had done the right thing, they loved each other. But he also supposed that he understood Mickey’s thought-trail. Ian didn’t even know what to do when Mickey was crying - and they were married. No doubt they didn’t know each other half as well as most married couples did.

 

“Wasn’t a mistake, babe. We’re good” Ian tried, hands twitching to reach for Mickey, but he kept himself from it. He had somewhat of a feeling that it wasn’t the right time right now. Ian sitting here and taking to him might be enough, physical affection could easily make Mickey throw a couple of curse words his way and then walk into their room instead - maybe Ian hadn’t seen him cry, but he had seen him upset more than a few times, it was a fine line between pushing and supporting - Ian was the same way, so he guessed that that was the tactic he should take with this. He was learning, he realized. He was still getting to know Mickey. And he quite liked that idea of it all.

 

“Yeah?” Mickey wiped one small new tear off of his cheek, looking into Ian’s eyes. Mickey didn’t know how to explain this - not in the slightest bit. He loved Ian so fucking much, he loved their rings, and he loved their life for the most part. He loved the moments they had alone, he loved this apartment, and he loved being able to call Ian his husband.

 

But… what he was afraid of was it all breaking. In a year, or five, or yen - or fucking fifty years. At the moment, Mickey just felt as if they should have waited. Maybe getting married this young, feeling this tied down to each other - even if it was what they wanted right now - maybe that would cause a strain, and maybe that would lead to them, not - in fact - lasting as long as they wished that they would.

 

Maybe they should have gotten engaged, and waited. Gone through college, and whatever - then actually officially gotten married once they had degrees, and jobs, and a decent apartment that Mickey’s sister didn’t share with them - not that he wanted to live away from her right now, he didn’t. They had been through too much shit in the past few years for him not to want to be attached to her hip, and the other way around, even if they wouldn’t admit it.

 

“Because no one fucking believes that this is gonna work out, Ian” Mickey said truthfully, looking at him. “No one believes that we’re not gonna be bitter exes in a year, they all make great fucking points, and no one believes that this is gonna last. Alright? At all, and I - “

 

“Hey, hey, hey” Ian whispered once Mickey’s voice started growing even louder, his tone somewhat angry, upset. Ian moved forwards, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, not giving a shit if his husband didn’t want it right now. He pulled him to his chest, feeling Mickey only fight for a moment before he leaned his cheek on his clothed chest, struggling to keep his tears in. “I believe it” Ian promised, leaning his chin on top of the black hair that he loved so much. Ian understood Mickey’s concerns, Mickey didn’t have to voice them. But Ian also knew that he wanted this to last - and Mickey wanted it to last. They didn’t need magic, or anything - they just needed to remember how much they loved each other. “I do”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to get back to my big bang now, I've been procrastinating for long enough smh. 
> 
> <3


	18. Thunder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiona was silent for a short beat, and then her tongue swiped across her bottom lip, and she appeared as if she was fighting the urge to roll her eyes. “You love him, he loves you, what’s the problem?” She asked, sounding almost exasperated, then she calmed down a little bit, shrugging once. “You ask me, what’s gonna break you in the end is worrying about what’s gonna break you”

The weather was slightly more grey now than it had been in the past couple of days; the clouds above Ian’s head were painted a dark shade, carrying the promise of rain with them all; possibly even a storm. The strap of his bookbag felt heavy over his shoulder while he walked along the sidewalk, the thin, mint green v neck starting to become a little bit too little to keep him warm in the wind that was just now starting up, creating small goosebumps on his arm. He had a jacket pushed down into his bag, but there was no point in putting it on, seeing as he would be inside in a minute or two anyway.

 

The dark blue jeans were tight around his legs; not rockstar tight, but enough that he was able to feel the chilly fabric against his legs; the weather had cooled the denim down, and he was starting to feel the small tinge of the cold on the tip of his nose, knowing that it was probably a slight shade pinker than it normally was - along with his cheeks. His pale arms hung somewhat limply by his sides, relaxed, the freckly fingers a little bit bent, the chilly weather translating into his fingertips as well; not all too much, but enough that it registered inside of his mind.

 

The old, black chucks - that had surely had some point in time belonged to Lip - were laced tightly, possibly creating small, shallow dents on top of his feet. The white rubber along the side and over the toe area was so worn out that few people would even call it white anymore; it was scratched up and worn out, now more of a greyish color than anything else - along with the shoelaces, for that matter.

 

The green t shirt was maybe half a size too large for Ian’s body, creating a little bit of room for the fabric to move around as the wind picked up slightly, the deep v shape of the neckline moving around somewhat. The strap of the bookbag was a little bit longer than what was comfortable, making the bag bounce against the outside of his thigh every once in a while or so, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to sit down and shorten it; he just couldn’t be bothered.

 

The red hair on top of his head had grown out quite a bit now; it wasn’t long by any means, really - but it was a far cry from a buzzcut, and Ian had to admit that he wasn’t hating it. Really, the only reason that he had constantly let Fiona buzz it off over and over again was because of the heat, and the heat wasn’t really around anymore, so it didn’t matter. The fact that it was easy and he didn’t have to worry about how it looked also contributed to it, of course, but it was still quite short, so Ian still didn’t have to care. And for that matter - he doubted that he would care even when it did grow out some more. Mickey had always been the one to care about his hair and style it - Ian had never quite seen the point when it came to himself.

 

Ian’s feet carried him up to the gate of the Gallagher house right in time for the small, dainty raindrops to start painting the light grey asphalt a deeper shade of black, one by one. It sped up quite quickly, and he curled his hand around the base of the strap to his bookbag, keeping it in place as he used his left hand to open the noisy gate, walking up through the small yard. He hadn’t even quite made it to the stairs before it was officially raining quite a bit - not pouring yet, but it was certainly getting there.

 

Ian lifted his feet, walking up the old, wooden stairs to get to the porch. The key to the front door was buried somewhere deep at the bottom of his bookbag, so Ian took a chance and curled his hand around the door handle, hoping that it would be open so that he wouldn’t have to dig through all of his books and old gym clothes. Thankfully; it was. Fiona was probably home for a bit now, in between shifts. Then again - in this neighborhood, it was stupid to leave a front door unlocked whatsoever, under any circumstances, but Ian doubted she had done it on purpose - and she wasn’t the only one to make that mistake, all of the Gallagher kids had at one point in time or another.

 

“Fi?” Ian called, hearing the rain pick up even a little bit more behind him right before he stepped inside and closed the door, leaving the shitty weather outside. A few drops were rolling down his face from his hair, and the light green color of his t shirt was somewhat spotted with small, dark green dots but for the most part, he had managed to escape the rain; and thankfully so because by the sounds of it, thunder was promising in the vast distance as well. “Fiona?” He called again, walking a few steps inside of the seemingly quiet house, slinging his bookbag off of his shoulder and throwing it onto the couch before continuing through and out into the kitchen, his wet shoes probably dragging some rainwater into the house, but at the moment he couldn’t bring himself to care all that much.

 

The large hand wrapped around the handle to the fridge, and he pulled it open, somewhat carelessly considering its contents. There was a couple of large cartons of juice - all of them most likely half drunken, if he knew his siblings right; and himself, too, for that matter. There was also a large about of coca cola, and beer. Some eggs. After a couple of seconds, he reached into the cold fridge, lifting out a green can of 7UP before letting the door fall closed again, him turning around at the exact right moment to see his older sister come walking down the stairs, her signature large smile stretched out over her lips, exposing every single one of her perfect straight teeth.

 

“Hey, I didn’t hear you come in” Fiona said, happiness coating her voice as she put the laundry basket down onto the floor and walked over to Ian, giving him a short, one armed hug. “What are you doing here?” At that, Ian just shrugged a little bit, opening the can of soda and taking a swallow of it; honestly he wasn’t sure how to answer that question. But then again - maybe he didn’t need much of a reason. He may be living with Mickey and Mandy now, and as happy as he was with that arrangement - and he was - it was nice to come back here a few times a week.

 

Ian was only still a teenager, after all. With an apartment, and a husband, and all of that sometimes he felt like more of an adult than he liked. He wouldn’t give it up for the world, but it did become too much once in a while, and it was comforting to get away, to see that everything was as it always had been in this house.

 

“Just figured I’d come back for a couple hours” Was all Ian decided to answer with, right before he lifted the green can back up to his lips, swallowing even another gulp of the sugary drink. “Everyone else still at school?” Ian’s class had been let go an hour or so early today, so it wouldn’t be all too strange, had that been the case. Fiona nodded in response, confirming that theory before she bent down, picking the white laundry basket back up off of the floor, walking over to the washing machine to start loading it all inside.

 

“Yeah” She said. “Well, Lip is probably at his girlfriend’s by now”

 

“Which one?” Ian asked with a slight chuckle, his hand still holding the can of soda. Lip was a good guy, he had always kind of been there for Ian in one way or another; growing up and dealing with issues and shit, Carl had always been too little - and Liam had of course been - so Lip and Ian had been the only guys in the family to help each other deal with it. Though - when it came to girls, he had always been terribly off track, Ian didn’t even know if he could possibly remember all of the times that he had screwed up in the past. And how badly he had screwed up, for that matter. He had done a lot of shit. The day that Ian’s older brother settled down with one girl and managed to be faithful to her - in Ian’s opinion - that was the day when hell decided to freeze over.

 

“I didn’t ask” Fiona said, smile apparent in her voice as she spun the dial, starting the washing machine. She then lifted the empty laundry basket back up, putting it on top of the machine before turning around to face her brother once again. “So are you really here just to say hi, or is there something bothering you?” Ian swallowed at the words, fighting back a sigh; for once he wished that Fiona didn’t know him as well as she did.

 

All she did at his obvious defeat was cross her arms, the sleeves of the thin, grey sweatshirt a little bit too long, covering her skinny fingers. The medium length of dark brown locks were pulled up into a half ponytail at the back of her head, a few strands falling out around her face. The large eyes looked tired; they had for a long time with all that she had to deal with, and a part of Ian didn’t want to put even more weight on her shoulders, but at the same time - there was in fact something that he might want to talk about.

 

He supposed that he could talk to Lip about it, but Lip had never liked Mickey, so any advice he would be getting from him would be complete unfair. And Mandy was too close to her brother, and Carl didn’t give a fuck; Ian wanted to put weight on Debbie’s shoulders even less than he wanted to put it on Fiona’s. He supposed that he could talk to Scooter or Sabrina, but they were just as close to Mickey and Mandy as they were to him at this point, and fuck knows how Mandy could bully the truth out of people, so in the very end - Fiona was Ian’s only shot.

 

“Sit down” Fiona spoke, nodding her head backwards a little bit right before she slowly started to walk towards the old, wooden staircase, sitting down on a few steps up and looking at Ian, waiting for him to come and join her; talk about whatever happened to be bothering him. Ian hesitated for a slight second; in his mind, maybe if he didn’t talk about his concerns, they would go away. But they had been there for quite a few days at this point, so he doubted that that was all that likely at this point. So in the end, he curled his hand around the cold can of soda, lifting it up to bring it with him as he took the few steps over the floor, sitting down next to his sister. “Now. What’s going on in that head of yours, huh?” Fiona quite immediately stole the drink of her brother’s hand, getting a sigh in response as she took a swallow out of the can.

 

Ian was silent for a beat; if he was being completely honest, he wasn’t all that sure how to explain. His head was kind of a mess at this point - not necessarily in a bad way, just… messy. He wasn’t even technically an adult yet, and he had a husband, so he supposed that in one way or another, that was to be expected. Getting married in high school wasn’t the normal thing to do - and maybe there was a reason why most people waited to at least after college.

 

“It’s just this whole marriage thing…” Was all Ian begun with, looking down at the kitchen floor, shrugging a little bit.

 

“You regret it?”

 

“No!” Ian shot his sister’s theory down before the last word had even completely passed her lips, his head shaking from side to side a time or two. “No, it’s not like that” Shit was complicated, shit was difficult, and yeah - maybe they should have waited another couple of years. But Ian could never actually regret marrying Mickey, not in a million years. He was in love with him, and it was difficult to imagine a day when he wouldn't be; despite the fact that it was just as likely for that day to come along as it was for it not to come along. But that didn’t change the fact that it was indeed - difficult.

 

“Then what’s wrong, huh? You seemed so confident about it all a while ago” Fiona pointed out, her face settles into some kind of a sad - or maybe concerned would be a better word - frown as she had her head turned, looking at her younger brother as he looked down onto the floor, trying to figure out how to explain. Truth be told - he wasn’t even sure himself what was wrong. He and Mickey were great; just last night they had spent several hours on the couch in each other’s arms, happier than ever. Their relationship was amazing. Privately; that was.

 

“Mick’s worried about what people are saying, I guess. Worried about shit not working out in the long run, and I…” Ian trailed off for a beat, shaking his head once again; how the hell was he supposed to say any of it out loud and make Fiona understand, when it was all even a little bit too messy for him to understand himself?

 

“You think he’s protecting those fears onto you?” Then again; of course Fiona knew Ian a little bit too well for his own good. Ian’s chest lifted up once, and then it fell as he took a deep breath, fighting the urge to just shrug; it was true, he realized as the rain continued slamming against the windows in the kitchen. It wasn’t as if it was something that he and Mickey talked about every single day, or anything like that, but of course on the somewhat rare occasions - like the other day - when Mickey let Ian onto his concerns… it just… It was becoming a little bit too difficult for Ian not to get caught up in it as well.

 

As much as they both wanted it to last, as much as Ian did - in fact - believe that it would, that they would end up making it in one way or another, that didn’t change the fact that they had a hard and a long road ahead of them before they would have a house with a white picket fence and kids and a fucking puppy. That was years and years up the road - if they would end up deciding on such a cliché life - damn near a decade and maybe even more than that. Ian kind of liked the thought of it, he supposed. But then came the voice inside of his head; the one saying; _’What about college?’ ‘What if he wants to stay here and you want to leave?’ ‘What if he wants to leave and you want to stay here?’ ‘What if you end up getting crushes on other people? Who knows what could possibly happen?’_

 

It was stupid, Ian knew that it was - it was a mess. Technically, he could ration it out like - they would end up figuring the college thing out somehow, and if one of them wanted to leave, then the other one would follow, or they would absolutely kill the long distance thing. And they were so in love at the moment that other people would never be an issue. So yes - Ian supposed that he did have answers to all of those questions, technically, but those answers didn’t shut up the voice inside of his head whispering them again and again and again, and he just felt incredibly -

 

“Ian?” Fiona caught his attention once again, making him frown and turn his head to look at her; that’s when he realized that he had been silent and inside of his own head for a couple of beats too long. He took another one, and then he just shrugged, looking away from her once again.

 

“Yeah” Was all he knew to say to the question that she had asked him previously; a part of him wanted to say that he didn’t know, wasn’t sure. Wanted to say _‘Maybe’_ or _‘I guess’_ but in the end, he was sure, so yes - Mickey’s fears had become his own, and it sucked. Not that he didn’t want to work on it, do everything that they both possibly could to make sure that it did last; not just for the next month or the next couple of years, but… yeah, forever. That’s what marriage was, that’s what they had promised each other when they had slipped those rings onto their fingers, and Ian really did want them to make it. But being that they were still young - even though Ian was quite confident, both in himself and in their relationship - it was kind of terrifying to think about. A few weeks ago, he hadn’t been very worried, but being around Mickey, and knowing that Mickey thought about it every once in a while, that kind pushed those fears onto him. He had started to realize that lately.

 

“Oh, what the fuck, Fi?” Ian cursed quite loudly, when a flat hand suddenly hit his temple; hard enough that there would surely be a slight bruise there tomorrow. “What?” He sighed, voice ragged as he brought his right hand up to his head, rubbing the area a little bit, turning his head to look at her. Fiona’s face was settled into a somewhat neutral expression; one that he couldn’t quite read to save his fucking life. After that punch, it was clear she was annoyed with him, though - she had been the one that had asked for him to talk, what had she thought? Fuck.

 

“You’re wasting time all your time worrying” Ian frowned as his sister’s words reached his ears, crossing his arms over his chest while he waited for her to continue speaking. Fiona was silent for a short beat, and then her tongue swiped across her bottom lip, and she appeared as if she was fighting the urge to roll her eyes. “You love him, he loves you, what’s the problem?” She asked, sounding almost exasperated, then she calmed down a little bit, shrugging once. “You ask me, what’s gonna break you in the end is worrying about what’s gonna break you”

 

  
***

 

  
Mickey walked along the hallway in the school, his heavy bookbag slung over his right shoulder, his shoes making some kind of a disgusting whining noise as he walked; by now the school was just about completely empty. That was, of course, save for the few people who were still around for the same reason that he was; fucking two and a half hours of detention for being caught looking on someone else’s paper for a test, what kind of shit. They had let him off the hook except for said detention, though, so he supposed he was lucky in that matter of things; they could have done a lot more. He could just feel himself falling behind in school a little bit - one of which was anyone else’s fault, it was all him. He had just had a lot on his mind lately, he would make sure to get it under control soon; it was important to him, after all.

 

The long sleeves of the thin, hunter green henley that sat on his upper body were a little bit too long for his arms, so he wrapped his right hand around his left wrist, pushing the fabric up to his elbow before switching hands and doing the same thing to the other sleeve. All three of the buttons were open on the neckline, mostly because Ian had opened them at home at some point just because he thought it looked hot, and Mickey hadn’t bothered to close them up again.

 

“What the fuck?” Mickey just about did a pit-stop right inside of the doors, groaning the three words as he watched the rain absolutely pour down over the city, the trees just about being thrown from side to side in the wind; he had had some kind of inkling that it wasn’t sunny - it hadn’t been anything in its family in the past few days at all, actually - but he hadn’t believed that he would be forced to walk through some kind of shit like this. He and Ian really fucking needed to figure out a way to save up some money for a car - maybe he could get Mandy in on it, too. No doubt they would end up in a constant feud about who got it when, but anything was better than having to walk block after block to get home, no matter what weather was outside. God fucking damn it.

 

Mickey sighed, groaning once more deep in his throat, wishing that he was wearing a hoodie so that his hair wouldn’t have to get absolutely and completely fucked up. There wasn’t anything he could possibly do about it at the moment, though, so he braced himself for another second, hearing the thunder promising in the far distance, and then he reached out, pushing the glass door open and walking outside onto the stone steps. There was still some roof protecting him, but he could immediately feel the wind and the chilliness of the air, every single hair on his body standing up in protest.

 

“Fucking hell” He cursed to himself once more before biting his bottom lip and taking one of the steps at a time, making sure not to slip on the smooth surface. Then he started walking - quite a little bit faster than he normally would - the strap of his heavy bookbag cutting into the skin of his neck uncomfortably. Fuck, he couldn’t wait to get home; rain may not be that big of a deal to him, but this wasn’t just rain, this was a fucking rainstorm. And he was outside having to walk through it; yes, he was bitter.

 

Mickey shook his head a little bit, dipping it and looking down onto the ground in a small effort to keep his glasses from being completely soaked, his vision blocked, but it wasn’t doing all that much good, because it was too late. His feet continued moving across the street and over the sidewalk as he cursed quietly to himself once more; his shirt was completely and utterly soaked at this point, sticking to the skin of his body like glue or some shit - his jeans were soaked too, along with his shoes, and probably his bag as well. The walk home wasn’t a long one, but it still fucking sucked.

 

For a second, Mickey’s hand twitched up towards his temple to take his glasses off and wipe them, but then he realized that it literally wouldn’t do anything seeing as he didn’t have anything dry to wipe them off with whatsoever. Thank fuck he knew this walk like the back of his hand; he didn’t have to see all that much to get back home. He did lift his hand up to his nose, though, pushing the glasses further up to make sure that they wouldn’t fall, then he ran his fingers through his hair, figuring that all of the product was long gone now anyway. The strands laid back over the top of his head, smoothed back, none of it falling into his face anymore.

 

Soon, Mickey felt his shoes become soaked enough that maybe he could even hear the water sloshing as he walked, and he fought the urge to roll his eyes - partly at himself and partly at the fucking school, because if he hadn’t gotten detention, then he would have been home by now, when this whole storm had started. Fucking watching movies and eating hot pockets in Ian’s lap; that sounded so much better than literally suffering through this shit block after block.

 

His arms hung somewhat relaxed by his sides, his book bag once or twice bumping against his hip as he walked, his entire body feeling ten times heavier than it normally did, thanks to all of the massive amounts of rainwater that his clothes had soaked up and it didn’t seem to be letting up any time soon; in fact, he was quite sure that he could hear the thunder picking up even more, traveling closer. He still couldn’t see a ton being that the raindrops were covering his glasses completely, almost making him think he would see better without them at this point, though that was a stretch.

 

Mickey sighed, continuing to walk through the pouring rain, cars driving by every once in a while and throwing up a bunch of water onto the sidewalk - most of it thankfully missing Mickey by quite a few feet. He continued looking down onto the ground, shielding his face to the best of his abilities until he fucking finally made it back to the apartment. He curled his right hand around the metal bar, pulling himself up as he took the cement steps one by one, struggling because of how heavy he felt. The weather was still not showing any kinds of signs of slowing down, but Mickey was just fucking happy to be back home. He walked past the three doors that led to their neighbours apartments before reaching his own, opening it and walking straight in, knowing that it wouldn’t be locked seeing as Mandy was already home.

 

“Where have you been?” Her voice immediately asked him from the couch as he turned around and closed the door, not bothering to lock it now either. Finally he felt the warmth of the apartment cover his skin along with he absence of the rain; man, that had been damn near hell. Right as he let his soaked bookbag fall to the carpet flooring, he heard the loud smack in the near distance, letting them all know that the storm was only getting worse.

 

“Detention” He said somewhat absentmindedly.

 

“Better hope your husband’s back soon, ‘cause this storm is worse than anything we’ve had in years” Mandy said, holding her half-eaten hot pocket in her hand where she sat on the couch with her feet thrown up onto the coffee table. The dark hair was pulled up into a ponytail at the back of her head, dry since she had managed to escape the storm within just a few minutes. She was looking up into the ceiling, almost as if she was listening for the next loud bang, waiting. Mickey was silent for a short beat, listening as well.

 

Then he just hummed, stalking straight into his and Ian’s bedroom to change his clothes. He left the door half open, mindlessly searching the floor for something to throw onto his cold body at the same time as he shed the pieces of fabric that stuck like glue. They made wet noises as they hit the floor; he couldn’t be bothered to hang his shirt up, nor his jeans. Thankfully his boxers were still somewhat dry enough that he didn’t see much of a reason to change them; all he did was find a black henley on the floor - thankful that it happened to belong to Ian since it would be a larger fit and keep him a little bit warmer.

 

Mickey lifted it up, throwing it over his head and pushing the sleeves back up to his elbows again. It crossed his mind to just not bother with pants, but he soon realized that the hellish weather had left his legs a little bit too cold for that, so he looked around the floor some more - maybe they should both force themselves to be a little bit more neat seeing as they literally had every single piece of clothing they owned spread out over the floor and not a single t shirt in the closet, but for now it worked out, maybe they would grow up at some point. He found a pair of his own grey sweatpants tucked in underneath the bed, and he stepped into them, pulling them over his hips before turning straight around and heading into the bathroom.

 

Mickey quickly grabbed the small towel that hung over the shower rod, rubbing it over the black strands of hair on top of his head, making sure that they didn’t drip anything. Then he threw it back over, picking the glasses off of his face as he walked out into the bedroom again, quickly using his shirt to wipe them free of any water, freeing his vision once again.

 

By the time he re-entered the livingroom, both Ian and Mandy were sitting on the couch, some loud, obnoxious ass cartoon playing on the large television as the rain continued slamming against the window, forcing them to turn it up higher than they would have needed to otherwise.

 

“How the fuck aren’t you soaked, man?” Mickey asked his husband, noting that no more than a mere few strands of the red hair had been hit by the rainwater.

 

“Went over to the house after school, Fiona drove me back” Ian turned his head slightly to answer the question, and then he looked back to the television screen. “Made some more hot pockets” He said then, and Mickey walked across the livingroom, heading around the couch.

 

“Thanks” He mumbled, reaching down to the plate that was standing in the middle of the coffee-table, grabbing one of them and immediately taking a bite; before he could even really react all that much, Ian had his long arms wrapped around his waist, tugging him down into his lap, chest pressed against his back. “What the fuck, man?” Of course he couldn’t possibly hide his grin, though. It felt too good, even simple things like that.

 

Ian hummed, pressing his nose into the skin behind his husband’s ear, breathing him in. He had to admit that Fiona’s words had gotten to him quite a bit; he had never really thought of it like that. Like they’re wasting time by worrying. Now it seemed kind of simple, actually. It was true, he supposed.

 

“I missed you” He mumbled, pressing a kiss to the back of Mickey’s neck before loosening his grip around his waist, allowing him to move to sit beside him instead - if it could even be called that, that was because they were still kind of on top of each other, wanting to be close.

 

“Missed you” Mickey said back, giving Ian’s lips a quick peck before turning his attention back to his food and the shitty ass cartoons, the storm outside still raging on.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK BITCHES. YALL MISS ME? (literally no one knows that reference except for me, i'm a loser, bye)


	19. Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mandy had since long taken her cap and gown off, and both items laid beside her on the bench as she sat outside of the school, her feet pulled up onto the wood as well, arms closed around her legs, holding herself. She wasn’t sad or anything like that, it was more as if she needed a minute to absorb all of this. Today she had graduated - Mickey and Ian, and Scooter and Sabrina too, for that matter. But mainly what was shocking to her was the fact that she and her brother had… made it. Somehow.

  
“I’m freaking the fuck out, I can’t do this shit” Mickey complained, standing inside of their bedroom, nervously looking himself in the mirror for way longer than he ever had in the past; not because he had suddenly up and become the most overly confident person in the world - though he was aware of the fact that he didn’t look bad - but because in the few hours, he would be doing one of the most nerve-wracking things that he had ever been asked to do in the entire duration of his pathetic life, god fucking damn it.

“You’re gonna do amazing” Ian assured him from the other room.

Mickey wasn’t a person to get nervous - mostly because he made sure not to put himself in situations where that would happen. In fact, he could only remember a few instances in his entire life where he had been full on, bone shakingly nervous.

 

  
***

 

  
_Mickey blinked every once in a while, watching the tip of the knife enter the wood over and over again; his pale hand was curled around the handle, telling it where to go. He wasn’t all too sure what shapes he was creating in the white, distressed doorframe, or if he was even creating any kind of specific ones at all. There was just not much else to do at the moment; his sister was asleep and the electricity had been out for the past week or so; most likely due to the fact that his father hadn’t bothered to pay any kind of bills in a good long while._

 

_More and more specks of dust started falling to the floor as Mickey continued decorating - or destroying - the doorframe with the tip of the knife that he had retrieved from the kitchen. He soon started to run the weapon in the shape of an eight; maybe because it was an easy thing to do. Small, scratching noises registered in his brain, more and more of the bare wood being exposed underneath the white paint that covered the door frame. He had his head slightly tilted to the side, his mind sort of half inside of the room and half outside, only somewhat aware of what he was doing._

 

_The small bedroom that he slept in was quite dark now; the only thing giving him any kind of light was the moon up in the sky, somehow hitting the small window perfectly, admitting a stream of moonlight. Enough that Mickey could see what he was doing. He continued holding the knife, scratching the same spot over and over again, destroying more of the doorframe, but he didn’t care at all. He hated this fucking place anyway. Maybe in a couple of years when he was officially a teenager, he would be able to bring Mandy and move out somehow; at least out of the house and maybe even out of the state, as if he would ever end up being lucky enough for that._

 

_A loud crash suddenly caught his attention. He jumped back from the wall, dropping the knife in the process, the weapon tumbling to the floor, missing his sock covered toes by a single inch. The blue eyes widened and he parted his lips, breath hitching. He thought that maybe he could even feel the small hairs that covered his body stand up in surprise; and not the good kind. For a second after that, it was quiet; so quiet in fact, that Mickey was able to hear his own breaths. He counted them; One. Two. Three. Four - and there went another crash, making him wince, small, dark eyebrows furrowing._

 

_Mickey swallowed, forcing himself to pretend that he was brave as he bent down, picking the knife up from the pile of dust, using the black, dirty fabric of his shirt to brush the handle off just a little bit. He took a deep breath, clutching the weapon in his hand as he walked slowly towards the door of his bedroom, jumping back when another bang was heard, along with a muffled grumble from his father’s lips, and something light - like a glass - shattering. He continued walking, closing his eyes for a second once he reached the door of his bedroom, reaching forwards with his free hand, curling it around the knob._

 

_He waited._

 

_The last thing he wanted to do was go out there when his father would spot him; he was quite clearly in one of his moods. Mickey could easily acknowledge the fact that the smartest thing to do; the thing that would give him a great chance of staying safe and unharmed, was to jam his door and hide under the covers. But for all he knew, Mandy could have easily woken up by the bang - most likely, actually - and Mickey would never be able to keep himself safe unless he knew that his twin sister was as well. That was the most important thing; she was the most important thing in his life, and she probably always would be, if he was being honest._

 

_A few heavy steps reached Mickey’s ears then; his father was walking past his bedroom door. He swallowed in fear, doing his best to get rid of that annoying lump in his throat that screamed at him to go - go, run, and hide. Never come back. But what if Mandy wasn’t safe? It had happened before - Mickey hearing his father in one of his moods and ignoring it because ‘Mandy was asleep’. Then he had woken up and found her with bruises. That wouldn’t happen again, he had decided on that a long time ago._

 

_Finally, after the better half of five whole minutes, Mickey gathered up the courage to actually turn the doorknob, pulling the door open just a tiny bit; a sliver of space in between the wall that he could look out through; see a small part of the dark house, just enough. He couldn’t see a lot, though; of course since no lamps had been able to be turned on in weeks. Another bang sounded throughout the area, reaching Mickey’s ears, making him jump back once again, cursing inwardly._

 

_“Fuck” And out loud, too; through a quiet mumble. Mickey shook his head a little bit, teeth closing around the inside of his bottom lip, so hard that he was almost tasting blood; he knew that he would be tasting a lot more of it if his father caught wind of him at this moment, though. After a short moment of listening some more, he realized that his father had to be out in the kitchen by now, at least a little bit out of the way, so he opened the door again, looking outside. He just barely realized that the knife was shaking a little bit in his hand, gently tapping against his leg every once in a while; he doubted that he would have to use it on his father - he had never had the guts to anyway - but he wasn’t stupid enough to enter the rest of the house without having anything to defend himself with._

 

_By the time he was completely outside of his room, carefully closing the door behind himself, he didn’t see anything. He could hear a couple of more glasses shattering, his father throwing some more things to the floor, but Mickey didn’t flinch any longer; though his heart was beating heavily inside of his chest. He took one step away from the direction of the kitchen, heading to the bedroom door right beside his own, carefully opening that one as well; he clenched his eyes shut at the tired noise it made, hoping that his father was too fucked up for it to register with his mind._

 

_Mandy wasn’t in there. Her bed was unmade, so she had been asleep, but she wasn’t anymore. Mickey shook his head, closing it up again, continuing to chew at the inside of his bottomlip in frustration. Fuck, all he wanted to do was pull his sister into his room and make sure that he wasn’t hurting her; keep her safe. Right when he was about to turn around and gather up some courage to head into the kitchen, knife in hand to protect himself, the door to the bathroom opened. Mickey frowned, watching his sister’s small frame walk out, eyes red with tears. She had been hiding; sobbing._

 

_“Mickey” She whined, using her right hand to wipe away her tears, but only seeming to smear them around. “I’m scared” Mickey thought that maybe he could feel an actual, physical stab at his heart by the way she was crying; how terrified she was. He was just as scared, he just showed it in a different way, he supposed. Mandy continued to cry, but doing her best to keep quiet as their father was literally in the next room, continuing to throw things and stumble over certain items; if Mickey heart right, there were glasses, plates, bottles of beer, and maybe even a pan._

 

_“Mands, come here” Mickey reached his arms forwards, pulling her into them for a comforting hug. They may be the exact same age, but a lot of the time, Mickey did feel as if he was quite a bit older. Maybe it had to do with the need to protect his sister. She was both physically a lot smaller, and the one of them who was the most sensitive to shit like this; shit they both knew they shouldn’t actually have to deal with, but they were forced to anyway. Mandy sobbed into his shirt for a moment, before they pulled apart, and she wiped at her face again._

 

_Then they both turned around, heading slowly towards Mickey’s bedroom door, opening it up and walking inside; immediately feeling a lot safer; warmer. As much as they could in the moment, that was - which wasn’t a whole lot. Mickey closed the door without thinking about it - creating a somewhat quiet bang, but it was loud enough to reach the kitchen. That was quite obvious; if not for the way that it reached Mickey’s ears, then for the fact that the violent sounds immediately stopped coming from the kitchen._

 

_“Fuck” Mickey cursed, and Mandy directly rushed across the small room to get a hold of his desk chair, handing it over to her brother with fear in her eyes. Mickey couldn’t see all that much in the dark room still, but he managed to wrap his hands around the armrests of the old chair, turning around to jam it underneath the doorknob, both of the twins quickly kicking it into place right on time, backing away from the wall as his fist started banging against the other side of the door. Mickey swallowed, laying an arm around Mandy’s shoulders and keeping her close as it begun._

 

_“You little pieces of shit! Get out here! You think a fucking lock is gonna stop me, huh?! Fucking scum of the earth” Terry’s voice grew louder sometimes, and on certain words it fell into a mumble. Mickey could just barely make out the words; they were messy and drawn together. Probably because of all of the whiskey and beer that was in his system; maybe some harder drugs as well. Mickey had found them around sometimes. That one lump in Mickey’s throat continued to grow a little bit, and he frowned, forcing it down; forcing his eyes to stop burning. Now was not the time. His sister’s arms were already around his body, hands clutching at his shirt, face buried in the side of his chest._

 

_Mickey swallowed roughly, holding her back as the banging continued. The curses and the threats. The living hell that they couldn’t possibly escape._

 

  
***

 

  
That night - not for the first time, or the last - Mickey had worried that they would never be rid of him. That they would never in their entire lives be allowed to know what happiness was, and what freedom was. Mickey and Mandy had both had to put up with a lot of shit over the years, but that night… that night had to be one of the worst. Usually Terry would bang on the door for five, ten minutes at the very, very most. His mood had lasted over an hour that time, maybe even two. Mickey couldn’t remember; all he could remember was the fear that had been circling throughout his veins, and the pain that his father had caused. Sometimes physically, but mentally as well, he supposed.

 

Yeah. That night was one of the few times that he had been truly nervous - the rest of the instances that he would could weren’t a bad kind of nervous, really. There was somewhat of a difference between scared, terrified, nervous - and just nervous, he supposed. The kind of nervous that was nauseating but that didn’t carry with it any kind of threat, or any kind of potential harm.

 

And then, there was the in between.

 

  
***

 

  
_Mickey had his arms crossed, leaning against one of the damaged walls of the old house. A duffel bag, stuffed full of his shit rested on the old, creaking floor in between his feet. A large black t shirt hung over his body, paired with a pair of the blue skinny jeans that he rarely wore. He had just felt the need to try something new when he had gotten dressed this morning; he wasn’t all too sure why that had been, exactly. Maybe because his life was about to change - so it wouldn’t be all too bad to change something about himself as well. Not completely, though; he would never allow himself to change completely._

 

_“Mandy, are you fucking done yet? Gotta hurry” Mickey called to his sister; she was still inside of her room, packing up the very last of her shit that she would need to bring to Chicago. That lump that still present deep down in Mickey’s throat; he knew that there was a slight possibility that Terry would end up coming home soon. That would put a stop to every single one of their plans; so they had to hurry up. This was what they wanted to do; leave, move, disappear. It was what they had both wanted for the longest time, and now it was finally here. Mickey didn’t want to end up ruining it._

 

_“Couple seconds” Mandy called back; and Mickey sighed, leaning his head back against the wall. He lifted his right hand up to his face, pushing the glasses up a little bit, making sure they were sitting as they should._

 

_Then - fucking finally - the door to Mandy’s bedroom opened, and she stepped out. Two smaller duffel bags hung over either one of her shoulders; a grey and a purple one. They looked to be stuffed to the absolute limit - honestly they probably should have found a way to get some more bags, because they had a lot of shit to bring, and some of it they even were forced to leave behind because of lack of space to bring it. But it didn’t matter, honestly - whatever items they had left behind, whatever t shirts, or posters, it was all fine. They would forget about it all within a week. What was important was the fact that they were finally - fucking finally - getting out._

 

_Mickey picked his own bag up off of the floor, slinging it over his right shoulder before adjusting his glasses once more; maybe out of nervousness more than anything else. The two of them shared a small look - a look of relief - before they broke the eye-contact and started walking down the short hallway, towards the front door. Maybe a lot of kids would have stopped - turned around and looked, reminisced, because they would never again be inside of this house. The house they had grown up in. The house they had lived in for over fifteen years. But that was most kids. Mickey and Mandy didn’t have any good memories in this place - not a single fucking one. And if they did, they involved each other, and not so much this house._

 

_So they didn’t stop. They just walked past the kitchen, and through the livingroom. Mandy opened the front door, letting her brother walk out before following suit. They both hurried somewhat, throwing their bags into the backseat of the large, crappy ass car that they had shared for the past two years. Then Mickey got into the drivers seat, and his sister got into the passenger seat. They started driving, and after that, they just… never bothered to look back._

 

  
***

 

  
Mickey lost his train of thought for a second, thinking about that car, reminded that they should really get one again. The fact that the stupid thing had broken down just a few days after they had gotten back from camp last summer had been anything but a pleasant surprise. It also sucked because that had been their car. The car that had gotten them out of their old life, and into the new one. The good one. Mickey wasn’t going to cry over a car or some shit, but it did suck. It would have been nice to keep it for a while longer.

 

So yes, leaving Texas had been another moment in Mickey’s life where he had been completely, and terribly nervous. Scared. But of course that had been a better kind; it had been a good kind of nervous, a good kind of scared. Because neither him, nor his sister had had any clue as to how their new life would end up, where they would end up going; but they had known that anything would be better than how they had spent the first fifteen, sixteen years of their lives. So if there was a way to be completely, amazingly excited about something, though absolutely terrified all at the same time - that’s how Mickey had felt when he had started to drive that car out of Texas. And he couldn’t imagine that Mandy had felt much differently.

 

And in a million fucking years - Mickey would never have been able to imagine that he would end up here. In love, happy - fucking married - not even two years after they had left. It was all crazy, fucked up. Not just that part of it, but everything. School, and the apartment, and Mandy was happy, and he was happy, and - it was all kind of a lot. More than they would have been able to imagine, more than they would have been able to hope for. Quite insane, actually - that their lives had changed so immensely in such a short span of time. It didn’t even feel real, anymore. When he looked back. It felt more like a horrible dream or some shit.

 

The third time that he had been that nervous, of course - had been that day. The day when he and Ian had said those two words to each other, the day that they had promised each other that they would be together forever. In the hours before, in fact, Mickey was quite certain that he had literally been shaking. Completely, in every single meaning of the word, and he wasn’t that kind of person. Getting married was a nerve-wracking thing. Being in love - over all - was, he supposed. But it had been well over six months since that day at this point, and they were doing good. More than good, in fact. Life just kind of rolled on, but it was a good life. Mickey had to admit; it was something that he had never really thought that he would be granted as he had grown up.

 

“Are you ready to go?” Mickey turned around at the voice. Mandy was standing in the doorway of his and Ian’s bedroom, leaning against the frame. The dark hair was for once not pulled up into a ponytail at the back of her head; instead it was straightened, pouring down over her small frame. Over her shoulders and down her back. Her bangs had grown out a little bit in the past few months, and instead of hanging down straight, covering her forehead, she had them more to the side, ending right by her cheekbone. The black dress she had picked out for today reached quite a bit down her thighs, the sleeves ending right by her elbows. Nothing but her regular black sneakers sat on her feet - looking strikingly similar to Mickey’s own that were laced up over his feet.

 

“It’s just this fucking tie, can’t believe they’re making me wear this shit.” Mickey mumbled, displeased as he fought with the fabric around his neck, not quite sure how the fuck you were supposed to tie it; he could count the times he had worn one of these things on less than one fucking hand, and he always hated it. The feeling of being strangled as it held his neck; he also felt extremely out of place. A tie was just not his thing in any sense of the word whatsoever. But he had promised to wear one today - what the actual fuck? Why had he promised? Hell if he knew, honestly. He had just kind of been all kinds of shocked when they had first asked him to do this.

 

Granted, he didn’t have to wear a full on suit or anything; he just had on a somewhat standard black button up and a pair of his regular dark washed jeans - and his old chucks, because like hell he was giving those up - but dressing like this wasn’t him. The tie made him look like even more of a nerd than his glasses already did, god fucking damn it. But then again, it was only for an afternoon. That was what he kept telling himself, he didn’t have to do this tomorrow again, or the next day, or anything like that.

 

“I’ll help” Mandy sighed after a few more seconds of watching her twin brother struggle with the tie around his neck, making so many mistakes that she almost wanted to visibly cringe. She walked inside of the room, throwing the thin leather jacket onto the bed; it was way too hot for a jacket, but the weather had been all kinds of fucked up in the past few days, so it didn’t hurt to bring it, she supposed. She brought her right hand up to her eyebrow, absentmindedly moving the new ring around a little bit, making sure it wasn’t stuck. Once she was close enough, the put her hands onto Mickey’s tie instead, undoing the pathetic excuse for a knot herself before starting to do it all over again.

 

“Thanks” Mickey said, looking down at her hands. They fought a fuck ton - they always had, he supposed - but in a way they were also extremely close; it would be strange not to be at this point. They had been through so much shit together. He didn’t think of their past daily, or even monthly, but when he did, he always felt some kind of a stab inside of himself. Just… fear of what could have happened, he supposed. The realization that they had been in real and true danger twenty four hours a day for over fifteen years. They may not ever be rich and famous or some shit like that, but they were fucking lucky. “Don’t know why the fuck they’re making me do this thing, I don’t even study that hard” Mickey muttered after a small moment of comfortable silence in between the twins.

 

Mandy snorted, holding the end of the tie and moving the knot up further, finishing it off and letting go, her hands falling to her sides as she took a step or two backwards, admiring her work, nodding once, letting him know that it was good enough now.

 

“Bullshit” She stated then, walking over to the bed to pick her jacket back up. Then she stood in front of her brother, eyebrows raised. “I know how many sleepless nights you’ve gotten lately, you fucking study harder than anybody I know”

 

“Don’t mean I wanna hold a fucking speech” Mickey muttered under his breath, shaking his head, making his sister sigh as she turned around, both of then starting to head out of the bedroom and out into the livingroom again.

 

“You should feel lucky, Mick. Not a lot of people ever get to be valedictorians. It’s an privilege” Ian pointed out, struggling to keep his smile under control as he watched his husband walk out of their bedroom, the tie in place. Together with the button up shirt, the glasses, and the perfectly styled hair, he almost looked like a stereotypical nerd. Mickey ended up shrugging at his comment, and Ian waited until Mandy had entered her own bedroom again, probably making sure she had everything with her for today; once she was out of sight, Ian reached out, laying an arm around Mickey’s waist and tugging him to him. “You look fucking hot” Ian murmured, capturing his bottom lip in between his teeth.

 

“Yeah?” Mickey asked, also struggling to keep his smile from growing way too large, his hands resting onto his husband’s chest while he looked up at him. Ian hummed, and they shared a kiss, Ian’s free hand tugging at Mickey’s tie for a moment before they pulled apart again. “Don’t feel too fucking great about this shit” Mickey admitted then - it was obvious, most likely. “Fucking talking in front of people”

 

“Your speech is great, it’s the best thing I’ve ever read in my entire life” Ian assured him, and Mickey tilted his head to the side, rolling his eyes.

 

“You’re just saying that because you helped write it, jackass” Mickey punched Ian’s chest, making his husband laugh as they let go of each other. Finally, Mickey ended up feeling a little bit lighter.

 

  
***

 

  
Ian stood in the middle of the sea of blue caps and gowns, his arms hanging by his sides as he smiled up at the stage; Mickey was still sitting in a chair at the edge of it as the principle spoke, looking quite out of place. He would do good, though - Ian knew that he would. He believed in him more than he would ever or had ever believed in anybody before. His husband was looking at the principle’s profile, seeming as if he was trying to focus all of his attention on his words, so that he wouldn’t have to think of his own all too much. His face was somewhat blank, but he didn’t look scared - or even terribly nervous - just somewhat nervous. Which wasn’t strange. Talking wasn’t Mickey’s thing by a long shot - nor was people - so talking in front of people could easily cause him to freak out a little bit, but he was doing good.

 

Ian watched his right hand raise up to his face, and he pushed his glasses up - a bulletproof sign of nervousness - but it was also really fucking cute. And hot. God fucking damn it, Mickey looked good up there. For a second, as the speech continued - the one neither Ian nor Mickey were really listening to - Mickey tore his attention off of the principle, and Ian watched his eyes travel throughout the crowd for a few moments, before they found his own. His face immediately relaxing a little bit.

 

 _‘I love you’_ Ian mouthed as soon as he was sure he had his attention. Mickey might have tried to fight it, but his mouth immediately pulled up into a large smile.

 

_‘I love you too’_

 

  
***

 

  
Oddly enough, once Mickey stood up there and opened his mouth, it wasn’t quite as scary as he had imagined it to be from the beginning. Possibly mostly because he never once broke the eye contact with Ian; he just kind of pretended that that was the only person that he was speaking to, and the words rolled off of his tongue. It just made him feel calm. Ian always did, and Mickey didn’t want to think of a day when he wouldn’t be there anymore; though right now, things were so fucking good he couldn’t possibly imagine that a day like it would come.

 

  
***

  
Mandy had since long taken her cap and gown off, and both items laid beside her on the bench as she sat outside of the school, her feet pulled up onto the wood as well, arms closed around her legs, holding herself. She wasn’t sad or anything like that, it was more as if she needed a minute to absorb all of this. Today she had graduated - Mickey and Ian, and Scooter and Sabrina too, for that matter. But mainly what was shocking to her was the fact that she and her brother had… made it. Somehow.

 

Yeah, maybe high school wasn’t the end of the road, maybe it was a beginning, and maybe they would both go through a lot of shit in the future as well, but - it was the end of _one_ road. Sort of the end of their childhood, the end of all of the shit they had dealt with so far. Growing up with Terry had been hell, and nor Mickey nor Mandy had ever really, really believed that they would get out. That they would make a better life for themselves, or that Mickey would end up fucking valedictorian of all kinds of shit, like what?

 

Their lives were so different now. From how they had lived even just two years ago, it was… kind of amazing in a way. So Mandy just wanted to sit here for a second, just soaking it all in.

 

A moment later, though, someone sat down carelessly, right beside her, and she heard the metal click of someone lighting a cigarette. Mandy frowned, looking to her right to see Ian’s older brother - Lip? Was that right? It probably was, that’s what she remembered it as, at least.

 

“What do you want?” She asked, voice flat. The boy just smirked at her, inhaling the smoke.

 

“You’re eighteen now, right?” Mandy raised her eyebrows for a beat, elbowing him in the side, both of them chuckling.

 

“Fuck you”

 

  
***

 

  
“When the summer’s over or whatever, it’s gonna be okay, right?” Mickey said later that night, when they were in bed, his cheek leaning against Ian’s chest, the long arms wrapped around his body, holding him close. Going to colleges to far away from each other wasn’t the best thing to do if they wanted to make sure that their relationship would be just as strong as it was now. But in the end, they had decided that it wasn’t a good idea to make their decisions based on the other person. So now, the only thing they could really do was hope.

 

Ian hummed, tugging his husband even closer to him. He wasn’t all too worried.

 

“Forever” He reminded Mickey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up that the epilogue is going to be called 'Future' and it's going to be more of small snippets from college leading forwards, rather than a whole chapter based in one day or anything like that. Although, there will probably be a longer part at the end as well. 
> 
> <3


	20. Future (Epilogue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All four years of college weren't all that smooth, of course. It was quite a long period of time, a lot of shit happened. Sure, Ian and Mickey drove to see each other every once in a while, but they always had a lot of pressure on them when it came to doing well in their classes, and at one point, it became so much that they didn’t physically see each other for over six months, though phone calls and video calls were of course somewhat regular things.
> 
> And they fought, too - long distance was a fucking bitch.

“I hate this” Ian muttered to himself; he probably hadn’t meant for Mickey to hear it, but it ended up reaching his ears anyhow. It probably shouldn’t have made him smile, but he couldn't help it - though they had made it clear to each other a thousand and one times over, he would always like to be reminded of how much Ian loved him, and how much he didn’t want to be away from him. It felt good. Mickey bent down, lifting one of the heavy duffel-bags up off of the ground, throwing it into the trunk of the large - but somewhat banged up - silver colored SUV. He had to admit that he was extremely thankful that Ian’s sister wasn’t above dating jackasses who stole cars for a living - it benefited them, at least. Fiona had driven it over to their apartment complex as a delayed graduation gift a couple of weeks ago.

 

Mickey grabbed the other bag, throwing it into the trunk as well, and then leaving it open so that Mandy could get her things into the car as well - whenever she was done texting Ian’s brother, that was. How and when the fuck did that happen? Mickey wasn’t sure he wanted to know - actually, no - he surely didn’t want to know.

 

“It’s not like it’s forever or some shit” Mickey pointed out, turning around to face his husband where he stood, arms crossed, sullen look on his face. Right now probably wasn’t the best time to point out how fucking hot he looked at the moment - the color green and the very idea of tank tops that exposed so much of his muscular arms were a lethal combination - so Mickey bit his tongue, though that didn’t stop his eyes from wandering over his body for a little bit. Instead, he reached out, wrapping his arms around Ian’s waist, tugging them close together, the serious look on his husband’s face immediately shattering, being replaced by a smile, green eyes looking into blue. “It’s gonna be alright, we’re gonna see each other and shit. A lot”

 

It was strange. In the beginning, it was Mickey who had been nervous about the idea of the two of them going to college so far away from each other, but lately it was Ian who had been expressing concern. Well - not concern so much as just sadness that they wouldn’t be waking up beside each other every morning anymore. Which sucked, obviously. But they couldn’t make their decisions based on each other, who the fuck knew what could happen, really. Even the two of them were smart enough to realize that. Besides - they were legally married and shit, had been for almost an entire year at this point; it felt steady.

 

“I know” Ian muttered, tugging Mickey even a little bit closer to him. “Just really gonna miss you” He spoke then, and Mickey nodded, pressing himself even closer, neither of them able to let go for one second, because they wouldn’t have the chance to do this again in weeks, or maybe even months.

 

“Me too, babe” Mickey promised, making sure to use the petname, only because he knew how much Ian liked the sound of it coming from his lips. Ian grinned, dipping his head, capturing Mickey’s lips in between his own in a loving, open mouthed kiss.

 

“Mick - you coming?” They were interrupted by Mandy’s voice, followed by the dunce of her throwing her bag into the trunk, slamming it closed afterwards. Mickey rolled his eyes, looking up at Ian as they reluctantly started to let go of each other; Ian brought his hand up to his husband’s glasses, pushing them up once more, just because.

 

  
An hour or two after they had all said their final goodbyes, and the twins were well on their way to heading out of the state, the few fears that Mickey had left about college, just kind of… blew away. As much as he would miss Ian, and as strange as it would be not to be in Chicago anymore after close to two years of living there - he felt good about this. It was a change in his life, and those had rarely been bad things. Besides - he realized as he looked towards the passenger seat - he had his sister with him, they would always be a kickass team.

 

  
***

 

  
Once Ian, Mickey and Mandy all got used to being in college, things just kind of… rolled on. Quite smoothly, actually. A lot - a lot, a lot - of their time was spent studying, making sure they were doing good, because Ian had started to get a little bit of that kick in the past few years, wanting to prove that he could be a good student, even if he came from a messy home. And Mickey and Mandy, well… it was kind of the same thing with them, they liked to feel good about themselves, liked to prove things to themselves, that despite how big of failures they had felt like during the first fifteen, sixteen years of their lives - that wasn’t the truth.

 

They didn’t have to be that, they could be good people. Not all of this was conscious, of course - but that didn’t make it any less true. In fact, maybe despite how nervous he had been, Mickey had been quite pleased with himself back by graduation when he had made valedictorian. It was a big accomplishment.

 

Anyway - despite the fact that the two colleges weren’t further away from each other than that they could take a ten hour day to make the drive to see each other, they rarely did. Finding the time was just extremely complicated. They talked, though. A couple of times a week - sometimes even two days in a row. It didn’t sound like a lot, but in the end, Ian and Mickey kept their relationship good, they didn’t need to talk a whole lot every single day if they couldn’t find the time to do so - even if they would have liked to.

 

Today, though - for the first time in however many months of being away from each other, Mickey was fucking finally inside of the old, beat up SUV, driving down to see his husband. He had a few days off, and since he was really fucking craving Ian, he had just decided to do it; he had asked Mandy if she wanted to come with him, see something else than the college campus, but she had just scrunched her nose and shook her head, answering that she had better things to do than to listen to her brother and her best friend fucking, and as much as Mickey loved his sister - he was quite thankful she had been smart enough not to accept his offer, actually.

 

They were well into November at this point - almost December, actually - and the snow was falling down in a haze around Mickey’s car; almost so much that he couldn’t see perfectly as he drove. But it wasn’t that scary as it hadn’t been on the ground long enough to become slippery yet. He had had one class this morning, which meant that by the time he had gotten into the car, it had been at least lunch time, and now that he had been driving for a while, the darkness had begun to fall around him. Ian knew he was coming, of course - and they would hopefully just be able to order some food or something and stay in tonight. That’s all Mickey wanted to do after going months without seeing his husband.

 

Mickey supposed that the colleges weren’t all that far away from each other technically, and in a way it didn’t make perfect sense to go months without seeing each other when you could just drive over - long drive aside. But with studying, and with figuring their lives out, and everything like that, it just hadn’t happened. Which sucked - no fucking doubt. But they couldn’t help that, not really.

 

The snow continued falling out side of the car, soft and relaxed breaths escaping Mickey’s nose every now and then as he drove, getting closer and closer to Ian’s college with every rotation of the wheels.

 

  
***

 

  
Mickey had borrowed one of Mandy’s smaller sized duffel bags to keep a couple of things in since he was only crashing for a day, or possibly two. The thick strap was thrown over his shoulder as he walked through the hallways that he had only walked through once before. A few people passed him while he headed towards Ian’s dorm, but he didn’t pay them any attention, nor did they pay him any. He could start to feel the lack of sleep start to register inside of his brain by now; getting up early for a class, and then packing, and then driving en straight hours, only stopping one single time throughout it - it was a lot. Mickey hadn’t been all that tired whilst he had actually been physically driving, because he hadn’t had any kind of choice other than to stay awake, but now all he wanted to do was get to Ian. And fall asleep.

 

Mickey didn’t have a key to the room or anything, so when he stood outside, he just lifted his fist up to the dark colored wood, letting his knuckles hit the surface a couple of times. Then he ran his fingers through the strands of brown hair on top of his head, thankful that he hadn’t bothered to put any kind of product in it today. It didn’t take more than maybe a few seconds after the knock, before the door swung open, revealing Ian, a large, stretched grin covering his face. Mickey couldn’t help but mirror it, their arms immediately winding around each other, Ian’s face pressed into his neck.

 

“You fucking made it”

 

  
***

 

  
Later that night, the two of them were laying on the small bed in the middle of Ian’s dorm room - Mickey guessed that his husband had made sure to get a single dorm room, just so that they would be able to do whatever they wanted on the rare occasions that they managed to get some time together, and he would always be extremely thankful for that fact. Personally, he was currently sharing a dorm with his sister, and it wasn’t pretty - then again, they kept each other somewhat grounded, he supposed. It would be strange not to live together, whether it was in an apartment or a tiny room.

 

Ian was laying in the middle of the bed, on his back, lazily watching the television, and Mickey was next to him, on his back as well, hand resting on his bicep, his husband’s fingers trailing through his hair. A couple of empty pizza boxes were laying spread out onto the floor, and they hadn’t bothered to clean them up - it was the same thing with the cans of coke and beer that was beside them. The time was well past midnight at this point, and Mickey thought that he could feel different parts of his body just kind of dozing off, but he fought to keep his eyes open; he just liked this. Liked laying next to Ian, watching television, sleep would never be more important. Especially when they weren’t sure the next time they would get the chance to do this.

 

Finally, Mickey took a deep breath, forcing his exhausted body to obey him as he pushed himself up, turning around and moving so that he was laying on top of Ian, his hands resting at his collarbones; their eyes connected easily, a lazy smile on Ian’s lips, but Mickey could see that he was just as tired as he was himself. Neither of them said anything for a beat - because of that reason. Then, Ian swallowed visibly, and he lifted his right hand up to Mickey’s face, pushing at his glasses, making his husband snort in amusement. It had since long become somewhat of an inside joke between them; Mickey didn’t do that as much himself anymore - he had done it more when he was younger. Fourteen, fifteen, but he had stopped doing it almost completely around the time high school had ended. Maybe it had been a nervous tick, he wasn’t sure. Either way, he would always like it when Ian did it.

 

Ian flattened his hand out a little bit, holding Mickey’s cheek instead, feeling him lean into it, eyes fluttering closed for a second.

 

“You are so fucking beautiful, Mick” Mickey blinked down at him, eyelids feeling incredibly heavy as he hummed, nodding once, lowering his face a little bit closer to Ian’s, too tired to make out, but wanting more of just this. Of being close.

 

“You too, Gallagher.”

 

  
***

 

  
All four years of college weren't all that smooth, of course. It was quite a long period of time, a lot of shit happened. Sure, Ian and Mickey drove to see each other every once in a while, but they always had a lot of pressure on them when it came to doing well in their classes, and at one point, it became so much that they didn’t physically see each other for over six months, though phone calls and video calls were of course somewhat regular things.

 

And they fought, too - long distance was a fucking bitch. At one point, they even split. It wasn’t a completely serious thing, it wasn’t as if they filed for divorce or anything, but they did have about a month where they just didn’t know in or out or up and down - they supposed you could blame one of them for that. Or both of them, or the distance, or all of the school work, but in all honestly - it was bound to happen at some point. Getting married so young, there was no fucking way they would stay the same people as they were when they got married, and growing up created certain cracks in their relationship. Thankfully, though - they were able to repair it, and by the time they graduated from college, things were all good again. They were good; maybe better than ever, even.

 

  
***

 

  
“Gallagher, are you gonna tell me where the fuck we’re going or not? Because you know I’m not gonna stop asking” Mickey complained - only half-heartedly - as Ian was in the driver seat of the car that they had saved up for and finally bought to share in the last year of college. Ian just chuckled at his husband’s empty threats - he would get tired of asking soon enough - and he brought his own hand to his, lacing their fingers together while he shook his head. There was so fucking chance he was telling Mickey where they were going, that would spoil the surprise. In fact, he was quite looking forwards to seeing his face when he realized. Granted, Ian couldn’t be positive whether the reaction would be a good one, or a bad one. He guessed a bad one first, and a good one later - that was how it usually went when he surprised his husband, which was why he didn’t do it a whole lot - because Mickey actually quite disliked surprises.

 

Mickey was silent after that, looking absentmindedly out the window, a comfortable silence filling the car. Ian turned his head, looking down at their hands, the rings - well, Mickey’s ring - his own was on the hand that he currently had resting on the wheel. Only about a couple of months or so after they had both graduated college - on their wedding anniversary - Mickey had surprised Ian with a new set of rings. As much as they both had loved their first set - which they obviously had, because they had been the rings that they had first slipped onto each other’s fingers, the rings that had first symbolized their commitment to each other - they had been very thin and very cheap, of course.

 

The ones that Mickey had bought didn’t look a whole lot different, they just looked more expensive - of course, because they were - they looked to be of better quality, the band thicker, and somehow a darker shade of gold if that made any kind of sense. Ian had cried when Mickey had first presented them - he hadn’t been able to help himself whatsoever. It was just kind of one of those things that reminded him how lucky they actually were that they had made it so far, nobody had believed that they would. Not even the two of them at certain points in time. In fact, Ian had a feeling that Fiona had been somewhat surprised when they lasted a year into college. And then they had lasted two, and then three and four, and now they were full blown adults with jobs, and money and an apartment all to themselves and things like that - and they were still going strong.

 

For some reason it all just… Ian liked to think about it. Liked to think about how lucky he was to have found the love of his life so early on.

 

Mickey was still silent, probably thinking about something or other, wrapped up in his own head. While Ian continued driving, he looked out over the road ahead of him, thinking about where they were going. The closer they got to the house, the more nervous he was starting to become that Mickey wouldn’t take this all too well. The two of them had always kind of had an agreement that they wouldn’t rush to get a house - or kids if they were ever to decide on doing that, which was still quite a few years down the line, but Ian would like to think that they would reach that point someday - hell, they didn’t even have a pet. So in a way, maybe this was too fast. Not necessarily in their relationship, of course, thinking about how long they had really been together - but just in their lives over all. They were still young, still had a lot of time ahead of them to do things like this.

 

Though then again - it wasn’t as if Ian had just one day decided to start looking for houses with the intention of buying one or anything like that. It had just kind of happened. He had happened to spot the ‘for sale’ sign outside of the place, while visiting Mandy and Lip a few streets over, and he had looked at it, just for fun. That’s when he had seen it - the light blue paint, and the white picket fence, and the large yard where he would be able to teach their future children how to play soccer. The large kitchen where he could just see Mickey helping them out with their math homework, and the laundry room where Ian would obviously pull Mickey to, just to have a quick makeout session while their kids were watching television.

 

Ian wanted that - he wanted a home. A cheesy, cliché, white picket fenced home. With children. With Mickey. That’s what he wanted, and he hadn’t been able to help himself. They weren’t even twenty five yet, so obviously the kids would have to wait - he was in no way, shape or form in a rush to get to that. But he had liked the house, he had loved the house, and it had felt right. Almost as if they were meant to buy it. So that’s what Ian had done - stupidly, maybe - but he had done it. And he was happy he had done it. Whether Mickey would be or not, that he would find out soon.

 

  
In the first few minutes, when Ian had asked Mickey to get into the car, stating that he had a surprise, Mickey had complained - of fucking course he had - and he had asked quite a few times where the hell they were going, but finally he had decided to give up, realizing that he wasn’t getting anywhere. Honestly, he had no fucking idea where the hell his husband was taking him, but he supposed that it was important to him, so he kept his mouth shut and he started out the window, comfortable silence filling the car mile after mile.

 

It didn’t exactly take a whole lot of time, though, before Mickey realized that the roads Ian was taking were the ones that they had taken just about a million times before, to get to Mandy and Lip’s house - and by the way, years and years after the two of them had first gotten together, Mickey still didn’t know what the hell his sister saw in the jackass, but apparently things in between them were good, so he had since long given up on asking her about it, because all he got at this point was an eyeroll. He would never like Lip, nor would Lip ever like him, but they were stuck in the same circle anyway, so they might as well just ignore each other. Except of course the holidays when Mickey always got his shots in - and the other way around, though Mickey’s were a lot better.

 

Mickey was just kind of so lost in his own random, quickly passing thoughts that he wasn’t thinking about their surroundings again until Ian finally stopped the car. Mickey frowned, ready to figure out what his husband was actually thinking, so he knitted his eyebrows slightly, looking around. Honestly, there wasn’t much for him to go on. He knew that they were close to Lip and Mandy’s house, because the street looked similar, but he didn’t recognize any of the houses, so they weren’t on their street. All he could see was a bunch of white picket fences and houses that looked like the ones in random, cliché movies. Ian stayed silent, letting Mickey look around, until finally Mickey lifted his right hand up to his glasses, pushing at them since he could feel them easing down his nose a little bit, and he turned his head, continuing to frown in confusion, their eyes connecting.

 

“The fuck are we, Gallagher?” Ian licked his lips - a nervous tick he had developed in the past year or so - and it made Mickey wonder even more.

 

“Come on” Ian nodded, turning around to open the door on his side, getting out of the car. Mickey was left inside, and he waited a moment, trying to figure out what the actual hell Ian had to show him in a place like this; unless they were visiting Lip and Mandy, they were rarely in a place with houses that looked like these - he wasn’t sure how comfortable he was; they had both always kind of lived in old houses or crappy apartments. Which wasn’t a bad thing, it was fine. If they ever chose to get a place like this - the thought of it almost made Mickey laugh, because it would have to be in the very distant future - it would probably have to take a little while for him to get used to it, honestly.

 

Finally, Mickey shrugged, figuring he should at least see what the hell his husband was thinking, and he turned to the side, opening the passenger door, getting out as well, hearing the click of the door behind his back. Ian was standing on the side walk a couple of feet away from the car, his arms crossed in front of his chest while he looked up at the house. Mickey couldn’t really do anything but frown, and wonder if he had gone bat shit crazy or some shit - why the hell was he taking him to some random house in the suburbs? It didn’t make all that much sense.

 

“The fuck?” Mickey asked, if only to get Ian’s attention. Ian’s frame jumped a little bit - he wasn’t completely shocked by Mickey’s sudden voice, but it was apparent that it had tugged him out of some kind of deep thought. “You gonna tell me what the fuck this is now?” He asked, hoping to get a real answer this time as he crossed his arms, taking a few steps over to Ian to stand by his side, looking up at the house as well. It looked good - of course it did. It was a five kid, two parent, private school, fucking white picket fence suburban home. So why the fuck were they here?

 

“Do you like this house?” With his words, Mickey felt his arm wrap around his waist, and he immediately leaned into the touch, relaxing. Though that didn’t distract him from all of the questions swirling around inside of his head, it kind of only made him more confused, but sure -

 

“Yeah, man. It’s a nice house” Mickey shrugged, not sure what exact response that his husband had been looking for. “So what?” He asked then, raising his eyebrows, turning his head to look at Ian first, and then they both turned their entire bodies to face each other, Mickey noticing that Ian forced himself to take somewhat of a deep breath. “Look, Ian, if you want us to get it, you need to snap out of it, alright? It’s too early to get a fucking house, and besides - someone already beat you to it” He stated, nodding to the large ‘SOLD’ sign that was stuck to a bigger sign. Ian nodded.

 

“Yeah, I did” The three words were out of Ian’s mouth so fucking fast that Mickey could just barely catch them, and he couldn’t decide whether he wanted to knit his eyebrows together, or raise them in surprise, so they kind of went in between a couple of times, his mouth opening and closing until he finally managed to push some kind of words out into the world.

 

“What the - what, you did what?” Was what he managed to say. The words didn’t make much sense, but he just - he didn’t know what the fuck to say. It felt like one shock after another - the first one being of course that all of this this afternoon had been for this - they had a house. They were going to live here. With a fucking white picket fence and shit. Mickey’s first reaction was to be happy, to be ecstatic, because in a way, he had always wanted that with Ian. Not that he had necessarily wanted it so soon into their lives. The happy stage of the surprise, though - only lasted for a small second or so - then he became angry.

 

This was something that they were supposed to do together, decide together. A long time from now - years from now even. Mickey was Ian’s husband - how the fuck did he think that he had the right to make a huge fucking life decision like this one - without even consulting him? It didn’t make any kind of sense whatsoever, and in Mickey’s opinion, it was anything but fair.

 

Whether he liked the house or not - he really fucking did, but that wasn’t the point - he should have been with him to pick it out. He had wanted to go to a bunch of different houses, maybe had a baby coming in one way or another. He had counted on them being a lot older, fuck they weren’t even twenty five yet. All of that was supposed to come when they were twenty nine, thirty, and maybe even a little bit older than that. How the hell did Ian think that he would ever be alright with this shit?

 

It took Mickey a short second more to realize that Ian was staring at him, nervously eating away at the inside of his bottom lip, waiting to see whether his reaction would be alright, or terrible.

 

“What - the - actual - fuck?” Each word was delivered with a somewhat light punch to Ian’s chest, and he grabbed a hold of Mickey’s wrists, stopping him - well, stopping the physical anger - Mickey was still frowning, obviously pissed the fuck off. “I can’t fucking believe you would do this, we were supposed to do this shit together, Gallagher” Mickey complained, suddenly going from angry to disappointed, making Ian sigh.

 

In a way, Ian supposed that he could have counted out that Mickey wouldn’t be completely ecstatic from the get-go - he hated surprised, good or bad. He had just hoped that they could get through this one without fighting, because he had truly had good intentions, he had wanted this to be a good thing, a happy thing. A small step into the future that they wanted to have with each other one day.

 

“I’m sorry, okay?” Ian sighed. “But… I didn’t plan it, I just saw it one day, and I really loved it, and I could just…” He trailed off for a second, and Mickey’s face relaxed a little bit, a sign that he was at least somewhat willing to hear his husband out. “Come here” Ian said then, his fingers resting in between Mickey’s as he pulled him with him up the driveway, heading towards the porch - it looked like it wrapped around the entire house. God fucking damn it, why couldn’t Ian have bought a house that wasn’t subconsciously something that Mickey dreamed of having? It wasn’t fair.

 

Ian sat down on the steps, and Mickey only hesitated a second before doing the same.

 

“Look… out life has been kind of a mess in the past few years” He started to explain. Mickey couldn’t help but like how he used ‘life’ instead of ‘lives’ of course they had separate lives, did different things, but not when it came to the big things. It was yet another reminder that they were Ian and Mickey, and they had been for a long time, among their family and friends, it was kind of a… brand. One Mickey had grown quite fond of. “I saw this and I really loved it, I wanted to surprise you, because I knew you would love it, too” Ian said, turning his head to look at Mickey; by now the anger had thankfully fallen off of his face just about completely. “And you do, right?” He said then, raising his eyebrows. He didn’t technically need an answer, he knew Mickey well enough at this point.

 

Mickey sighed, answering anyway.

 

“It’s fucking great, okay?” Then he shrugged again. “Just don’t like the surprise of it all” Ian nodded, reaching out for his hand again, their fingers lacing together.

 

“I’m sorry I did this without you” Ian looked down at their hands for another beat before looking up, their eyes connecting, Mickey nodding. It was alright. He couldn’t be mad at him for too long - after all, Ian had meant nothing but good. Then Ian smirked. “Promise I won’t go find a surrogate without you” Mickey snorted, their hands slipping apart, so that he could push his shoulder.

 

“Fuck, no man. We’re adopting, do you know how many fucking kids are without parents?” Ian laughed, doing his best to ignore the way in which his stomach tingled at the mere thought of raising a child with Mickey.

 

“Okay” Ian nodded, bringing his hand up to Mickey’s glasses, pushing at them. “When we have kids, we’ll adopt”

 

“A long time from now” Mickey raised an eyebrow, making sure they were on the same page. Ian just hummed, that beautiful smile staying stuck on his lips.

 

“We’ll see”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. This is it. The reason I finished it so fast (and rushed it and didn't make it half as good as I could have, let's be honest) is because I really want to get started on the book that I'm actually publishing and stuff, and I don't want to have a bunch of half-finished projects going while I'm doing that. I will keep writing in this fandom, however, it just won't be as much, or as often. 
> 
> For those of you who read a lot of my work and who might be interested, here's how I'm thinking I'll keep up with both fanfiction and original books: First of all, for the few of you who read REHAB, that will still be updated. I'm thinking maybe once a week, starting next week. Prompts will most likely drop out every once in a while, too, just not super often.   
> I'm not gonna lie, I do feel myself drifting out of the fandom a tiny bit, but I do have ideas for completely new fics, and I'll see if I'll ever end up doing anything with those. The one thing you can be certain of is that the La Vie En Rose sequel *will* happen. I'm excited about that, I haven't forgotten, it's just a matter of finding time to do it. After REHAB is completed, that's when I'm starting that up. Hopefully at the end of this year, we'll see what happens with that! 
> 
> I'm not gonna share anything about the original book I'm starting, mostly because I feel like it's boring for you guys, 'cause you don't know anything. I mean, if you're interested, then absolutely feel free to ask, but you know... I'm not sure how many people care haha. 
> 
> Thanks to those of you who always stick with me, I love yous so muchhh <3


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